James was having the worst day of his life.
Okay, so he was known to be a bit dramatic. Not Sirius levels of drama queen, sure, but a bit dramatic. A tiny bit. This was genuinely it though. The worst day ever.
He'd overslept and had to go to Quidditch practice without breakfast. At said Quidditch practice, he'd missed three easy goals, and the rest of the team hadn't been much better. After shouting at them (motivationally. James was an excellent motivational speaker), he'd discovered that the hot water wasn't working properly in the showers, so by the time he made it to his first class, he was cold and damp.
At this point he was already fairly sure he'd hit rock bottom. Things must be about to get better. After all, they had Transfiguration first thing, and Professor McGonagall loved them. He could turn into a badass deer; sixth year Transfiguration wasn't going to pose any major problems…
Except apparently forgetting your homework could cause a major problem in any class.
"Detention tomorrow, Mr Potter," McGonagall said irritably, collecting in everyone else's essays. And obviously James was good with detentions. Detentions were absolutely not the end of the world that goody two-shoes like Lily Evans thought they were (he scowled at the back of her head a bit while she handed in her undoubtedly perfect essay, smiling smugly. She probably wasn't actually smug. His scowling was turning into more of a dreamy stare. What was he thinking about, again…?), but he wanted to earn his detentions. Preferably by doing something funny or brave or at least slightly less pathetic than forgetting the homework that he'd actually done.
If Transfiguration was bad, Potions was a disaster. On a good day, Potions still had Snivellus, and Slughorn constantly fawning over both him and Lily so that one way or another, James had no hope of concentrating. As previously mentioned, this was not a good day. The junior Death Eater group were laughing in the corner as James stood frozen where he'd leapt back from his cauldron just a second too late, covered in his slimy potion.
"An essay on what not to add to a Shrinking Solution on my desk by Friday, Mr Potter," Professor Slughorn said, looking disappointed. A quick wave of his wand vanished the goop, but the Slytherins were still laughing like this was the funniest thing they'd seen all year.
Lunch was average, he supposed. His favourite dessert was missing though, which was just, well, the icing on the absent cake.
The afternoon brought Ancient Runes, which he didn't follow in the slightest. Had he ever known what any of these squiggles meant? What do you mean, that one's in English? Frankly, he thought the Professor was pulling this stuff out of thin air. James gave up. He'd borrow Remus' notes after.
Finally, that excruciating hour ended. He had a free period until the end of the day, and he rushed back to Gryffindor Tower. If he got back to the dorm quickly enough, then no other bad things could happen. Through the portrait hole, up the stairs, through the door into the sixth-year boys' dormitory...
James' first thought was that he hadn't noticed that Remus wasn't in Ancient Runes, and he had no idea who he'd get notes from now.
The rest of his brain caught up to what was going on half a second later.
"Oh God."
They must have heard him. He hadn't been quiet. Why were they still… He tore his gaze away, horrified.
"Oh, don't mind me, finish, please!" James snapped. With the way Remus was rubbing against Sirius' leg, he was in danger of witnessing just that. "OI!"
"Yes?" Sirius broke free of the kiss, sounding as though he was the one who had a right to be annoyed here. Sirius was not the one who had walked in on his best friends making out in his own dorm – his own bed, why were they on his bed, he'd never be able to sleep again. Remus had the grace to look a little embarrassed, at least, but he also didn't seem inclined to move.
"Should I go? Give you two some privacy?" James asked sarcastically.
"That'd be good," Sirius said pleasantly, ignoring James' blatant irritation.
James threw his hands up in frustration, but Sirius had resumed his, er, previous activity, and James wasn't entirely certain that he was bluffing. Sirius' boundaries… Well. No one had found them yet. He returned to the common room, shoulders slumped in defeat. Despite the early afternoon hour, it was busy, and James looked around desperately for someone to sit with, but the only people he knew were Lily and her friends. And under normal circumstances, he would seize an opportunity to trade insults (alright, flirt) with Evans, but right now he just wanted a bit of quiet.
But it was that or back to the dorm, so…
"Potter. Can't say it's a pleasure. What do you want?" Lily asked as he approached their group.
"Somewhere to sit in peace?" he said hopefully. Lily snorted.
"Peace? You? Yeah right."
"Yes, right."
"Why would you want peace?" she said disbelievingly.
"I got a detention for homework that I actually did, a cauldron blew up in my face, and I just walked in on Sirius and Remus defiling my bed," James said tiredly. Lily blinked in confusion at his tone, opening her mouth and then shutting it again when Alice kicked her in the shin.
"Sit down then." Alice pointed at the empty chair.
And so, James' terrible, awful, absolute worst day ever got that little bit worse, as he spent his afternoon in the company of Lily Evans, who hated him more than anyone else in this school (other than Snape, probably).
Except… it wasn't that awful. Actual conversations were had. They commiserated with him about his bad day. Lily helped him start his Potions essay. She was different with her friends. Let's face it, she was probably different when he wasn't teasing her every time she opened her mouth.
"Coming to dinner with us?" Lily asked, a little awkwardly, as six o'clock approached.
"Sure," James agreed, in no rush to see Sirius and Remus again. Peter hadn't been scarred recently, he'd cope…
"And THAT," Sirius interrupted James' reminiscing loudly "Is how me getting laid got Prongs the girl of his dreams!"
"She was not the girl of my dreams," James spluttered.
"How exactly is this the thing that 'got me'?" Lily asked, eyebrows raised "And James, things like that are not how you keep a girlfriend, just saying."
"Can we back up and ask why Sirius is listening in on our private conversation?" James asked, glaring at Sirius.
"Don't have private conversations in our dorm," Sirius shrugged "Nice to see you up here by the way Evans."
"Don't have conversations – do you hear yourself?" James demanded.
"Loud and clear. We're going to dinner, are you guys coming?"
"We'll catch you up when we're done," Lily said.
Sirius left, winking at them and waggling his eyebrows a lot.
"So, where were we… The moment you fell madly in love with me?" Lily asked once Sirius was out of earshot.
"No, that one was in first year," James said promptly, and then turned the colour of a tomato "This is just the moment where I started liking you as a person."
"That," Lily said, shaking her head "Is not the right way around at all."
James shrugged.
"Seems to have worked out for the best."
A/N: Written for The Dialogue Wheel Challenge by AlwaysPadfoot on the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges forum, prompt "Oh God. Oh, don't mind me, finish, please!" (sarcasm). I was fully intending to write something other than the Marauders for a change, but here we are!