'Ello. Tiggy here! I just had this in my head. Everything is in good fun, and I'm not making fun of any author/story in particular. I make fun of everyone! Even myself, as you will see.
One more fic to one hundred! Read and review!
Nessarose Thropp was bored.
And that is never good.
She shifted in her wheelchair and tapped her fingers against the desk. She reset her watch. She flipped her hair over her shoulders. Eventually, after roughly eight minutes and thirty two and a half seconds, she gave up on entertaining herself. "Boq! I'm bored!"
Everyone's favorite Munchkin walked in. "What is it Nessa?" He fingered the edge of his Munchkin Slave uniform.
"I'm bored. And no one is writing any fanfictions about me!"
Boq winced. "Nessa, I hate to tell you, but all you ever do in fics any way is whine to Elphaba, rant about religon, fall in love with me, get sparkly shoes, and get squished by a house. Frankly, I think you're better off here... At least no house will fall on you!"
She pouted prettily. "None of the authors like me, do they?"
He cringed, knowing what was coming. "Don't be silly! All of the Wicked authors like you."
"Than how come no one ever writes about me?" She whined, and it was more of an exclamation than a question.
"Well, some people find you difficult to write... Physically, you have some disadvantages..."
"You mean because I'm in a wheelchair?!" Her eyes flashed.
"Really..." He paused and threw out all the stops. "Sweetheart, you are much better off not in fics." She was all smiles after being called by a petname by her beloved. "Why, you could wind up like..." Boq trailed off, interuppted by a rather disturbed looking Fiyero walking into the Governess's mansion. "Hey, what's wrong with you, man?"
Fiyero flopped down on the couch on his stomach, his Gale Force uniform rather rumpled. "Postmusical Gelphie fic. Elphie decided she was never really in love with me, and ran off with the little blonde creampuff." He groaned. "After all I did for her! She just left me. For a woman!"
"Didn't you leave the little blonde creampuff for Elphie?" Boq said, wanting to defend said creampuff, without evoking the Wicked Witch of the East's wrath.
"But that was different! That was true love! That was classic rules of romance! The popular guy always grows up, realizes he loves the odd, cute girl, and is a better man because of it. Elphaba is mine!"
Nessa wrinkled her nose up. "Possesive, much?"
"Look who is talking," Boq whispered under his breah, hoping she didn't hear him.
"B..but we got to sing a beautiful love song together... and we made out! Alot!"
Boq grinned, getting some odd amusement out of the Winkie Prince's pain. "In all fairness, the girls sing a pretty duet too. And their duet makes people cry. Yours doesn't."
Fiyero scowled. "This fandom really is going downhill... I mean, look at the OCs! And all the original fics we get. Wicked is so not the dumping ground for lame original fics."
"Don't they realize they should be going to fiction press to post their original stories?" Nessarose said with a false, cheerful smile, full of shameless advertising.
Boq rolled his eyes. "Fics really have been going down hill. There are so many fics that do nothing but have you and Elphie fuck. The two of you making 'Sweet Love' for twenty chapters does not create plot!"
"Hey... I like those fics!" Fiyero pouted.
"Tiggy does too." Nessarose pointed out.
"Hmm?" Boq asked, confused.
"You know, one of those rabid fangirls? This is her 99th fanfic. She's really looking forward to breaking one hundred. Well, anyway, she loves Fiyeraba. And I think she's mildly obsessed with that Norbert fellow who played you on Broadway." She grinned. "Well, maybe more than mildly."
Boq laughed at the embarressed look on Fiyero's face. "Aww, looks like Pretty Boy has himself a fangirl."
"Don't laugh too soon. She's written Elphaboq too. It's her pet pairing." With that, Boq turned an interesting shade of pink and stared at his shoes.
"Is everyone getting to make out with my girlfriend but me?" Fiyero sat up with his head in his hands.
"Yes!" Elphaba and Glinda stormed into the mansion, trying to look away from each other. Elphaba had slid herself into Fiyero's lap before anyone else had a chance to blink.
"Missed you Elphie Fae." Fiyero had perked up considerably at that development.
"Missed you too, my hero." She cooed back to him, content to be out of her best friend's arms.
"Eww." Nesarose yelped. "Did you all forget this is my house? I really don't want to have to watch my sister make out with her boyfriend in it!"
Glinda winced. "Don't tell me you're one of those Gelphie shippers too..."
Nessarose raised her hands(as this is a musicalverse fic, and she has hands). "I don't ship anything... well, OK, maybe I do have a favorite pairing." She smiled broadly at Boq. He squirmed.
"You know, I say we give up! I say we boycott fanfiction. We can live our lives in our own way... Can't we?" Little did Fiyero know, elsewhere fangirls were thinking up their new fanfictions...