A/N: Don't even ask me where the inspiration for this one came from because I don't know.
The last thing she thought she'd see when she finally left the school two hours after glee and at least an hour and a half after she'd planned to was Rachel Berry sitting there on a bench hugging herself and her coat closer. It was snowing out and the girl was shivering, looking down at her phone as she dialed into it.
"Hi, daddy it's me calling again. Why aren't you answering your phone? Did you forget we're supposed to go pick up my car today? I'm still waiting in front of the school for you. I left a message on Dad's phone too but I know he's at work at the hospital for another few hours and he probably won't even have the opportunity to look at it until then. Just... please call me back when you get this. Bye, love you." Santana watched as she chewed on her lip then hung up her phone and got up, tucking small hands into her jacket. It looked like she was going to walk.
"Berry." The girl turned around and the taller brunette quickly registered surprise and exhaustion through her expression.
"Santana, hello. What can I do for you?"
"Nothing. I'm gonna drive you home. Seeing a human Berry flavored Popsicle on the side of the road seems like the type of thing that could permanently damage a kids psyche. Apparently I'm in the business of preventing that. Hence me telling you how horrible your wardrobe is on a daily basis."
"Santana that isn't necessary, my father is on his way." The Latina rolled her eyes.
"Which one, huh? The one that was supposed to be here two hours ago or the one who's at the work at Lima General and probably won't see his phone until he gets a horrifically short coffee break?"
"You... heard me leaving the voice mail."
"I did, dwarf. Now that we've covered that, you want a ride or would you prefer to die of hypothermia and never reach your dreams of Broadway super stardom?" The two of them were standing near her car by this point, and seeing as she was head cheerio at least until Quinn was back in shape to take her place, her spot was right up front in staff parking next to Coach Sylvester's. It was lucky. Berry looked like she was five seconds from freezing to death. She hit the button that unlocked the doors on her Audi A8, opening the rear door to toss her duffel bag in and then sliding into the drivers seat, turning the heat up high. When she looked over Rachel was fastening her seat belt. The diminutive girl put her hands in her lap afterwards, obviously reluctant to say or do anything.
"Fucking relax, hobbit. I'm not gonna murder you or something. Put your address in the gps. How far away do you live?" Rachel typed her address into the mobile gps unit attached to the dashboard before looking over.
"Eleven and a half miles."
"You were about to walk eleven and half miles in this weather? Are you fucking insane? That's a recipe for hypothermia with the way you're dressed. That pea coat ain't cuttin' it." The other girl shrugged then pushed a lock of hair out of her face, looking out the window as they drove out of the parking lot and hit the main road, Santana turning left as she followed the directions the gps gave her.
"I had no other option. And i'm worried about my father. This has never happened before. He's punctual and dependable by nature. I just hope everything's ok. He's been having really severe headache's lately so dad set him up an appointment with a neurologist for tomorrow."
"What kind of doctor is your dad?" Santana asked as she hit a light, she was only a few minutes from the smaller brunette's house.
"He's a pediatric surgeon. Your father is a surgeon too, right?" She was tempted just tell the diva that they weren't playing 20 fucking questions, but she let it go. It was way easier to be nice, sure. And although thinking like that had only ever got her screwed over in the past, it was only Berry.
"Neurologic. You said something when you were leaving that voice mail about going to pick up your car. What is it?" Rachel brightened slightly, smiling just barely.
"It's a Lexus LS Hybrid. I'm excited, it's my first car!"
"Nice ride, Berry. Still not competing with my baby though. 'specially not with a damn hybrid. But I suppose it makes you slightly less lame. Walking eleven miles when it's like six degrees outside is not for future stars. Congrats on the car."
"Um...thank you I suppose. There's nothing wrong with a hybrid, Santana. In fact I believe the world would be better off if more people chose to drive such practically beneficial vehicles. I plan on buying a purely electric vehicle once they're available. Chevrolet is working on one now." the latina laughed, shaking her head.
"Yea right. I'll stick with my W12. You can drive around some weird robot car if you want."
"I will." When they finally turned to last corner and Rachel could see her house, she frowned. It looked like her daddy's car was parked crooked, and she could see that he'd crashed into the garage.
"What the hell? Berry, your Daddy's a horrible driver." Santana parked the car and both girl's got out, walking towards her father's BMW. Rachel rushed forward and looked in the partially tinted windows to see her father bent forward, his head against a deflated air bag.
"Oh my god, Daddy?!" She opened the door and reached forward, pulling down his collar to reach his neck and feel for a pulse. It was there, but barely. Her tears were falling already and she stood up, unfastening his seat belt and turning back to Santana behind her who's dark eyes were wide.
"Santana dial 911, I don't know what happened and I don't want to try to move him in case it'll make it worse. I'm gonna call my dad again." The Latina nodded and pulled out her phone, dialing the three numbers.
A few seconds later she was telling the man who answered what was happening. Rachel dialed her father and got his voice mail. She explained the situation as best she could given how shaken up she was and they waited the five minutes it took for the ambulance to come. Rachel shaking from both the cold and the situation while Santana, surprisingly, held her hand. While they rolled her father into the ambulance and told her she couldn't fit in the back given their extra crew member, she cried.
"Hey, It'll be okay, come on. I'll drive you to the hospital, get in." Rachel barely nodded, sliding back into the passenger seat. The taller girl pulled out behind the ambulance following behind it as they headed towards Lima Memorial.
"Daddy..." Santana watched as she mumbled out what sounded like a prayer in a language she didn't understand then looked out through the glass of the window as she called her other father again. Rachel sobbed loudly when he answered, putting the phone on speaker for a reason the Latina didn't understand.
"Rachel, baby what's wrong?"
"Dad something happened to daddy. He never came to pick me up so a friend offered to bring me home and his car was crashed into the garage. He was unconscious against the air bag and I took his pulse but it was barely there and...and we called 911 and we're following the ambulance on the way to your hospital. We should be there in a couple of minutes, we just around the corner. Do you have a surgery? Can you be there when we come in?"
"Hey, Rachel calm down baby I'll be there. We'll find out what's going on and they'll take care of your dad as best they can. Are you riding with him in the ambulance or is your friend bringing you to the hospital?"
"She's bringing me."
"Ok. Ok good. I'll be waiting for you when you get here. I love you, little one."
"I love you too, dad." She disconnected the line and closed her eyes, struggling to breathe. it was rare these days that she had panic attacks, but the panic and worry that was clouding her ability to think clearly right now was familiar. They were at least a few minutes behind the ambulance, what if her daddy didn't even make it to the hospital?
"Hey, Berry calm down. You have to be okay for your dad. He'll freak out if both you and your other dad are in the hospital. Just breathe okay? Breathe for me. You're okay, Rachel." Santana pulled over in the valet lane and got out of the car, crossing around to pull Rachel out too, rubbing at the shorter girl's back and hugging her tight so she could feel and then match her breathing.
"Come on, breathe Rachel."
She handed over a twenty to the valet guy as the shorter girl's breathing came back to normal, her sobs racking her body. The Latina walked them inside and towards the tall Jewish man standing in the emergency area. Having to stop when Rachel clung to her again.
"Shh, Rachel. You're okay. Look, here comes your dad. We'll see if we can find out what's happening." She frowned at who she surmised to be Hiram Berry as he took his daughter in his arms. She recognized that look in the surgeon's eyes from when her abuelo had died the year before. There was no good news to give. She didn't know how Rachel would get through this. She convinces herself that it's that as well as remembering for herself how it feels to lose someone you're that close to that has wetness welling in her eyes. This scenario is all too familiar.
Her father is alive and well though she barely sees him. She was raised by her grandparents because of how much her father worked. Her abuela died when she was seven and then her grandfather when she was fifteen. She's never had a mother. Maria Lopez died giving birth to her. She knows her father wishes it had been her who died as an infant and her mother who lived. Sometimes she feels the same.
She's finally pulled from her head when Hiram looks to her and smiles wearily.
"Why don't you go sit down baby girl, I'm going to call your Aunti Viv. I'll come talk to you in a second."
"Thank you for bringing her. I know the two of you aren't exactly friends, but the both of us appreciate you driving her anyway. I know you probably have more important things to do Santana, you don't have to stay." Rachel had taken a seat in the nearest chair and slipped her earbuds in, staring off at nothing.
"Yea, I know. But I am. She shouldn't be alone right now and I know you'll probably be doing whatever it is you have to do to take care of things for a little while. Just let me stay, see what I can do for her. I've been through this before...I lost both the people I considered my parents. I won't tell her. I know you probably need to figure out how to. I'm um...I'm really sorry you lost your husband Mr. Berry."
"How do you know that?"
"It was in your eyes. Even though it's so personal you're still a doctor, more importantly a surgeon. When my papi came to tell us that my abuela had died, he looked the same way. Same thing for my abuelo. I can always recognize that look in a doctors eyes." She buried her hands in the pockets of her cheerio winter pants and leaned against the pillar she was standing next to.
"I understand. I'm going to call my sister in law, since you're going to be staying for a while at least can you just sit with her?"
"Yea. By the way, sir...I'm really sorry for the way I've treated your daughter. She told me today she thinks I hate her or something and that isn't true." She didn't know what else to say regarding his loss. What can you say to someone who'd just lost their husband? She decided that the best answer was nothing.
"I understand her thinking that after some of the things you've said. But honestly, you've helped both of us today when you didn't have to. So if you intend to be my daughters friend, that's good. For you and for her.
She walked over to where the silent brunette was scrolling through the music in her phone and took a seat next to her. The smaller girl pulled a bud from her ear and looked over at her.
"What were you talking to my dad about?"
"He thanked me for bringing you here and told me I didn't have to stay since he knew that we don't get along. I told him I'd stay anyway."
"Why? You hate me. You've made it clear on numerous occasions."
"I don't hate you, okay. I'm just a bitch and a bully. There's a huge difference between that and hate. That's something I'm sure both you and I know plenty about given the general lack of intelligence of the people of this area of Ohio."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm just saying we've both been victims of hate. Racism, homophobia. That's real hate and something we've both had to live with. I don't hate you. Rachel nodded in understanding, her frustration at the other girl fading away a bit.
"So you don't hate me, but you don't like me either." The small singer nodded her head like that was a natural conclusion to come to. And given the fact that just about everyone treated her like shit in different ways she guessed it was.
"I would tell you not to make assumptions but given my behavior in the past I suppose I really can't say that. Look, I do like you or whatever alright? Were it not literally in my job description as a cheerio and especially as head to be a complete asshole I could even see us being like friends or something if you were into that which I'm sure you aren't given my aforementioned treatment of you and your actual friends. I'm gonna stop. I'm bound to embarrass myself if I keep talking. Imma go get a coffee from that cafe place we saw. And I think the board said something about a make your own salad thing, that should be fine for you right?
"No it's fine, I doubt the cafe has anything I can eat. And I can't have the dressings or cheese in a regular salad. I'm a vegan."
"I know that Rachel. And I saw they had some vegan peanut butter cookies on our way in. Anyway, I'll just get you a salad. That okay?" She squeezed the smaller girl's hand as she stood.
"Yes, thank you. Oh, here comes my dad, he's been working all day on top of all of this, could you get him a black coffee please?" She extended a twenty dollar bill but Santana ignored it, walking away towards the cafe and Rachel's father.
"How is she?"
"Right now? Fine. Once you tell her though we'll see. She's stronger than me but in this situation that isn't the best thing. I'm getting her a salad and maybe a tea. She said you take your coffee black?"
"Yes. Thank you. I'm going to tell her now.."
"Ok, I'm gonna get her salad. I sat a few seats down and across from her at lunch and I don't remember seeing her eat anything but a bag of baby carrots and an orange. She'd spent most of lunch in the auditorium practicing for some arrangement she was putting together." Hiram frowned at this knowledge, even more worry clouding his eyes.
"Did you sit near her at lunch yesterday or the day before?"
"Yea, she had roasted vegetable pasta and jasmine tea. She ate the day before that too. As far as school goes she only seems to miss a meal once or twice every couple of weeks. Why? Is there a problem I should be worrying about?" He shook his head, frowning down at what seemed like a text he'd gotten.
"No she isn't sick but she sometimes focuses too much on music or the club and not enough on taking care of eating and her health. But since it seems you keep on top of that, I guess I can worry less when she goes back, whenever that is. if she wants to go home will you take her? I don't want her to be alone, but she won't want to stay here."
"I have something close to an eidetic memory. It's why I can remember what she and everyone else at the table has eaten since I started sitting with them. Anyway, of course I'll take her home if she wants to go."
"Thank you Santana." He walked away towards his daughter and Santana started off towards the cafe.
It took her five or six minutes to get back and Rachel was sobbing into Hiram's blue dress shirt, unable to speak clearly. Santana set down the drinks and Rachel's salad on the coffee table in front of the two Berry's.
"Do you want to see him, Baby? Say goodbye?"
"No...no I can't. I can't dad. I can't see him like that again. When I left for school I told him goodbye, I told him I loved him. That will have to be how I remember him, smiling at me from the kitchen and telling me he loved me." Hiram nodded, hugging her close.
"I understand, baby. I need to say goodbye. I may be awhile, and you're aunt Viv should be here in an hour. I have to wait for her. Do you want to stay or go home?"
"I just want to go home, dad. I can't be in this hospital right now."
"Alright, Santana will take you. I know you haven't really eaten today, so she got you some food and some tea. Please eat for me star. You and me, we're all we have now. We have to take care of ourselves and of each other ok?" Rachel nodded into his shoulder, hugging him tighter.
"Ok, daddy. I love you."
"I love you too, baby girl. Go ahead and go home. I'll text you every hour or so until I'm on the way. Santana, thank you so much."
"You're welcome, Mr. Berry." Hiram nodded to her as she picked up her empty tea cup and tossed it, picking up the container that held Rachel's salad and started towards the door, handing her tag to the valet girl. She opened Rachel's car door for her when her Audi arrived, sighing as the silent girl slid into the car silently. A few moments later they were headed back towards the short brunette's house, her smaller hands in Santana's barely larger one.
"Thank for all your help Santana. I'm um...I'm sure you had better things to do." Santana looked over and squeezed her hand, shaking her head.
"Nope. Supporting and helping you through this today is the best thing I can think of doing, ok? Are you sure you want to be along at home? I'm sorry for mentioning it or whatever but I know how difficult it is to sleep in a home that holds a million memories of what you've lost. I know you're hurting, and there's nothing I can do to stop that, but if I can make it better for you Rachel I will." The shorter brunette wanted to pull her hand away, demand that Santana stop pretending she cared. She wanted to scream. Take it all out on her the way she felt the Latina had been taking her own pain out on her since they were seven.
"I...don't want to be alone, no. If you're sure you have nothing important to do, I would like it if you stayed with me as long as you can. A lot of our family lives in the state or in Chicago and I know they'll be coming in so I don't know when he'll come home. It will most likely be pretty late. definitely after midnight."
"If you're ok with me staying overnight I can take the couch."
"I have a guest room you can stay in."
"K. I just thought about it, but did your dad call the school to tell them you'll be absent for a while?" Rachel looked at her , brow raised in a way that instantly reminded the latina of Quinn.
"I can't miss school Santana. I'm going to have to miss for the funeral and I won't skip more than that. My current record of having never been tardy or absent is important for my record to make it clear to Nyada or Juliard that I'm dedicated to my future and will work hard to get there. That was something that was important to my father, and it's important to me." Santana looked at her, searching for the trademark look on Rachel's face that always told her she was being both serious and honest.
"Is that what it's really about? Or do you not just not want to be in that house probably alone with your memories for the next few days? You can always stay with me. I'll call in and stay in, take care of you. I know Mr. Berry was worried about you eating when you're worried or focused on something else. I'll like...i don't know, cook for you and shit. I looked up some vegan recipes after that one time you brought in those cookies. They were so awesome I was curious.
"I...suppose it is more that I don't think I can be in that house alone for whatever time frame Dad deems appropriate. But I don't know that I'm comfortable staying with you Santana. Today's events mark the only time we've ever shared any words together that weren't insults or glee related since we were seven. I'm thankful for what you've done, but I can't just...trust you. I'm not capable of that with you. Not anymore."
"I get that. And I'm sorry, seriously. I've fucked up a lot with you. Everyone else too, I know...but I regret the things I've said and done to you more than anyone but Quinn because she depended on me and I dropped her like she wasn't worth my time when she got pregnant...I just mean, you don't deserve any of what I've done, and I like you as a person you know. I've always liked you and wanted to be your friend and I'm sorry I chose to be a shitty person instead of chilling and hanging out with you the way I've always wanted to. If you decide you'd rather stay with me instead of at home just call me.
"What makes you think I have your phone number?"
"You asked for everyone's number once we had twelve members. You said it was your responsibility as Captain to be able to easily contact any of us in the event of an emergency. You gave me yours too. It's in my phone."
"As what? Man hands? Treasure Trail? Ru Paul?" Santana sighed...she deserved it, she knew. She handed over her phone when hey hit a stop sign on an empty street, swiping in her password.
"It's in here as Rachel? I don't understand."
"I don't think of you as any of those things. Shit, I'm sorry I ever said any of them. You won't hear me say them again."
"But what about school? You're head cheerio, doesn't Coach Sylvester expect certain behavior from you?" She shrugged as they finally pulled into the Berry driveway, the dent in the garage the only physical evidence of what had happened hours before. Her Daddy's car was absent.
"Yea. But she honestly told me that I was the best cheerio she's ever had, and that me, Q, and B were her top girls of all time. She won't kick us off just because we don't want to be horrible people anymore. And I know Q doesn't after she finally realizes what it's like to have people care about her and support her as far as the club goes. She won't want to let that go if she doesn't have to. I made coach a proposition. Quinn will be captain again, with me and B as sub-cap's. She removes the slushy machines from school. She won't try and sabotage glee, but she's free to fuck with Shue whenever she wants. I only have to keep the captain spot until Quinn's back in shape and it's healthy and safe for her." The two girl's got out of the car and Rachel opened her front door, the tears already heavy in her clear brown eyes. She was surprised by the arms that surrounded her, rubbing her back.
"It's ok, Rachel. You sure you don't want to come stay with me?" Rachel pulled away, shaking her head.
"I'm fine. I'll be fine."
"Alright. Here, why don't you sit down and eat your salad, K? I'm gonna go get my duffel bag and change." Santana walked back out the front door and to her car, retrieving her bag and then slipping back inside the house. She heard the sobs immediately. She dropped her bag and looked into the kitchen, standing, sobbing over a container of what looked like stir fry was Rachel Berry.
"Rachel what's wrong?"
"Daddy...he made this for dinner last night...it was so good. He was such a great cook. And he made me this vegan banana split ice cream. God, I miss him. Who's going to cook dinner for dad? I can bake but I can't cook like him."
"Hey, shh. Everything's okay. We can look up some vegan recipes together and I can cook really well, so we'll figure it out together." Rachel nodded and opened the refrigerator to put the stir fry away and reach for her favorite vinaigrette for her salad. Her tears fell renewed.
"I forgot he made this for me...I can't do this. I can't be in this house right now. Can I...is it okay if I stay with you?"
"I told you Rachel that's perfect cool with me. Go pack a bag and we can get going. Is it okay if I call your dad from your phone? I'm going to let him know you're staying with me."
"Ok." She typed her password in then the small girl breathed deep, steeling herself as she headed towards the stairs. Santana found the number and dialed it quickly, a frown on her face. She worried for the Berrys. Hiram had seemed like a strong man overall, but she knew from experience how much of that was likely him trying to be strong for his crumbling daughter.
"Hi, Rach, everything ok?"
"This isn't Rachel, Mr. Berry. It's Santana. Rachel's having some trouble being in the house as I'm sure you can imagine. She's asked to stay with me for the night. I'm going to give you my home and cell number plus my address. I asked her about maybe taking some time off of school but she doesn't really want to do that and I thought that might be something you'd want to consider talking to her about. If in the end she takes no time off except for the funeral I promise you I'll look after her and protect her to the best of my ability." She leaned back against the island, arms crossed over her chest. It didn't make her feel any less vulnerable, revealing how much she truly cared for someone had only ever ended with her in tears.
"I can see that you care about her, Santana. I believe you. I'll talk to her about taking some time off. She'll wear herself out if she goes, I know it. Thank you for calling. Go ahead and give me your information." Santana quickly gave the man her address and phone numbers, just hanging up the phone when Rachel descended the stairs. They were in the car and on the way to the Latina's lonely home in the next few minutes. It was another ten before they pulled into the garage and Santana grabbed both she and Rachel's bags to carry them inside while the quiet girl followed her inside and up to her room.
"I just wanted to drop my bag off. Follow me, I'll drop yours in the guest room. You can sleep in there" The taller girl led the way to the room down the hall a bit and pushed the door open, placing the overnight bag on the duvet.
"Thank you, Santana. I'll probably just eat my salad then call my dad and see what's going on. I won't bother you."
"Rachel, you don't bother me. I'm pretty hungry too, maybe I'll eat with you then we can just watch something? A movie or some tv. You can pick whatever. Come on, follow me, we can eat in the kitchen. I have a pretty serious peanut butter craving going on right about now. I make these grilled peanut butter sandwiches. With homemade caramelized fruit jams. And I put cayenne and cumin in the peanut butter so it's this combination of nutty, sweet, spicy. It's good."
"That...sounds rather delicious actually. I would try that if the bread was vegan."
"I don't know how to tell if it's vegan. I read online that bread has like a whole bunch of milk byproducts in it and so I didn't know what to look for. Then I saw that I could just make it but I don't know anything about that and I'm not a great baker so I left it alone.
"I can tell you, let's take a look at what you've got." Rachel turned the bread over, reading the label carefully.
"It look's like this is vegan. This is a smaller salad that I usually eat for a full meal, would you mind making me a sandwich as well?" Santana smiled, and shook her head as she pulled out her fruit spread, spices, and peanut butter. The shorter girl dug into her salad while she watched her put it all together. She hadn't noticed how hungry she was, but the hunger pangs had been bothering her for the last hour now that she thought about it. The spinach, cranberry, apple salad with her daddy's homemade strawberry vinaigrette was delicious, but she was definitely still hungry. More than anything, she knew, she would miss just having him there to talk to, to hug when she felt like it. She smiled when Santana set a delicious looking sandwich in front of her.
"Bon Appetit." Her first bite had her closing her eyes, humming quietly.
"Oh my god, Santana. This is so so delicious."
"You really think so? I worked pretty hard on putting it together. I made the jam vegan in case you would ever you know want to try it. I never really had the balls to ask you to come over and cook with me, though. I figured you'd laugh in my face. I would have deserved it. anyway, I'm glad you like it Rach. Maybe we can do a thing where we have a day on the weekend, and we can just cook together. Like maybe you can teach me to bake and since you said you can't cook very well I can teach you how to do that? I mean if you want to hang out with me. I know i'm not exactly even on your list of people you want to be friends with but I want to be."
"I think maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea. I can barely believe the fact that I have to move forward with my life without him, if you understand. But I think it would be fun to do that. Me and Daddy used to cook together. He'd make dinner and I'd make desert. He could have been a chef. Honestly Santana. He said he took pre med and went to medical school at Berkeley with dad because he couldn't be away from him.
"They met in high school, you know. He told me once that it was hard for them but in the end it was worth all the pain because they had each other and they had me. I don't think I've ever known anyone who had a love like that. I used to think perhaps you had it with Brittany but I've changed my mind since."
"Britt's straight. It took two years of us experimenting and figuring things out together for her to realize that. I can't be angry with her. Not anymore. If I have to be hurt so she can be happy then it's worth it. She and Mike are good together, you know. I'd never take that away from her. Anyway, it's been a few months and I'm good. It hurt less to get over it because I loved her as a friend a long time before everything got complicated. I think when you love someone, forgiving them can go one of two ways. Either it won't hurt as much because you just want to see them happy or it'll feel like she physically cut your chest open, pulled your heart out, stepped all over it, and kept it anyway. There's really only two options as far as I can tell."
"I'll keep that in mind for future reference. I try to be optimistic in nature and I would hope that if I ever love someone as much as you love her or more that things will finally just be okay. That whoever they are will love me just as much and we can have the type of romance my fathers have...or...god, I guess had. My dad is so devastated. He tried to be strong for me but I could tell he just wanted my father back. I'm worried about him."
"He's just as worried about you. Me too, Rachel. And I understand how you feel. My dad, he lost my mom, my grandmother and grandfather all within fifteen years. He was never really anything like your dad really, he's barely around. So I was raised by my grandparents. My abuela died when I was seven and my abuelo died last year so I moved in with him but I barely see him, maybe once or twice a month. I'm starting to think maybe he got an apartment somewhere, which is why he never comes home. I can't be sure though. Either way I live alone. I like to think that he's only like this because he lost my mom when she died giving birth to me and he's just lost without her, but I think he somehow blames me even though it couldn't be my fault...I don't know." Rachel was beyond shocked. Santana was alone completely? She remembered Santana only started bullying her when she was seven, and now that she thought about it, it had gotten much worse at the start of sophomore year.
"Oh my god is that what it was? When you started picking on me I wondered what got you to change so drastically and i guess I know now. I mean we weren't friends, but you were nice and polite and then you just came in one day and started pushing me around. I was thoroughly confused. I remember, Daddy told me not to judge you, that something may be bothering you and I should turn the other cheek."
"I'm so sorry. I was just a kid and I was hurting and you tried talking to me the first day I came back and I just blew up at you but it was an accident. I just wanted to be left alone and everyone kept acting like everything was fine when I knew it wasn't. You asked me if I wanted to play hopscotch or tag with you but I didn't understand how anyone could play or laugh if my abuela was gone. That's all it was. It took me years to start to try and learn to just live like everyone else again. But then my abuelo died and I had lost the people I considered my parents. I had nothing left but Quinn and Britt. But then Britt left me to go start dating Mike and Quinn got pregnant and everything just fell apart. I didn't know what to do so I just lashed out like I always end up doing." It made sense. In fact Rachel thought it was exactly how she'd feel when she went back to school Monday. She wouldn't tell the club. They didn't care about her or her daddy and the last thing she needed was fake condolences and Mr. Shue's brand of bullshit sincerity.
"I understand. And I'm...I think I just want to sleep really if it's okay for me to cancel on our movie watching plans."
"Of course it is. Go ahead. I'll probably go to bed too after I take care of this. I hope you sleep okay. Night, Rachel."
The Latina watched as the other girl left the kitchen and headed up the stairs. She worried about her for obvious reasons. One being the fact that she'd had nightmares for the first four months after loosing her grandmother and she didn't want that for the already fragile girl. She was thankful she was a light sleeper. If Rachel woke up with a nightmare and needed her she'd be there.