I shuffled down Hester's abandoned halls. Hester High after hours, I mused. Continuing on I stopped for a moment as I walked past the school's darkroom. Peering through the window, I couldn't really make out anything all, only red infrared lights that seemed to fill the room with a certain glow. I moved back, leaning against the bare stone wall. I heard a girl's voice emerge from inside the room; she grunted and groaned trying her hardest to open the door as she pressed her weight against it.

Shimmying and shifting while prying through the small space in the doorway that she'd managed to make. I quickly assisted, pulling the door all the way open. The girl sauntered out of the room, multiple bags in hand. It was mostly photo equipment along with her other belongings only a schoolbag I think. She motioned to move to aside; with a shaky hand she clutched the key in her hand gripping it rather tightly.

"I'll get it for you" The girl loosened her grip as I took the key from her hand and locked the door. I quickly turned back around when-

"Damn it!" the girl exclaimed in frustration. With seemingly everything on her person ranging from; cameras, folders with laminated sleeves that housed her newest prints, an empty cartographers tube on her back along her backpack and other small things on hand it was inevitable that something was bound to fall. She hit the floor scrambling to pick up all the prints that were now strewn all over the fortunately empty hallway.

I knelt down and helped picked up a variety of prints that had fallen near me and hurried to pick the others. I reached over and gave the girl the handful of prints I'd recovered.

"Thanks" she said softly, sniffling quietly. A small smile filled her features as she turned and looked at me, and I was speechless.

This girl has the most beautiful smile and tantalizing eyes that could melt your heart. Enchanting turquoise hair that- NO, n-no, no, NO! I quickly shook my head in embarrassment. I- no! I smiled back, my face was flushed. "Y-you're a photographer" I stammered weakly, clearing my throat.

"Oh… uh yeah I am" the girl said quietly, picking up the last of the prints. "Thanks again for your help" She pulled herself up then picked the folder up from off the floor. She adjusted her snapback slightly waving goodbye before sauntering down the hall.

"Bye" I said, waving back. I unzipped my bag, and fumbled around for my water bottle. Taking a big swig, gulping loudly as it went down. I took a deep breath and kept walking till I found the art studio. When I reached for the doorknob, I shuddered as though I knew something bad was about to happen. I brushed it off dismissing the fact that the door was unlocked. Maybe Mr. Locke's around, Mr. Locke is a really nice guy he's been the art teacher here at Hester for a good while now.

I walked around the room looking intently at the paintings on the wall, and few canvases that I passed by. I headed into the adjoining room, which is empty most days it's mainly a big work room for large solo or group projects.

I headed round the corner growing suspicious as I began hearing moaning and giggling coming from the back. As I got closer I thought I recognized a voice. It can't be. I-It can't. "I must be hearing things" I tried to tell myself. I refused to move any further but there was a rift between my heart and my head. My heart was saying; she's with you, so she must love you. My head on other hand was saying; she may love you, but is she in love with you? My heart was the more naïve one between them, the part of myself I so desperately wanted to listen to. The part I wished I'd listened to instead.

I moved a little closer, I hid behind the bookshelf peeking through the empty space between two books that had caught my eye. I slowly looked over and my heart just sank, I ran as fast as I could tears welling up in my eyes. My throat felt really sore it hurt when I swallowed. I could feel a tightness building in my chest, while I moved as fast and as far as my legs could take me.

"A-Amy please!" Karma huffed, as she hastily ran down the crowded hallway in the other part of school and cut through the quad.

The redhead darted past the bustling cliques and activities around her; raising a hand to her chest she gripped her tank top taking a deep breath. Wincing through furrowed brows she exhaled slowly and shouted to the slighter taller blonde who was finally in her line of sight. "Amy, can you slow down!?"

I stopped reluctantly sobbing quietly I grit my teeth sniffling; I wiped my eyes and stood firm refusing to turn around. "What?" I snapped.

Karma panted trying to catch her breath. "I'm sorry ok"

You're not. I thought as I closed my eyes for a hard minute before opening them, brushing strands of hair out of my face. "Is that really all you have to say?" I turned, glaring angrily at my friend. "Why don't you just run back to your secret boyfriend, what's-his-name?"

Karma rubbed her arm trying to ease her discomfort, as she was overcome with guilt. She couldn't wrap her head around it; she doesn't even understand what's happening right now. "I", she began.

"There's nothing you could possibly say to make this better! You can't have your cake and eat it too!" I screamed, choking up trying to fight back the tears that were starting to swell up again my eyes burning. "I did this for you, all of this. I didn't want any of this, but I went along with it anyway for you to make you happy. You've changed"

Karma anxiously looked at me; I could see the pain in her eyes but it's as though a part of her didn't really feel anything. She remained silent, she couldn't think of anything to say without it sounding like an excuse or half-assed apology.

"How do you think I feel, being paraded around like some kind of show pony or trophy while behind closed doors you're living your secret life in bliss?! This may be nothing but a game to you, a ruse to get to the top of the social ladder… but I can't do it anymore. I won't!" Tears begin trickling down my now flushed cheeks, I couldn't hold back any longer. "I'm someone too, but lately it feels like I'm invisible like I'm nothing!"

Karma moved towards to me, reaching out she touched my arm. "Don't! Just stop" I shouted irately batting the redhead's hand away. "You treat people namely me like shit, and the worst part is… you don't even care" I spoke softly my voice drifting into a whisper, brushing past Karma adjusting the bag on my shoulder I retreated through the quad and down the block.

Karma just stood there frozen, as she watched Amy storm off down the block till she was out of sight. Amy's words echoed in her ear like a shot in the dark.

I was still just has flustered those images replayed in my head as I turned the corner and walked towards my house. I fumbled with the key in the lock; pushing my weight against the door and headed inside. Dropping my bag under the coat rack I walked upstairs to my room and slammed the door.

I slunk down against the door, grabbing my stuffed panda that was strewn on the rug by my bed and clutched it close to my chest. I opened my mouth as if to speak but no words came out only tears, which furiously streamed down my face.

I can't believe this, I feel so stupid! I just- I sobbed quietly, my thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of my cellphone in my sweater pocket.

I sniffled in confusion at who could be calling me, grappling for the phone I looked at the caller id. I scoffed, rolling my eyes and in a fit of frustration; I threw my phone across the room.

Karma scrambled and paced around her living room. Hours had gone by and her cellphone started buzzing, she blew a stray strand of hair out of her face before answering the phone.

"You've got some nerve calling me!" she growled, sitting down on her knees leaning against the couch.

"What's with the attitude?" Liam questioned, placing a paintbrush behind his ear as he put the finishing touches on his newest 3d sculpture.

"Everything's fucked up now" she sobbed, putting a hand up to her face covering her eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked anxiously, taking a seat on the bench in his garage.

"Amy's really mad at me." she scratched her head, sniffling as she continued to cry. "An it's all because of you!" she shouted.

"What are you saying, you're not exactly innocent in this whole thing" he stated.

"I just wish I could take it all back" she whispered.

"Where is this coming from? Are you calling it quits between us?" he questioned.

"I-I don't know" she quipped. "Have I… have I changed?"

"I've always known you to be a very sweet and charismatic person. You're great" he spoke assuredly.

You shouldn't say things like that. You don't really know me, she contemplated.

"You don't. You don't know me" she said quietly.

"Of course I do, you're my girlfriend and I love you" he said.

Karma gasped quietly, now crying even harder. She couldn't respond. She didn't know how to. Buried deep inside, apart of her knows she can't. She just hung up the phone, and put it somewhere far out of her sight.

You jerk! What are you doing to me?! She screamed internally as she wept.

I dusted myself off and got up with my panda in tow and sat down on the bed. I pondered for a moment before shuffling to my drawer, pulling out my pjs I disappeared to the adjoining bathroom for a hot shower.

I don't know how to move forward. How do I move past this? I wish I knew how to handle things better. But god, seeing her with Liam just like pushes all my buttons!? Why am I feeling so jealous…? I hate this! I don't- I don't even know how I feel anymore. I sighed deep in thought, as I ran my fingers through my wet blonde locks. The water fell swiftly cascading down my face to my chest and around my waist. I felt as though I was being immersed beneath a gentle waterfall, I felt at peace. This is what I needed.

I reached down and turned off the faucet. Stepping out the shower I grabbed two towels, and wrapped one around me as it hugged every curve of my body. Using the other towel that was around my shoulders, I gave my hair a good pat and scratch. After drying off I changed into my jammies and sauntered back into my room.

I thought back to all the good times Karma and I have had and I chuckled to myself. Drifting back I noticed something near my nightstand, moving towards the dresser I stared at a picture of the two of us that was tucked in the mirror frame. If only you knew…

I love my little panda Pocky that's what Karma named him; it was a Christmas gift from her a few years back. I cherish it dearly, grabbing Pocky I crawled under the blanket before falling asleep sometime after.

I stirred under the covers and rubbed my eyes. Slowly opening them, I greeted the morning though there was nothing great about it. Just a dreary day, I thought.

I threw the blanket over my head groaning at the thought of going to school. I sighed, lifting the sheet as I shook my head trying to get rid of the pent-up negativity and frustration that was slowly working its way to the surface. "You can do this" I said to myself assuredly.

"Oh if it isn't the loneliest lesbian" Lauren said derisively, as she walked by my room.

I growled, throwing a pillow in the short blonde's direction.

"Missed me" Lauren hissed, as she peered into the doorway of my room.

"Get bent!" I yelled, picking up yet another pillow. Lauren shrieked, running down the hall.

I smirked then scoffed. Idiot. I picked up my phone off the nightstand, exclaiming nervously as I noticed the time. "Shit!" Frantically jumping out of bed, I darted towards my closet I picked out something to wear and proceeded to get ready.

I was moving so fast, I didn't realize I was hopping down the stairs. I swiped my bag from the hard wood floor and dashed out of the house.

I was on-the-go, I ran as fast as I could. Only one problem, I couldn't stop. "Watch out!" I screamed frantically, to the skateboarder in my path. A short girl with turquoise hair wearing a gray and white striped beanie turned around suddenly her eyes wide with fear. "Whoa" she yelled, as she came in contact with me. The shorter girl tripped over her longboard as the two of us crashed as we fell unto the grass.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry" I panted, trying to catch my breath blowing a strand of hair out of my face. I moved over unto a clear patch of grass "A-ar are you okay?" I breathed, exhaling slowly.

The shorter girl groaned as she rubbed her head, and winced when she touched her ankle. She looked up at me and quickly held her head down as a blush crept into her cheeks. "I-I I'm fine" she said nervously. "I'm not banged up or anything just alittle sore" she whispered.

Dusting myself off, I stood up extending a hand to the skater. The shorter girl accepted as I helped her up. The girl from yesterday, I mused. "Thanks" she said quietly, her face still flushed. "A-are you okay?" She asked, pushing her glasses closer up so that they're comfortable and in place again.

I cleared my throat and coughed into the sleeve of my shirt. "Yeah I'm alright. I'm really sorry about running into you like that" I scratched my head nervously. "I think I ran into you yesterday by the darkroom"

The girl nodded, rubbing her arm as she picked up her longboard. "Yeah I remember you" she said.

"Are you new at Hester High? I haven't seen you around" I questioned. Her hair reminds me of a mermaid.

"I'm a transfer student, the darkroom is one of my favorite places" the girl said with a smile. "I'm Lindy by the way. I didn't catch your name"

"Amy" I said, a blush slowly creeping into my cheeks. "Um, I-I like your skateboard"

"Thanks, it's a longboard" Lindy smiled, putting her longboard on the ground. "Slow down next time. Take care" She placed her foot on the board before pushing off and riding away.

I walked up the block faintly I watched as the mysterious girl blurred from focus and disappeared into the distance. I headed to the nearest bus stop, thankfully within minutes a bus pulled up. I paid the fare; after a 10-15min. bus ride I hopped off the bus and hurried to my next class.

"Psst Shane" I whispered, trying to get the posh boys' attention. Gesturing discreetly for him to look my way, I tossed him a note.

Opening the note it read: Please help, I'll fill you in on the details at lunch. Can you come?

He looked over at me, giving a quick wink of reassurance.

I breathed an internal sigh of relief. I feel like I'm on this weird love rollercoaster that's going upside down and I'm getting that dizzy fluttery nauseous thing and it's about to hit me hard. I was so caught up and lost in the many swirling thoughts in my head that I missed today's lesson on polynomials. "Darn" I said to myself a bit too loudly, the sarcasm clearly evident in my tone of voice.

I ran my fingers through my hair briskly, desperately avoiding the overwhelming temptation to yank my hair really hard.

Just has I was gathering my math book and other belongings our math teacher Mr. Jameson called me over. "Ms. Raudenfeld can I speak with you for a minute"

"Ames, I'll catch you later" Shane said, as he gripped my shoulder lightly and walked away.

"Mhm" I nodded, while hesitantly shuffling towards Mr. J's desk. Clutching my textbook tight in front of me, I approached my teacher. "You wanted to see me?"

"I wanted to let you know you did really well on your last test-" he began, as he handed me my test paper.

"You should consider joining the mathletes" he continued, pointing to some fancy math poster on the wall behind him.

"Mr. J" I said, I gave him a very quizzical look with a raised eyebrow of course.

"Come on, where's that Hester High spirit" he quipped, his lips forming into a small smile. "I heard about your efforts with the 'Occupy Hester' protest"

"That's a very kind offer, but extracurriculars aren't really my thing" I stated, shrugging lightly.

"Well if you change your mind, we meet ever Thursday after-school" he mentioned, scratching his beard.

"Thanks but-" I started, but was interrupted.

"Just think about it, I know college apps aren't for another few years. But it could look good on your application" he noted, while putting the last of his notes into his binder and put it away in his slightly tattered forest green satchel.

I gestured to him, and left the classroom. Scurrying off to the cafeteria, I scanned the tables once-over looking for- "Shane!" I called out, walking towards him.

"Amy" he said, as he sat down on the bench. "What's the gossip?" he asked, flashing his signature smile, those dimples.

"I met a mermaid and it was magical" I squealed contentedly. Not realizing, that it sounded the beginning of a really quirky fairy-tale.

Shane looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Wait- I start over"

I took a seat next to him; taking a deep breath I recanted my news from the top. "Karma and I aren't speaking right now. We had a big fight, but then…" I sighed, my lower lip quivered as I started to choke up just thinking about it.

Shane moved closer to me, pulling me into a friendly embrace. "I ran into this girl the other day and we've been talking"

"You've got my attention" he quipped, holding my hand for moral support.

"I kind of think I might have a crush on this girl but I don't know…" I shook my head, as tears silently rolled down my cheek. "My heart belongs to Karma, I think I might be falling in love with her but I'm scared, to make matters worse I'm just so mad at her I can't stand it. I really want things to be better between us like they were but I'm not at a place I can do that just yet"

"Just give it time. I know she cares about you, I've seen the way you guys are together" he whispered.

"But I don't know if she'll ever like me the way I like her" I sobbed, sniffling quietly between sobs. I hate this. These feeling are killing me. I sighed.

"Go find your mermaid. I know you're in a tough spot right now but who knows. Maybe you'll become friends or something more. Keep your heart open to the possibility" Shane spoke quietly, giving me a gentle squeeze. A small smile filled his face.

"Here goes" I shrugged nervously, and sprinted up the steps of the quad I stopped short as my boots skid on the linoleum tile floors. I scratched my head completely turned around; I didn't know which way to turn.

I followed my gut, heading down the hall I made my way into the school library. Is it strange that all libraries give me a very Harry Potter vibe? Gryffindor? Slytherin? Ravenclaw? Hufflepuff? Take your pick. My inner geek's coming out. I pondered while scanning the aisles looking for the photography section. One book in particular really caught my attention; I pulled it off the shelf and took a seat on the floor. I felt like I was in another world, sitting there as if I was in my own little corner of the world with my book as the sunlight peaked through the window shining and gleaming.

"Hey there stranger" A voice called out from afar. I couldn't tell because I was looking through squinted eyes but it faintly seemed as though the person was walking in my direction.

I put my hand up to my face tilting it like a sort of visor to shield my eyes from the beaming sun. "Hey" I rasped, squinting to the point I was starting to see spots. I shifted my position, turning the open book over on my lap.

"You do photography?" The girl questioned, taking a seat against the wall opposite me.

"Lindy" I muttered, a huge smile filling my features. "Uh-" I stammered, clearing my throat. "I dabble but I'm not very good"

"What kind of photography do you like?" Lindy asked, holding her camera close.

"Black & white mostly, street photography and photojournalism are pretty cool too" I stated, I rummaged through my bag pulling out a small camera case. "Pinhole photography is sweet!"

"I know right, I've been researching and you can make your own pinhole cameras out of common household items" she exclaimed.

Her voice drifted into a whisper, losing myself in my own thoughts for a moment. Her snapback matches her eyes. With eyes like the color of the mist, they danced in the light. I'm feeling good about this, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I took a deep breath; I'm just going to do it."Would you-" N-no, I can't do it. It'll probably scare her off. "How long have you been doing photography? I really like those prints you did"

"Thanks. Oh gosh, hmm… I'd say like 6 or 7 years now" she pondered. "Come on, I want to show you something" Lindy said, extending a hand to me.

I obliged taking her hand, doing an internal happy dance as the butterflies started to swirl and flutter in my stomach.

We ran outside hand-in-hand towards the bus stop. When we reached our stop we both hopped off the bus and proceeded up a flight of stairs and that's when I saw it-

"It's beautiful!" I exclaimed in amazement, my eyes were wide filled with awe and curiosity. "I feel like I just fell down the rabbit hole into Wonderland"

"Well it's lovely to meet you Alice" she teased, pulling me close.

I gasped lightly, moving a strand of hair behind my ear. She leaned in; closing her eyes has our lips met in an ever so gentle kiss.

My phone began buzzing and vibrating in my pocket. I heard nothing; I was lost in that moment I felt at peace. Getting swept away in the silence, the hushed howls of the wind the low hums of chatter and music were the only things that surrounded me.

Karma grimaced folding her arms across her chest. If someone tells you they love you that should make you happy right? It should be simple, or instinctive I guess. Unless you have no idea then…

"Babe" Liam said, waving a hand in front of the redhead's face to get her attention.

"Uh" Karma chuckled, patting her boyfriend's cheek. "You're so cute" she said, kissing him tenderly.

She picked up the remaining items that were beside her and threw them in the trash. With a quick hair flip she grabbed her bag as she proceeded to leave she turned around. "I'll catch up with you later" the redhead blew Liam an air kiss goodbye and bolted out the door heading down the block.

Karma walked down the block. She couldn't understand what she was feeling this was all very new to her. She continued on walking down the sidewalk and decided to cut through a park she spotted on her travels. I've known Amy my whole life yet I never imagined we'd be together even if we are both faking it, she she strolled through the park she noticed some flowers. "Allium, I think they're called." She said to herself quietly, taking in the smell of the flowers. I have to make this up to her somehow, she does like flowers. They're so beautiful and bright just like her. Karma smiled as she knelt down to pick one of the flowers. "These flowers are adorable. They make me berry happy" she giggled. "Silly puns"

"Karma" a voice called out, walking towards the short redhead.

Karma looked around in either direction then looked up, she gasped for a moment chuckling nervously. "Shane hi" she waved to her classmate, standing upright as she took a seat on the bench in front of her.

"You came to enjoy the early signs of spring I bet" the boy teased, curling his lips into a small smile.

"Oh" Karma laughed. "Yeah I needed some air. What better way than to soak up some sunshine" she smiled for a moment but it quickly faded.

"Can I?" Shane questioned, gesturing to the bench.

"Sure" the redhead motioned as she proceeded to scoot over adjusting her bag as she let it hang off her shoulder once more. She sniffled, scratching her head lightly.

"Hey, are you alright?" he asked with furrowed brows, a gentle tone filled his voice.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." Her voice broke her range just barely above a whisper. She wanted so badly to scream that it hurt, afraid that if she opened her mouth she would just burst into tears. I don't know what's happening. Why do I feel so lost and why does it hurt so much. For every question there's an answer, the most common "Why?" A question that could leave one wondering just what to say. It could be any number of reasons, but is it the right one? Someone could wrack their brain on the question for days, weeks even years. Yet it still may never be the answer they wanted it to be or were hoping it could be. Why?

"Karma" Shane waved a hand in front of the short girl's face before tapping her on the shoulder. "Karma?"

She heard a voice it was faint, it's calling out to her. It sounds familiar like that of a friend. This was becoming too much. It's too painful, I can't deal with this. I don't want to. Although her eyes were already closed, she shut her eyes even tighter whimpering as her lips began to quiver. "I can't!" Karma screamed.

"Kar-Karma! Karma calm down. It's okay, I've got you" Shane said in a comforting tone of voice, embracing the redhead pulling her close. "Breathe" he whispered.

Karma put a hand on her chest as she began hyperventilating furiously. She obliged inhaling and exhaling slowly till she finally managed to catch her breath. "Excuse me" she rasped, departing quietly with the flower in hand.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Shane asked softly.

"I will be" Karma responded, sniffling.

With misty eyes Karma's vision blurred as tears began stinging her eyes. She winced as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and began humming the melody to Say Something by A great big world.

Karma reached into her pocket dialing Amy's number. "Amy I'm really sorry. With Liam we-we… didn't go there. I never meant to hurt and so sorry for everything. Please call me back"

My phone vibrated loudly in my pocket, I broke the kiss hesitantly as I pulled away slowly. I looked longing into Lindy's eyes. Sadness unknowingly seemed to fill my eyes as I knitted my eyebrows. "I have a girlfriend. I can't do this I'm sorry" I tried to move but it was though I was stuck. "I'm not a cheat" I whispered, holding my head down. "I can't" I said, walking away. I feel so guilty, there's a horrible pit in my stomach. Karma and I have just hit a rough patch. But we'll get through it… at some point. I sighed, taking a seat on the grass.

Karma almost walked right past the meadow. Looking out into the distance it seemed like a dream. She scanned the field and spotted Amy, hot on her heels she walked over to approach the tall blonde.

Lindy stood in place, folding her arms quietly. Exhaling slowly, she picked up her longboard and set it down in front of her. Placing a foot on her board she looked over at me. "I'm really sorry. I don't mean to come between you and your girlfriend"

"Well" I started to say, I was interrupted as I looked up in distress.

"Amy, um can I talk to you?" the redhead questioned, trying her hardest to not to cry. She stood under a nearby willow tree that created its own canopy cascading the shade.

I walked over to her my arms folded across my chest. "I'm so sick of the way you've been acting lately. Liam's all you ever talk about, I feel like I don't even exist to you anymore" I growled.

"I really am sorry. Nothing happened between us, when we were in the art studio" Karma protested, tears welling up in her eyes. "Please believe me. I do like Liam, but you're the one I love. I love you more than anything"

"Why don't you just go back to your boyfriend" I snarled, tears streaming down my face. I attempted to leave but was halted in my efforts.

"Amy, please don't walk away" Karma pleaded tearfully, she reached over to me grabbing hold of my wrist.

"I'm sure Liam will keep you warm during those long and lonely nights. And besides you're the one who keeps saying this is all pretend" I snapped, freeing my wrist from her grip wiping the tears from my cheeks. I quickly ran ahead to catch up with Lindy. "Lindy, wait up" I called out to her, as she was about to be on her way.

"Amy I-" Karma began as her voice drifted off into a whisper.

"Can you show me some of those photos you were telling me about?" I asked, standing in front of the ethereal skater girl.

Lindy scratched the back of her head. "Um, that seemed pretty intense. Are you ok? " she questioned, pushing off gliding at a steady pace down the sidewalk making sure not to go too fast.

I cleared my throat before speaking. "Fine. Much better actually now that it's just us" I turned to her, curling my lips into a small smile.

Us? Oh god, I can't be this person. I'm not- Lindy stopped abruptly; she kept one foot on her board and the other on the ground taking a seat on the stand pipe behind her. "I-I know it's not my place, but I think you should go back and talk to your girlfriend. True love is special and something worth fighting for. The two of you seem to really care about each other; I think you guys deserve to take another shot. But if I'm wrong and you don't feel the same I think you should let her know that. I know I'm overstepping but I think everyone deserves a second chance" Lindy stammered, her voice seemed to drift with each word.

I stood there frozen. If you only knew. "It's complicated" I said sadly with a sigh. "It was sweet of you to say that though"

Lindy chuckled. "We're getting close, we just wait here for the bus" She flipped her skateboard so that its standing upright before cradling it under her arm and they got on the bus that just rolled to a stop.

I sat beside my new friend thinking about everything that's happened the past few weeks.

"I'm really sorry" Lindy whispered, staring out the window watching as the bus drove past the mall and then by countless houses.

"Me too" I said, resting my head on Lindy's shoulder.