Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, and "Bruised" lyrics belong to Jack's Mannequin.
"Bruised"
I've got my things, I'm good to go
You met me at the terminal
Just one more plane ride and it's done…
We were assaulted with noise from other travelers scurrying around us, but it didn't ease the stony silence that had engulfed us. Chocolate eyes that used to melt at the touch of my electric blue ones gazed lifelessly back at me. I knew, at that moment gazing back at her, we really had lost everything.
"You've got your stuff?" Hermione asked with less emotion than she'd use when asking what the weather was.
I nodded towards the bags at my feet. Five suitcases and one carry-on, the contents of my life reduced to a few mere luggage containers.
"Yeah, that should be everything…" I said regretfully. I almost wish there was something I'd forgotten, something to give me an excuse to return to the place I'd called home these past ten years. Something, anything, that would take me back to her.
The crackling of the intercom ruined any moment that we might have had. "Flight 124 to Chicago is now boarding zones 1-6.".
I sighed. A few more minutes before I'd have to board, a few more minutes before I'd leave forever. A few more precious moments with her.
"Hermione, please-" I started to say.
"Don't, Fred. Just don't. You know it's too late."
"I'll leave the store to George, I'll spend more time with you, I promise! Just give me a chance!"
"I said enough! I gave you a chance, time and time again, but you never took it. Why is this time any different?"
"Hermione, listen-"
"No, you listen to me. I've supported you and your shop for ten years, but I can't anymore! Not when it's tearing our family apart. You've made your choice, Fred Weasley, and it certainly isn't me." Her eyes burned with passion, something I'd seen so often and loved every time. I tried to quell the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that had been growing over the past year, ever since I'd wanted to open another branch of the store. I drank in those beautiful eyes, more appreciative now more than ever of the fact that I might never see them again.
We stood like statues at the gate
Vacation's come and gone too late
There's so much sun where I'm from
I had to give it away, had to give you away…
Her glare was colder than permafrost, causing my insides to clench up like I had just been hit by a gust of frigid wind. I'd been feeling a lot of that lately, ever since I tried to open my ninth store in America a year ago. Instead of the enthusiastic, warm welcome I was expecting, she'd crossed her arms and emotionally closed herself off from me ever since. And now she was sick of it, said she wouldn't let me tear our family apart.
"Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Hermione looked very expectantly at me, as if an apology is enough to reverse all the damage I'd done.
I shuffle my feet and look down at them awkwardly, feeling like I was reduced to a schoolboy being scolded for passing notes in class.
"I know that nothing I can say will bring you back, so no. Anything I come up with would be a waste of words." I said simply.
"You're right." A trace of sadness reaches her voice, as if she missed the days when it all was simpler and our love was the only thing in the world. The days when I'd wrap my arms around her and the troubles of the world would just fade into the background. She missed them too, just as much as I did.
And we spent four days on an
Island at your family's old hotel
Sometimes perfection can be
It can be perfect hell, perfect…
You see us as we are now and wonder if we'd ever been in love. It's true, once we had a passion for each other that even Voldemort's darkness couldn't touch. We weren't always this broken, this despondent. We once had a love that made all the girls swoon and all the guys wonder. We were the envy of the romantics and the skeptics alike.
The summer before Hermione's fifth year was the summer that everything changed for us. My mother had declared that Harry needed a vacation to get his mind off of Cedric's death, and the rest of us were being dragged along too. It wasn't anything special- just a camping trip in the woods under the stars. The camping trip was my dad's idea, it gave him something to focus his muggle-fascinated mind upon.
It was only a four day trip, but it turned out being so much more for me and Hermione. I stole her first kiss under a veil of glorious stars- something she's never forgiven me for. I remember the way she would blush as red as a tomato every time I'd enter a room; and them promptly scowl furiously when she realized that I'd noticed her lovely bright complexion. It took a slap to the face (courtesy of Ginny) and many girls' movie nights for Hermione to realize that she'd fallen for me harder than a love potion could. We started dating, and then were married. We were so happy together for so long.
"They're calling you." Hermione said, anxious to see me gone.
It was almost funny to see how much things had changed.
Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this,
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don't fly fast, oh pilot can you help me,
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady now
Cause every inch you see is bruised.
"Two minutes left to board. You'd better hurry."
I guess it shouldn't have surprised me at this point that she was so cold to me. After all, what else could I have possibly expected, after the way I'd treated her these past few years? It was excruciating to know that I brought this upon myself, that I was the reason she was so lifeless. I was the only one to blame.
The time had come for me to say goodbye. I half expected her to leap into my arms and tearfully beg me not to go, but the days when she'd do that were long gone now. I missed those days. I missed the old Hermione.
Mostly though, I missed the old Fred.
Her accusations of me weren't groundless, although I hate to admit it. I had spent far too many nights staying up late at the store perfecting our latest product when I should have been resting in the comfort of her arms. As much as I tried not to, I'd forgotten her amidst the chaos of running my own business.
"So you'll take the kids for Christmas, and I'll take them back over the summer." I repeated the agreement we'd made last night. It had taken much anguish and many tears before we'd finally reached a compromise. Neither of us were truly happy with it, but it was the best we could come up with. My heart lurched at the thought of only having my children around for half of the year, but what could I do? It was too late to change anything now.
"Yes, that's fine. I guess… I'll see you then." Hermione said. She tried valiantly to look like she wasn't on the verge of tears, but I knew her better. I could see straight through the mask that had fooled so many others. She hated that we'd let our relationship come to this, but she knew that this was the only option we had.
"So this is goodbye." I stated simply, disgusted that our once perfect love had been reduced to this.
"Yes. Goodbye, Fred," She turned to go.
Looking back, I still don't understand why I did it. I guess I couldn't let her go, I still believed that somewhere within us our fire and passion for each other still burned bright. There was a part of me that refused to let us die like this, refused to believe that we would ever truly be over. The part of me that loved her unconditionally like the foolish, smitten schoolboy I once was.
I kissed her, right on the lips, full and passionate. People stared and children pointed and mothers gasped and brakes screeched and suitcases fell and teenagers whistled. They all stared. None of them could tear their eyes away from us, because they knew that true, genuine love was right in front of them; something that they might never see again in their lifetime.
Something I knew I'd never have again if I got on that plane.
I soaked up the moment for all it was worth. Hands tangled relentlessly in thick hair. Breaths mingled in the almost nonexistent space between us. Arms tightened, fingers clenched. Tears mixed.
All too quickly she pulled away. "Go, just go." The composure that she'd so desperately clung to was lost as tears poured undignified and unchecked down her anguished face. She turned around, knowing she couldn't watch me leave. She would risk losing what shred she still had that still wanted to get rid of me.
Merlin, how I wanted her to just turn around.
I knew she wouldn't, though. I knew she would remain that way until I'd boarded and was long gone. No, she would never turn around. This was our end.
I lace my chucks, I walk the aisle
I take my pills, the babies cry
All I hear is what's playing through the in-flight radio
Now every word of every song
I ever heard that made me wanna stay
Is what's playing through the in-flight radio, and I
And I am finally waking up.
I stow my bags in the overhead compartment and find my seat by the window. Babies cry like a siren, it was gut-wrenching how they sounded so much like my own children's cries. I tried to tune them out and put on some headphones, the sappy romance songs on the radio did nothing to strengthen my weakening resolve. It all reminded me of her.
I ripped off the headphones and threw them away, resigning myself to blessed silence.
"Is everything satisfactory, sir?" The flight attendant asked. I couldn't help but notice how much her brown eyes were like hers, and I had to look away.
"Everything's fine." It couldn't have been farther from the truth and I'm sure that the attendant saw straight through the lie, but at this point I didn't care. I wanted to be left alone.
"You leaving your wife behind?"
The surprise must have been evident on my face, because a knowing grin soon spread across her face.
"I saw you two saying goodbye. It was precious, really. You're a very lucky man."
My heart clenched for the twelfth time in the last minute. "I know."
"Don't let her go."
She patted me on the shoulder, as if that somehow negated the extra worry that she'd just haphazardly thrust into my whirlwind of emotions. I massaged my temples, trying to get my pounding and urgent thoughts to back down for a while. It did no good, however. They were still there, and a part of me knew that they'd be there forever.
The pilot's voice crackled through the intercom, notifying the passengers of the momentary departure. Immediately my heart leaped into my throat, and something inside of me snapped. This was it, my last chance. No turning back. Seat belts fastened, engines revved, cell phones were turned off, each one adding to the urgency of what little time I had left. A life in America with glamour and fame and success, or a life with Hermione.
My watch ticked. One second closer.
In the midst of that absolute panic and chaos, I finally understood that a life without her was no life at all.
Hours
pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I
swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of
me is bruised, bruised
Don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help
me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it
steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised, yeah
I leaped out of my seat with all the grace of a drunken Hagrid on roller skates. I forced my way down the crowded aisle, elbowing past anyone who was unfortunate enough to not get out of my way in time. I fought and I fought, because I knew that I had finally found something that was truly worth fighting for.
"Sir, the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. Please return to your seat and remain seated until it is turned off." A voice broke into my thoughts when I was almost to the front. A hand clutched my arm, sensing my distress, but I tore free of her grasp.
"I don't have time for this." I pushed past her towards the entrance, where I knew the door was.
"You have to let me off this plane," I told a pair of startled brown eyes.
"Sir, the lift's already-"
"I don't care. Is this the door?" I asked casually as I turned to a metal square in the wall.
"You can't, we're twenty feet above the ground-"
Her words were lost to me as I forced the door open. Pavement stretched below us, it was a pretty far drop, but I knew I'd survive.
"Sir, I don't understand-"
I cut her off. "You were right. You were absolutely right."
Understanding lit up her eyes, and then a slight panic at the realization that followed. But by the time she'd reached forward to stop me, I was already gone. For a moment I flew, as free as the day I first mounted a broom, and then pain shot up my leg and everything was black.
So read your books, but stay out late
Some nights, some nights, and don't think
That you can't stop by the bar
You haven't shown your face here since the bad news
Well I'm here till close, with fingers crossed
Each night 'cause your place isn't far.
And hours pass, and hours pass,
yeah,
yeah
yeah, yeah
Three broken bones and a fracture. That was the extent of the damage, what it cost me to get back to her.
And bruises. Bruises like you wouldn't believe. Blue ones and yellow ones and green ones, covering me all over. Every inch.
Oh yes, it hurt. It hurt a lot more than I'd thought it would when I'd made the brilliant decision to jump off of that plane. Apparently I'd made the national muggle news, they had never seen actions so reckless before. They kept showing a loop of my not-so-graceful dive, a satisfying crunch resounding every time I hit the pavement. I wondered absently if Hermione had seen it, if Hermione had even cared.
She still
counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For
it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
I was watching the 247th shot of me face-planting into the ground when the most heavenly, glorious sound interrupted my thoughts.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Tiny feet pattered excitedly across the dull hospital floor. I barely had a chance to glance into vibrant blue eyes before a shock of amazon, wild red frizzy hair flew onto my body. And, Merlin, it hurt.
But I held her tighter despite it.
"Jane, sweetie! How are you?"
"You jumped off a plane! I saw it on the telly! Mommy turned all pale and freaky like a zombie and she almost fainted but she didn't cause I screamed so loud in her ear and then you CRUNCHED! On the ground and I'd really thought you died, daddy, I really did, and so we came here to make sure you're not dead even though mommy kept saying she was gonna kill you if you were alive and you're not dead! You're not dead! You're not dead!" She bounced happily on my stomach at each exclamation, something that did not go unnoticed by my poor, abused body.
"Where is mommy, sweetie?" I asked.
"I can't tell you, daddy! She said herself she'd kill you if she saw you, I heard!"
I chuckled at my daughter's fear. "Sweetie, I don't think mommy meant it when she said she'd kill me."
"I'll kill him! I'll kill him!" It was then that the bushy-haired wonder entered the hospital room, with our two-year-old daughter, Amber, in tow. Her vibrant eyes, shining with their old glow, turned their violent gleam towards me. Merlin, it was so good to see the passion in her eyes again. Almost good enough to negate the morbid fate that she probably had planned for me.
"Nooo! Mommy's on the rampage!" Jane yelled delightfully as she sprung off of my hospital bed, clutchced Amber who was nearly as big as she, and hauled them off to take refuge in the corner. I smiled slightly to myself, only Hermione's daughter would know a word like "rampage" at the age of five.
"I cannot believe you would pull such a stunt, Fred Weasley! I mean, a plane? Honestly! You could've gotten yourself killed!" She stepped towards my bed, profound panic written all over her features.
"I realized something on that plane, Hermione. I realized that nothing in this world is more important than you and our family. I wanted to give you all a life that I never had when I was growing up, and I got carried away. I'm sorry. I couldn't wait for a return flight to talk to you, Hermione. It would have been too late."
"But a PLANE? That's practically suicide! You're lucky you got away with what little injury you have!"
"I know, honey, I'm sorry but it had to be done-"
"You don't know what it felt like when you hit that pavement! You don't know how my heart stopped beating for that moment when I thought yours had stopped, too. You don't know how a part of me collapsed at the sight of your crumpled form. You don't know how it hurt… You don't know… how horrible…"
She was kneeling at my bedside, finally at eye level with me. Her soft brown eyes brimmed with tears, her voice hoarse and strained. I took her small, trembling hands in my own, the familiar touch bringing me to life again. We were together again, for one more blessed moment. I never wanted it to end.
"I can't live without you, Fred."
My heart soared at her words like an engine whirring to life. I pulled her down for a kiss, knowing that this wouldn't be the last one, knowing there would be many more to come.
And that made it all the more beautiful.
Our daughters squealed in the corner, breaking us from our moment. Jane hurried to cover Amber's innocent eyes with her hands.
"Not in front of the baby!" She scolded. She was so much like her mother.
I laughed, and met Hermione's eyes, the unsaid question behind them saying everything that I couldn't.
"One more chance."
I sighed with relief. She still loved me. She still wanted me to be with her.
I embraced her, huge grins slapped across both of our faces. Jane and Amber hurried in to join the fun, linking their hands with ours. We were finally all together again, connected by a link that I knew would never be broken again.
And
don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last?
This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch
you see is bruised, bruised, bruised.
A/N: Thank you for reading!! What did you think? Believable? Unbelievable? Ridiculous in all aspects? I want to know! This is my first time trying to write a songfic so feedback would really be appreciated. I'm also working on a Draco/Hermione oneshot, it should be up soon. Thanks again for reading!