A/N I do not own any of the original Sons of Anarchy characters or stories, they belong to Kurt Sutter.

I want to dedicate this one shot to Janet McCormick and Tina Edsall from Sons of Anarchy Fan Fiction Central (Facebook group) who suggested I do justice for Tara after the airing of "Faith and Despondency". I also wanted to give a special thank you to MiMi Hiddleston for allowing me to bounce ideas around and for the continued support you've shown. If you haven't already please check out her work under Emeli Thorne.

SOASOASOASOASOA

Jax's lips devoured hers, biting and sucking until they became plump. His tongue explored her mouth, swallowing each of her moans. While driving her into pure bliss, he made quick work of their clothes removing all but his boxers and her panties. His mouth left hers only to explore her neck, doing a combination of licks, bites and soothing kisses. He soon found himself needing more, needing to be inside her. He cupped her butt and lifted her up so she could wrap both legs around his waist locking her feet at the small of his back. Jax set her down gently on to the bed and reached a hand to remove his boxers when he heard, "Really Jackson, you couldn't even wait an entire month before fucking some whore!"

Pulling away from the kiss and out of the embrace Jax scanned the room before returning his gaze back to the woman underneath him, "Tara?"

Winsome sat up on her elbows, "Who the hell is Tara?"

"Yeah Jackson, who the hell is Tara? Or have you already forgotten?"

"Tara is…" Jax paused guilt overpowering his thoughts, "…my wife."

Outraged Winsome yelled, "Your wife, the other girls told me you were a widower." Winsome pushed at his chest to get him to move. Jax however wouldn't budge, instead he proceeded to explain, "Yeah, she died..." Emotions flooded all of Jax's senses, he couldn't think of what to say next. He never thought he would hear her voice again let alone when he was seconds away from shoving his dick into a whore. He chuckled softly to himself thinking her timing was poetic. Winsome looked to him with a desperate expression wanting to understand this man's sudden shift in moods. Seeing this Jax continued, "Sorry, you remind me of…"

Cutting him off Tara yelled, "Jackson Nathanial Teller don't you dare compare me to some fucking whore!"

Hanging his head Jax said in a defeated tone, "Please babe, you have to understand."

"What exactly is it that I have to understand Jackson?" Met with silence she continued, "Our boys are being raised by a psycho, an ex-junkie, croweaters and porn stars while you are out either killing people, getting people killed or getting your dick wet. Did I leave anything out or does that about sum it up?"

Jax rolled off of Winsome, onto his back, he proceeded to take a moment to look up at the ceiling and collect his thoughts. Winsome took the silence as a queue to leave slipping out of the bed and through the door.

"Babe I'm so lost without you. It's like my light is gone and all I have surrounding me is eternal darkness. I was just trying to feel something, anything. Besides she sort of reminded me of you."

"Really Jackson a whore reminded you of me, do tell?!"

"I don't know babe, there is just an innocence about her that calls to something inside me. I feel like I need to look out for her, protect her."

"Protect her? Isn't killing her pimp and offering her a fucking job protection enough? Why does protecting her have to include getting into bed together at the brothel we were married in? You should be at home with our two beautiful sons instead of at a whore house getting your dick wet or have you forgotten about them to? You don't deserve those boys, just like you didn't deserve the love I had for you. I gave you and your precious club everything, including my life, and in return what did I get?!" Not waiting for a response Tara continued, "I'll tell you what I got; half-truths when I asked for full disclosure, lies when you told me you were leaving SAMCRO and getting our family out of Charming, a broken heart every time I caught you with some whore, and a grave you have yet to visit." Tara paused to see if her words were sinking in or falling on deaf ears. When she saw grief flicker across his face she continued, "I don't know what I expected, you couldn't keep it in your pants while I was alive so why would you now that I'm dead? I guess I just thought our love meant something to you, but I'm starting to see the truth. That all that "there's only one face I see" and "I've loved you since I was 16" were just lines you used to get me to stay because you couldn't stand being alone."

"Tara, how can you think that?"

"One, my body isn't even cold in the ground yet and your fucking some whore. Two, you barely spend time with our sons and when you do they are lucky to get a "you okay, little man" or a pat on the head. Three, you are more concerned with starting a fucking gang war in the name of avenging my death than you are of actually carrying out my only wish. 'Get our boys out of Charming and away from your damn mother'. Shall I continue or is three examples enough?"

"Babe believe me when I tell you, I have only ever loved you. You stole my heart when we were 16 and seeing your body on the kitchen floor of the home we made together destroyed something in me. I was broken after I watched my best friend die. You said it yourself I turned into a monster, someone you no longer recognized. Now that I've lost you I'm scared to even look at what I've become. I can't bring myself to hold our sons because of the blood on my hands, but I also can't stop. I can't stop until I bring down those responsible for your death. I have to make it right, correct some of my mistakes. Once I finish this I will do as I promised and I will take our boys and leave Charming, give them the life you always wanted to."

"Baby I…"

Jax interrupted, "No Tara let me finish. I'm sorry for not telling you everything as you asked for it, you had a right to know what you were getting yourself into by staying and standing by me. I'm sorry I broke your heart time and time again. First with Ima, than Collette and now Winsome. You deserved better then and your memory deserves better now. You always said cheating was a deal breaker yet I kept testing your loyalties; kept putting myself, my feelings above yours. That ends today, I'm not saying that I'm going to live my life celibate but what I'm saying is until I can leave Charming with our sons and until I truly come to terms with your loss I will not degrade your memory by ignoring our sons and fucking whores."

Teary eyed, "Oh Jackson those things are all I've ever wanted it's sad it took my death to get you to say those things. I only ask that you please do it before it is to late, forget about the blood that "needs" to spill and just save our boys before it's the blood of an innocent son instead of the blood of an enemy"

And like that she was gone again…

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A/N Janet and Tina I hope I did (ghost) Tara justice! Samantha Renk the next one shot is dedicated to you and will be posted soon! Tara will be alive in said one shot...