A/n: Warning, I have no idea what this is supposed to be… Spoilers for episode 25 (and 37 I suppose), but I'm sure that by now everyone knows what happened and no one was shocked by it.

This will not make much sense, and it is completely plotless, and I wrote it for entirely selfish reasons; I wanted to make myself feel better after watching L…go.

Disclaimer: Death Note is not my baby. If it was, L would have made it.

Ringing. He can hear ringing. Something sonorous and dark and it feels foreboding; and he knows even if he runs, there will be no stopping it. So he continues to stand, because there is nothing else left for him to do.

He knows what he looks like, how strange he looks, more so than normal if it's possible; but he doesn't feel the rain. Nothing matters at this point.

"What are you doing out here Ryuzaki?" Raito-kun is there, under the overhang of the building's staircase, the one L himself climbed hours ago. L wants to laugh, but since when has this been funny?

Can Raito-kun not hear the ringing, he wonders idly. How can anyone miss it?

His words get in the way and tangle everything. Nothing comes out, nothing of consequence. He says too much, more than he wanted to initially, but it's not enough.

"I'm sorry." He words are true, he is sorry, but his apology is rooted deeper in his heart than he would have liked. The words keep rolling around his mouth, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," until he cannot remember why he apologized in the first place and Raito-kun is looking at him so genuinely it takes L a moment to remember who he is.

Kira.

But this time, he cannot bring himself to care.

Because Kira-kun understands him. And Kira-kun doesn't judge him. But Kira-kun hates him, so maybe Kira-kun is not as like him as he thought.

Because even though L knows Kira-kun will be the death of him, he cannot hate Kira-kun, Raito-kun.

"Let's go."

"We're soaking wet…"

And as they dry off, L is struck by the sight of Raito-kun, he wants to do something for Raito-kun, even if these feelings are one-sided or wrong or strange (like their possessor).

Raito-kun is upset and petulant and L finds it endearing, and as he finishes he watches the remnants of the rain fall from his wet hair onto Raito-kun's foot and frowns at how wrong it seems for something that has touched L to touch Raito-kun.

But L is soon distracted from his thoughts as Raito-kun, L's friend, brushes the water from his brow gently, as one would treat an ill child. L's "sorry"s spill from his lips again, and he's still unsure why he's apologizing, but he knows it's true, and that's what's important.

The silence stretches, and L doesn't find it uncomfortable, doesn't want to fill it necessarily, but he speaks, regardless.

"I'm sad."

And it's the truest thing he's ever said.

Note: I have seen roughly 8 episodes of Death Note, two of which were episodes number 25 and 37. The rest were around 1-10. Ok? So I know very little about this anime and I know I got everything wrong, but I wanted to write something strange, even if I got all the facts wrong.

But seriously, I know it was bizarre, it's meant to be bizarre…

One last thing: I hate Light for doing what he did. I despise him for betraying his "friend" even though they weren't. I despise him for acting so broken and upset when L falls. I hate him for forcing Rem into that position. I just plain hate Light. I laughed when he died.