Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, or any of the associated characters.

Warnings: There will be some cursing in this fic. Also, I am planning on making this an EnvyxEdward fic. Unrealistic? Most likely, but I do try to keep the characters in character as much as possible.

Brenna (me): Yay, it's my first FMA fic! I'm finally writing one!

--trumpets sound-- --readers flee--

Brenna: No! Don't go yet—read my fic first! T—T By the way, about the timeline for this story: I'm not sure exactly when this fic takes place, but it's probably right around the time that Greed and company break out of lab 5. (Anime version.) Enjoy!

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Chapter One: A Brilliant Idea

Dark shadows covered the grounds outside of Dante's manor and cold wind blew through the trees, causing dead leaves to flutter helplessly to the ground. The sun had set only moments before, causing vivid colors to stain the sky before melting away into pale light.

This, to Envy, was spectacularly dull. Sunsets weren't nearly as interesting the hundred-thousandth time around.

The eldest homunculus sighed from his perch atop a barren tree. He leaned back, holding one hand before his eyes, and watched as the last rays of gray light filtered between his splayed fingers. The sin frowned slightly as another gust of wind blew several strands of long green hair into his face. Withdrawing his outstretched arm, Envy ran a hand lazily through his wild hair, readjusting his black headband as he did so.

Flipping over, the androgynous sin leaped gracefully from the tree, landing in a pile of ochre leaves with a soft crunch. Envy stretched before placing his hands on his hips and wandering off in the direction of the manor.

Reaching the door, the sin shifted his weight to his left leg and kicked out with his right. Easily pushing back the heavy oaken slab with the blow, Envy sauntered inside. His purple eyes shone in the dark entryway and he glanced casually about, checking for the presence of any of the other homunculi. His gaze fell upon a black shape moving towards him from the far side of the long hall and he stopped, allowing his body to lean back against the wall. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited as the figure drew closer.

"Lust." Envy spoke the name in greeting.

The black-clad figure paused. There was a glint of light as the woman's eyes moved to focus on the homunculus addressing her.

"Envy," she replied, the corners of her mouth sliding upwards in a characteristically seductive smile.

"I see that you're going somewhere," the first sin noted, tilting his head in a questioning manner.

Lust sighed in a way that would have given most mortals chills, and looked out at Envy from under long black lashes. "Unfortunately, yes. I'm on my way to Central."

"Central?" Envy quirked a brow in surprise. "What's going on there that Pride and Sloth can't handle?"

"Greed," Lust said by way of explanation, waving one hand dismissively. "He's somewhere in the area. We can't have him killing off those who are most likely to create the stone."

"The state alchemists," Envy mused.

Lust nodded once, her ebony hair swaying forward. "Precisely. You wouldn't believe how many foolish traditions they have at this time of year…quite a number of chances for accidents." Lust laughed darkly, her voice quiet. "You know how much Greed loves such opportunities. Of course, it is quite possible that he will not act at all. Who knows?" The female homunculus gave a slight shrug. "I suppose we'll find out soon enough."

"So, Lust…are you going to Central to find Greed, or to play babysitter for all the little State Alchemists?"

Although the comment could have been insulting, Lust didn't appear to have been fazed in the least. "Well," she replied, shaking gently curled locks away from her eyes, "I'm going to supervise the State Alchemist Exams, and," she continued, "after that I will go in search of Greed, if I can find a way to also keep an eye on the more promising alchemists."

"Such as Full Midget and the Tin Man." Envy began to nod, but stopped halfway through the motion. "Did you say…State Alchemist Exams?"

"I did. You know that they are held annually—this year they are in December—and could pro—" Lust stopped short upon noticing the wicked grin that was lighting up Envy's face.

"Looking for company, Lust," the androgynous sin inquired, his Cheshire-Cat smile still firmly in place.

Lust blinked in surprise. "You want to come to Central? Whatever for, Envy?" At these words, his grin disappeared to be replaced by a look of angelic innocence.

"Oh, I don't know," Envy replied, one corner of his mouth rising fractionally. "It could be interesting, what with the exams and all.'

Lust's smile began to reassert itself, but nonetheless she narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out what was going on behind the violet orbs that were blinking innocently at her through the darkness.

"What are you planning Envy," she inquired softly, a hint of amusement in her sultry voice.

"Well," Envy told her with a shrug, "You need someone to keep an eye on the State Alchemists, right? I figure that the easiest way to do that is to become one. It's bound to be more interesting than rotting away from boredom at the manor. The fact that I might have a chance to kick Greed's ass is only an added bonus."

"Envy," Lust said, raising her delicate ebony eyebrows, "as embarrassing as it is to admit, none of us can use alchemy. Even if you could you would have to be very clever to pass the test. Exceptional. You'd have to stand out. Not only that," she continued, despite the glare that her words were earning her, "but you'd have to know a lot about the science to pass the written portion of the exam. It's supposed to be quite a challenge."

The androgynous sin looked at her reproachfully. "Don't underestimate me, Lust. I'll have you know that before I died I was an alchemist, so I can handle any written portions of the test. Anyway, I'd say that it's pretty damn exceptional to be able to perform human transmutations…on oneself."

"The technique that you use…you can shape-shift, but you do not use alchemy," Lust said, her eyebrows knitting together in annoyance.

"True," Envy conceded, the wicked smile returning, "But I don't see why the State needs to know trivial little details like that."

------Five Days Later------

Edward Elric was having a bad day. It was the kind of day that, under normal circumstances, would have been fine. Unfortunately, the circumstances were not normal, and the day was certainly not fine.

The blond looked angrily out the window, grinding his teeth in frustration. How could Mustang spring something like this on him now? Why now? He was supposed to leave for Risembool in the afternoon. Winry was going to kill him if he didn't show up, and by the looks of things, that was going to be a very definite possibility.

"Full Metal, are you listening to me?" The voice broke through Ed's thoughts, and he turned his attention back to the man at the desk across from him: Colonel Mustang, otherwise known as the Flame Alchemist. What a bastard.

"As I was saying, Full Metal," the colonel continued, "you will be meeting the latest applicants at the train station at 3:00 pm. Don't be late—it's the job of the judges to be examples for—"

"Yeah, yeah," Ed spat out in annoyance. "Get someone else to do it. I'm leaving this afternoon!"

Mustang let out an exasperated sigh. "You can't do that Edward; your State Alchemist license could be revoked." He put up his hands, stopping the questions and accusations that he knew were coming, and quickly continued. "The choice of judges is totally random. There is no way to determine when you will be chosen as a judge for the State Alchemy exams—it could happen again next year, although that would be unlikely. It is expected though, that when you are chosen, you will comply with the order. If you recall, I was chosen to judge the year that you became a State Alchemist. The exams start in two days, and there will be a mandatory meeting for all judges tomorrow morning at 7:00. Be here."

Edward glared at Mustang for approximately ten seconds before abruptly standing and shoving aside his chair. Jamming his gloved hands into his black leather pants pockets, he stalked out of the room, bumping into someone just outside the door.

"Sorry," Ed mumbled darkly, looking away and lifting his right foot to continue walking down the hall.

"Edward Elric," a booming voice hailed him. He looked up at the person he had bumped into only to find, much to his horror, that it was none other than Alex Louis Armstrong.

"Major," Edward said in dismay. "It's good to see you're doing well."

"The same goes to you, Edward," Armstrong boomed, pink sparkles lighting up the air around him. "I heard that you were going to be a judge at this year's State Alchemy exams! Such an incredible coincidence, for I will be doing the same!"

"You don't say," Ed laughed, paling slightly.

"Such a wonderful opportunity," Armstrong boomed merrily. "A chance to see what other would-be State Alchemists can do!" Just then Armstrong happened to glance towards the clock, and his eyes widened. "Edward! We must depart if we are to make it to the train station in time to greet the last of the applicants! Come along!"

Dragging a somewhat befuddled and mildly distressed alchemist in his wake, Armstrong strode down the hall and out of the building.

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Envy was quite pleased with his disguise. He had known right away that if he was going to spend any great length of time in one form, that it had better at least resemble his preferred one. And so it did.

He'd been thinking about what name to adopt on the train, and he'd finally settled with using the first name that he'd been given as a human, and the surname "Evni." That, he figured, was probably as close as he was going to get to Envy without blowing his cover. Anyway, it kept the initials right.

The homunculus stepped lightly from the train, grasping the handle of a small suitcase in his left hand. It had been a while since he'd been out in such a crowded place, and he looked around the station curiously.

He was surprised to see a sign just barely sticking up above the crowd. Instead of sporting a message, however, the sign depicted a simple alchemy array. Naturally, to be sure that the sign wouldn't draw too much attention, the array was highlighter orange and electric blue with a black outline.

Envy grinned. Subtle.

He began to push his way through the throngs of humans, taking care to tread upon a few toes on his way over to the sign.

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Ed held up a brightly colored sign to help guide the State Alchemist applicants to the correct location, an annoyed frown etched into his forehead. It wasn't that he minded holding the sign. It wasn't that the sign looked ridiculous, having been colored by Hughes's daughter. It wasn't even the fact that he had just missed the train that he had been planning on taking to Risembool with his brother, Alphonse. Was it the fact that he had to stand on a bench in order to hold the sign high enough for the people around him to see it? Oh yeah. It was definitely that.

Scowling, Ed watched Armstrong greet the newcomers. If he hadn't been in such a foul frame of mind, he might have felt sorry for them. The Major was shaking their hands vehemently, and he could practically hear the bones snapping.

He and the Major had only been waiting for about five minutes before the applicants had started arriving, and there were already five of them. Edward looked at them appraisingly. They didn't really appear to be anything special. All of them were older than Mustang, and—who was that?

Ed squinted to make out the figure coming towards him through the mob of people crowding the station. The person appeared to be about his own age, with semi-long black hair that was spiked defiantly upwards and shoulder length bangs that lay still, framing a pale face adorned by amethyst eyes. Ed blinked. Amethyst eyes? Who the hell had eyes that color? Wait, didn't he know someone who did? Who was that…?

Who exactly that was, however, Edward never got a chance to recollect, because it was at that moment that the crowd parted just long enough for him to take in the entire profile of the person he was observing.

The person was wearing a black tank top, and had on large boots, similar to the ones that Edward himself was wearing. Apparently the guy had hurt himself because he had a small bandage placed high up on his left leg. None of these things were especially shocking, but damn…those torn black leather shorts were short.

Edward raised a quizzical brow as the applicant reached the bench he was standing on and spoke.

"Hey there. My name's William Evni. I came here for the State Alchemist exams."

Edward blinked in surprise. Perhaps this was going to be more interesting than he had originally thought.

"Well, you've come to the right place," Ed told him, looking somewhat more cheerful than he had moments before. "I'm Edward Elric—the Full Metal Alchemist."

Envy let his head drop to one side before ginning hugely. "Nice to meet'cha Pipsqueak."

Edward twitched, trying to decide if there was any possible way to make Mr. Evni's sudden and tragic death look like an accident. Unfortunately, he was stopped short in his plotting by Armstrong, who had appeared out of the blue to shake Envy's hand.

"Your name is William Evni, you say? It is a pleasure to have you with us," Armstrong cried joyfully, crushing one of Envy's hands within his own and shaking it with great vigor.

Envy's look was one of complete incredulity, and only the great amount of disbelief that he was feeling kept him from kicking the Major into an oncoming train. Eventually Armstrong relinquished his hold of the injured appendage, and Envy shook it carefully in an attempt to regain feeling in his fingers, wondering vaguely how anyone was expected to do alchemy if their hand was broken.

Ah well. One thing was certain: life was bound to be more interesting in Central then it had been at the Manor. Envy grinned. For once that was all he had asked for.

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Brenna: Yay! The first chapter of my FMA fic has been posted!! Sorry if it's similar to anything else that's out there—I haven't read many FMA fanfics so I don't know…

Ed: --cough—

Brenna: Oh yeah! On the count of three!

Ed: One…

Envy: Two…

Brenna: Three!

All: Thank you for reading, and please review!

Envy: --glares at Brenna— I definitely did not just say 'please' and 'thank you.'

Brenna: No, no. Definitely not! --hurriedly turns to readers-- In case you were wondering what happened to Lust, she was on the train too, but she got off later. Also, I know that Edward didn't have an escort to help him figure out how to apply for the job of State Alchemist, but his circumstances were a little unusual. I thought it'd be more interesting this way.

(To those who've read my other stories…I'm sorry! I've been very busy so I haven't had much time to write. I'll work on them when I get the time, or when inspiration hits—whichever comes first.)

I hope to see you all again soon! Let me know if I should continue this story!