A/N: It's Joss's. Selfish man. And Kelly's, but she's welcome to it, 'cause I can't sing.
Here's the thing: we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
We started out—just friends, you know? Not really even that. He would show up, warn me about some vague, awful event that was going to happen in the near future, and then disappear. I didn't really mind, though. I mean, he was never anything more to me than a source of information. Until the night we kissed, and oh God, he was a vampire, and I was supposed to kill vampires.
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone
But he explained—explained he had a soul, that he really did love me, that he wasn't a blood-sucking murderer like the things I fought on a nightly basis. And we—not really dated, 'cause you can't date the undead, that's just weird, but—we did, whatever it was. He was nice, he was sweet, he definitely wasn't a high school boy--
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
He—he loved me. I know he did. He had to have loved me—because the things he said, did, you don't do those just to screw with someone's head. And-and I thought, y'know, I could be with him. This could be love. I could have a life with him, well, not a normal, one, but a life together. But now--
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone
Now, he's something else. Not someone. He's not even remotely human anymore. My God, what he did to Ms. Calendar? And those other people—I can't just stand around anymore, fighting with my heart. It's my fault. He's my fault. I have to do something. I have to make it right, or die trying, and I'm scared it might be the latter.
How can I put it?You put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
I thought he loved me. I know he loved me. But he's not him anymore. He's a raving monster. He's something I never—never dreamed of facing—and oh God, I can't. Was he faking the whole time? Was he really always this thing, that maims and kills and enjoys it? He can't have been. He was so sweet, and, and loving, and--
"Was it good for you too?"
How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way
He never loved me. Maybe if I tell myself that, it'll be easier. He never loved me. He never loved me. He never—but he did. I know he did. Because I loved him, and if he hadn't loved me, we wouldn't have unleashed this creature on an unsuspecting world.
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
But now he's gone. And nothing I, myself, can do will change that. I have to grieve quickly and find the strength to kill the demon in his body. Because if I don't, it will go on polluting his memory and making him something despicable to me.
You had your chance, you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth, I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
And the things he says, the things he writes, the things he does, just make it easier and easier—I kneed him the other day. I deliberately caused the man I love pain. Except he's not the man I love. No. What's in his body never loved anyone or anything, except himself. I'm not sure I can take the taunting anymore, the way he looks at me like he's going to--
Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get
I get what I want
I'm an only child. I get what I want. And I want this man dead. I want him to die on the end of my stake, with that look of shock on his face he had when I hit him, for what he's done to me. I need to move on.
Since you've been gone
He hurt Giles, he hurt Willow,
Since you've been gone
And he hurt me.
Since you've been gone
Angel's gone. And Angelus isn't going to live long.