Summary: Buffy prepares for a perfect Thanksgiving with Spike. But of
course, it's the Hellmouth- nothing goes as planned. B/S fluff and angst.
Disclaimer: I own nothing; all the characters belong to Joss & co. I wish Spike were mine, but then again, who doesn't? LOL Please don't sue me, I have nothing to give you.
Timeline: set one year after Buffy's "return", just before thanksgiving. Assumes that everything so far from season 6 has happened, but after that, anything goes (spoilers through "wrecked")
Prologue: Reflections
They'd been together for a while. After their fight, which now had taken place almost a year ago, Spike was sure that she'd kill him. The morning after, as they hurled insults at one another, each trying to come up with the most hurtful thing they could say to the other, Spike just knew that he would never again have the chance to wake up next to her ever again. He was certain that once she had really taken the time to think about it, and to process some of the things he'd said that she would show up at his crypt and stake him for sure. He just couldn't understand why she couldn't admit that she felt it too. He wasn't demanding that she tell him she loved him (not yet anyway), he just wished that she would admit that she felt something when she was with him, and that it wasn't wrong. He didn't see much of her in the days following the fight. He usually waited until just after sundown and went by either the house or the magic shop, making sure that Buffy was not there, to check on Dawn. After her accident with Willow he had to make sure that his Lil Bit was recovering properly. But he made it a point to stay away from Buffy. Then, all of a sudden, one night in mid-December, the door to his crypt flew open, and in walked Buffy. He wasn't surprised; he had sensed that she was near. So he calmly turned to face her, sure that she was about to come flying at him, stake in hand. Well, he was half right. She came flying at him, but he couldn't see if she even had a stake on her. What in bloody hell is she thinking walking at night, unarmed, through the cemetery?? Spike thought as he watched the flash of her coming toward him. Before he even had time to think about fussing at her for coming 'round with no weapons, that she'd get herself killed, blah, blah, blah, he felt her crash into him, wrapping her arms around his cool body and drawing him into one of the most passionate kisses of his existence. When she finally came up for air, he quipped, "Bloody hell, Slayer, is it that important to you that I die happy? Go ahead, stake me now, I know that's why you're here, what else could you possibly want from me?"
Buffy lowered her eyes, and he noticed a single tear rolling down her beautiful cheek. He resisted the urge to go to her, to take her in his arms and wipe her tears away. She turned away from him, and slowly slid to the floor, as her tears began to be a constant stream down her face. Spike was bewildered. As she fell into slow, violent, sobs and curled up on his floor, he wondered what brought about this rather odd show of emotions from the Slayer. Since her return, he had tried to make things as normal as possible for her, but he was slowly realizing that completely "normal" may not be what she needed right now. He choked back the urge to come out with some smart ass, big bad comment, and instead walked over to where she was lying on his floor. He had never seen her like this; she was crying so hard she could barely breathe. He slowly raised her tiny body up off the floor, and cradled her to him, hoping that he could ease just a little of her pain, and thinking that she would talk to him when she was ready.
As he held her there, in a whisper that Spike could barely hear even with his vampire hearing, Buffy said "Why don't you love me anymore?"
Spike's mouth fell open, as he tried to process where that question had come from. He slowly sat her up, and turned her to face him. When she wouldn't look at him, he gently crooked a finger under her chin to raise her gaze up to his. "Luv, where in the world did you get an idea like that?" Although he knew the answer before the words had finished rolling off his tongue. He then realized his mistake in not sticking around and fighting for her love after that morning in the abandoned house. Even though he knew the answer, he waited for her response.
"How can you ask me that Spike?" came Buffy's weary reply. "I admit that I totally did not believe you when you said you loved me before I died. But then when I came back, and saw how you had worked to keep your promise to me, I started to let myself believe that it might be true. But then, after we." her voice trailed off as she started to cry again. He waited for her to start speaking again, and when she did he was horrified by her words. "I was really starting to think you were different Spike. I thought you would be the one to stick around in the morning, the one who wouldn't leave, the one who would fight for everything he felt. But instead you just proved that you're no better than Angel or Riley. Or even Parker for that matter."
Her words stung as he heard them, breaking his unbeating heart with every syllable. "Well, pet, I wasn't the only one hurling insults and running out that morning, you did your fair share too". Old habits die hard, Spike resigned as the verbal jab slipped out before he realized it. In an effort to correct his words, he explained, "I was afraid that I was making things too complicated for you. And, judging by your reaction that morning in the abandoned house, I just figured that you didn't want anything to do with me, so I left you alone. Buffy the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, but I thought you could use some space to figure out what you wanted. I was not avoiding you to try and hurt you."
"So then why the harsh words when I got here tonight. I just was hoping that you would be at least a little happy to see me, instead of assuming that I was here to kill you" Buffy said, the hurt still apparent in her voice.
Spike got up from his seat on the floor next to Buffy and started pacing around. Even if she doesn't stake me, this girl will be the death of me, he thought to himself. He finally turned around to her and said "You never did tell me why you were here, Slayer". He hadn't noticed that as he'd been pacing around the crypt, Buffy had also gotten up and was crossing to him, once he stopped his pacing about.
"I though that kiss I planted on you would have been self- explanatory"
For the third time that night, Spike was amazed. Buffy could see that he might need more convincing. She crossed to him, and smirked to herself when she noticed the "deer-in-headlights" look on Spikes face. She stopped when she was inches away from him, and reached up to kiss him again. Before he had the chance to say anything to totally ruin the moment, Buffy started speaking. "Spike, these last few weeks without you around have been torture for me. I realize that I want to be with you. I'm not saying that I love you, that's just way too confusing for me to even think about right now, but I do know that not having you in my life is only adding to the hell I feel everyday. But I do know that I have feelings for you, and I was hoping that you would be willing to give me the time to sort out my emotions, but not by myself. I need to be with you Spike".
Her last sentence echoed through his brain like chimes from a bell tower. Was this a dream? A cruel dream that was about to be snatched away from him, just when he'd heard the words he'd wanted to hear for so long? As if she was reading his mind, Buffy said, as she let her hands begin to explore the muscles of his chest and back, "Spike, you're not dreaming. Please, I need to be with you"
With those words, Spike drew Buffy closer to him, and kissed her. Tenderly at first, then deepening as the passion rose between them. Spike scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to his bed, placing her gently down. A small whimper escaped her lips when he broke their kiss to place her on the bed, but then he started kissing her again, holding her close. He pulled back for only a moment, to look in her eyes and ask "Buffy, are you sure this is what you want?" Her reply came as a breathless statement "Yes, Spike. please. I want you".
At that moment they both knew there was no turning back.
Spike could hardly believe that had been almost a year ago. Thanksgiving was drawing close, and he had to chuckle to himself when he thought about how excited Buffy was about the holiday. She was making such a big deal about it; planning a huge dinner for the gang, trying to make sure that everything was perfect. Giles was coming back for her Thanksgiving celebration, and she hoped he would stay with them at least until the New Year. She had even told everyone to come prepared to share what they were thankful for, although none of the scooby's were really keen on making some elaborate mushy speech about being thankful for each other, and most of them were quite afraid of what random things Anya might come up with to blabber on about. But Buffy couldn't wait. She had plans for this thanksgiving, an ulterior motive for her little "say what you're thankful for" time. She was going to tell everyone exactly what she was most thankful for, and she was finally going to tell Spike that she loved him.
Chapter 1: Company's coming
Buffy was frantically dashing around the kitchen, making her shopping list, even though the holiday was still a few days away. Buffy was determined to do her shopping that night, so she wouldn't be so rushed to get everything together for her gathering. She was so excited about Thanksgiving, about the thought of having her closest friends, her family, with her. She wanted everything to be perfect, because she was hoping this would be a Thanksgiving she would never forget. Spike heard her scurrying around, and wondered what she was doing. She scanned over her shopping list, and laid it on the counter with one of her "drafts" of her speech she intended to make on Thanksgiving. The phone rang just as Spike sauntered into the kitchen. "Will you answer that for me, Spike? I'm just finishing up something here" Buffy said as she wrote down the last couple of items on her list. She could feel the change in Spike's mood as soon as he picked up the phone and said hello. As soon as he started talking, she understood why.
"Peaches, what the bloody hell do you want?.. Well that's just none of you business, now is it, mate? Yeah, Whatever. Ok, just a minute"
Great, Buffy thought. What in the bloody hell does he want? This had better be good. She took the phone from Spike as he shoved it her way, and said "Angel?"
Spike listened to her broken, mysterious one-sided conversation. He wished that he knew exactly what Angel was telling her, what crisis he'd come up with to hurt her feelings this time. He tried not to worry about it, though, knowing that Buffy would tell him all about it when she got off the phone. Just then, he heard Buffy say quietly into the phone "well, if you think that's best, then get here when you can, and we'll tell them together. ok, be safe, bye". Now Spike's interest was really peaked. Why in the world was Angel coming to Sunnydale? His attention then drifted to the list and the other piece of paper Buffy had been writing on when he'd come into the room. Just as he was about to pick it up and read it, Buffy snatched the papers up off the counter and stuffed them in her pocket. She leaned over and gave Spike a quick kiss and tried to convince him to come shopping with her. Even though he hated shopping, he agreed to go, hoping to get some information about why his grandsire was gracing them with a visit.
Once inside the market, Spike decided to approach the topic. "So, pet. what was it that you so desperately didn't want me to see on that paper I was about to read in the kitchen?" He watched as her face flushed and she looked at him like a child whose hand had been caught in the cookie jar. "Nothing." She replied, "just my shopping list", which she then produced from her jacket pocket. Spike made a mental note that this little shopping list was not the only paper she'd stuffed into that pocket, but decided to let it go and move on to the subject of Angel. Trying to make his voice sound as calm as he could be, and stifle the anger that just the thought if his name conjured up, he said "Well, then, maybe you'd like to share what the poof called in regard to". Buffy's head snapped up, and Spike was afraid of what she might say in response to that question. "Oh, nothing really important. Just called to say that he was going to be coming through here on his way to investigate some new big bad near Mexico, and that if we didn't mind.he might stop by" she rushed the words out in one breath. She could feel the tension and could tell that the anger was boiling up inside Spike. She decided to continue "Spike, he's only going to be here for a few hours, probably on Thanksgiving day. Will you please, for me, try to be nice? He was a big part of my life you know, and he's bound to pop back up from time to time." She noticed a look of suspicion on his face, but dismissed it as some pent up emotion against Angel. Buffy didn't realize that he had overheard the end of the phone call and what she'd said to Angel. Spike decided just to drop it, and to find out what the real reason for his sudden visit was later. He smiled at her and said "If that's what you want, pet, then I'll try. I would do anything for you if it would make you happy".
Over the next couple of days, though, Spike found that his thoughts were infested with wonderment over the real reason that Angel was coming to town. And it didn't help any that Buffy continued to act so secretive. He would catch her sometimes, writing in a little book, but whenever she realized that he was there she would quickly put it away and try to act like nothing was up. He didn't like the feeling of not trusting her, but then again she wasn't really helping the situation any. The night before Thanksgiving, he found out the reasoning behind her sneakiness. Spike and Buffy were about to go out on one of their late night, post-patrol walks, and as she was coming down the stairs, Buffy called down to Spike and asked him to get her coat for her. When he picked up the coat, the mysterious little piece of paper from earlier that week fell at his feet. Before Buffy got there, Spike swooped it up and put it in his own pocket, deciding to read it later and try to figure out just what was going on. Later that evening, when Buffy was asleep, Spike slipped out of her bed and went to the bathroom to read the note he'd found. It was her Thanksgiving speech, about what she was most thankful for. It started out as your basic stuff, being thankful for friends and family, for the closeness they all shared, etc. But the second part almost sent Spike out to meet the sunrise. Tears formed in his eyes as he read the words, so delicately penned in Buffy's handwriting.
This year, however, I have the most wonderful thing in the world to be thankful for. I am thankful for the blessing of true love, the kind of love that you find only once in a lifetime. And I feel so blessed that the man I love with my whole heart, and my whole being is finally here with us today. He has professed his love to me for years, and now I know that nothing can keep us apart. I'm so thankful for him, and I just wanted to say to him "I love you."
So this is why he was coming to Sunnydale on Thanksgiving. This is what they were going to "tell everyone together". As he sat there and felt sobs rising in his chest, he let Buffy's note fall from his hands to the cold tile of the bathroom floor. Spike couldn't stand to be in that house one more moment. He quickly went downstairs, grabbed his duster, and prepared to leave. Just as he was about to walk out the back door, Dawn appeared in the hallway, and called out to him: "Where you going so early, Spike? Trying to be first in line for fresh muffins at the bakery?" He did not turn to face her, but hissed over his shoulder "I have to leave for a while. Tell the Slayer I'll try to be back later." Dawn wondered what brought about his harsh tone, but she didn't have time to ask him; he was gone in a flash.
Buffy woke up to the very odd feeling of being alone in her bed. She'd not woken up alone a single night since she'd gone to Spike to tell him that she needed him in her life. She still felt groggy from sleep, and called out his name as she was waking up. "Spike.Spike.where are you?" When he didn't answer, she decided to get up and see if he was in the bathroom or the kitchen. The bathroom door was open, and when she glanced in she saw a single sheet of paper lying on the tile floor. When she picked it up and saw what it was, she mused aloud to herself "Hmph.. I wondered where this was. I must've dropped it in here last night. I sure hope Spike didn't see it, or everything will be ruined." Buffy made her way down to the kitchen, and found Dawn sitting at the table, munching on some Count Chocula and humming along to the radio she'd turned on. Dawn looked up and asked Buffy "Did you and Spike have a fight?"
"No. What makes you think that?"
"Well, I just thought you might have by the way he stormed out of here this morning. Definitely not a morning person, that vamp." Dawn chuckled to herself, noting the irony of the joke she'd made.
"What do you mean 'the way he stormed out of here' Dawn, what did he say?" Buffy demanded.
Suddenly Dawn realized that maybe Buffy really didn't know that he was gone, and she hated having to tell her sister what had happened. "Well, I woke up and came down for some water, and Spike was going out the back door. I asked him where he was going so early, and made some joke about him going out to bring us breakfast, but he just snapped back at me that he had to get out of here, and to tell you that he'd try to be back later."
Buffy then told Dawn that he probably left because Angel was coming. Dawn was shocked at that news, and wondered why Buffy hadn't told any of them that Angel was coming to town. All she would say even then was that Angel had some news for everyone and that he thought it was best to tell them in person. Dawn knew how much Spike hated Angel, and the Summers sisters decided that that was probably why Spike had left in such a hurry, he just didn't want to be there when Angel showed up.
TBC.
Disclaimer: I own nothing; all the characters belong to Joss & co. I wish Spike were mine, but then again, who doesn't? LOL Please don't sue me, I have nothing to give you.
Timeline: set one year after Buffy's "return", just before thanksgiving. Assumes that everything so far from season 6 has happened, but after that, anything goes (spoilers through "wrecked")
Prologue: Reflections
They'd been together for a while. After their fight, which now had taken place almost a year ago, Spike was sure that she'd kill him. The morning after, as they hurled insults at one another, each trying to come up with the most hurtful thing they could say to the other, Spike just knew that he would never again have the chance to wake up next to her ever again. He was certain that once she had really taken the time to think about it, and to process some of the things he'd said that she would show up at his crypt and stake him for sure. He just couldn't understand why she couldn't admit that she felt it too. He wasn't demanding that she tell him she loved him (not yet anyway), he just wished that she would admit that she felt something when she was with him, and that it wasn't wrong. He didn't see much of her in the days following the fight. He usually waited until just after sundown and went by either the house or the magic shop, making sure that Buffy was not there, to check on Dawn. After her accident with Willow he had to make sure that his Lil Bit was recovering properly. But he made it a point to stay away from Buffy. Then, all of a sudden, one night in mid-December, the door to his crypt flew open, and in walked Buffy. He wasn't surprised; he had sensed that she was near. So he calmly turned to face her, sure that she was about to come flying at him, stake in hand. Well, he was half right. She came flying at him, but he couldn't see if she even had a stake on her. What in bloody hell is she thinking walking at night, unarmed, through the cemetery?? Spike thought as he watched the flash of her coming toward him. Before he even had time to think about fussing at her for coming 'round with no weapons, that she'd get herself killed, blah, blah, blah, he felt her crash into him, wrapping her arms around his cool body and drawing him into one of the most passionate kisses of his existence. When she finally came up for air, he quipped, "Bloody hell, Slayer, is it that important to you that I die happy? Go ahead, stake me now, I know that's why you're here, what else could you possibly want from me?"
Buffy lowered her eyes, and he noticed a single tear rolling down her beautiful cheek. He resisted the urge to go to her, to take her in his arms and wipe her tears away. She turned away from him, and slowly slid to the floor, as her tears began to be a constant stream down her face. Spike was bewildered. As she fell into slow, violent, sobs and curled up on his floor, he wondered what brought about this rather odd show of emotions from the Slayer. Since her return, he had tried to make things as normal as possible for her, but he was slowly realizing that completely "normal" may not be what she needed right now. He choked back the urge to come out with some smart ass, big bad comment, and instead walked over to where she was lying on his floor. He had never seen her like this; she was crying so hard she could barely breathe. He slowly raised her tiny body up off the floor, and cradled her to him, hoping that he could ease just a little of her pain, and thinking that she would talk to him when she was ready.
As he held her there, in a whisper that Spike could barely hear even with his vampire hearing, Buffy said "Why don't you love me anymore?"
Spike's mouth fell open, as he tried to process where that question had come from. He slowly sat her up, and turned her to face him. When she wouldn't look at him, he gently crooked a finger under her chin to raise her gaze up to his. "Luv, where in the world did you get an idea like that?" Although he knew the answer before the words had finished rolling off his tongue. He then realized his mistake in not sticking around and fighting for her love after that morning in the abandoned house. Even though he knew the answer, he waited for her response.
"How can you ask me that Spike?" came Buffy's weary reply. "I admit that I totally did not believe you when you said you loved me before I died. But then when I came back, and saw how you had worked to keep your promise to me, I started to let myself believe that it might be true. But then, after we." her voice trailed off as she started to cry again. He waited for her to start speaking again, and when she did he was horrified by her words. "I was really starting to think you were different Spike. I thought you would be the one to stick around in the morning, the one who wouldn't leave, the one who would fight for everything he felt. But instead you just proved that you're no better than Angel or Riley. Or even Parker for that matter."
Her words stung as he heard them, breaking his unbeating heart with every syllable. "Well, pet, I wasn't the only one hurling insults and running out that morning, you did your fair share too". Old habits die hard, Spike resigned as the verbal jab slipped out before he realized it. In an effort to correct his words, he explained, "I was afraid that I was making things too complicated for you. And, judging by your reaction that morning in the abandoned house, I just figured that you didn't want anything to do with me, so I left you alone. Buffy the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, but I thought you could use some space to figure out what you wanted. I was not avoiding you to try and hurt you."
"So then why the harsh words when I got here tonight. I just was hoping that you would be at least a little happy to see me, instead of assuming that I was here to kill you" Buffy said, the hurt still apparent in her voice.
Spike got up from his seat on the floor next to Buffy and started pacing around. Even if she doesn't stake me, this girl will be the death of me, he thought to himself. He finally turned around to her and said "You never did tell me why you were here, Slayer". He hadn't noticed that as he'd been pacing around the crypt, Buffy had also gotten up and was crossing to him, once he stopped his pacing about.
"I though that kiss I planted on you would have been self- explanatory"
For the third time that night, Spike was amazed. Buffy could see that he might need more convincing. She crossed to him, and smirked to herself when she noticed the "deer-in-headlights" look on Spikes face. She stopped when she was inches away from him, and reached up to kiss him again. Before he had the chance to say anything to totally ruin the moment, Buffy started speaking. "Spike, these last few weeks without you around have been torture for me. I realize that I want to be with you. I'm not saying that I love you, that's just way too confusing for me to even think about right now, but I do know that not having you in my life is only adding to the hell I feel everyday. But I do know that I have feelings for you, and I was hoping that you would be willing to give me the time to sort out my emotions, but not by myself. I need to be with you Spike".
Her last sentence echoed through his brain like chimes from a bell tower. Was this a dream? A cruel dream that was about to be snatched away from him, just when he'd heard the words he'd wanted to hear for so long? As if she was reading his mind, Buffy said, as she let her hands begin to explore the muscles of his chest and back, "Spike, you're not dreaming. Please, I need to be with you"
With those words, Spike drew Buffy closer to him, and kissed her. Tenderly at first, then deepening as the passion rose between them. Spike scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to his bed, placing her gently down. A small whimper escaped her lips when he broke their kiss to place her on the bed, but then he started kissing her again, holding her close. He pulled back for only a moment, to look in her eyes and ask "Buffy, are you sure this is what you want?" Her reply came as a breathless statement "Yes, Spike. please. I want you".
At that moment they both knew there was no turning back.
Spike could hardly believe that had been almost a year ago. Thanksgiving was drawing close, and he had to chuckle to himself when he thought about how excited Buffy was about the holiday. She was making such a big deal about it; planning a huge dinner for the gang, trying to make sure that everything was perfect. Giles was coming back for her Thanksgiving celebration, and she hoped he would stay with them at least until the New Year. She had even told everyone to come prepared to share what they were thankful for, although none of the scooby's were really keen on making some elaborate mushy speech about being thankful for each other, and most of them were quite afraid of what random things Anya might come up with to blabber on about. But Buffy couldn't wait. She had plans for this thanksgiving, an ulterior motive for her little "say what you're thankful for" time. She was going to tell everyone exactly what she was most thankful for, and she was finally going to tell Spike that she loved him.
Chapter 1: Company's coming
Buffy was frantically dashing around the kitchen, making her shopping list, even though the holiday was still a few days away. Buffy was determined to do her shopping that night, so she wouldn't be so rushed to get everything together for her gathering. She was so excited about Thanksgiving, about the thought of having her closest friends, her family, with her. She wanted everything to be perfect, because she was hoping this would be a Thanksgiving she would never forget. Spike heard her scurrying around, and wondered what she was doing. She scanned over her shopping list, and laid it on the counter with one of her "drafts" of her speech she intended to make on Thanksgiving. The phone rang just as Spike sauntered into the kitchen. "Will you answer that for me, Spike? I'm just finishing up something here" Buffy said as she wrote down the last couple of items on her list. She could feel the change in Spike's mood as soon as he picked up the phone and said hello. As soon as he started talking, she understood why.
"Peaches, what the bloody hell do you want?.. Well that's just none of you business, now is it, mate? Yeah, Whatever. Ok, just a minute"
Great, Buffy thought. What in the bloody hell does he want? This had better be good. She took the phone from Spike as he shoved it her way, and said "Angel?"
Spike listened to her broken, mysterious one-sided conversation. He wished that he knew exactly what Angel was telling her, what crisis he'd come up with to hurt her feelings this time. He tried not to worry about it, though, knowing that Buffy would tell him all about it when she got off the phone. Just then, he heard Buffy say quietly into the phone "well, if you think that's best, then get here when you can, and we'll tell them together. ok, be safe, bye". Now Spike's interest was really peaked. Why in the world was Angel coming to Sunnydale? His attention then drifted to the list and the other piece of paper Buffy had been writing on when he'd come into the room. Just as he was about to pick it up and read it, Buffy snatched the papers up off the counter and stuffed them in her pocket. She leaned over and gave Spike a quick kiss and tried to convince him to come shopping with her. Even though he hated shopping, he agreed to go, hoping to get some information about why his grandsire was gracing them with a visit.
Once inside the market, Spike decided to approach the topic. "So, pet. what was it that you so desperately didn't want me to see on that paper I was about to read in the kitchen?" He watched as her face flushed and she looked at him like a child whose hand had been caught in the cookie jar. "Nothing." She replied, "just my shopping list", which she then produced from her jacket pocket. Spike made a mental note that this little shopping list was not the only paper she'd stuffed into that pocket, but decided to let it go and move on to the subject of Angel. Trying to make his voice sound as calm as he could be, and stifle the anger that just the thought if his name conjured up, he said "Well, then, maybe you'd like to share what the poof called in regard to". Buffy's head snapped up, and Spike was afraid of what she might say in response to that question. "Oh, nothing really important. Just called to say that he was going to be coming through here on his way to investigate some new big bad near Mexico, and that if we didn't mind.he might stop by" she rushed the words out in one breath. She could feel the tension and could tell that the anger was boiling up inside Spike. She decided to continue "Spike, he's only going to be here for a few hours, probably on Thanksgiving day. Will you please, for me, try to be nice? He was a big part of my life you know, and he's bound to pop back up from time to time." She noticed a look of suspicion on his face, but dismissed it as some pent up emotion against Angel. Buffy didn't realize that he had overheard the end of the phone call and what she'd said to Angel. Spike decided just to drop it, and to find out what the real reason for his sudden visit was later. He smiled at her and said "If that's what you want, pet, then I'll try. I would do anything for you if it would make you happy".
Over the next couple of days, though, Spike found that his thoughts were infested with wonderment over the real reason that Angel was coming to town. And it didn't help any that Buffy continued to act so secretive. He would catch her sometimes, writing in a little book, but whenever she realized that he was there she would quickly put it away and try to act like nothing was up. He didn't like the feeling of not trusting her, but then again she wasn't really helping the situation any. The night before Thanksgiving, he found out the reasoning behind her sneakiness. Spike and Buffy were about to go out on one of their late night, post-patrol walks, and as she was coming down the stairs, Buffy called down to Spike and asked him to get her coat for her. When he picked up the coat, the mysterious little piece of paper from earlier that week fell at his feet. Before Buffy got there, Spike swooped it up and put it in his own pocket, deciding to read it later and try to figure out just what was going on. Later that evening, when Buffy was asleep, Spike slipped out of her bed and went to the bathroom to read the note he'd found. It was her Thanksgiving speech, about what she was most thankful for. It started out as your basic stuff, being thankful for friends and family, for the closeness they all shared, etc. But the second part almost sent Spike out to meet the sunrise. Tears formed in his eyes as he read the words, so delicately penned in Buffy's handwriting.
This year, however, I have the most wonderful thing in the world to be thankful for. I am thankful for the blessing of true love, the kind of love that you find only once in a lifetime. And I feel so blessed that the man I love with my whole heart, and my whole being is finally here with us today. He has professed his love to me for years, and now I know that nothing can keep us apart. I'm so thankful for him, and I just wanted to say to him "I love you."
So this is why he was coming to Sunnydale on Thanksgiving. This is what they were going to "tell everyone together". As he sat there and felt sobs rising in his chest, he let Buffy's note fall from his hands to the cold tile of the bathroom floor. Spike couldn't stand to be in that house one more moment. He quickly went downstairs, grabbed his duster, and prepared to leave. Just as he was about to walk out the back door, Dawn appeared in the hallway, and called out to him: "Where you going so early, Spike? Trying to be first in line for fresh muffins at the bakery?" He did not turn to face her, but hissed over his shoulder "I have to leave for a while. Tell the Slayer I'll try to be back later." Dawn wondered what brought about his harsh tone, but she didn't have time to ask him; he was gone in a flash.
Buffy woke up to the very odd feeling of being alone in her bed. She'd not woken up alone a single night since she'd gone to Spike to tell him that she needed him in her life. She still felt groggy from sleep, and called out his name as she was waking up. "Spike.Spike.where are you?" When he didn't answer, she decided to get up and see if he was in the bathroom or the kitchen. The bathroom door was open, and when she glanced in she saw a single sheet of paper lying on the tile floor. When she picked it up and saw what it was, she mused aloud to herself "Hmph.. I wondered where this was. I must've dropped it in here last night. I sure hope Spike didn't see it, or everything will be ruined." Buffy made her way down to the kitchen, and found Dawn sitting at the table, munching on some Count Chocula and humming along to the radio she'd turned on. Dawn looked up and asked Buffy "Did you and Spike have a fight?"
"No. What makes you think that?"
"Well, I just thought you might have by the way he stormed out of here this morning. Definitely not a morning person, that vamp." Dawn chuckled to herself, noting the irony of the joke she'd made.
"What do you mean 'the way he stormed out of here' Dawn, what did he say?" Buffy demanded.
Suddenly Dawn realized that maybe Buffy really didn't know that he was gone, and she hated having to tell her sister what had happened. "Well, I woke up and came down for some water, and Spike was going out the back door. I asked him where he was going so early, and made some joke about him going out to bring us breakfast, but he just snapped back at me that he had to get out of here, and to tell you that he'd try to be back later."
Buffy then told Dawn that he probably left because Angel was coming. Dawn was shocked at that news, and wondered why Buffy hadn't told any of them that Angel was coming to town. All she would say even then was that Angel had some news for everyone and that he thought it was best to tell them in person. Dawn knew how much Spike hated Angel, and the Summers sisters decided that that was probably why Spike had left in such a hurry, he just didn't want to be there when Angel showed up.
TBC.