***Disclaimer: No, I don't own any of the wrestlers contained here, or in any part of the Random Rumble Roses Battle Theatre. All characters are probably owned by Konami; and this is all fiction, any similarities to anything that resembles an actual event is a total fluke.***
As the ring is dismantled, in preparation for the main event out on the Rose Garden Beach; let's get the final thoughts from the competitors in this Tornado Tag Mad Mud Match; the winners of which earn themselves the #1 Contendership to the Twin Roses in Bloom Tag Team Championship.
"This is what it's all about, right here; the Beautiful youth rising up to slay the old hags trying to deny us our rightful place. My girl Candy's ready to show y'all that School really isn't cool, and I can't wait to bury that stupid Cowgirl's floppy old tits and saggy old ass in 'dat dere mud-pit.'" Rowdy Reiko is the first up in this pre-match formality. Players of the first game may recognise her revealing sparkly silver halter-top bikini, as she revs up her absurdly tricked-out Bosozoku Bike, and wheelies out of shot.
"The hell do I need to follow Teach back to that sunless wasteland for? I got everything I need right here: Sun, Sea, Sand and Gold!" Flicking one of her bright red pigtails about, Candy Cane makes her confident - bordering on arrogant – pronouncement wearing her Burberry plaid bikini, the bottoms of which don't do a great job of covering her, well bottom, and the top doesn't come down low enough to cover all of her chest.
"Who the hell does this girl think she is?" Outraged, Dixie Clements traces the curve of her smooth buttock with her finger. "There ain't nothing wrong with my ass, and as for these..." In her golden yellow string bikini, it's quite clear that Reiko is just talking trash.
"Oh dear, this will not do: Mud Wrestling? Miss Welsh, I don't want to see you hurt, but even more, I can't allow you to degrade yourself so. Your future is so promising..." The most conservatively dressed of the four, Miss Spencer has her own yellow Dixie style thong two piece, but these are partially visible under a white cropped vest, and a pair of denim hot-pants. Taking her glasses off, she sighs, and makes her way towards the ring; and we cut away to the ring announcer.
"Ladies and Gentlemen; it's now time for the Main Event of the Evening. A Tornado Tag Contest, without a time limit, Best Two out of the Three Falls, each fall is won by pinning or submitting Both opponents inside the MUUUUD PIIIIIT!!!" To clarify, falls only count in the ring. First theme to hit is Yankee Rose, this qualifying as a Big Match, Dixie opts for the original David Lee Roth version.
"Introducing first, in the Red Corner, the team of the Three Count Cowgirl, DIIIIIXIIIEE CLEEEMEEENNTSS!!! And her partner, the Taskmaster, MISS MURIEL SPEEEEENCCEEERRR!!!"
A rather bashful looking Miss Spencer leads out her partner from the stilted beach-house that passes for a locker room in this arena. Dixie follows her out with the full pageantry that tends to accompany her entrances: the dancing, the pyro and of course, the hat. This last item is cast off into the crowd by a lucky fan by the name of Candy Cane. Upon catching it, she tears it in half, hops the fence, tears it some more, and grinds it under her bare foot [heels being a little too impractical for mud matches.] It's an impressive enough display, but it's only real purpose seems to be to draw Dixie's ire away from Reiko. Speaking of which, Reiko too seems to want to crash the party, having raided Miss Spencer's closet, for a toy better associated with her alter ego: a riding crop. As the teacher moves towards her delinquent student, the Rowdy One gives her a playful flick on the backside.
While something of a slapping contest begins between Candy and Dixie, Miss Spencer wonders aloud why there's another girl not in school. Her surprise grows to shock as Reiko strikes her thigh with a little more venom this time. "Did you not even learn the basics of Wrestling?" she asks. The only response she gets is another whipping. This time, however, she catches the crop, throws it aside [Mistress, she ain't,] and sets about the Cobra Queen with something of a wrestling lesson on the ring-side sand. Wrist-lock, Hammerlock, Headlock and a Sleeper to finish. Reiko tries to counter this last one with the old chin-breaker drop counter, but Muriel wasn't born yesterday and lets her drop. With her opponent on the floor, Spencer lifts her up and over with a reverse suplex! The crowd at the beach approve. What they don't seem to approve quite so much of is Candy banging Dixie's head off the wooden security fence. Never fear, the Taskmaster is on hand to bail her out. At least, that's the plan. Candy senses something is amiss, and swings around to see her teacher sizing her up. "Miss Welsh! What is that you're wearing?"
"What's that you're wearing? Totally unsuitable for an educator." Candy sneers back, adding a slap to the jeering insult. "Reveals far too much of yourself for such an esteemed public figure." A stiff prod to the sternum follows this mockery. Candy continues in this vein, unaware that Dixie wasn't knocked as loopy as she originally thought. She mistakes Miss Spencer's silence for meek acceptance of the insult. Dixie hammers Candy with a forearm to the kidney, which sends her forward into Teach's Bearhug!
With her ribcage caught between her teacher's arms and breasts, Candy struggles against the hold. First, she tries to pull Miss Spencer's head by her tightly bound hair; but this plan of attack is stopped by Dixie's forearm to the back once more. She tries again to force a break by smothering Spencer inside her plaid covered cleavage. One final elbow puts paid to her resistance, and from there, all of Candy's efforts are devoted to simply surviving the crushing on her torso.
"Y'all think you ready to play with the big girls, darling?" With a playful spank of her own, Dixie sends Candy on her way, carried into the square pool of mud by Miss Spencer, so that she looks back at the life-guard stand in the corner, and can see Dixie climb the ladder. Teach hangs her over her lap, so that she's parallel to the surface, staring up at the setting sun; until a flying cowgirl blots it out with her legs spread, and crashes down; pelvis pressing her nose against her bottom lip, thighs covering her eyes; her firm buttocks pressing together her cheeks, and as Miss Spencer tucks Candy's legs under the crook of Dixie's arms, oblivion descends for three seconds.
The mud is not so deep that when Dixie stands up, it covers Candy's face completely. With the pressure released, and the knowledge that she's dropped the first fall, she sprawls out in the cold gunk, and lets it surround her, rise up between her thighs and cool her down. The momentary thrill from Dixie crushing her, rocking slightly back and forth on her face as the referee counted, fades away, leaving her alone with the pain in her ribs; as the crowd hungrily roar, although Candy herself is oblivious.
The match however continues, and Reiko has finally shaken off that inverted suplex to the floor at ringside [which somehow seems to be harder than inside the mud;] has finally dusted the sand off, and finally started jawing at the fans. She apparently knows that Candy's been put down for this fall, but she can't resist flipping the bird to one more fan before she goes off to avenge her. This last action takes a little more time than she actually has, and the faces already have turned their attention to her; Dixie arriving on the scene first. Miss Spencer still seems a little uncomfortable with the mud, despite only have had to walk through it so far. Miss Clements hardly seems bothered at all, instead seeming to relish the chance to shove Reiko's words down her throat. This desire hasn't clouded her focus any; as she blocks a wild swing, and tags her with a rather stern slap, followed by an Irish Whip, into Miss Spencer, who neatly sidesteps her, lifts the Rebel up onto her shoulder with her legs in the air, as if for a backdrop suplex. Before actually completing the move, Miss Spencer takes her over to the lip of the pool, and drops Reiko tailbone first across her knee before forcing her to sit down in the mud. The Queen of the Cobras is held there, upright in the mud, by Muriel stepping over, sitting on her shoulders and scissoring her neck with her thighs after tying up her hands.
Dixie squats down in the muck, and splashes some of it over her pert bum, screaming out to Reiko "How to you like my saggy old ass now?!" And the trapped delinquent, along with just about everyone else can see there this is going. Smirking, Dixie turns around, and sits down on Reiko's face! With her neck constricted by Spencer's thighs, and her nose brushing against Dixie's coccyx and pinched tight by her cheeks, leaving her face completely smothered. Within a few seconds, there are a few weak splashes by Reiko's foot, which the referee correctly interprets as a tap out.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the winners of the First Fall... Miss Spencer, and Dixie Clements!!!"
After the announcement, and the bell; Dixie takes a moment to literally rub it in, before both her and her partner go back to their corner. On the way, Dixie swipes a Cow patterned towel [Genuine Dixie Merch!] and uses it to wipe off her butt, before handing it back with a smile. On the other side, Candy had tried to make the save, but slipped and fell on her face, completely plastering herself in the mud. Their route back to their corner is a lot slower, and a lot less fun for them. By the time they sit down, and clean off their faces, their opponents are completely clean and ready to go. Granted, Teach only had to wash her feet, and Dixie only had a cursory wipe, but still. The bell rings to start the second fall, and Candy's hair is barely visible.
Still, the 90 or so second rest [officially 60, but no-one's actually counting] seems to benefit the heels more than the faces. While they didn't quite manage to get clean, the time spent getting their collective breath back was well spent. Meanwhile, across the ring, Miss Spencer is still a little anxious about the mud, and Dixie is a little busy playing to the crowd. All in all, it seems to have killed their momentum. The bell rings once more, but apart from Candy and Reiko getting to their feet and starting to formulate themselves a plan, nothing much happens immediately. This too, works to their benefit. Miss S warily circles the ring, taking her time to work out her own gameplan; as Dixie carries on clapping hands with the fans, and even stopping for a few pictures. The heels too split up, Reiko going one way to stalk the oblivious Dixie and a more upright Candy rounds on her teacher. Miss S isn't sure whether she should be aghast at this brazen display, or worried about what it means for her. In the end, she manages both emotions, but all she manage to say is "Miss Welsh!" who fakes some outrage at her own appearance at the mention of her name.
On the other side, Rowdy Reiko has her riding crop back in hand, and is doing a good job of sticking in Dixie's blind spot, inching ever closer, before getting close enough to shove her over the rail, holding the cowgirl in place with her free hand for a proper spanking! With each crack of the crop against her backside, Dixie yelps, and begs her to stop. Reiko puts this one to the crowd: should she stop? On the one hand, the wrong girl has the whip in her hand, but a spanking is a spanking. Collectively, the audience bray for more. Reiko obliges by flexing the crop, and lashing the squirming butt before her some more. As the fold of leather snaps down, Dixie's agonised wiggling and yelping grows with the redness on her cheeks; which only serves to excite Reiko more. She pauses to stop her spangled bikini panties riding up the crack of her own ass; giving Dixie enough chance to tumble over the rail, but Reiko still manages to send her on her way with one more whip.
As Dixie, now blushing front and back rolls on the floor, back to Candy and her teacher; who have been trading barbed words back and forth, before tentatively locking their fingers together. Candy pulls back so that the educator stumbles forward, then ducks behind her back, trips her by the ankles, and deftly removes her hot-pants! As mentioned before, Miss Spencer had those on over a Dixie-style string-laced thong. She rolls over to see Candy waving them in her face, it's now time for a time honoured playground game of Keep-away. Of course, Miss Spencer can't get her shorts back, held in the air, behind Candy's back, up, down everywhere. Before Miss Spencer comes to blows, Candy tosses them aside, grabs Muriel's head, and pulls her face into a muddy cleavage; a dirty standing breast smother, if you will.
Shocked and appalled, Miss Spencer shoves Candy off; but as Candy steps back, she whips off Miss S' cropped t-shirt, leaving her stripped down to her revealing bathing suit with mud on her face. Miss Spencer's humiliation is visible on her face, even under the mess. Life is about to get worse before it gets any better, as she finds herself the recipient of an Irish Whip in the direction of the ring, where Reiko is calling for her partner to finish it. Miss S runs into an elbow to the stomach, doubling her over. Candy skips across, and the two step over one of Miss Spencer's arms each, rolling her onto her back into a double cross armbreaker, using their feet and calves to spread the teacher's legs in the air. Spread-eagled in the pit, painfully aware of the spectacle she's making, Miss S can only rock back and forth an inch or so on her back, shake her head, and scream out; adamant that she won't submit. Funnily enough, it doesn't come to that, the count of three comes before that can happen, leaving her in exactly the same position that her student found herself in moments ago. This time, however, there's no sense of a thrill, only pure embarrassment.
Leaving Spencer where she lies, Candy and Reiko turn their attention back to Dixie; who has finally brought herself back to ringside, still gingerly rubbing her bum. Candy skips over to her first, as Reiko goes back for the riding crop. A double underhook for Dixie, and Candy drags her back into the ring, grateful for the opportunity to drop her face first into the mud with a Double Arm DDT, rolling back up into a Butterfly Lock, then shifting Dixie's legs open as she call for, and cinches in, the Refresher! Quickly, Reiko reappears and [taking care to not inadvertently pin her own partner as she does this,] squats over Dixie's face as she rails against the hold; adding the occasional lash to the insides of the cowgirl's thighs. With no way to tap, Dixie squeals her submission.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the winners of the Second Fall... Rowdy Reiko and Candy Cane!!!"
Sending Dixie on her way with a kick, the heels take a moment to celebrate their win on the way back to their corner, as Miss Spencer crawls towards Dixie in the centre, taking care to keep her legs firmly pressed together, as they meet in the middle of the ring, and help each other back across the other side.
Two minutes of R&R later, [again, no-one was properly timing the minute,] and they're at it again for the third fall. This time, mindful of how quick they themselves stormed out of the gates at the top of the second fall; Candy and Reiko take it a little easier, and after cleaning their upper bodies off; wade out towards the centre of the ring. The two faces have done a bit better job cleaning themselves up, and they too are a little way on the restart; taking their time, and not rising to the bait thrown out by the two punks in the middle of the 'ring.' In fact, it's they who are soon baited by the teacher and the cowgirl; and of course it goes badly for them. Candy runs right into the Mason-Dixie Line, a vicious Lariat which takes her out.
As she leaps up for a forearm, Reiko quite clearly doesn't expect Miss Spencer to step straight into her rush, and catch her in a bearhug that was the precursor to the move which finished Candy off for the First Fall [anyone who has a snappy name for that one, I'm open to suggestions. Mason-Dixie Line is the limit of my move-naming skill;] crunching Reiko's ribs in her, well, bear-like grip. A now more serious Dixie comes over to add her two cents in the form of a few of those jarring forearms to the kidneys which finally put paid to any resistance that the Rowdy One might have been attempting. She points over to the corner, and gets a cheer, as she calls for her part of the move. Miss Spencer's part of it has her holding Rowdy Reiko out over the surface of the mud, waiting for Dixie to fly over her...
Seconds pass, and Dixie's flying seated senton is not forthcoming. As Miss Spencer inches round to turn her head to investigate the situation; and the situation is thus: Candy Cane, blasted from the Dixie Line at the edge of the pit, recovers her senses enough to drag herself up the tower's ladder; and despite the hammering she's forced to absorb, she still manages to throw Dixie over the side, before showing her middle finger to her teacher. Again, Miss Spencer doesn't seem to have learnt her lesson about being distracted by Candy's poor behaviour; and Rowdy Reiko's one arm finds her way over one shoulder; the other under the other; locking on a Hanging Arm Triangle Choke; hanging because of the mud-slicked legs scissored around Spencer's waist. Muriel's legs buckle under the pressure; not helped by Reiko trying to make it even harder to breathe with a frankly gratuitous kiss; shocking the all-too virtuous Spencer even further as the darkness descends.
Slowly tipping forward until completely doubled over but still barely up on her feet; Miss Spencer finds herself with bum wiggling in the air, just beckoning Miss Welsh over, having disappeared momentarily to fetch the riding crop. All it takes is one crack of the whip to tip Miss Spencer forward onto all fours, still trying to fend Reiko off; and as the lashes begin to rain down; unable to take the vice around her solar plexus, the arms around a throat; tongue violating her mouth, and this latest embarrassment is just insult to injury; and choking back the tears, she's forced to tap out.
"Miss Spencer has been Eliminated!!!"
However, Candy didn't do quite as good a job of tipping Dixie off the top of the Beach Tower as she had originally thought. Still clinging on to the side, she swings around, and steps down the ladder, to where the two delinquents are humiliating Miss Spencer far more than they need to. In the classic style, neither notice the Three Count Cowgirl sneak up behind them. However, without Sugar Shane around to back her up [anyone get that?] Dixie has to do it herself. First up: Candy Cane.
In a flash, Dixie wraps her arms around Candy's waist and rolls back through her legs into a reverse cradle; for the second time in the match, sitting down on the poor girl's face. The tongue poking through her mouth, lapping warm through the cool mud on the front of Dixie's thong would suggest that she perhaps doesn't mind so much. The thrilled shiver racing up Dixie's back as she feels this would suggest that perhaps she doesn't mind too much either. Closing her eyes, the blonde on top shifts forward over Candy's mou-
"Candy Cane has been Eliminated!!!"
For those of you forgetting, this is a wrestling match. A slightly dirty one, perhaps in more than one sense of the word, but still a match, and for the second time, Candy has been pinned for the count of three under Dixie. Both shocked and blushing the two fix each other with a gaze; and that is a mistake for Dixie. Rowdy Reiko shoves Dixie's head between her already dirty thighs; spreading mud on the side of her face. Next – of course - she hauls her up, splits her legs and takes this opportunity to pose for any cameras at ringside in this revealing pre-piledriver position; milking the moment, before finally sitting down, driving Dixie headfirst, completing the job she started seconds ago, splattering Dixie's head in the muck. The lackadaisical cover with the bare foot...
Gets Two and a Half! Dixie rolls a shoulder out of the pit, and the match continues; Reiko being astonished that Dixie kicked out, in spite of how much she half-assed the cover. She's surprised all the way to the ground, as Dixie wastes no time trying to get back into the match with a Dragon Screw, stepping over for the Sharpshooter! Reiko fights the turn, and when Dixie turns her mud-splattered gaze to the blazing red locks shining through an equally thick layer of slime, she's given pause. A blink later and Dixie's rolled back into the mud for a Small Package!
Once more, Dixie kicks out, and before Reiko can call Candy over to help, Candy Cane finds Teach's arm between her legs rolling her up in to the School-girl; folding her legs and arms up into the Teacher's Pet! With her teacher sitting on her tail-bone, it's enough of a fight for Candy to keep her mouth above the surface of the mud, let alone help. Thankfully, her ears are under the surface, so she doesn't have to listen to the lecture from Miss Spencer about Modesty.
Meanwhile, irate that she still hasn't finished off Dixie yet, Rowdy Reiko yanks Dixie's arms into a cross for her own H-Move, the Grim Reaper! Ironically enough, this ends up with Reiko having the metaphorical egg on her face, as she can't find a grip, and just slides onto her back. Dixie's right on top, ready for the Boston Crab, but instead she steps over her shoulders, and bridges back, pushing Reiko's backside up with her own hips, and crushing her ribs with her thighs: she calls that one the Double Bridge!
"Ladies and Gentlemen; Rowdy Reiko has been Eliminated; thus, your winners, Miss Spencer and Dixie Clements!!!"
Now oblivious to the state they're in; the two faces hug in the middle of the pit, bouncing ecstatically; leaving the two defeated heels to smoulder, and slither out through the mud in their own good time. Before leaving the arena themselves; Miss Spencer, and especially Dixie take the time to go round the ringside, high-fiving everyone with their muddy hands, and even messing up a few white t-shirts along the way.
***Author's Note: Those of you who've had enough patience to read this far, may have noticed I've taken some liberties with moves. Meh. I just did this because I figured there weren't enough matches in the Rumble Roses section, so I figured I'd oblige. As the title suggests, these are just intended to be random 'dream' matches. Maybe there'll turn out to be some continuity between them, I don't know right now. This one gets a little steamy in places, but it's possible that any others won't be like that, again, I don't really know. I might be open to requests, so feel free to send them my way, and I'll see what I can do. Cheers for reading.***