AN:// I'm revising the story and am not sure where exactly I shall be taking it. It was written quite some time back before I was forced to take an extended leave of absence from the world of fiction. This may be an improvement, it may be utter crap but regardless I feel as if I owe it to myself and others to dust off this story and hopefully improve it in addition to finishing it up. I'll be taking down the chapters and re-writing them a bit every day so that I can get things put back up.

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed 3 you're wonderful ;D By the way, this is non-canon. OOC characters are coming out of every corner. I love the series dearly, but feel that to incorporate all the drastic changes would be too much for this story right now. So be warned.

Warnings: AU in ways, OOC characters, Yaoi aka Slashy relations (Don't like, don't read), semi-graphic content, disturbing imagery, rape, abuse, depressing content, suicidal content, manipulation, death, and an overall dark angsty fic that may possibly hold a love story in it at some point. (Too rushed the first time around) Seriously I may add more warnings as the story goes on but this is it for the moment.

Chapter 1: Where our story begins

The feeling of dread was gnawing away at his stomach and the closer he got to his, "home sweet home" the more intense the gnawing seemed to get.

Draco's fifth year had just ended and instead of celebrating getting through another year all he could do was curl up in a ball while trying desperately to stop the shaking. He dreaded the end of the school year despite proclaiming his joy for it every year in front of his peers. Summer's meant only one thing to Draco, and it sure wasn't the freedom that most would associate it with.

Draco stared out of the carriage as the lighting outside grew dimmer. The repetitive rolling hills seemed to sooth his mind somewhat and gave him a sense of fleeting peace. It wouldn't last long, but he wanted to make the most of his few moments of freedom before they were gone again. Just the same as the year before and it would be the same again next year.

Sighing heavily he flopped back onto the cushioned seat and closed his eyes. Lightly biting his lip he tried to let his mind wander a bit back to school escapades and times spent with his godfather. Nothing seemed to be helping though since all his mind could concentrate on was the overwhelming sense of impending doom and misery that lay ahead.

'Why does it have to be this way? Why can't there just be one year where I don't have to fear going back to this place?' Now leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, Draco shakily took in a few shallow breaths while rubbing his hands over his face. 'Maybe this time will be different…' Draco snorted aloud, '…and maybe he'll also start serving me tea and cookies. No need to delude yourself there Draco, it'll just lead to more pain down the line.'

The carriage began to slow down and Draco warily looked out the window. Off in the distance he could make out the outline of a very prestigious mansion. Which while pristine and beautiful to any outsider who gazed upon it, happened to appear very dark and dingy to him.

Sitting up straight now, Draco took a few deep breaths and placed on a mask of being emotionless and utterly subservient. It wouldn't do for the old man to find any other reasons to punish him. After all, it seemed that being alive was simply enough.

The carriage pulled to a complete stop and Draco exited quickly. 'The more I make him wait the worse off I'll be…' He strode to the door, leaving his baggage to be taken care of by the house elves, and made his way down the halls to his father's study.

Gazing at the ornate door he began to breathe at a quicker and shallower pace. 'Oh god, oh god, oh god…get a hold of yourself Draco, you've survived thus far and you know that if you don't compose yourself as a Malfoy that things will be much more difficult.'

Closing his eyes and taking a breath he re-composed himself again. Then with a quick flick of the wrist he knocked steadily on the door. A gruff voice full of impatience rang out, "This had better be a matter of utmost importance!" Draco took that as his cue and slowly opened the door open before slipping in.

Lucius Malfoy sat behind his desk going through various documents; a frown lay heavily on his face. As the door creaked he turned his head up to see who would dare to interrupt him at such a time. When he saw that it was his dear, sweet boy the frown slowly etched itself into a mocking smirk.

"Draco," he drawled out, "My one and only son, who carries such a very proud legacy within in his blood. My son, who was trained by the very best and given the very best in life. And yet…The son who somehow keeps failing time and time again to defeat a mangy mutt of a student by the name of Harry Potter." Lucius' eyes went flinty with this last statement as his mouth settled into a vicious curling sneer.

Draco paled and hung his head down; eye contact would be foolish at this point and he didn't want to make the situation worse. 'He's already in a foul mood; maybe if I play don't say too much it won't be so bad?'

Lucius stood up before stalking over to his son. A loud crack filled the air and Draco found himself falling to the cold, unforgiving floor below. Lucius grabbed the front of Draco's school robes and lifted him up, "Do you have anything to say in your defense Draco? Or are you simply too stupid to even attempt that?!" His face had gone red in rage by now and Draco let out a small whimpering reply "I..I don't know why…." Lucius cut him off. "You don't know why! You don't know why what?! Why you're such a failure?! Why you're such a waste of space?! Why you're even allowed to still breathe at this point?! Hmm?!" he then threw Draco onto his desk. Papers and quills flew in all directions and Draco cry out in pain as a sharp paperweight partially inserted itself into his skin. Blood began to spread across the plains of the desk.

Lucius stormed over and sneered at the sight of his son. "So pathetic. All you're good for in life is to lick the boots of those who are better than you. How you share Malfoy blood is beyond me at points. If you didn't share so much of the Malfoy look I'd swear that your whore of a mother cheated on me all those years ago."

Draco bit his lip to keep from whimpering out in pain. To show pain would be to show weakness and at this moment all that would accomplish would be bring about more pain. 'Stay calm Draco, if you can get through this welcome home beating you'll be able to patch yourself up later.'

As Lucius gazed over his handiwork he noticed the dark red puddle that had formed underneath his son. A pleased smile graced his face. "Oh Draco, I do love it when you bleed." He stepped forward and caressed the side of his son's face. "It's just such a lovely look on you." Draco flinched slightly. Lucius' tone took on a more malevolent, lustful twist, "Though this is just such a sad amount. Not nearly enough to really make you look anywhere near beautiful."

Draco's eyes widened, 'Fuckfuckfuckfuck! Not today please! Why today? Why does it have to be the first day I'm back? 'As he was picked up he couldn't help but let out a whimper of fear and anguish. 'Why can't I just bleed out? Wouldn't a beating be sufficient enough to quell his thirst?!' His thoughts were racing and full of pleading and begging that he wouldn't be in for a "special treat" from his father. He let his mind wander over past sessions.

To put it lightly, his father was a truly sadistic man and had several ways of torturing his only son and heir. The first way was through emotional torture. Spewing hateful words and constantly finding fault with anything Draco did. He could handle that, it hurt yes, but at least it didn't leave him bloody and in a mess for weeks on end.

The second way was through physical torture. This could include anything from whippings to Canings to being tossed around or having random curses thrown at him. Essentially anything that left him bloody and pleading for an end was including in these sessions.

The third way, and the most horrible in Draco's opinion, was any session that included both emotional and physical torture. To even think of what his father had done to him throughout the years made him violently ill at points. His…father would berate him and proceed to beat him black, bloody and blue before turning on a perverse charm. He would then poison the air with pretty words of a lustful nature, building Draco up with a false ego while also condemning his mind to everlasting torment. All the while he would be taking his pleasure from Draco's body, only caring about sating his desires. Then he would toss Draco aside like a contaminated whore.

Draco was brought back out of his thoughts when his father slapped his face harshly. "I asked you a question Draco!" Lucius' black eyes glittered cruelly. "I'll ask you again seeing as I'm feeling a bit generous today, but if I have to ask again you won't like the consequences. Do you understand?"

Draco gulped and nodded.

Lucius smirked, "Good boy Draco. Now, what I asked was if you would prefer to spend some quality time with Daddy today. Or if you would rather spend time working on your schoolwork. Know that you should really consider you choices carefully my dear sweet son. After all, I'd hate to be disappointed." The last part was drawled out in an amused fashion, as if it were part of a joke that only a select few were privileged to.

Draco's head tilted down slightly in resignation. He knew that despite being given a choice that the only answer was to spend time with his…father. Tears formed lightly behind his eyes. 'A choice…ha! The only choice I have is to give in to his whim less I find myself treated even more harshly before giving into his perversions.' "Of course I want to spend time with you Daddy." In a sweet even tone, he allowed the words to leave his mouth before he could over think the situation. Hesitating would only serve to make the experience more painful, and showing that he didn't want it had almost lead to his death the last time.

A full blown smile appeared on Lucius' face as his eyes took on an even more lustful gleam. "Such a good, obedient boy. I knew that you would choose the correct answer my sweet one. "He picked Draco up off of the desk, and harshly pulled the paperweight out from his back. Draco let out a stifled cry which only served to increase the look of dark satisfaction on his father's face. "Now, I want you to show off your body for Daddy."

Draco bit his lip to reign in the tears. 'I may not be able to be free from him, but I'll be damned if he ever gets the satisfaction of making me cry right now.' Slowly stripping himself of his school garments he kept his gaze to the floor. Not being able to stand looking at what he knew would be a gaze full of lust. When he had reached just his boxers he found himself being pushed back into the desk. A startled gasp escaped his lips as his father grabbed the back of his hair and forced him to look at him directly.

"Such a little slut you are Draco! Teasing Daddy with such a lewd display. I really think that you ought to be punished and shown your place in life again. After all, this is the only thing that you're really ever going to be good for."

The words stung Draco, despite having heard the same thing time and time again it still hurt. 'He's right…I'm nothing really…I don't know why I even bother trying to pretend that I am worth anything. Even if there were a way to escape all of this no one would ever want me…So dirty..so unclean…useless…' The tears that he had been trying so hard to suppress finally came down his cheeks unbidden.

A dark chuckle escaped Lucius, "Such sweet tears my boy. Almost as sweet as seeing you covered in your own blood." He licked at them in a mocking manner. "Perhaps I should give you a better reason to create more of them."

With that Lucius harshly turned Draco around and tore off the remaining boxers, leaving them as scraps of fabric on the floor. He pressed himself flush against Draco's body "Feel that Draco? That's all because of you." Draco started shaking with suppressed fear and anguish. "Already shaking with anticipation my sweet boy? Well, who am I to deny you what you really want?" A twisted smile made its way on to his face and Lucius ran his hands down Draco's body to position his son for the activity ahead.

Draco shut his eyes tightly, and prayed for everything to be over with quickly. He could only hope that his mind would be kind enough to him today and let him wander far, far away from this horrible place.

Soon sounds of sheer terror and heart wrenching pain filled the room, dripping out in to the halls where passing house elves looked down in shame and sadness.