Hey everyone how is going? It's me again!

(Random booing and hissing followed by a barrage of tomatoes.)

(I pull a random shield out.)

Me: HA I got a shield assholes. You can't touch this!

(The crowd keeps throwing food at me)

Me: Anyways... welcome once again to my Fanfiction. I have decided to start another story without finishing my other two. Why you may ask? Because I like waiting for review, criticism, and inspiration to hit me. I'm actually finished with the last chapter of my Hetalia story but I'm still changing stuff. Drakengard is property of Square Enix, Ubisoft, and Take-Two Interactive.

(Someone from the crowd jumps forward with tomatoes and dynamite strapped to his chest.)

Me: OH GOD!

Help From a Mad Elf.

Furiae had been traveling around with the Union for awhile now. Most of them were badly hurt and afraid, their confidence coming from her brother and his pact with the red dragon, along with Verdelet's preaching although that was getting rather annoying to say the least.

Honestly she found it a miracle that Caim hadn't lost his mind and killed the priest yet. Not that she would wish something terrible on the poor old man but she could tell that Caim was always close to snapping and losing his cool whenever the topic of forgiveness and mercy to the empire was brought up. Somehow it had something to do with having someone to watch after me that kept Verdelet alive.

Even she had times where she wanted to bash him on the head with that staff of his but because she was nice and kind it would be impolite. So she had to wait for the old man to keel over in his sleep, or wait for him fall down a river and drown, or push him off the red dragon, or whatever the hell it would be because she was getting sick and tired of his shit. Honestly, he couldn't win in a fight against a blind and crippled child let alone protect her from a soldier of the Empire.

Even Inuart would be better, at least he has a sword and looks like he could try to protect her right? At least that's what she liked to believe. Ah Who the hell was she kidding, her ex-fiancé was about as strong as a piece of broccoli and as hard as a bunny rabbit. He had a wonderful singing voice sure and would always say nice things to cheer her up but there is a limit to how important that is during a fight. It was cruel of her to think it but she actually pitied him, he was like a lost little puppy looking for love.

But her brother...he was another thing entirely. He was strong, swift, resourceful, gallant, smart, sexy, had a nice ass, chiseled abs, beautiful eyes, smooth skin, and was definitely well "endowed." She found that out one night when she had caught him bathing and cleaning blood from his armor. It looked like it was big enough to hunt with. Needless to say she remembered that sight every night before she went to sleep. Hey, it's not her fault her she was attracted to her brother and his awesome body.

At first she was ashamed of her feelings. They were forbidden and wrong and would never be accepted by anyone, least of all Caim. But the more she tried to push away her feelings the stronger he became, it got to the point where she would try to catch glimpses of him bathing and imagining what they would do if they were ever alone.

She always imagined kissing him under the moon light, him holding her gently, carefully leading her down onto a bed, touching her in place she could only imagine, and finally ravishing her over and over again till they were forever whole. It was sick and twisted she knew but it wasn't like she could turn her horniess on and off on a whim. It took concentration, resistance, the imagining of her parents dying or Inuart's pecker, which was probably so small it could fit in a key hole. That one always made her laugh on the inside and help her smile outward. Strangely, it brought moral to the troops to see her so happy even if it was of the most childish reasons.

As she gazed out to her brother and his dragon. His pact partner was waiting to recover from her run in with the black dragon. When she saw Inuart riding that thing it brought back so many horrid memories that she didn't even need to try and think of something. It was the biggest turn off in history. As her once husband to be tried to fight Caim she thought it was over and done with for Inuart. She honestly didn't want fighting but it was nothing she could do.

But then unthinkable happened. Caim was knocked square on his ass from Inuart's attack. INUART! Who the hell gave him so much power to make him so cool? She admitted she was slightly turned on, on how manly he became but that was over at the same time when she saw her brother get up and charge toward his dragon who was in the middle of having it's throat ripped out. When the black Dragon turned it's attention to Caim she feared for the worst, but was relieved and horrified that the dragon covered him at the last moment, even though it cause her great pain.

As Inuart walked toward her he looked like one of those pedophiles looking at a small boy, not that she would have any idea what that would be like. Suddenly the thought to be useless Verdelet stepped forward to protect her. It was so awesome that the old man stood in face of danger and didn't shit himself. Of course that was over when Inuart basically bitch smacked him to the ground. Hey, it was more then she expected that's for sure.

Just as he was about to touch her she felt the large hand pull her back. She looked to see who it was and saw the blind hermit blocking Inuart from her. The mad elf woman casually strolled up alongside him and prepared for a fight.

"You will not harm the goddess." he said. He may be blind but 'm sure he'd be giving off the most evil glare right now because Inuart flinched for a moment.

"Ha finally I get to kill something. You might not be a child but I'm getting very hungry. Beggars can't be choosers I suppose." she said. Her laugh was carefree but could not have been more scary.

It was clear why Leonard wanted to protect her but to have Arioch threatening to eat you must have scared Inuart shitless because he was slowly backing away. The pact partners of both of them appeared next to them. The fairy, was laughing like it was a joke while the two embodiments of fire and ice just stood there floating.

"Ha ha ha ha oh Leonard its funny to see you stand up to someone. But remember your no match for him. He's going to kill you, KILL YOU, just run away and live Leonard ha ha ha. the fairy laughed in her high pitch voice.

"You should listen to your obnoxious flying vermin hermit. You don't stand a chance." Inuart said. he was trying to sound tough but it wasn't working well. Too forced.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?! You worthless pathetic little human. Leonard I take back what I said, destroy this fool. Make him scream and bleed like the pussy he is." she laughed. For once Leonard and her agreed on something and he readied his pole arm to fight. Arioch was still smiling evilly and her pack partners had turned into a ball of a raging fire and a violently shaking orb of ice.

"Run" the mad elf said. Of course she had no intention of letting Inuart get away, she immediately lunged at him and was close to biting him as she swung her weapon. She laughed like a mad woman while she did it too which made her creepy factor go up a few hundred notches. Leonard charged as well, stabbing at him with his pole arms and breaking his guard. The fairy was using her powers to cast homing missiles at Inuart which she could tell was hurting him and causing the fairy enjoyment. The twin elementals also joined in, throwing giant balls of fire and ice and driving Inuart back. Suffice it to say, her ex-fiancé was fucked. Like up the ass without any lube fucked. Once again she had no idea how that felt like. And then he did something she knew he would do.

He turned tail and ran like a little bitch.

" RETREAT! WE GOT TO GO NOW!" he screamed as he ran away from the two psychopaths following. He turned around once more and squealed, that right, SQUEALED like a little girl as he ran away. With both Arioch and Leonard close behind the black dragon quickly bolted forward to help his partner, shielding him just as Arioch and Leonard fired their attacks at him. Oh man was the dragon pissed, it looked like he was going to explode he looked so angry. He writhed in pain for a bit before Inuart jumped on his back.

"LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" he yelled. With that the dragon flew off albeit with a bad wing. Both pact users kept firing the attacks at them, a few of Leonard's actually hit and made the dragon cry more. But soon they were too far to gone.

"HA HA HA pathetic humans! PATHETIC! You should learn your place in the world and kneel down before me. Run you pathetic little bitch, go crawl back into the ass that shit you out. HA HA HA HA" The fairy cackled. Leonard looked relieved that all went well. Arioch looked a bit disappointed.

"Oh damn, my dinner got away. Oh well, does anybody see a child anywhere?" she said. Leonard and fairy just stared at her and backed away a bit.

"I guess that's a no then. No matter, I'll find one soon enough." she said. The smile on her face would normally be a pleasant one if it weren't about looking for children to eat.

"CAIM" Furiae yelled. She saw her brother was nestling the dragon and trying to comfort it but I had to check if he was safe. Both of the other pact wielder came too, Leonard first because Arioch noticed Verdelet on the ground and was probably considering whether to eat him or not. She must of decided not because she ran over the rest of them shortly. The old man probably shat himself to seem unappetizing which is why he's probably still alive. She wouldn't put it past him.

Her brother only answered her with a glare but didn't stop his sister from hugging and trying to comfort him. He still held onto the dragon while she held him. Arioch and Leonard just stared at the spectacle, the siblings were having a touching moment and they didn't feel it right to disturb them. But fairy wasn't like that.

"Oh god will you two just get a room already? Honestly all this human lovey dovey shit is making me nauseas."

"Fairy! Show a little respect, this is not the time." Leonard scolded.

"Humph is not like I'm talking about you and that elf lady there. You two have an interest in the younger crowd after all." she laughed. Leonard looked flabbergasted while Arioch just looked annoyed. She loved children but she wasn't willing to fuck them to suit her needs.

Arioch paused for a minute in thought. Come to think of it, she hasn't enjoyed the company of a man in so long she forgot what it felt like. But as she looked around all she had to go for was a blind pedophile, a psychotic dragon rider, a teenage girl, an old priest, a fairy, a dragon, and two elemental spirits. Caim would be the best option but odds are he wouldn't get near her willingly, not after what happened.

Now after that event Furiae once again resulted to stalking her brother when he bathed at night. Somehow she always felt he knew she was their but didn't say anything. Most because he couldn't say anything, being mute an all. As she was peeping in on Caim and getting a good look at his backside she saw him turn around and look straight at her. Their eyes locked for a moment, time seemingly slowed down until his eyes went wide from being exposed, even though it was dark the moon showed a bit of his face. He'd forgotten to cover himself up because his sister was now had a full frontal view of her brothers package.

She was starting to get lost in his eyes for a few moments, before realizing she'd been caught red handed and ran away. She never had felt so embarrassed in her life. Now her brother is going to find out she's a pervert and never speak to her again...or...whatever. She could only hope that when he went to bed he would wake up and not remember any of this. She could just say she went on a walk and "accidently" saw him bathe and was worried someone would catch him and decided to be look out so he wouldn't get attacked. Yeah that's what she'll tell him.

As morning came the next day Furiae went to put her plan into action. She had to cover herself for what happened last night. Her excuse sounded legitimate so he would believe her of course. Her brother was always a little too trusting when it came to her. Now all she had to do was find him. The dragon was still healing from the burns two days ago and would probably need another day just to be safe. For now she had to look for Caim.

Finally after much looking she was able to find a bandaged Verdelet sitting on a nearby log muttering a prayer to himself. Nothing important but he still looked like he was in a lot of pain. Kudos for an old man getting up and continuing his routine even though he a near dead and older then dirt. He didn't seem to notice her, still locked in prayer. Thank god he wouldn't notice her, she didn't want to listen to his lectures about gods or morality right now.

As she snuck past the old man she came across a shirtless Arioch leaving her tent...or rather...Leonard's tent. Arioch didn't seem to notice but Furiae could plainly see the elf woman's perky breasts in the morning air. She was fumbling to get her shirt on when she noticed the eyes of the goddess on her.

She stopped for a moment, looking at the goddess staring at her breasts. Before she could say a word a loud yawn escaped her mouth and she automatically stretched on impulse, once again showing Furiae a nice full frontal view of her "assets." Furiae looked at her own chest and felt a little self conscious on her appearance. She gently cupped her own boobs and compared them to Arioch who by this time had finished stretching.

"What are you doing?" Arioch asked.

"Oh..I-I..um..well..you see...I..um h-have you seem my brother anywhere?" she responded nervously. She didn't want to tell Arioch that she was comparing breast sizes.

The mad elf smiled, she had been dreadfully bored this adventure aside from the killing and cannibalism and she needed to have some fun. Teasing the goddess wasn't a crime.

"Yes I do."

"Great where is he?"

"I'm not sure I should tell you."

"What? Why not?!"

"Well what's in it for me."

"Forget it I'll find him on my own." she was about to leave when the elf woman wrapped her arms around her, pressing her boobs up against Furiae's back.

"Oh come now, your brother is out scouting and for food and left us in charge of watching you. After what happened with the priest he didn't want to take any chances." Arioch said. The elf turned the goddess around to face her, still showing her naked upper half.

"So I guess it's just you and us now." she said a little seductively. The face Furiae was showing was absolutely priceless, all flustered and red. She knew Caim would be cross with her but she was sure he wouldn't kill her, not if she played her cards right anyways. It took some restraint to stop herself from laughing.

"So why don't you tell me why exactly you were staring at my boobies." she said, emphasizing the word boobies sensually.

"Well you see...I...uh...please listen it's not what you think...I-"

"Oh I get it now, you're a little pervert aren't you?" Arioch teased. She couldn't help but giggle a little.

"Wanted to see what the tits of a adult did you? Or maybe it's because I'm an elf that drew you near, well which is it?" Arioch was starting to lean in, making Furiae blush. She was sure the girl was never put in a situation like this before but this was just so much fun she just couldn't stop.

"W-w-well y-y-you see I was just...was just" Furiae mind was drawing a blank on what to say.

"I wanted to compare" she blurted out. This came as a bit of a shock to Arioch considering that she was hoping to embarrass the girl more but this could be interesting none the less.

"Why were you comparing? Were you feeling a bit self conscious just now?" she teased. The girl nodded. Her joke still made her laugh but after seeing the sad expression on Furiae's face it was clear that this had gone on long enough. With a sigh Arioch felt in necessary to comfort the child, less she tattle on her to Caim.

"Ok child tell me what's wrong, I promise to not laugh." she said sincerely. Furiae seemed a little resistant to talk but after she took a long breath in and out she was ready.

"Well lately I been feeling, nervous about my appearance. I know people call me beautiful but I feel that's just because I'm a goddess. I feel like I never get a truthful answer out of people sometimes, but when I see you I just feel a little... I don't know...plain I guess. Now I see what a true beautiful woman looks like and I guess I feel a little...inadequate." Furiae admitted.

Arioch was stunned to say the least. Furiae, the most beloved and beautiful goddess in the land, was jealous of her. It made her feel special that someone so lovely and powerful felt envious of her figure. Now with a happier attitude she felt the need to help the poor girl out.

"Well sweetie it's something that all women have. I had to raise children so when I was pregnant my breasts needed to make nourishment. When that happened they increased in size to hold milk, not to mention the breast feeding to feed the babies helped a lot." she said happily. It felt nice giving advice on how women were. She saw Furiae look at her own breast and smile a little. She didn't think about how her own children were viciously slaughtered by the Empire or how her "taste's" came to be. I guess the compliment did a great job f distracting her.

"I wonder if Caim would like them..." she muttered.

"Caim? You want to show Caim?!" Arioch yelled.

"Shhhh shush, not so loud please." she begged.

"Sorry, it's just so...strange that I just lost myself is all. I mean it just sounds so crazy and wrong. "

"You're a mad child eating elf traveling with a mute dragon rider with a love for killing, a pedophile hermit with an obnoxious fairy, a goddess who wants to fuck her brother, and an annoying priest preaching on mercy to the Empire. Trust me sister, we hit strange, crazy, and wrong a long fucking time ago." she said.

"Good point. Well in that case I wish the best of luck to you and your brother." Arioch didn't care about Furiae problem. It wasn't as if they were friends or anything. As she turned around to leave she felt a pair of hands grab her chest from behind.

"Please wait! Look I know this is strange and I know it's not something you'd want to do but I don't know who else to turn to. Please I need your help!" she begged. It must have been a sad sight for the goddess to beg for help, especially from a insane elf woman, but she had nobody else to go to.

Arioch thought about this for a moment. She didn't care for the goddess as a person and wasn't all affected with her dying, her madness always seem to help push away her thoughts. In fact it was a god damn miracle she acted as sane as she was today. Maybe because she raped Leonard last night. A little tumble in the bed sheets can do wonders for stress, even if the man isn't particularly happy to be with a woman for once instead of a boy. He was surprisingly good though so at least it was worth it. Come to think about it he wasn't totally against the idea, she just wasn't his preference so it didn't matter in the end. Wait what she talking about again?

As Arioch tried to remember what the point of her thoughts were she remembered the goddess hugging her boobs from behind and how she wanted to show her brother what how much of a woman she was. Maybe she'd help after all. Who knows? Maybe this will be fun.

"Alright dear I'll help."

"Really?! Oh thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. I promise to repay you when this is all over. Oh thanks you!" Furiae cheered. She had never felt so happy in a long time. Finally, she'll get to be more than just a sister to her brother, she would be his lover.

"Ok but before we can do that can you do me two small favors?"

"Sure what is it?"

"Can you let go of my boobs? It's very cold outside." Furiae let go immediately. She completely forgot that Arioch was topless.

"Oh god I'm sorry! What's the second thing." Arioch quietly put her shirt on over her now erect nipples. It was shocking how she could be so calm about something like this. Then again she was insane.

"I want you to go cook today, I'm going to go hunt for some food."

"But Caim already left to get food."

"I meant get my type of food." Arioch said with a smile.

Even though it disgusted Furiae that Arioch would do something so horrible, she wanted to be with her brother more. For now, she'd just suck it up and deal with it.

"Alright you got a deal." she agreed. And with that, Arioch disappeared to hunt down some unlucky child in a village. It was all for Caim though, so long as she had Caim in the end none of it would matter. At least that's what she's going to keep telling herself.

Ok people I'm finally done with this chapter.

(Crowd cheers.)

And I'm completely fine thanks for asking.

(The crowd goes quite.)

Yeah that suicide tomato bomb didn't shit against me. Suck it!

(Crowd starts throwing food again)

(I pull my shield out of nowhere)

Alright now I wanted to try to be random here because I'm a little bored at the moment so please Review and comment people. I'd very much appreciate it. Seriously I would, even if it's just to complain I need reviews. I will be making more stories of different things as I go along. And this includes stories for Drakengard 2 because I haven't played Drakengard 3 yet. And yes I will still continue my other stories so don't worry.

REVIEW!