MAGNETIC ATTRACTION
Part One
Standing there at the gates of his lair had been everything she'd have never thought it to be. A quiet warehouse in the industrial district just outside of Bayville; a three story crumbling brick building with heavily barred windows, some were boarded up it seemed from the inside.
Knowing his power over metal, it didn't surprise her and it didn't need to cross her mind that getting through those windows to infiltrate the place would be nigh impossible.
She would have to use the door.
Rogue was almost sure the gate to the loading dock outside of the warehouse would have been locked, but as she pushed it, it creaked loudly and ran an uneasy tingle up her neck at the same time. As she slipped through quietly, she wondered if she was being watched; carefully, she pushed the gate back into place, it clanged loudly regardless, and seemed to echo.
Shouldn't be here, kept running over and over in her mind; a repetitive warning. She supposed it might not be too late to run back. All she had to do was turn, get through that gate, hop in Scott Summer's car (which she had borrowed without permission) and go onto class.
The wind whistled around her, stirring her hair, making her shirt flap around her stomach; the butterflies in her stomach flapped relentlessly too. She tried to deny herself the nerves; it was too late now. She was here, she couldn't just turn back.
As with a lot of abandoned buildings, there was the common debris leftover from companies long since gone out of business; broken glass, pieces of plastic, broken crates and loose pieces of paper. The glass crunched beneath her heavy boots, she heard it grind into the cement with each step.
A soft tinkling crossed with rattling caught her attention, and she glanced uneasily to the ground searching for it's direction; her eye saw the glimmer of a large metal bolt rolling by her, it had came from behind her and was heading towards the warehouse.
Yes. He he was here. And he knew she was here too.
She gulped back a throat full of anxiety and pressed on; no turning back now that he knew of her presence, it was far too late. She'd missed her chance, the boat had sailed, the bird had flown out of the window.
Another rattling sound; this was louder, more aggressive, and she shifted her eyes to her left to see a pile of metal pipes perhaps at least eight or nine feet in length. The pipes were vibrating against each other, it sounded almost dangerously musical. It was a warning, she decided. This was the time to step back.
The pipes shot out quickly, far more quickly than she had anticipated. Ding, ding, ding, one by one, embedded in the cement, surrounding her before she'd had the chance to move away. A cage of solid pipes imprisoned her, she heard the creaking of the metal as they curled over at the top to twist together to stop her from climbing up.
"Damn it!" she yelled frustratedly, she grabbed a pipe in each hand and tried to pry them apart but they were more solid than she would have given them credit for; the way he had bent them at his will made them seem like they might be made of soft soldering iron but it was far from the truth.
His shadow appeared before he did; he had been somewhere in the air and she had not thought to look. She felt foolish...this was not how Logan had taught her to assess danger. Waltzing into an enemy's base camp without even bothering to check the sky or give ample warning wasn't how the X-Men did things.
Especially not when that enemy was Magneto.
Magneto gravitated towards the earth slowly but he did not completely land; his feet dangled so that the toes of his steel-capped boots slightly dragged against the concrete, causing tiny sparks to jump across the dusty grey. "Why are you here?"
"Let me go!" she pleaded of him; she didn't like being trapped in a cage.
"Answer!"
"Ah didn't come to attack!" regardless of her attempt being utterly pointless she still tried desperately to pry the pipes apart.
"You came alone. It was foolish," Magneto stated; his voice was always that eerie tone of calm, verging on monotonous but just shy of a dreary undertone. He removed his helmet; his hair was silvery white, just like the streaks in her own hair that parted the shoulder length chestnut brown.
"Ah didn't come to fight," she said, she had to refrain from yelling this at him, she tried to think of the breathing exercises Ororo Munro had taught her to use at times like these. Poise, calm, concentration. The opposite to Logan's act now, think later berserker tactics.
"Why are you here?" he asked again, his helmet held beneath one arm as he hovered. He stared at her beneath charcoal eyebrows with eyes so cool they were almost like liquid ice; his face was serene but she saw the guardedness just behind his stare.
A slight breath escaped her lips, a shuddering breath that exposed too much of how she really felt about being imprisoned, about being here without anyone knowing. "Ah...Ah need your help..." she swallowed.
"The X-Men need my help?" he sounded almost amused by the concept.
"No...just me. Myself."
His expression became unreadable as he continued to stare at her.
"Ah can't live like this...Ah can't take it any more."
He raised an eyebrow, but only slightly, his face still so incredibly serene it was unsettling. Rogue studied him for another moment, her emotions beginning to catch up with her.
"You made Scott's powers evolve once..." she swallowed a lump in her throat.
He gave something of a vague laugh, "and you think I should do the same for you?"
She chewed the inside of her cheek. "Ah'm eighteen. Ah've never had a normal life...Ah can't touch anyone...Ah can't be with anyone..." she looked down to the ground. "Ah don't want to live the rest of my life knowin' Ah'll never know what it feels like..."
"You cannot be certain that your powers will remain this uncontrollable for the rest of your adult life, Rogue," Magneto admitted.
"You can't be certain of it either," Rogue retorted, "that's why I want this so bad. I know it's the only way...if there were another way don't you think I'd take it?"
It startled her that his eyes seemed to soften as if he actually pitied her. He gazed upon her, his face calm, his lips slightly parted as he contemplated her request. "You must realise what evolving your powers would do to you."
It wasn't a question.
"Ah...Ah know Ah would be different..." she stared at him, trying to contain the sadness within.
"Different is an understatement, Rogue. Your attitude, your emotions, your abilities. Everything would change. Not slightly, but dramatically, and these changes would be irreversible."
"They weren't for Scott."
"What happened on Asteroid M was a series of unforeseen errors; I would not make those errors again."
Rogue scratched her arm absently, the tiny hairs there stood on end, making her goose-pimpled flesh tingle.
"What does Charles think of your plan for this, Rogue? Is he behind this? Does he support your decision?"
Her eyes fell awkwardly to the ground, she had no answer to this; she had not spoken to the Professor, she had never revealed her intentions. For the past few months the thought of even bringing it up had knotted her stomach and left her feeling nauseous.
Magneto gave an incredulous laugh. "Ah, you have not told him, have you?"
Raising her eyes and sucking in a nervous breath she somehow mustered the strength to respond, "Ah didn't feel it necessary."
"Does he not help you with your powers?" Magneto asked, his voice light, his cool eyes never leaving her. "Has he not done all he can do?"
"He spends more time helpin' Jean Grey focus on her powers, helpin' her expand on hers. She's his protege, the most powerful mutant on the team and seein' her 'exceptional potential' lived up to and ensurin' she doesn't lose control of her powers is all he seems to care about these days," Rogue felt tears brimming in her eyes.
"If he is too pre-occupied with helping others, then telling him would not be an issue," Magneto pointed out. "You have not told him about your plans to come here because you are afraid he would advise against it."
"Ah didn't tell him because he would have thought that it was the easy way out, and that's not how we do things in the institute."
"For all Charles' shortcomings, he is a wise soul. I do not doubt that his opinion on this would be more than correct."
Rogue felt tears sting her eyes; she'd tried to put on the brave face but it was quickly falling, her walls of strength were crumbling and she was afraid her weakness was showing.
"Crocodile tears?" Magneto asked, his face seemed to tighten.
She tried to blink the tears away but one escaped and she felt it tickle her left cheek as it slid from her eye to meet with her jaw. "You don't know what this is like. Bein' caged all the time. Havin' to cover up in hot weather...havin' to keep everyone at an arms length..." she swept her sleeve clumsily against her face and sniffed. "If Ah wait 'til my powers mutate naturally...Ah could wait 'til I'm forty...or fifty. By then it's too late...Mutants rarely live past their late thirties and you know that."
His eyes hazed for a moment as he listened to her, he stared into space, his lips pursed tightly. After she'd finished, he sighed, "You don't know what it is you ask of me, Rogue."
"Ah do. Ah've thought this through. Ah've went over every possibility and Ah don't care if Ah lose most of myself...Ah'm barely livin' anyway. Ah can't wait the rest of my life on the off chance that some day things might work out. Ah just want to be normal."
"That's why your plans bother me so," Magneto let himself finally land upon the floor; he swept an arm across the air and the bars of her makeshift cage bent so that a space large enough for her to step through had formed. He stood there, watching her, waiting for her to leave it.
She didn't move.
"You don't want to evolve, Rogue. You want to devolve. What you want is to be human, and that is something I cannot give. Even if I did have the capacity to do so, I would not give you what you seek. We are superior, and opting to be inferior to simply fit in goes against everything that nature has done for us. Nature did not evolve us so that we could simply go back to being human. We do not evolve to simply become cavemen again!"
Rogue sniffled, she felt foolish for having used the word 'normal' at all. It'd been a mistake, it may have just cost her everything. Still, she pressed on, hoping that he'd find something to pity. She didn't care how pathetic this was making her now. "Ah don't want to be human. There's nothin' out there for me in the human world. I just want control, and...a chance to feel somethin' other than...trapped."
Magneto was quiet again, thinking. After a moment, he tilted his head, "Tell me, Rogue, what would you do, if you were evolved?"
'If' was a pretty strong word, she thought. What would she do? It hadn't really occurred to her, because in all honesty she had come here already knowing deep inside he would refuse her plea. In all her sleepless nights of wondering if she should come, in hoping he would help her but secretly knowing he never would, it had never once dawned on her that there needed to be a certain amount of planning if her plea did bring success.
Where would she go? What could she do? With that much power, could she indeed wield and control it without becoming driven by it? Would she be able to live normally or would she be determined to rule the world as Magneto had been? So many questions came suddenly flooding to her and she felt her stomach knot with unease.
"These are questions you should have pondered before your requests."
She held onto the loose bars of her cage to steady herself, "part of me knew you never would agree to help me..." she admitted.
"But part of you hoped I would," he responded softly, his voice delicate, barely a gust of wind in the cool air.
"Ah would join you," she stated, trying to remain calm. This had always occurred to her. No one in life did anything for free anymore, and Magneto would certainly want something in return for this kind of a service. She supposed servitude would be a small price to pay if he could do for her what she hoped he could.
"Desperation," said Magneto woefully, "Desperation is something you should never allow to speak for you. It clouds judgement and weighs an unbalanced mind towards the wrong direction."
Rogue chewed her lip and uneasily gazed upon the man who could possibly give her the life she wanted, if only he would see fit to do so.
"You would hand yourself over to my whim. Do you even realise how dangerous you could truly be under the command of the wrong person, Rogue?" he asked lightly.
A shuddering breath, Rogue replied only, "of course...but...you told the Professor you'd changed. That you're on our side. Does it matter whose side I'm on? If it's yours or the X-Men. You help me, Ah'll fight on your side...Ah'll do whatever you ask me to do, and Ah won't argue it..."
"Jean Grey may be powerful given her telepathic and telekinetic abilities, I admit," Magneto explained, he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, then gestured towards her, "but you...you are exceptional...you can be anything, do anything, take anything you want..." he pointed out. "Has experience not taught you how truly deadly you could be?"
Depression settled deep within her to hear these words, words she'd known since the realization of what her powers could do and how they affected those around her. She was aware of all the things Magneto was saying. Rogue remained silent, holding her emotions in desperately.
"And you would give one of potentially the most dangerous living weapons on this Earth...all for the desire to feel normal."
"Just one night of bein' normal would be worth the sacrifice," she admitted, her eyes still blurry with tears.
"This sacrifice is not noble...it is desperate and selfish," Magneto grumbled.
"There is no one else to think about but myself," Rogue swallowed back a lump in her throat, "who else do Ah have?!"
"Speak to Charles," Magneto decided, he sounded intrigued with the whole idea now, he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Discuss the idea with him. I'd be interested on what his response would be."
"But you know he won't agree."
"Would you let it stop you if he did?"
She drew her breath through her teeth. No. She wouldn't let that stop her. She wanted to be able to control her powers so badly that she wouldn't let anything stop her.
"I need to know how serious you are about your request. Indulge me, Rogue. Go back to your Professor and advise him of your intentions. Return here when you have discussed the matter and have had a chance to truly consider what it is you ask of me."
"And will you help me then?" she asked hopefully.
"I will wait. If you return, we can discuss where to go from there."
Rogue stepped out of her makeshift prison, "fine. Ah'll tell him what Ah plan. And Ah'll be back. You can count on it."
The mansion was its usual noisy self when Rogue arrived home; she said not a word to any of her fellow students at the institute as she crossed the foyer to reach the stairs. Two of the younger students were fighting over a Dubstep CD; Jean Grey was trying to mediate between the two, while a few other students were standing watching the commotion. The volume from a television in the direction of the rec room was blaring, and Rogue could hear the theme tune from a popular sitcom.
Just as Rogue approached the stairs, Kurt Wagner appeared from the kitchen doorway, a plate, a bag of chips, and a large glass of ice and cola balanced in his furry arms. "Rogue," he said cheerily, spotting her at once.
She stopped on the first step, sighing inwardly and turning to look at him, "hey," she said quietly. Her eyes fell on Scott Summers who had followed him out; Scott was chewing on a cookie, and with a mouthful of it, he said "hey, did you take my car?"
Rogue chewed the inside of her cheek; she reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out the keys, "yeah, Ah'm sorry, Ah was late for class...and Ah didn't have time to wait for the bus. Ah knew you were catchin' a ride with Jean...Ah didn't think you'd mind..." she tossed the keys towards him.
Scott caught the keys in his free hand, "that's weird. I thought you'd skipped today."
"Huh?" Rogue asked, she'd taken two more steps but stopped again, she glanced over the rail at him, her heart skipping a little. How did he know she'd skipped? Had he gone into her class to look for her?
"Me and Jean hung around to see if you needed a ride home...you never showed. We even went and stood outside the building your class is in..." Scott explained.
Jean turned to glance at Rogue, even the arguing between Bobby and Amara over the CD died out pretty quickly.
"Ah left early," Rogue lied. "Ah had cramps," she stated, knowing he wasn't about to press the subject any further at the mention of such things.
"Oh," said Scott, looking red in the face.
"Do Ah always need to explain myself to you?" Rogue asked irritably, "Your car is fine, Ah didn't put any dings in it. Ah even put gas in it, so lighten up..." she shook her head at him as she climbed the rest of the stairs, trying to refrain from stomping. She hoped her lie was enough to put him off asking any more questions. She couldn't deny she felt incredibly guilty that she'd snapped, but in this case, it'd been the easiest way to avoid the truth.
What would Scott think if he knew where Ah really was? Rogue thought as she entered her bedroom, she immediately locked the door behind herself and dropped her bag on the floor by the bed. She gathered he'd be upset, and it would probably be quite warranted she supposed. The idea of her joining Magneto just in the hopes of receiving help with her powers wouldn't have sat well with Scott, especially not after what Magneto had done to him and his younger brother some time ago on Asteroid M.
Rogue sat on the bottom of the bed and put her head in her hands. Her head was still swimming with the conversation she'd shared with Magneto; the possibility that he might help her, his insistence that she at least speak with Professor Xavier before she truly decide what she wants to do.
She wasn't sure how to broach the subject with the Professor. What could she start with? How was it going to sound that she'd went to see the man behind the Professor's back, without anyone going with her? Anything could have happened, she could have become a prisoner, she could have been hurt. She was sure whatever she said would end up in a lecture and a long discussion resulting in him talking her out of her plans.
Maybe Ah should just forget it, Rogue thought dully as she swept her hair from her face. She rubbed her head, her temples throbbing with the strain of the decisions and consequences.
"What's up with you?"
She jumped a little, and looked up; she'd forgotten momentarily that despite she'd locked the door, her room-mate Kitty Pryde was able to walk in and out with her powers of being able to phase effectively through solid objects like doors and walls.
"Jesus, don't you knock?"
"In my own room?" Kitty gave something of a nervous laugh. "What's wrong? You look pale...well...paler than usual."
"Ah'm just tired..." she glanced up at Kitty who was crossing the room to reach the dresser; the girl was wearing a smart white blouse, black pants and stiletto boots. Her hair was loose and wavy, and her eyes were dusted in grey. She looked far more sophisticated than her usual capri pants and pink sweater generally allowed for. "Are you goin' somewhere?"
"Out with Lance," said Kitty in a coo.
"Oh. So he's back then?" Rogue asked, not really interested in discussing the situation at all but making polite conversation to simply change the subject from her own troubles. "Ah thought he'd joined some other team up in god-knows wherever."
"He didn't like it there. He's back with Magneto's crew. He's talking about going back to school...and getting his GED. He wants to, like, get his life together and stuff."
"Sounds like he has a plan," said Rogue, thinking that it would be very unlikely Lance Alvers could ever stick to such a straight laced strategy. She watched Kitty brushing on some lipgloss. Judging by how nice the girl was making her face up, she too had a plan for this evening. "You know where the Professor is right now?" Rogue asked as she stood up.
"Uhm..." Kitty paused, "Last I saw him, he was in the control annex for the danger room...he's coding some new training programs. He thinks the current ones we have are getting, like, too predictable or whatever."
"Thanks..." Rogue stood up, "I'll uhm...I..." she hovered at the door, wondering if perhaps she should say goodbye to the girl now, since if all went to plan, she would be leaving tonight, and probably before Kitty would get back from her date. Would they ever be in the same room again? Would they ever hang out again?
It's not like we were ever really friends to begin with, Rogue thought sullenly.
"Something wrong?" Kitty asked, examining Rogue's reflection in the mirror as she brushed on a little mascara.
"No," Rogue shook her head softly. She opted to not say anything; Kitty would try to talk her out of it and she'd already made up her mind. Ah don't need the time wasted arguing about this, Ah know what Ah have to do, Rogue thought. "Have a nice time," she said to Kitty, regarding the date, she smiled wanly.
"Thanks. See you later."
Probably not, thought Rogue as she left the room.
As she made her way through the winding halls of the mansion, Rogue tried to rehearse what she could say to the man. It didn't matter how she tried to word it, it was going to sound awful, and selfish, and self important. The equivalent of saying 'thanks for everything, thanks for the two years of room and board, for the extensive training, for the free food, the free allowance, the free education. But yeah, now I'm going to go join your enemy – his deal is better'.
He wasn't going to like it no matter how she came out with it; no doubt he'd be angry she went alone, and no doubt he'd be hurt that she was unsatisfied with how little he'd been able to help her. The guilt ate at her as she stood in the elevator, listening to the hum of it moving down; it gnawed at her gut like a thousand hungry rats and continued to do so as she walked down the hall, listening to the sound of her heavy boots against the metal floor.
Charles Xavier was in the control annex for the Danger Room, just as Kitty had suggested. He was typing with one hand and holding a cup of coffee in the other, whilst simultaneously reading from a list of codes that was perched on the console.
Rogue hovered for a moment at the door, watching him. She thought it was a shame it had come to this. He'd given her so many opportunities and chances. A better education, paid for her college education, and always offered her his friendship and support. But when it came down to it all, she couldn't stick around when the man may never be able to help her. She had to at least try to explore other options. If she didn't, then she'd always be left wondering if perhaps something could have been done.
"Are you going to stand at the door all day, Rogue?" asked the Professor, without looking over his shoulder to see if she was standing there or not.
Unnerved, Rogue drew her breath, "how'd you know Ah was here?" she asked, she hugged herself as she walked slowly over to stand by him.
"I sensed you," he replied.
Rogue wondered if perhaps he could have also read her thoughts. She decided not to broach the subject of that right now. There were more pressing matters. "Are you busy?"
"Not exceptionally," he gestured to the chair beside him as he finished up typing a code in. "I'm just reworking some of these programmes and adding few new ones. I've noticed a few of the younger students here seem to have memorized certain events in the programmes and in anticipation, are breezing through each exercise. I'm coding in some new unpredictable features to throw them off and keep them on their toes. Out there in battle, they won't know what's coming, and they need to always be ready to deal with whatever comes their way," he explained as he typed. He finished up the code, and he turned his chair slightly so that he could face her.
She was still standing there, her breath bated.
"Is something wrong?" he asked at once, she was unsure if he sensed her apprehension, or if he could see it. Either way, he knew that something needed to be said.
Rogue examined his cool blue eyes; they were more piercing than Magneto's, more astute, those eyes could really see through you. She tried not to let this bother her as she sat quietly down and crossed one leg over the other. "Ah've...been thinking lately, that..." she trailed off, she had to take a deep breath to continue, "things just aren't really working out here any more."
"Oh?" asked the Professor, his expression one of immediate concern.
"It's not that Ah don't appreciate everythin' you've done for me here," she explained, "but...it's just...not workin' anymore. Ah've been here for two years now, and Ah'm no closer to understandin' or controllin' my powers than Ah was when Ah first got here."
"I see," said Professor Xavier. "Is there something you feel could be done differently?" he asked.
"No...honestly Ah don't," she stated honestly, "Ah know that you don't really understand my powers...you've tried to get to the root of them, but it's not working, and right now, you have so many students here who need help with their powers."
"Is this because of all the time I've been spending with Jean?" the Professor asked quickly.
"No," she lied.
"Right now is a very difficult time for Jean. Her telepathic and telekinetic abilities are growing more powerful at an alarming rate, and right now my primary focus has been on her to ensure she maintains control to avoid any incidents. Not just for her own safety, but for everyone at this institute."
"It's nothing to do with that," Rogue said irritably, she tried to look him in the eye, but felt it difficult to keep doing so. "It's that Ah feel like...Ah'm just spinnin' my tires. Nothin's changin'. Ah'm not movin'. Everyone is movin' on...gettin' better, gettin' faster, stronger, more powerful...and...Ah'm still the same. Ah haven't evolved."
Xavier's brow furrowed, his eyes squinted, "evolved. That's a rather odd way to phrase it."
Rogue's cheeks grew instantly hot as she realised she'd given herself away. She immediately regretted having not properly thought this approach through.
"You've been speaking with Magnus."
She looked down to the floor, she twisted the ring on her index finger absently. "Ah think he could help me," she admitted. "Ah think he knows more...understands more...that he could find a way to...evolve my powers to where Ah can be able to control them."
"Rogue, Magneto's methods are dangerous, and if he evolves your powers, you may not end up the same girl you are now. You may become an unstable mess, unable to control yourself at all. Is that really what you want?"
She raised her eyes to the Professor, "You don't get it, do you?"
He did not answer.
"Ah'm lookin' at livin' the rest of my life like a prisoner trapped in my own body. Ah'm afraid of goin' out...afraid of goin' to school in case someone accidentally bumps into me in the busy hallway and gets killed. Sometimes Ah have these vivid nightmares of my powers becomin' stronger...that they start workin' by just lookin' at people...and Ah wake up thinkin' maybe that someday it could happen."
"But to go to Magneto..." the Professor frowned.
"You had both agreed that you were on speakin' terms. That you weren't really enemies any more. It isn't like he's tryin' to take over the world now. We haven't had a single incident with him or his lackeys for several months."
"That's not the point."
"Then what is?"
"Rogue...Magneto's evolution of mutant power is unnatural, and like anything unnatural, forced acceleration has consequences, undesired side-effects. Don't you realise what you could become?"
Rogue looked away from the Professor, her jaw clenched.
"You don't care, do you?"
"Of course Ah care," she shot. "But Ah also know Ah have to try before Ah just...resign my life to this."
"What's so wrong with this, Rogue? Is your life truly so horrible?"
She supposed it wasn't in some regards, she had a home, people who loved her, clothes on her back, food in her belly. But she wanted much more. "It's not horrible. It's just not...wonderful."
"And you really think Magneto can give you wonderful?"
"Ah don't know what he can give me. But Ah'm willin' to try."
Professor Xavier sighed, "You know I can't stop you, Rogue. You're eighteen now. Legally, I have no rights to stop you from doing anything you set your mind to. But I wish you would at least listen to reason and drop this notion that Magneto can fix your powers as if they were a broken stereo."
She stared at the floor again, feeling sheepish. "Ah've already made up my mind, Professor."
"So you're just going to go...after everything we've done for you, after everything you've been through here? After all the hard work we've done together to help you try to control your powers?"
"It's not that Ah'm not grateful," she stood up slowly, "it's just that Ah'm not happy any more..." she headed for the door and stopped, sighing. "Ah need to do this. If Ah don't...Ah'll spend the rest of my life wondering what might have been."
"Rogue...you know you always have a home here...do not be foolish enough to think that just because we have had this disagreement that you will never be welcome here again. You are always welcome here, and you will always be accepted with open arms. You have always been and will always be one of us, a part of our family. Never forget that."
She gave one last glance at the man over her shoulder before she left him, guilt making her stomach churn. "Thank you, Professor. For everything."
It was odd, Rogue thought, that in her two years of residence at the mansion, she'd accumulated very few possessions of her own. A few meagre pieces of jewellery, an MP3 player, six books and a library card. Her clothing collection accounted to six pairs of gloves (mostly black), eight bras, twelve pairs of panties, nine pairs of socks, three pairs of stockings, four tank tops (all black), two pairs of jeans, two skirts, one swim suit, three tops, a few scarves, and a winter jacket.
It was incredibly sad that with the right folding, she could fit all of it into one single tote bag.
As she folded her favourite blouse – a green mesh number that she loved to wear during the summer because it let her skin feel the air around her – she felt a sigh escape her lips. Her eyes travelled across her bedroom, realising that it would be her room no more, and that Kitty Pryde would have reason to stop complaining about the lack of privacy.
Her thoughts drifted to the discussion with Magneto. She wondered if he truly could do something for her, or if she would be stuck in the same cycle of no-hope that she'd been in for the past two years. She'd grown tired of that cycle, and was eager to break it even if it did mean Magneto's help.
"So you're just gonna cut and run, huh."
Rogue had been so lost in her thoughts that she was startled when Logan's voice came from the open doorway. The blouse dropped from her fingers and landed on the rug. "Don't you ever knock?" she asked irritably.
"Door was open, didn't think I needed to," Logan stepped in, "so I hear you're going to join Magneto."
"Ah've already had this discussion with the Professor," Rogue replied. She didn't want to repeat it with Logan, and she didn't really want to look at him either right now. She could already tell by the tone in his voice that he was dismayed with her. She supposed she couldn't blame him; he'd spent time and effort trying to train her to be strong inside and out, he'd always taught her to fight battles the long, hard and honourable way, and here she was already running out of the door looking for the first available short cut she could find.
"I thought you were stronger than this."
"Ah need to do this..." she knelt down to pick up the blouse and repeated folding it before placing it carefully into her bag.
"If this is about us not trying hard enough to help you, then you should have said. We'll try harder, Rogue. We can fight this thing together..."
"Ah've fought for two years and saw no change," Rogue zipped the bag up. "How many more years do Ah have to fight? How do Ah know Ah'm not just fightin' a losin' battle?"
"When you give up before you've really begun, then it's already a losing battle, Rogue," Logan remarked.
"Please don't make this harder," she pleaded of him, she sat down on the edge of her bed and sighed.
Logan came to sit beside her, "I know it's hard, Rogue," he admitted.
"No, you really don't," she shook her head. "I'm a prisoner in my own body."
"You make it sound like you're disabled, Rogue. I've known people who are paralysed from the neck down. People who can't even speak or do anything for themselves. They're prisoners in their own bodies, Rogue. You're just a prisoner behind cloth. And if you work at it, I know you can get through this," he put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a hard squeeze. "Taking the easy way out isn't going to solve all your problems."
"It's not the easy way out," she replied, "it's an alternative way."
"Look, my point is that I know you're stronger with this, and I know that with time-"
"Time? Two years of time have passed and Ah'm no closer to controllin' this than Ah was back then," Rogue stood up, she moved to the dresser where she'd left her MP3 player and she picked it up and brought it over to the bag, slipping it into the pouch at the side. "How long should Ah wait, Logan?" she asked, "Two more years? Five? Ten? Ah could waste the rest of my life waiting and not see any change. Ah want to live now, while Ah'm young. Ah want relationships, and to not worry about hurtin' friends. Ah want to be able to go outside and wear a t-shirt without wonderin' who's gonna get hurt if they just accidentally touch me..."
"I know that," Logan stated, his tone was harsh, but the look in his eyes was soft, and understanding.
"Ah know you're tryin' to talk me out of makin' a mistake," Rogue stared down at the him, "but what if it's not a mistake? What if it does work out?"
"I hope it does, really," Logan confessed, "but experience has taught me life is rarely all that accommodating. I don't like this Rogue. I don't trust this, and I don't trust Magneto. I don't like the thought of you putting all your eggs in one basket thinking this is going to be what changes your life...and I don't like the thought that at the end of it all, you're going to be hurt. But you're old enough to go out and make your own mistakes and lead your own life. I know I can't stop you. All I can do is say...when it all goes wrong and you need me...I'm only a phone call away. I'll be there...like I always have."
Rogue forced a smile at him, hoping that he wouldn't see the tears that were brimming in her eyes, "thanks."
He stood up and moved towards the door, "I'm still disappointed in you, though," he admitted.
"Ah know..."
"Good luck, Rogue," he said, sounding slightly cold towards her before he left the room.
Rogue watched him go, remembering why she hated goodbyes so much.