Götterdämmerung, a yu-gi-oh! arc-v fanfic

Gotterdammerung

"Of course I can hear them too-" she admits after tearing her eyes away from the window barely just in time to see him taking one, two long strides and then Ray finds herself enveloped in his tight hold.

"I knew it, I knew it…" he continues to repeat the same over and over as he buries himself on the hollow of her neck, but Ray knew what laid behind those words:

'I'm not crazy, I'm NOT crazy…'

She knew because at this point of her life it was practically her survival mantra.

Her train of thought comes to halt when she realizes his nose is nuzzling her, at the same time that his hands start drawing patterns on her back.

A shiver runs down her back when his hot breath ghosts next to her ear.

"…Zarc." Feeling out of breath she started trying to put some much needed distance between them, and he heeds, he releases his hold on her and takes a step back as well, but never tearing his eyes away from her.

Waiting, asking, begging.

And when she glimpses at his eyes smolderingwith desire she knows she's lost, and he knows it as well because when Ray raises a hand to cup his face Zarc snatches it mid-air and places a kiss on her palm then lower to her wrist.

It always surprises her how soft and smooth they feel, a sharp contrast with her own eternally dry and chapped ones. And she is the one who takes the first step, yanking his ridiculous shirt and kisses him.

Ray wants him so much, she can no longer remember if there was a time where she didn't.

"Hi." Ray hears behind her as she closes her locker.

Through the mirror placed on the door she realizes it's the guy she just dueled and defeated on the circuit – Zarc, if memory doesn't fail her – and instinctively she hardened her expression and squared her shoulders before facing him.

"Hello." She responded in an even voice, she just wanted to get this over with and go home. "Can I help you?" she asked arms crossed placing her bag in between them, making clear she was on her way to leave, but it seemed to go right above his head as he continues to wear to wide and goofy grin on his head.

Why was he looking at her so intently? 'Unless… Not this again...' she thought sighing to herself.

"Y-yes! I mean… are you free after this?" He asked pointing between her locker and her sports bag.

"That depends" She answered feeling her brow furrow 'I knew it' she thought. "Are you planning on pry another duel out of me when I lower my guard?" she snapped punctuating each word by pointing at him.

"Yo- wha- why would I do that?" He sputtered looking aghast.

"Don't try to play innocent! Look can all if you newbies just take a single loss on a stride and move on with your lives?!" she yelled now very aware that they had an 'audience' now. "I mean these are the Pro Leagues, if you are going to act like little brats then maybe you should go back to the Junior league!"

When her tirade was over, her chest was heaving, the people in the locker room were whispering – no doubt about her – and Zarc was staring at her as if she'd grown a second head.

'I shouldn't-'

"Well I'll be damned!" he exclaimed at last throwing his arms up. "Want to ask someone to chat over a cup of tea or to the park and I get yelled for …what was that? A duel? A fight? Your gigantic ego?!" Zarc had now gotten on her face now and Ray had to force herself to squash down the tingling on her belly.

"…Tch why would I let you ask me out?" she muttered on low warning voice.

"Wow, wow a date? That's what ego is telling you now? As if I would ever be interested in such an arrogant b-"

"Don't you dare" she said through gritted teeth, getting even nearer to his face, this close she can appreciate his golden eyes, shimmering with rage now but not less beautiful because of it.

Ray finds herself biting her lip and an infinitesimal shift on his eyes makes sure just where he's staring at.

"…Wench" he muttered after a while, turning away from her, his whole body hunched over and his hands on his pockets, Ray on the other hand is trembling.

With rage, indignation, with… something she doesn't dare to name.

'…You should have listened...'

"Jerk!" she screamed throwing the mirror which crashes and shatters against the door he just slammed shut, the mutters grow in number and she turns back to the source. "What are you all looking at?!"

The utter silence that follows made her realize that all the time he had been there, the noise had been louder than usual, unbearable even.

This is bigger than any of them. That's the one thing Zarc has always been certain from the moment he met her on the dueling arena. The voices had been whispering into his ear since that day, over and over.

'She is the other one, she can hear us too…'

Still, right now there isn't much that Zarc wants to think about other than Ray, on how they are both stretched out on the bed, her bed - when did they reach it? He can't remember – and the room echoes with the wet sounds of their kissing, their moans and the ruffling of their clothes rubbing against each other insistently.

When he feels Ray biting softly on his lips and then sucking on them his mind goes blank. There is only her, her touch her smell, her warmth surrounding him whole, drowning him. Heavens, if this is how it feels now, how much more wonderful will it be when nothing stands in between them?

As if hearing his thoughts – maybe just as much as he swears he can feel hers? – Ray stops plundering his mouth and her hands hurry to unbutton his shirt with such urgency he feels himself going dizzy with a new pike of lust.

'She wants me, she wants me…'

'… She does, we wouldn't lie to you…'

Zarc looks closely at her face when she looks down to his bare chest and he can't help the whimper that escapes him when she places her hands on it, the tips of her fingers scorching, her eyes glazed over and her mouth formed a small 'o' when she gasped.

He wanted her, all of her, so much it hurt.

"What do you want?" Ray asked frowning at him, voice wary.

There she was: standing in front of his crouched form, looking at him as if he was something she found on the bottom of her boot. How weird would it be if said the truth? The one that this was truly just a coincidence, not that other truth…

"Well?" she pressed.

After all nobody wants to be trapped on some dingy, old and foul-smelling parking lot because of a stupid downpour with nothing to cover him but a newspaper, but of course she is nicely bundled up and with an umbrella…

'…Listen, you just want her to listen, just say it... '

"…Could ask you the same…" he muttered still feeling a bit stung for their last encounter, and to add salt to the injury he had had to deal with endless teasing from his so called comrades for wanting to woo on the Speeding Diva.

Idiots all of them, at least she had talked to him, even if it was to call him a jerk.

Damn! He was cold, but he resisted the urge of rubbing his hands together – he had no wishes to look even more miserable in her presence – or to sneak a look up her skirt.

"…Is your place too far away from here?" she asked again, and when he looked up again she was still frowning, but this time he wanted to believe it was out of worry.

"…About ten blocks." He lied, maybe then he would leave him alone, he didn't want to look at him now, looking like a sad little puppy, he didn't want her pity.

"I'll walk you up to it." She said offering her hand, and when he peered up at her he felt momentarily struck…

'…Take it, take it…'

"Sure." Even through his gloves he can feel her warmth, and his heartbeat races to a thunderous pace.

'…Get through her, tell her to listen…'

'What am I doing?'

The thought passed through Ray's head absentmindedly, not questioning the action itself – especially not when it felt so damn good – but why she was doing it.

'…Because he understands us, he understands you…'

Right, that's why.

She feels warm, so warm, drenched in sweat, nestled in between his legs, his chest – also very warm – pressed against her back, one of her hands is clutching at the bedsheets tightly, trying to keep herself somewhat grounded, the other was gripping at his scalp while he was nipping, licking and sucking on the bare skin of her back, shoulder and neck, his hands massaging her breasts in slow motions.

"Ray... Ray…" He chanted in between nips, almost adoringly and not for the first time, Ray wished she could see him, losing himself on the moment, in her, but his arms around her waist where the only support that allowed her to remain propped up, for she felt like a boneless heap under his attentions.

"…Kiss me" she managed in between gasps and she feels more than she hears the growl vibrating through him, all too happy to comply, but she only manages to glimpse a patch of his silver looks and his bright eyes before his lips catches hers.

Their kiss is slow and deep, she can feel his teeth grating on her lips right before he laps at her tongue, Ray feels so overwhelmed that when they both need to draw out for air, her breath hitches.

"Zarc…" she had failed to notice when his hand sneaked between her thighs, so, so close.

"Can I…?" he asks, voice strained while he strokes the thin fabric: the only barrier left along with his own underwear.

Ray feels delirious, she can't bring herself to say no, she is not sure if she could ever deny him, heck she doesn't how to make herself want to.

The park helps her calm down, it's noisy yes, but it's the normal type of noisy that she can easily associate with traffic, children and the occasional duel playing out in some of the fields, in crowded places like these she won't need to worry.

'Rule #1: Don't attract their attention'

"Sup!" Ray has to force herself not to jump when she hears his voice again, she grips her book tighter and continues to read the line where she left off, over and over.

"Ray?"… She tried to pretend she's not listening to him, never raising her nose from the now jumbled words staring back from the pages.

'…Just talk to him, he knows…'

After all she's practically an expert on ignoring intruders.

'Rule # 2: Don't speak back to them'

"Oi!" A gloved hand took away her book and Ray has to force herself to remain in place, still refusing to look up, it's an old book and she's sure she saw a copy of it on her Dad's shelf. "Why are you doing this…? I thought… after last time…" he sounded positively crushed and Ray forced her eyes to remain down.

'Rule # 3: Don't stare back at them'

Those were Ray's sacred rules that had allow her to surf through life with some semblance of normalcy, and she wasn't about to lose it because some… someone.

'…just like you, he's different…'

Careful not to eye even the smallest spec of him she gets up from the bench and turns to the road exactly opposite to him, he had fallen silent now so hopefully he had finally taken the hint, and they would never have to cross paths again.

She could go back to live her life, they both could.

Zarc seemed to disagree however and Ray felt a tug on her elbow, despite the large hand it felt like a child's touch, the grip was gentle and loose and she could just tore her arm away and be free from it, something told her that if she did that, then this would definitely be the last she'd see of him.

'…Gone forever…'

'I'm must be losing it…' she thought as she turned to face him, he looked so small and hopeless but something crossed his eyes when she met his eyes again, as usual her head was filled with so much noise that she felt disoriented.

Ray idly wondered if her presence was just as deafening to him.

'…It is…'

And just like that other night, under the foyer of his apartment, Ray cupped his face and kissed him.

"Fu-" He swallows the profanity before it slips past his lips, instead it came off as a snarl and his hands grips her hips tighter, holding on for dear life.

Ray doesn't seem to mind – even if he's sure it will leave bruises – instead she adjusts her pace to his jerk motions, meeting his thrusts with her own and he's sure he will go insane, to his delight it has a similar reaction on Ray: her motions become irregular and her hands – gripping his shoulders until now – start to tremble, digging her nails into his skin, her moans sharper and louder now.

Zarc doesn't understand how he could have gone so long without this feeling, without her.

Everything about Ray drives him over the edge, not that he was ever unfamiliar with it, but here with her writhing on top of him, Zarc no longer fears what's on the other side, he almost feels angry for all the wasted time they could have had together.

Why couldn't the voices guide him to her sooner?

'...You are but two people in a vast world…'

Nonsense, two parts of a whole should always find each other.

"Zarc…" he loves hearing his name on her lips, it makes him want to swallow each time she calls it with a kiss. "Zarc…" …but below her breathy moans there is a sense of urgency, she's trying to say something, and she slows down.

'No… don't stop please… don't leave me…' he wants to say but it comes out as a sob at best which he sucks in when he feels her hands brush the bangs off his eyes, and he tried to focus on her but his vision is too blurry.

"Zarc… Look at me" she said and stops completely now, making him snap out of the pleasure-induced stupor, he wants to whine at her for torturing him, but when he rises slightly the words die on his tongue:

His eyes rake up to her form, bathed on the dimming sunlight she is a vision of red, orange, golden and purple hues, colors he never cared for too much, but in Ray they are so beautiful he needs to drink in the sight, to look at her closer.

When she at an arm's reach, she takes hold of his face with both hands forcing him to stare directly into her eyes – he knows they're blue but this close he can see purple specs in them – and he closes in even more by wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I… I-" 'I love you' he meant to say but Ray was kissing him again, and he tried to convey his feelings as much as he could through the action.

'I love you… I love you… I love you…' his mind repeats over and over hoping that she understands, but at that moment she starts to move against him once more his mind muddles in a mesh of images, colors and sensations, the previous eagerness and frantic energy is gone, instead she grinds her body against his in circular motions.

This new rhythm is slow, so impossibly slow and deep, and yet it's better than anything he felt before; with her body pressed closely against him, her aroma invading his nostrils and the taste of her skin are so overwhelming he feels weightless, like a bundle of nerves rather than a person, not sure of where she ends and where he begins.

He's ok with that.

Ray is an ocean he wants to lose himself in, always exploring its treasures, its hidden passages or die trying for never coming out for air.

Never found, just lost inside her, always.

Weird.

Somehow Zarc had always thought she lived with her father – Some famous researcher whose name escapes him at the moment – but her apartment is clearly meant for living alone. There is one room, one closet, one set of plates and cutlery; one of everything. The small kitchenette smells of recently made coffee and toast, he sits on the table – also meant for one – and eats the breakfast left on the counter.

Ray is nowhere to be seen so he waits for he has no matches scheduled for today (Maybe she does?) And occupies himself by talking to his cards again.

'You were out if it for too long, did she beat you?'

His lips tug up in a smile.

"Yeah she did…" he said feeling his face warm at the memories, he was no stranger to sex but it had been…

'…You should go before she comes back…'

He frowns at this, eyeing up the card: For it's Astrograph talking this time, which is curious on its own, he only speaks up about important matters.

"I thought you wanted us to be… well" It's silly that he feels blushing to the tips of his hair now, after all they all know the… events transpired, "…together." Zarc feels giddy at the thought, it makes him feel all tingly and warm, but he forces himself to calm down.

After all it's not like he already pictures how he will propose to her – in the Duel Arena with the biggest fireworks and everyone cheering for them – or their wedding – A huge celebration where everyone in the city should be invited – or how many kids they would have – it depends on her, but he would not mind two little bundles of joy – or anything of the like, no sir.

'…It was a means to an end… We wanted her to listen…'

Uh? That made his fantasy come to a halt, but before he could form a question the cards where all talking over each other and he could barely follow:

'I told you this was a mistake'

'…She's the only other one, but she won't budge…'

'…no good, she's no good…'

'…The damage It's done, look at him! He's gone all stupid now'

'Yeah! How is he to become a good vessel if-'

'…You think we should-'

'Ssshh! Not here…'

They all went quiet then, and Zarc has a nagging feeling on his head, something about what he just heard doesn't feel… right. But his cards have never hid things from him, they've never lead him astray, it's fine.

He can trust them, he always will.

By nightfall, he awakes on the tiny couch of the tiny living room and Zarc can tell she was here: the bed is made, there is another used cup next to the one he drank from in the morning and he is sure the TV was on when he dozed off.

There are no messages – either on paper or his duel disk – no more coffee left, only a lone plate with lots of coins and some cash on a plate with a hastily scribbled paper that reads: 'Taxi money'

When she feels herself coming back to her senses, Ray is aware of the extra weight on top of her, she is also aware of whom it belongs to.

Zarc barely stirs up – musing something about pancakes – when she pushes him off her.

Suddenly all the thoughts that she had managed to keep at bay for most of the night came back to her mind like a truckload, all the reasons she shouldn't have invited him over, why she should just have lied to him, or why they shouldn't have…

'…Here, we're here too…'

'Oh Gods…' She practically jumps off the bed when she remembers all the things they did last night, of all the times she had gave in to them…

'…It will be all right…'

She needed to get out of here, she thought over and over while she dressed up in record time, renouncing the shower for fear that it would be the one thing waking him up.

For fear of not being able to deny him… no, to deny herself again.

'…Don't leave…'

*ARE YOU SURE YOU WISH TO BLOCK THIS CONTACT?*

Ray muses over the options on the screen while trying to calm down her nerves – She really shouldn't have drank all that coffee – when she finally stops idling around outside her door and decides to enter.

Dreading that he will still be there – it was pure luck he was dead asleep the first time – looking at her with the same puppy eyes from the last few times or wanting to get a repeat of their …tryst.

The word felt so crude in Ray's head.

But when se touches the handle, she knows that he isn't in there for it's quiet, almost too quiet and she allows herself to breath in relief before strolling into her place, she was so tired – over 10 duels in a row will do that to anyone - that all she wanted was to lay down, even eating or changing into her sleepwear seemed way too much effort.

Any other day she would have just walked past any domestic disaster – something her Dad never got tired of reminding her – but this time a glint, no, lots of different glints caught her eye from the floor.

Coins, all of them sprawled on it reflecting the moonlight, along with the shards of her multiuse plate – usually for change or her keys, and for other … monetary needs – she is gonna have to clean this, otherwise she may end up hurting herself in the morning haze while trying to fish for her breakfasts supplies.

'Jerk, idiot, gigantic asshole…' she called him in her mind a myriad of words, each one worse that the last, while she searched for a broom.

Later that night she practically punched the 'ok' button at the reminder on her screen:

*ARE YOU SURE YOU WISH TO BLOCK THIS CONTACT?*

Good riddance.

The day after there is blood on the arena, and for the longest minute ever Ray is not sure what to feel, or even what to think, the noise won't let her.

Then people cheer, and she thinks that maybe it's not such a big deal, she doesn't blame Zarc for playing along, an entertainer must always deliver after all and understands the heady feeling of being the middle of an ovation, the adrenaline, the energy…

The power.

It's going to be fine.

Now if only the noise would stop already.

During his fast-track ascension to fame Ray sees little of Zarc

On one hand is a relief, she wasn't ready to deal with the aftermath of their… encounter, whether or not he thinks of her or how often is no longer her problem, and for the first time since she met him he no longer looks lost or indecisive, his duels now are full of a new energy that are always followed by awe and deafening ovation.

He seems to have found his life calling, and Ray tries to be happy for him.

The key word being tryingof course, especially each time that she herself has found herself retaliating to some duelists getting rough on her, Ray remembers vividly the night when her Dad had brought to attention the blood stains on her sleeve.

It had taken all her willpower not wretch and puke right there and then.

Which brings about the other side of the matter: the few times she did see him around – never on the Arena again she had made sure of that too – she feels her chest constrict.

With worry, regret… longing.

Ray remembers in particular one time when he was leaving the breaking room at the time she was arriving, his hand brushed hers for the briefest moment, and they had both turned to face each other at the same time.

His eyes widened, mirroring her own.

"…Hi." He said in a low voice. "You're next right?" Ray simply nodded her answer, her voice will betray her, she's sure of it. "Oh… Good luck." He said not waiting for an answer, walking away from her.

That night sleep had evaded Ray the whole night, her body tossing and twisting in a heinous act of betrayal, her mind was no better throwing at her vivid memories if his hands, his lips, the way he made her feel.

His eyes full of love.

Zarc is laureate as champion now, right after his last opponent – the previous champion – is carried away in an ambulance.

He pays no mind, no one in the audience does; the noise has never stopped either, Ray has already become accustomed to it.

For a the briefest of moments Ray thinks that she can feel a looming shadow where he stands, but maybe is just the blinding reflectors of the arena that make Zarc's shadow look so huge, so black, so… inhuman.

Then she can feel his eyes on her, all the way from her seat across his spot in the podium, and somehow she knows that he will come to her tonight.

Unless she beats him to it, she thought.

Ray takes a decision and tries to tell herself that his shadow didn't seem to move at a different pace than him, that it's just her imagination.

"Hello Ray." He draws out as soon as he hears her footsteps enter the break room, he doesn't bother to get up from his lounged form on the couch, Zarc knows it's her, and they are finally alone.

Nobody will bother them, he's made sure of that.

'…No good, no good, make her leave…'

'Shut it'

"…I'm the Duel Champion now" he stated looking to the side after her expression remains unimpressed and he adds: "…I thought you may want to congratulate me, after all we used to be so…closely involved."

Now that manages to get a double-take out of her, good she has not forgotten, but then she chuckles low and contented.

"Is all that you made me come here for? To rub your new little trophy and title on my face?" She turns her back to him now and make her way to reach for the door again. "And what was that? How petty of you to deal low blows over a mere liaison-" …For a couple of seconds he sees nothing but red and Zarc is on his feet before he himself notices trapping her in between the damned door and himself.

Ray looks shocked for as long as ten seconds before she glares at him again.

'…Didn't we told you? She's vacuous and fleeting…'

"…You wench!" he snarled and he feels like his heart will burst out of his chest any minute now, how dares she?! To make fun of him, of that night that had been… He tears away from her.

'…Like them, she looks down us, on you…'

The voices, the voices are murmuring again, showing him things, things his mind can barely hope to understand, the more he lets them, the louder they get and the more space they take on his head; thus leaving less of him each time.

'…Do not desire for such an incomplete creature…'

And Zarc is not sure if he should mind, is not like he ever liked himself that much anyway.

"Why do you cry?" he hears Ray ask.

"I'm not…" But he can't finish as he feels a tear running down his cheek, then other and another one.

"Zarc… you need help, you're bleeding…" she attempted to grab his hand, but even through the gloves – they feel sticky and are staining a crimson color – he knows he won't be able to withstand it, he attempts to push himself up to stroll past her and her damn eyes.

But he only makes it as far as she touches his elbow.

He hates the whimper that escapes his mouth at the realization, he hates how blindingly beautiful she is even with dark circles around her eyes, he hates how quick his heart beats at the mere thought of her.

Zarc is not strange to feeling hate for himself, for others, but he could never in this life or the next bring himself to hate her.

That's why he had to get away from her.

But she's already removing his gloves, her eyes shocked when the bruised and manhandled skin, comes into view and he waits, waits for her to drop it in disgust, to look at him as if he was a freak, or to just watch him with pity.

Instead she traces the scars old and new, careful to avoid the open wound, and Zarc feels himself wrench and stutter, every time she touches him it feels like she can stare right past his skin, like there is something so deeply entwined between them that pushes both of them together, uncaring of whether is causes them pain or to bleed their hearts out.

And for all that is why Zarc wants to tuck that feeling into his chest, his very soul, to the point he would have to be buried with it.

He's not just imagining it now – or fantasizing it – Ray is closing in the distance between them, and Zarc comes undone over the realization.

The desperation the both feel is palpable as they carelessly fall into the uncomfortable couch, the clothes stay on this time, mindful of the place they are, only loosening up the unnecessary garments, as they press, bite and scratch at the other.

There are no illusions that this could ever be soft and loving, there never were.

"I love you…"

"…I know… I love you too…"

"Then stay, stay with me…"

"…I can't."

How long has it been since the awakening of Zarc?

Ray stopped counting the days after a while, she sees no point when people are struggling to get things like food, water and shelter

But she knows there are people out there for whom keeping track of the dates and events keeps them grounded, who have a need to document every happening in their lives no matter how inconsequential, because the mind is a more fragile thing that one would like to think, you can't always trust it.

In contrast to keep records means to be able to look back and read them and back up their memories, their sense of reality with them.

Looking down at what she managed to get out of what used to be Zarc's apartment she realizes he is – Was? – One of those people.

Notebooks, journals, newspapers, magazines and even some photos.

Ray can barely sort through his notes without feeling sick to the stomach, they all start pretty normal, if somewhat childish and simplistic, then the handwriting starts to becomes less detailed, the lines become loopy, side and even backwards, the cute and funny doodles become nonsensical scribbles and weird symbols that Ray can only compare to ancient engravings, soon the words are left behind along with the scary but still somewhat normal drawings become splotches of black ink, some of which look suspiciously like spilt blood.

It's like watching a painting you never paid much attention to it, or one that you always looked on the wrong side or focusing on the wrong details, one that she had never been able to make sense of until she had the full perpective of it.

A picture of madness.

Ray's mind is in a reel after she forces herself to read or attempt to read all of those 'notes', and her mind goes back to her Dad's underground shelter which now doubles as a lab where he keeps working on his project to stop Zarc's siege.

If he succeeds – and he will succeed, past experience tells her this – then it will be over, for him and for Zarc.

And Ray cannot let that happen.

This was my gift to sketched_daydreams (on Tumblr) for the Secret Santa on 2016, I chose the zarcray prompt back then.

So this is sort of like an attempt to portray how Zarc and Ray may have had known each other before their confrontation in the series, obviously this is all speculation and headcanons including the personalities I gave them - althought I did try to give them traits from their reincarnations - and how they both interacted with their special ehem gift.

Also it may not look like it at first but this was partly inspired by the actual opera of Wagner (partcularly the last part)