Dear Bella,

I miss you and your mother dearly. I hope your behaving and getting good marks in school. Its almost Christmas time and I regret not being able to spend it with you and your mother. Captain has commanded we move to more southern waters, where we will be attacking Big Bertha, a German supply ship. What I tell you in these letters are between me you and God do not tell any one dearest child. Remember to say your prayers. I love both you and your mother.

Love Charlie

I reread my fathers letters for the hundredth time before placing them back into the old shoe box I was keeping them in. Father had been drafted into the war 3 months ago to work upon the USS Sealion. Within this lonely period of time father had sent me over 12 letters I have each all but memorized. Each letter contains where he is what he is doing and how much he loves me and wishes he was here. We share the same wish.

The Kings, our new neighbors, had came over for dinner. The small family consisting of only Mr. and Mrs. King and there daughter a few years my senior. All three were tall and almost identical with fair blonde hair and blue eyes. Their Daughter Rosalie was very hard to impress .I tried showing her my doll collection, which all the other girls at school were jealous of , but she could care less. After trying a few other things and desperate for my new German friend to like me I decided to show her father letters.

I handed Rosalie the small shoebox. She threw me a questioning look but proceeded to open the lid. When Angelina saw fathers worn letters her eyes lit up with a sparkle they had been lacking all night. Fathers letters were very precious to me, but why did she care her father was not fighting in the war far from home and family. Or so I thought.

The cold wind nipped at my face as I walked home from school . It was Monday and mother had gone to the post office to check to see if any letters from father had arrived. So I was not surprised to find myself alone when I arrived home. The heavy slam of the front door made me jump. The house had a odd aura to it as if someone had been there. I dragged my heavy school bad up the old creaky stairs leading to my room. The sight that met me as I opened the door to my escape surprised me. Everything had been gone through, tables tuned over, and my things scattered all over the room. I was shocked. The place I escaped to had been ransacked.

I stayed frozen in that place for what felt like hours until I heard the click of the front door. My muscles unlocked and allowed me to move.

"mother" my voice sounded distant even to me.

Hesitantly my mothers voice flowed up the stairs." Molly? What's wrong baby?"

Once my mother arrived upstairs I showed her what I found. She was very concerned and called the police. The police had asked about any valuables that could have had in the room.

the stories on the news about the German spies, how curious Mr. King was about the house insisting on seeing it, the way Rosalies eyes lighted up once she saw fathers letters it all clicked together.

"Officer, umm I think I might know why someone vandalized my room." tears sprang to my eyes as the possibility of what could happen played in my mind. " Our neighbors came over for dinner last night" I was trying to bite back a sob that threatened to rack through my body. " And I showed Rosalie my box of letters from father……he works on the USS Sealion. I am so sorry mother I ran to my mother hugging her closely , but I didn't miss the look of utter despair that crossed her face as her mind came to terms with my words.

" officer our neighbors are German. I knew there was something off about them. I would like you to look into this." my mothers voice was carefully collected. " molly where do you keep fathers letters?"

" I keep them under the bed in an old shoe box." I ran to look under my bed and my most prized possession had been moved from its proper space.

"mother its not here…."

"We will contact the chief of police and keep you informed." The officers gruff voice finalized my fears.

1 month later

I was walking home from school I hadn't gotten any letters from father lately and it scared me. I opened the front door and walked into the warm familiar house. I heard quiet sobs coming from the kitchen.

The clicking of my shoes and the smalls sobs echoing off the walls were the only things I could hear. As I entered the kitchen mother was curled into a tight ball on the floor, a fountain of tears poring from her swollen blood shot eyes. The smell of a strong whiskey engulfed the room.

"Mom?" my voice was barely above a whisper. The woman lying on the floor was not the mother I had kissed before school. She lifted a finger towards the table where a perfectly white letter was left open.

I quietly walked to the small wooden table pushed up against a wall in the kitchen and grabbed the letter.

Dear Mrs. Swan and family

On behalf of the United States Navy we are sorry to say the USS Sealion was sunk at approximately 3:30 A.M. on December 10, 1941. No survivors were found. He severed his country proudly………….

The letter kept going but the tears that were burning my eyes enabled me from finishing. The guilt hit me with tremendous power its force was overbearing. I was frozen, numb, the hot stream of tears that ran down my face was the only thing I felt.

I ran to the bathroom and slammed the door I stared ay my refection in the mirror. It wasn't fair to father had to die because I couldn't keep the letter hidden. God said murder was a sin, and I had killed a whole submarine full of people. People with families and friends. The guilt was making my mind swim I quickly opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed any bottles I could find . Once I had gathered them all I had a bunch all different shapes and sizes. I locked the door and prayed to the lord.

"Dear Lord, I am sorry for killing all those brave men on the ship. Please be with mother and the other families. Please let me into heaven so I can see father. Thank you ."

I grabbed the large blue pill and quickly tossed it back with some water, a green one, a little one, and a big white one followed its path. A wave of fog hit me. I swayed until I hit the tiled wall in back of me. I slid down the wall till I hit the cold hard floor. The torment I felt was overwhelming, but a small voice reminded me how much blood shed was caused because of me. I felt blackness begin to creep around me until I felt and heard nothing. I greeted the darkness, my last thought reached out to my grieving mother as I left behind.