I'm Trying - Chapter 1
Wow. I'm baaaaaccckkk... and a lot sooner than even I expected to be but this one just started flowing yet again. This is the follow up to the recently-completed fanfic "I Tried". It is set when Jane returns to work after her leave from Frankie's death and her self-inflicted gunshot wound. Please, as always, read and review! I hope you like this one! Thanks! - rutgers
Disclaimer: : I don't own any of the characters from Rizzoli and Isles - the credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I'm merely borrowing them for a fan fiction idea.
Detective Jane Rizzoli stood at her kitchen counter, drinking a cup of coffee and staring at the badge and gun before her. It had been over a month since she had been on duty. The death of her brother and her own shooting had sidelined her and she found herself nervous about going back. She caught a glimpse of the clock on the stove - seven thirty-five. She gulped the last of her coffee and attached her gun and holster to her left hip and the badge to her right.
Jane gathered her keys, phone and wallet and headed toward the door, pausing to look at the photo of Frankie and her taken just a few years ago. The department had given her his regular-duty badge while he had been buried with the one that belonged on his formal uniform. The badge now leaned up against this photo. She made a note to get a better frame so the badge could be safely enclosed.
"I love you, Frankie, and I miss you. Today and every day at work won't ever be the same," she said, softly, kissing her right index and middle fingers and placing the kiss on Frankie's face in the photo. She took a deep breath and headed out.
Driving the short distance to work, she really hoped that there wasn't a huge fanfare made of her return. She wanted to arrive quietly and blend in and just get back to work - didn't want a whole big fuss made. She didn't want to be viewed as a hero - if she had truly been a hero, she would have been able to save Frankie. She wasn't able to and she still struggled with that - and the only person who truly knew how much she was struggling was Maura Isles.
Maura stood by her even after she was so cruel to her. Jane knew she'd never have a friend like Maura ever again - and that was okay. Maura was the only friend she really needed. She loved Frost and Korsak and was good friends with both of them, but it was different with Maura. She was the one person she could actually one-hundred percent be herself with - and that meant more to her than anything.
She parked the car and walked into the bullpen - dreading the chance she may find balloons and all that other kind of shit at her desk. She was relieved to walk in and find no one else in there - and grateful for the solitude. As she walked toward her desk, she saw an envelope and a wrapped pastry box from her favorite bakery in the city, Flour Bakery. Maura. She shook her head and smiled even as her stomach growled at the thought of the warm banana bread that lay in the confines of that white, neatly tied box.
She looked around, remembering when Frankie had come in and told her they arrested a witness from the warehouse. She remembered putting her gun in her drawer right in front of Marino . Her left hand automatically touched her sidearm, which Korsak had returned to her after the review board was finished with its investigation.
"Son of a bitch," she said aloud to herself.
It was hard to be here, this was the last place she saw Frankie alive and completely well, as they walked out quickly together when she went to interrogate the witness, thinking they were on their way to finding out who killed Danny. She slowly turned and looked all around the bullpen, finally her eyes landing on her desk again, and the envelope propped up against her keyboard. She automatically recognized the handwriting.
She was pulled out of thought by a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Korsak standing there.
"Good morning, Rizzoli," he said, handing her the usual cup of coffee. He started to walk to his desk but stopped, backtracked, put the other coffee he was holding down on the desk and warmly hugged her. "I know you aren't all into this sort of thing, but I've missed you, and I'm glad you're back," he whispered, his voice shaky. She hugged him. When they pulled apart, she could tell he had tears in his eyes.
"Come on Korsak, you're gonna get me started, come on," she said, her husky voice wrought with emotion.
"I'm sorry Jane. Welcome back," he said, wiping his eye quickly.
She smiled. "I appreciate it, Vince. And thank you for the coffee."
He smiled and moved on to his desk. Next, Frost came in, placing a cup of coffee on her desk.
"Welcome back, Jane. It's so good to see you back sitting across from me. I've missed you," he said, hugging her.
She hugged him too, her eyes still a bit teary from the warm reception from Korsak. "Thank you, Barry. Also, thank you for the coffee."
"Oh, you already have coffee?" Maura chimed, looking at Jane's desk and then looking down at the two cups in her hand.
Jane couldn't help but let out a throaty laugh. "Okay, so, was this your collective plan - to keep me off duty today by making sure I stay in the ladies' room all day pissing my brains out?"
All four of them laughed and Maura placed one cup of coffee on Jane's desk. Jane wrapped her in a hug.
"Thank you, Maura, for the coffee and the banana bread too. And, I haven't even read what's in the envelope yet. I'm kinda afraid to, in case it makes me cry," she said.
Maura returned her embrace. "Well, you may want to wait and read it at home then."
"Guys, really, thank you. I appreciate everything, I really do. It's going to take me a bit to get into the swing of things, but I will, I promise all of you."
"There was never any doubt, Rizzoli," Frost said.
...
Jane had spent most of her morning in meetings with her superiors welcoming her back and briefing her on certain issues, On her way back to her desk, Cavanaugh popped his head out of his office.
"Hey, Rizzoli, can you come in here for a few minutes?"
"Yes, sir."
She came in and sat down, her left leg twitching a bit - much like it did when she would be sitting in the principal's office at school, which was a bit too often for her parents' liking. Usually, Cavanaugh would perch on his desk while you sat in the chair to show you who exactly had authority, however, Jane noted this time, he took a seat in the chair directly next to her.
"It's good to see you back, Rizzoli. We've certainly missed you around here," he said.
She nodded. "Thank you, sir, I'm glad to be back."
"If you need anything, you can come to me - I'll help you whatever way I can. You're one hell of a great cop, Rizzoli, and the Boston Police Department is very lucky to count you as one of its own."
Wow. Cavanaugh didn't throw those types of compliments around very often. She smiled, her right thumb involuntarily circling the scar on her left hand. "Thank you. I really appreciate that."
"Okay, you can get out there," he said, gently patting her shoulder. She got up and he headed around to behind his desk "Oh, and Rizzoli?"
"Yeah," she said, spinning around in the doorway.
"Don't you ever pull a fuckin' stunt like that again. You scared the hell out of me."
She let out a small laugh. "I promise, Lieu. Thank you."
He smiled and nodded and she was on her way back to the desk.
"Oh, hey, Maura was up here looking for you. Asked that you head down to see her," Frost said, picking his head up from a mound of paperwork.
"Okay, thanks," she said, but thought better of it after a minute. "Did she say what she wanted?"
"Nope."
"I'll just give her a call."
...
"Isles," Maura answered, not even looking at the screen of her Blackberry.
"Hey, it's me. Frost told me you were looking for me, I just got out of a shitload of meetings. What's up?"
"Oh, I wanted to know if you wanted to go to lunch."
"I'd love to. Meet you outside in about ten minutes?"
"Okay."
Jane was grateful that was all it was and even more so that she didn't have to head down to the morgue.