Cinderella-HIMYM Style
Once in a far away land, possibly modern day France, there lived a wealthy man named Barnabus. He lived in a huge elaborate mansion with all the frills and what-nots. He was one of the first people in his town to have a bathroom with indoor plumbing and a toilet like the ones we are familiar with. The toilet seat was fixed up in such a way that if the seat was down, it would automatically go back up (patent pending). In the main living room stood a suit of armor that he so treasured. Every nook and cranny of his house was designed in such a way that it only catered to male tastes. Not one iota of anything feminine existed in the apartment.
The man was loaded because he had a cushy job at the Royal Goliath National Bank. But his job remained a mystery. Any time somebody would ask him what he did for a living at the bank, he merely chuckled and replied, "Please."
One day when Barnabus was sitting cozily in his mansion looking at a book of female nude drawings, he heard a knock on the door. He went to answer it. No one was there, but at the steps he saw a baby in a basket with a note pinned to it. It read:
Dear Barnabus:
This is your child. During our courtship we weren't careful, and I got pregnant. Because of the social stigmas of this day and age, I cannot be the girl's mother. To atone for my sins, I must go and join a convent. Please tell her I'll always love her. Her name is Cinder-Ellie.
Sincerely,
Number 31
Barnabus took the basket into the house, and hesitatingly picked up the baby. Upon seeing her face, his heart melted and tears ran down his cheeks.
"You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever," he said as he kissed the baby's forehead.
As the years progressed, Barnabus' house did not change much except for a few things. He made Cinder-Ellie's room totally pink and purple with lace designs, dolls, dollhouses, fancy dresses, the works. All the toilet seats were now fixed in such a way that the toilet seats went back down after flushing, if he lifted it up to drain his lizard. He would often be seen in the town square giving her piggback rides and laughing heartily. At night he'd read her fairy tales and sing her lullabies. Sometime when she had nightmares she run to his room and sleep by his side.
When the girl was 10, Barnabus felt that Cinder-Ellie needed a mother-figure in her life. The problem was Number 31 had joined the convent, taken a vow to celibacy, and never kept in touch with him. So he started courting the young maidens of the village. One day a beautiful blue-eyed brunette moved into the town. She appeared to be of German, Dutch, or Russian descent. Her name was Robina Van Scherbatsky.
Barnabus was instantly smitten with this radiant girl.
"She is beautiful. I'm going to marry her," he thought.
One day, Barnabus and Cinder-Ellie went to local tavern to have a meal. While they were eating, Robina entered. All the males in the restaurant stood mesmerized. However, Barnabus did not break into a sweat. He and Ellie approached the beautiful exotic creature.
Cinder-Ellie said, "Hello, Madam. Have you met my dad?"
Robina said, "No. Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Robina Van Scherbatsky."
Barnabus replied, "Nice to meet you too, Madam. I'm Barnabus Julien Stinsonier."
It was love at first sight. They courted for several months. They enjoyed each others' company and Robina became very fond of Cinder-Ellie, like she was her own daughter. Then one day, Barnabus, popped the question and Robina happily accepted.
It was a successful marriage which only lasted three years. One day at GNB, Barnabus felt dizzy and started puking. He decided to go home and rest. Severeal days passed by, and the symptoms got worse with Barnabus getting weaker. The doctors diagnosed him with a disease that was fatal at that time and it was caused by contaminated food that he ate at a bazaar. He died a week later with Robina and Cinder-Ellie by his side.
A few days after the funeral, the lawyer, Marcel Ericfils, came to the mansion to discuss Barnabus' will. According to the will, Robina was bequeathed with what is roughly equivalent to four million dollars today. The rest of the wealth and property went to Cinder-Ellie. The will basically stated what he had said when he first met his daughter: "Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever." Robina was to be Cinder-Ellie's guardian and manage the estate, but in the end, it was going to Cinder-Ellie.
After Barnabus' death, Robina changed. She didn't want anything to do with the raising of this sad grieving kid. So she treated her horribly. When Cinder-Ellie had nightmares, Robina refused to let her sleep in her room. When she grieved over the loss of her dad, Robina would not even lend her a shoulder to cry upon.
"If he dies, he dies," she would say.
Robina fired all the housekeeping staff and made Cinder-Ellie do all the cooking and cleaning. If the house wasn't spic and span or if the cooking was atrocious, Robina would slap her and beat her with a ladle. Often Cinder-Ellie would be sent to sleep in Barnabus' suit room. The smells from the suits would make her cry more.
"Dad," she cried, "Where are you? I sometimes wish for my death so I can be with you again. And where is my mommy?"
Marcel would sometimes come over to make sure Cinder-Ellie was okay. But every time he visited, Robina would make her feign comfort and happiness at the risk of getting beaten. During one opportune moment, when Robina was not looking. Cinder-Ellie confided in him, giving him a letter and told him to give it to the constables. The letter was a request to find the convent where her mother was stationed. Marcel promised he'd do his best, but because warned her that it could take years to track down her biological mom. There was no internet back then, of course.
About a year and a half later, Robina got a letter from Utrecht informing her that her sister Katerina and her husband both died from typhoid fever, leaving behind 2 daughters around the age group of Cinder-Ellie. Consequently, Robina agreed to take custody of her two nieces and let them stay at her house (which really only belonged to Cinder-Ellie according to Barnabus' will). When Robina informed Cinder-Ellie about the arrival of the two step-cousins, Drizella and Anastasia, Cinder-Ellie felt a ray of hope. Maybe Robina would become the warm caring stepmom that she used to know.
Or so she thought. When Anastasia and Drizella arrived at Cinder-Ellie's home. Robina introduced her as the insignificant housemaid. Worse, the girls called dibs on Cinder-Ellie's bedroom, thus making Barnabus' old suit room her new permanent bedroom. That night, as Cinder-Ellie was crying two cockamice crawled out from a hole in the wall.
"Hey little girl, why are you crying?" asked the first cockamouse.
"My dad died a few years ago, and the woman who used to be a caring stepmother transformed into a heartless bitch! And now her 2 ugly nieces stole my bedroom and my possessions. Everything is disappearing before my eyes!" cried Cinder-Ellie.
"So you're an orphan?" asked the second cockamouse.
"Well my real mom supposedly joined a convent when I was very little. I asked my father's lawyer to find her. It has been one and a half years. I don't know if she is still alive!"
"Look, I can see how lonely and sad you must be. Don't give up hope. One day you'll get out of this hell hole," said the first cockamouse. "By the way, my name is Jaq."
"And my name is Gus," said the second cockmouse. "We'll be you friends and help you in any way we can.
"Thank you," sighed Cinder-Ellie as she brushed the tears from her cheeks.