Viktor… what happened to my Viktor… the one who used to smile at me from the side of the ring. The one who ran on ice to hug me after every skate.. the one who skated with me during our couples era…. What happened to him…

Now I'm faced with a monster… a being that isn't the loving, supportive man I fell in love with… No, I'm faced with a drunk, an addict, and an abuser. Those ice blue eyes that once lovingly now stare at me with contempt, sometimes hatred…. Every now and then, I'll see my Viktor trying to come through… but it's immediately taken over by that monster.

I'm not allowed to speak to my family, we've moved to Russia, what friends I do have, he hardly let's me see… and I don't want to trouble them with my problems, but I'm pretty sure they've caught onto it all. When Yuri sees me, his eyes seem to latch onto my wrists, my arms, and my neck, all of which I think I've covered over with make up. I get self conscious about it all, and try to move so he won't see.

When I come home, he's sitting in his chair, a bottle of vodka in his hand, and pills all over the table… those were only supposed to be to help the pain after he tore his ligaments in his leg. Now, now they are what he uses to… and I don't know how to finish that statement….

"Where were you?" He asks, his tone low, his speech a little slurred.

"I went to see Yurio," I answer, taking off my shoes, "We were,"

I stop, hearing him get off the chair and walk over to me. I looked up and was met with a harsh slap to my face, the force, causing me to fall back into the door. Causing Makkachin to bark. I don't look up, only hold my hand out for him to stop, try to push myself up.

"You were out with him… what did you do?"

"We just went skating is all,"

"Bullshit" he slaps me again. This time hitting me in the mouth. I closed my eyes tasting blood.

"Its true," I speak calmly… I don't want to enrage him even more, but I don't want him to think he can continue to lay hands on me.

"We just went to practice, and catch up, that's all,"

I look at him, seeing him trying to process each word I say, a flash of sorrow comes across his eyes, but than his rage hits harder, "Fucking slut," he mumbles turning away from me, grabbing the bottle and drinking.

His daily insult….. when I am not home, or take longer to get back, I'm sleeping with someone…. I'm being a slut… I let the hurtful word sting, and walk away from it all, and go to the bedroom, laying on the bed.

I hear him in the other room, mocking my voice, slamming the bottle, and hearing him open a new pill bottle… this night is bound to get worst before it gets better, I can tell.

His heavy footsteps seem to echo in the hallway, it's here, I weigh my options…. I could fight him, I have done it before, or I can just let him do what he wants, and hope to god there aren't any bruises… I weigh my options as he stands at the door…. Do I even love him anymore?

The bottle of vodka crashes above the headboard, and I can feel the liquid and glass shards fall on me. I try to get up from the bed, only to feel him push me back down, his full weight on my skull.

"You fucking slut!" I hear him about as his fist his my back, "You fucking belong to me!" He hits me again, causing me to scream out, "You think I'm going to let you leave with him!" He pulls my hair, so much so I could feel a few strands being ripped from the roots. "ANSWER ME!"

I cry, I cry because I can't answer him…. I cry because I don't want to answer him…. He blames me, he blames me for his injury that ended his career. Had I jumped the way he wanted, had I not had an extra pound.. had I not broken a sweat, he wouldn't have slid, he wouldn't have fallen, and he for damn sure wouldn't be beating me.

His assault goes on for a few more minutes, getting to the point where he turned me over and punched me in the face a few times.

"Stop fighting me Yuuri," he demands as I hold my hands up to hide my face from the assault. "I said fucking stop!" He pins my arms above my head.

Those eyes declare this is far from over, as the smell of vodka lingered from his breath, and sweat. He lifted up from me, and understand his belt. I know what's coming next, and I try to get up, push him away but I'm pushed back down and punched once more.

His hands are frantic, they always were when he worked on taking off my pants. He gets them half way off before tying them and squeezing in between my legs. I want this to end, I want him to see what he's doing and stop this, but I feel him enter me roughly.

Each thrust is a million daggers, and j scream out, only to be silenced with a harsh kiss, one that ends with him biting my lip hard, drawing more blood.

"You're mine Yuuri… why can't you under stand that!" He thrusts again, "You're always going to be mine!"

I cry, that's all I could do… my body was aching, my eyes almost swollen shut….

"I'm sorry," I whispered among my cries.

I'm sorry Viktor, I'm sorry for all I have done… I'm sorry I ruined your career, I'm sorry I kept skating, I'm sorry you hate me so much, I'm sorry….

It all ends with him grabbing my hands, holding them tightly, and crying to me his love until he passed out…. In the morning he won't remember a thing… but maybe in the morning, he won't remember his husband either.

I wait until he's off me, and slide over on the bed slowly, making sure to not wake him up… only to feel his heavy arm grab around my waist.

I slowly move, so that his hand no longer is on me, and I get up from the bed, grabbing my clothes.

There's one more thing I'm sorry for, my sweet Viktor….. I'm sorry I won't stay…

The end