Author Notes: Written a couple of years ago. Still find it hilarious. Was obviously not awake while writing it. Hope you enjoy!
disclaimer: disclaim'd
pairings/characters: L, Raito (Light)
warnings/notes: ah... nothing. except L is so fun to write.
No Rest for the Wicked
by scelerus animus
- o -
After two straight days without sleep because of a momentary breakthrough in the Kira case and Ryuuzaki's zealous insomnia, the appallingly bright blue light emanating from the computer monitor blurs in Raito's vision, and the irksome droning buzz emitted by the computer terminals fade away into the background. Raito's eyes drift close, blissful sleep finally over-washing him.
Then he jerks awake. Lurches forward in the rolling computer chair, back popping loudly like a firecracker at the hasty movement, brown eyes snapping open with unwanted wakefulness.
Of course, as dictated by the cruel laws of nature (Kira does not follow these insipid laws, but then he is not Kira, of course), a sudden shrill beeping echoes in the darkened hotel room and vindictively breaks through the beginnings of Raito's blessed doze.
His cell phone. It's ringing. The annoying, juvenile tune that alerts Raito someone has just text-messaged him.
Growling irritably as he snatches the small cellular device from atop the computer desk, Raito silently, irately vows that he will kill whoever has sent him the text message, even if it causes Ryuuzaki's constant percentage of "Yagami-kun is Kira" to spike considerably.
As Raito impatiently glances at the name on the front LCD screen, he venomously wonders if there would be any way to prove that he is not Kira, despite killing the aforementioned Ryuuzaki in the current Headquarters of the Kira investigation, with the cameras rolling everywhere and Matsuda in the next room.
The LCD screen is garishly bright, burning Raito's sleep-weary eyes almost as much as the steady glare of the computer screen, and it displays in bold, curling black letters: New Text Message from The One Who Will Capture Kira
Beside the absurd, ridiculously obvious name is a little smiley face icon gluttonously eating some kind of chocolate-looking cake.
Raito immediately turns to glare at the crazy-haired bastard curled on another swivel chair before a glowing computer screen beside him. Eyes peering out darkly from beneath honey bangs so inelegantly askew across his forehead, Raito opens his mouth, but nothing emerges except for an uncharacteristic snarl, half-dubious-chocking, half-animalistic-growl.
He's caught between asking—screeching—why the hell Ryuuzaki's texting him in the first place, when the hell he put his number into Raito's phone because it certainly wasn't there previously, and how the hell Ryuuzaki got that ridiculous icon into Raito's phone because that sure as hell wasn't there prior.
Before Raito can decide on a question, however, Ryuuzaki idly turns, black-rimmed eyes large and innocent and thumb between his lips, and cheerfully asks, "Did Yagami-kun read my message yet?"
Raito twitches and keenly feels the painful oncoming of a migraine pounding steadily at his temples. Hoping to end the tedious, pointless conversation that occur merely to amuse Ryuuzaki's nonsensical whims before it even begins, Raito's abruptly snaps his mouth shut, forcefully clenches his teeth, and flips open the glossy silver cell phone.
The glaring luminescent screen reads: 73 percent certainty. Would Yagami-kun like some tea to keep himself awake?
Owari
End Notes: So what'd you think? Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome!
Ja ne!
– scelerus animus o.O