Chapter 1

"The angels, they're... falling" Cas gasped "they are falling straight from Heaven and it's all my fault"
"No, this wasn't you, it was Mettatron, he stabbed us all in the back the son-of-a-bitch" Dean growled back.
"Because of me, Dean, don't you understand? It was MY grace he took. This whole thing is my fault."
Dean could see how upset Cas was. He didn't like to see his best friend, hell, they were family and he didn't like to see his family like this.
"Come on, we're going to find the nearest god damn bar and drink until we can't stand any more" his face was serious. Cas just hung his head and followed Dean down the road and back to the Impala.
They had been driving for about ten minutes before either one of them spotted the bright neon sign that just said 'BAR'. "That'll do!" Dean exhaled as he turned into the parking lot.
"Can we just go in now please Dean?"
"Of course we can"
So they went into the Bar, sat down and ordered two beers. The radio was turned on, by the time the song changed they had gotten through two beers each "up next Comeback by Redlight King" said the voice Cas wasn't used to this kind of music but they sat and listened in silence, just drinking and listening. Dean started to chuckle at Cas trying to get into the song. Until it happened, Cas was bobbing his head and then that line played, 'where the fallen angels sleep'. Cas remembered the reason he was drowning his sorrows in a bar in the middle of nowhere with Dean and began to sob.
"Hey, it's okay, it's just a song, 'the dark horse keeps on fighting'" Dean was quoting the song "you're the dark horse Cas, you gotta keep fighting this"
Cas looked up at Dean, tears running down his face, Dean wiped them away. By now everyone was looking at them.
"Come on, let's get outta here, it's a shit hole anyway" Dean made sure everyone in the entire bar could hear him; they walked out and went back to the car.
"Should you be driving Dean?" Cas had concern in his voice
"It's fine" Dean laughed "I've only had two"
"Just be careful okay" Cas whispered as he climbed into the passenger seat.
Dean was already in the car, he watched Cas climb in, never taking his eyes off him. "That's it, we're finding another bar."
"One nearer to the motel?" Cas asked
"Yeah"

They drove back to the motel, parked up and told Sam where they were heading.
"Well I'll come too, let me just put my shirt on and get my coat"
"No Sammy, you've been through hell tonight, you need to sleep"
"Dean's right Sam"
Sam didn't bother to argue, he knew they were right, "just be careful" and that was all he had to say.
"Hey, when am I not"
Sam just chuckled and turned around to get into bed.
"So where's this bar then Dean?"
"Who the hell knows?" was all he said.
They walked for what felt like ages until they were drawn out of this silent trance they were in by the flashing lights.
"Well I like the look of this!" Dean exclaimed
"But this is a topless bar?" Cas was confused
"I need it"
Cas couldn't understand what Dean meant by this but he went with him anyway. They sat down in the booth, it wasn't like a regular bar, it was posh. Booths, mirrors on the celling, no one had to go to the bar (unless they wanted to see the woman behind it shaking up cocktails), other women took their drink orders and when they were done took them back to the customers. This bar even had food, real food and desert. They ordered a beer each and dean got some pie, cherry.
"I like this place, beer, pie, this place is like heav…"
"Like Heaven" Cas finished Dean's sentence for him
"Come on, I didn't mean it like that" Dean whispered to a whimpering Cas. "Stop whimpering.. or I'll give you a reason to whimper" he winked at Cas
"I don't understand" Cas replied "why are you winking at me?"
"Forget it"
"Have I upset you Dean?"
Dean didn't reply, he just sat there drinking his beer, after devouring his pie within minutes, and absent-mindedly staring at the women working. They sat in silence drinking for twenty minutes before Cas noticed that Dean wasn't listening to a word he was saying so he thought he would take this as his opportunity to tell Dean how he feels.
Better make sure first Cas thought
"Dean, you have spilled your beer" he waited a moment, no reply "Sam is in trouble" still nothing "Dean I have my angel powers back" he thought that would surely catch Deans attention, but it didn't. "I love you Dean" he didn't reply, but Cas felt better now that he had said it.

Little did he know, Dean was actually listening to him, he just wasn't in the mood to talk much after the day's events. He knew he should say something, but what? After spending ten minutes ignoring him what was he supposed to do, just turn his head and say "I love you too Cas"? He knew he couldn't do that, it wouldn't be right. So he just continued ignoring Cas.
"Dean! Please just listen to me!" Cas was shouting now
"What?"
Cas could tell Dean was either angry or upset, or even both. "I want to go home"
"Okay" Dean whispered "let's go"
They stood up to go to the bar and pay the bill before they left, Dean left a $10 tip on the table for their waitress. As they made their way across the brightly lit room, the sound of music from the dance floor that had gone unnoticed all night became clear "well don't look away, from the arms of a moment, don't look away, from the arms of love" could be heard by both Cas and Dean for the entire walk to the bar.
"What's this song Dean? I like it"
"It's called The Forgotten, it's by Green Day" Dean replied
"Oh, I've never heard of it" Cas said quietly.
"Yeah, well I'm gonna have to teach you all about rock music aren't I" Dean smirked
Cas smiled at him.
The rest of the walk to the bar was in silence, they paid their bill and left. They turned left when they were through the door and started to walk home, after walking for about two minutes Cas stumbled. Dean dived to his friends aid, catching him, one hand tightly gripping the arm of Cas' that was closest to him and the other hand supporting Cas' chest, pushing him back up to his feet.
"Thank you Dean" Cas sighed "I thought I was going to fall"
"We can't have that now can we" Dean smiled at Cas "Are you okay walking or do you want me to carry you? It's not far now"
"I think I'll be okay walking"
"Okay"
So they carried on walking, Dean never letting go of Cas' arm, holding him up the whole time.
"You've only had five beers all night Cas, how the hell are you so drunk?" Dean asked, he didn't require an answer.
"Dean, I have been an Angel my entire life, I've only ever been drunk once and that was Ellen and Jo."

Dean didn't want to think about Ellen and Jo right now, he knew they had gone up to Heaven along with his mother, Bobby and the rest of his family, not just his biological family. He didn't want to think about what might have happened to them when the Angels fell, he didn't even know if anything would have happened to them, either way he didn't want to think about it.
"Come on Cas, I thought you wanted to go back"
"I said I wanted to go home, I want everything to go back to how it was, before any of this, before I killed all of those Angles the other year, MY home, back to my family"
"I understand" Dean looked at him sympathetically "me and Sam are your family now, we have been ever since we met you and.."
"Dean, I-"
"Yeah, I know"
"Do you?" Cas was worried now, what was Dean talking about? What did Dean think HE was talking about? Had he heard when Cas told him he loved him?
"Yeah, I lost my family too remember"
"Oh, I remember, I'm sorry Dean"
"Come on, we better get back before Sam gets worried"
So they picked up their pace, Cas was a bit steadier on his feet now.
"Can we stop a minuet?"
"If you want" Dean replied
So they stood for a while Cas was leaning on a nearby street lamp and Dean was stood in front of him, waiting to catch Cas if he fell over.
"Are you okay now?"
"There was never anything wrong" Cas replied "I just wanted to take longer getting back, I like spending time with you Dean"
Dean smiled and let out a little breathy laugh "back at you Cas"
The next few minutes were spent with the pair of them staring into each other's eyes. Dean was trying not to blink in case something happened to Cas when he did. As an Angel he'd had a habit of disappearing when Dean blinked and Dean never wanted that to happen again. But the moment was perfect, neither of them wanted to blink because they couldn't bear to miss a thing. Cas finally blinked, it was a long blink, he began to worry when he couldn't see Dean's eyes, so when he opened them and saw those beautiful green eyes, glistening under the streetlight he just sighed, it's all he could bring himself to do because he had no words. Neither did Dean.

"We should probably get back now" Dean sounded tired
"I agree"
They were practically in the Motel parking lot anyway, the bar they were at was literally down the street. They walked up to the door, Dean still supporting Cas as they walked. When they got to the door Dean had to get the keys out of his jeans pocket, so Cas put his arm around Dean's neck and leaned on him, using Dean to support himself while he opened the door.
"Shhh"
"Okay" mouthed Cas as they walked over to the double bed on the other side of the room.
Sam was already asleep, he didn't even stir when the door creaked open, or when Cas stumbled.
"What are the sleeping arrangements?" Cas asked Dean
"Erm" Dean didn't even finish his sentence, he fell onto the soft bed, pulling Cas, who was still using him for support, down with him.
"This works" Cas said to himself. He wriggled out from underneath Dean's muscular arm and took a minuet to assess the situation. Eventually he decided he would take off Dean's shoes and shirt; leaving him in just his jeans and put him in the bed properly. He was just pulling the duvet over him when Dean rolled over to face him and mumbled
"Come here, come to bed"
Cas didn't even stop to think. He took off his shoes and coat and climbed into bed next to Dean. He couldn't fall asleep though, he just lay there, staring at Dean as he slept, his eyes shut tight and his mouth slightly open. Cas had never seen anything more beautiful, or even equally as beautiful. For Cas it felt like hours had passed and he was still staring at Dean. He couldn't sleep, his eyelids were heavy but he just couldn't keep his eyes closed. Every time Dean stirred, even remotely, Cas began to panic about Dean's reaction to him being in the same bed. This stayed on Cas' mind for a while, until eventually he realized, Dean invited him. Therefore it was Dean's fault. Eventually Cas closed his eyes tight and went to sleep.