Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

The Beginning

Sonea was tired, more tired, in fact, than she had ever been in her life before and because she was forbidden to use magic unless Akkarin gave her permission, even a little Healing was beyond her. She looked up, shading her eyes from the burning sun, Where was he? At first, she could see no movement amongst the tumbled rocks and boulders ahead, but as she concentrated, she could make out a figure climbing high above her. She watched for a moment, wondering where he got the energy to keep up his relentless pace.

It was three days since they had been solemnly put over the border into Sachaka to the echo of the ritual words of banishment. Their escort had maintained an icy distance for the entire journey from Imardin, only Osen had been willing to exchange a few words occasionally. She had found it all very difficult. She had never ridden a horse before, so her muscles constantly ached. Although, she thought ruefully, at least I could use Healing then. But it was the feeling of isolation which had really dampened her spirits. Even Akkarin, who should have been her ally, was cold and distant, preferring to ride on in silence.

In many ways, it seemed the Guild had not really thought about the practicalities of their exile. At one point it looked as if they would be sent into Sachaka still dressed, albeit rather raggedly, as Guild magicians. It was only when Akkarin pointed out the likely consequence of wearing robes inside Sachaka that Balkan had arranged for a set of ordinary clothing for each of them.

She looked down at her coarse shirt, worn trousers and thin cloak and wondered again whose clothes they had been. Probably some farmer's wife, she thought. It had been strange seeing Akkarin dressed in lay clothes. She was so used to seeing him in the High Lord's impressive robes, that it was quite a shock to see his formerly imposing presence reduced by the shabby shirt and trousers. He hadn't shaved since leaving the Guild and already a dark growth was shading his lower face. She briefly wondered about her own appearance. Luckily, her short, curly hair was easy to manage, although it felt sticky with dust when she ran her fingers through it. They hadn't found much water, so washing was practically impossible. Akkarin had frowned when she'd used a little trickle to wipe over her face. When was that? she wondered. Oh, yes, that was yesterday.

She looked to where she'd last seen Akkarin. There was a shimmer of heat haze which made it difficult to see clearly. She scanned the rocks but could see nothing. It was typical of him, she thought angrily, to move ahead and leave her to stumble on after him. He had done the same thing before. Was that yesterday, or the day before? She was terrified of losing track of time and it was so easy to do in this hostile place, where one day followed on another in much the same way.

She decided to stop. If he wonders where I am, he can come back and find me! she thought grumpily. She looked around and found a sandy spot between two boulders. She sat down with a groan as her muscles protested at the unaccustomed movement. She settled herself against one of the rocks and closed her eyes, to rest them from the strong light of the setting sun.

"Wake up, Sonea, there's no time for that!" Akkarin's voice was sharp with disapproval.

Sonea opened her eyes, blinking in the sudden light. He was standing over her, his face a mask of cold dislike.

"I….I'm sorry," she stuttered, "I only closed my eyes for a moment…."

She tried to scramble up quickly, but her body betrayed her and she fell back into the hollow. Akkarin bent down and grasped her arm and hauled her upright. There was no gentleness in his actions, but they were very effective. She swayed a little, but stood firm.

"I've found a cave in the rocks ahead where we can rest for the night," his tone was matter-of-fact, with no warmth in it. "There's a small entrance, but it widens out inside so we should be able to stretch out to rest properly."

She was really too weary to speak, so she merely nodded. She listened to his instructions and when he turned to set off for the cave, she followed after him like a puppy. The route led up into the tumble of rocks she had seen him climbing earlier. She couldn't prevent a groan escaping her as she scrambled after him. She hoped he hadn't heard her, but it seemed he had because he turned and held out his hand. She took it and as he pulled her upwards, she felt a small trickle of Healing ease the worst of her aches and pains.

"Thank you," she said but he ignored her gratitude, as he did most of her words. She could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he had spoken to her, apart from issuing instructions, since leaving the Guild. At first she had been bewildered, then upset, but now she was angry.

The sun sank slowly as they climbed, taking some of the heat with it, but it was still an unpleasant sticky experience. It took them almost an hour to reach the high cave. As he'd said, once she squeezed through the narrow entrance, Sonea could see a large, sandy area where several people could comfortably stretch out. There was nothing in the cave apart from a few loose rocks scattered near the walls. She stared upwards but couldn't make out how high the roof was. She looked optimistically around, hoping to see the telltale signs of damp which might indicate some water trickling through the rock, but there was nothing to disturb the uniformly dry surface of the walls.

She unwound her cloak from around her waist where she'd tied it earlier and spread it out on the floor. She looked around for Akkarin, but he hadn't followed her into the cave. She was really past caring. She lay down on her cloak and shut her eyes.

When she opened them again, the cave had grown dark. She lit a small globe light, almost without thinking, until she remembered Akkarin's prohibition against using magic and hastily banished it. In the brief time of the light's existence, she saw she was alone. She sighed loudly. He really was very irritating. Not only did he refuse to talk to her, he didn't tell her what he was doing or where he was going either!

She had no idea how much time had passed since she had lain down on her cloak and she didn't know when Akkarin would return. There was little she could do, so she lay down again with her eyes shut. This time she couldn't fall asleep. She found herself straining to hear sounds of Akkarin's return. He might be a silent presence, but at least he was a presence. There was something about Sachaka, which sent chills down Sonea's back. She didn't know what it was, but it seemed to be threatening and dangerous. Having Akkarin with her seemed to keep the chills at bay.

It sounds as if I miss him! she thought incredulously and put her hand over her mouth to prevent a stray giggle from escaping. But the more she thought about it, the truer the words became, she did miss Akkarin's presence. He was familiar, he was part of home and he helped to lessen the feeling of exile.

She heard a faint scraping movement and knew that Akkarin had come back. She stayed still on her cloak, pretending sleep. She really couldn't face another forced conversation of monosyllabic responses to her questions. She heard his footsteps grate on the sandy floor as he made his way over to where she was.

"Sonea, I have food."

She sat up and found him kneeling next to her, holding out his hand. When she looked, she could see a collection of berries and nuts, along with some stalks of a reddish-green plant.

"It's not much, but there's nothing else," as he spoke, Akkarin poured the food into her palm. "There's no water nearby, but if you suck on the stalks, you'll find moisture enough."

She mumbled her thanks as she took the small portion. The berries were starting to wither and tasted sharp and acidic. The nuts in contrast were sweet and wholesome. All too soon, the berries and nuts were gone, leaving her still hungry. She noticed that Akkarin had eaten nothing and wondered if he had given her everything he'd found. She was afraid to ask in case she discovered he really had sacrificed his own meal and she wasn't sure how she felt about that.

He was right about the stalks. As she sucked, the plant leaked a flat, dusty tasting liquid. It was unpleasant, but it did provide a trickle of moisture to ease her parched throat. It didn't take long for the stalks to be sucked dry. The cave was now almost totally dark and she could no longer discern Akkarin's outline.

"Get some sleep, I'll take the first watch." His voice came suddenly out of the gloom, making her jump.

"I can do that," she offered, "You did go and find the food."

"Go to sleep, Sonea," he said firmly and she heard him move towards the cave entrance.

She stifled an urge to argue and flung herself down on the cloak, pulling it tightly around her. One thing she had learned in her three days in Sachaka was that no matter how hot the days were, the nights were very cold indeed.

But sleep, so devoutly wished for earlier eluded her. Her mind refused to be calm and she found herself going over and over again the events of the past few days. It hardly seemed credible that a week ago, she was living in the Residence, the High Lord's Novice and secret ally in his fight against the Ichani black magicians. How had it ended here, in a bare cave, in the wastelands of Sachaka?

She found herself replaying the Hearing. She remembered her shock at finding the Guild was willing to exile Akkarin but would let her remain. She remembered her feeling of contempt for a group of Magicians who, unable or willing to kill their High Lord, had done the next best thing and exiled him to a place where his chances of survival were slim. It had only taken a moment for her to refuse her own judgement. As she made her ringing statement 'If you send High Lord Akkarin into exile, you must send me too. Then, when you come to your senses, he might still be alive and able to help you' part of her mind was shrieking No! No! Stay here and be safe!

She had looked over at Akkarin, expecting to see…something, sympathy perhaps, or even gladness that he would not journey alone, but she had been shocked to see his expression of deep anger and frustration. That had been the first sign of his future relationship with her because after he had urged her to stay and she'd refused a second time, he did not speak willingly to her again.

She sighed and rolled over clutching her cloak to keep out the chill. How long can he refuse to talk to me? But she had no answer. She tried a few mental exercises in an effort to lull her brain to sleep but without success. After a while, she got up and, straining her eyes to find her way, crept slowly to the cave entrance. She squeezed outside, looking for Akkarin. The Eye had risen, but not being full, gave off only a weak light. She couldn't see him at first, but then saw him sitting, his back against a boulder, watching the road far below in the base of the valley. As she made her way toward him, he turned to look at her.

"What do you want?" His voice was low and she could barely hear him.

"I can't sleep, so I'll stand watch," she replied, equally quietly, although she didn't see why there would be anyone nearby to hear their conversation.

He turned back to where he had been looking, out over the valley. "I'm all right, go and rest, it will be a long, hard day tomorrow."

She stared at him in frustration. If he was trying to make her feel useless, he was succeeding. She sat down beside him and pulled at his sleeve.

"Why are you whispering?" she said angrily, "And why keep watch? There's no one here! This is a wasteland, no one lives here!"

"You heard Balkan's mental message to the Guild. He told them we had been put over the border."

She nodded, it had been a powerful message and she was sure everyone in the Guild had heard it.

"Who would hear that message, Sonea?"

What a silly question. "All magicians," she said, then paused. Ichani were magicians too. All at once she knew what Akkarin was concerned about, that the Ichani would come looking for them now they knew where they were. Look for us to kill us or make us slaves, she thought with a shudder.

"I see, I'm sorry, Akkarin," she said, "I understand."

"Good, now go back and rest. I'll call you when I need you."

She rose to her feet and walked back to the cave.