AN: Hello people of the internet! I am new to fanfiction, but not new to writing. So... I am not sure what that means, so do with that what you will. Anyway, the story.
WAIT! DO NOT JUST SCROLL DOWN TO READ, DON'T YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?
I apologize for that. The basic premise of the story is that I am doing an asleep style self insert into thewhitepatch's Decruited. You only really need to know the basic premise of Asleep, but you have to have read Decruited. Go on, I will wait.
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You done?
Anyway, what you should expect, is the characterization from Decruited. (or at least most of them. No promises.) Where no real new character traits exist, I may add some. Oh yeah. Asleep style self insert with alternate and all that jazz. Some disclaimers:
I do not own the ideas from Asleep
Nor the ones from Decruited
I don't own Fire Emblem Either.
I do own myself though.
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Hopefully.
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Enjoy
Chapter 1
I am falling. I guess that is unexpected. I mean, I have no idea how I got here, but the whistling in my ears, and the dropping feeling in my gut says I am falling. This is interesting.
I wonder what happened.
...
How high up was I?
SPLASH! I heard, and bubbles were rushing past my ears. I swam up to the surface, and I looked around. All I saw was an unoccupied beach.
I recognized this. This is the opening scene from Asleep. The self insertion fanfic.
Oh god no.
Please don't be asleep.
Please don't be asleep.
Pleasedonotbeasleep.
Don't
Be
In
The
Fanfic
Asleep
I reached the shore and looked down at what I was wearing. I was wearing the traditional garb for a thief from Fire Emblem Awakening.
I AM in asleep.
Shit.
Maybe it isn't so bad. I mean IRL, my entire family was killed in a car crash, and I was going nowhere fast. If I fall in love, and my alternate is still alive, I am eviscerating myself. Seriously. I am not dealing with that bullshit.
...
Anyway.
Judging from Asleep, I should have a journal to contact my alternate. I take out a random leather bound journal that somehow survived the water. Huh. I will save that for later. I dont think I should worry about that. I should be heading for southtown. I think that is to the east I guess. I get ready for the long walk, and check my items. I appear to have an iron sword and a vulanary. If it tastes as bad as it smells, I should save it only for emergencies. I give my sword a few test swings. I probably have a fairly high skill and speed set. Expected, since I am apparently a thief.
This is going to be a pretty long walk isn't it.
Might as well see about that alternate.
Log 1:
I know what you are my alternate, but who are you? What can you do? What are you planning?
Noah
I close my logbook, and climbed the last hill, and saw it: The Southtown. I grinned, and walked towards it.
Turns out, when I saw it, it was actually still about an hour out. When I finally reached the town, it was light out. I knocked on the inn door, and a squat bearded man answered the door.
"Can I get a meal?" I asked as I looked for some gold on my person.
"One gold piece to break your fast with us." He said as I found one in a gold pouch I should probably count out later. I gave him the gold piece, and entered the Inn.
The generic maiden brought out a breakfast of biscuits and sausage. I scarf it down, considering purchasing seconds when a knock came at the door, and a bunch of burly men were there. They pushed by the innkeeper, and entered the room.
Oh. I could neeeever guess who these assholes are.
Seriously?
"Bwahahaha, get to it lads. Grab anything shiny, an' put the rest to the torch. We gots an example to set for these Ylissean types!" He snarled, then grinned as he drew his knife and looked at the generic maiden. "Aint that right lass?"
"Help!" She screamed as the man began to chase her around the room.
I can't stand guys who try this shit.
So I did something stupid. I drew my sword.
Garrick looked at me without concern, and laughed. He didn't even draw his axe. He was too busy chasing the maiden with his dagger
He gestured at his three men and said: "Kill him."
The first myrmidon approached me, and I spun to the outside of his thrust. I then slammed the pommel into his thrusting arm. He dropped his sword, and I decapitated him. The other Myrmidon hesitated, and I slammed his head with my blade. Blood and brain matter flew everywhere.
Geez, if I am this good, I would hate to see my... AHHHH PAINPAINPAINPAIN!
The mage fired wind at me. There must be a huge slash across my chest. I must look like Zagat. I was knocked on my ass. I could hear Garrick laughing.
There shouldn't be this much pain Right?
No time for that, and no time for internal monologue either. It is time for action. I got to my feet, and saw the wind coming at me. I jumped over the slash of wind, and gave him a slash to the face Chrom style.
Did I just do that? I think that when my alternate shows up, I may be screwed.
Garrick finally caught the maiden. He held the knife to her throat.
"Put down the sword, or she dies."
I could tell that he was serious. I looked at him sourness hopefully apparent, and I set down my sword. He laughed maniacally, and shoved the girl into me.
"You can die together!" He crowed as he swung his axe at our necks.
He was then hit by a lightning ball to the back of the head.
As he fell, I saw Robin.
"See Chrom?" He called behind him. "I told you that he was in here! I think I must have been a master tactician in a former life!" He said cheerfully.
That doesn't sound like Asleep Robin.
That sounds like Decruited Robin.
That is a huge relief.
Wait.
If this is asleep, why would I end up in Decruited?
I remember, there was that one chapter where he did a self insert, but that doesn't explain why I am here. I am not really complaining. Now I can see the funny happen right before my eyes.
"We have brigands, and unruly neighbors looking to bloody our soil. Would you really have us lose such an able tactician? Besides, I believe his story, odd as it may be." Chrom stated.
"Yeah Frederick, seriously, get that stick out of your ass." Robin said laughing.
I take this moment to chug a vulanary to hide my laughter, and heal my wounds.
Yup. That has to be Decruited Robin. And why is Chrom walking up to me?
"Hail traveler!" He said. "Did you kill these three brigands?" He asked, gesturing at the two myrmidons, and the mage. This must be my recruitment event. Interesting.
"Yes sir."
"Call me Chrom." He said smiling.
"Yes, Chrom."
"You seem to be able to handle yourself in a fight." He observed. "And we need more Shepherds. You in?"
"Sure, I am in, but don't you want to know anything about me?"
"No need." He claimed. "My sister Emmeryn is teaching me to trust people more." He said, almost in a trance like state.
"My lord, this man is a thief." Fredrick said, considering my garb.
"And we can use one of his skills." Chrom argued.
"I am just saying that we should exercise caution my lord."
"Duly noted." Chrom said. "So, you guys in?"
"I would be honored." Robin said.
I echoed that sentiment. Frederick just glared at me.
The innkeeper then broke the tension by saying:
"Milord! Please! You must stay the night. We are simple folk of simple means, but we would gladly toast your valor with a feast."
"A most grand offer sir." Frederick said without taking his eyes off of me. "and no doubt your hospitality would be grand… But I am afraid we must hurry back to Ylisstol."
"Dark Meat for… wait, we aren't staying?" Lissa whined.
"We will be camping out in the wilderness. You do want to get home right?" Frederick stated.
"Fuck you Frederick." Was all that she said.
If this WAS Decruited, then that wish would come true.
"Alright you guys, the capitol is not far, lets head out." Chrom said.
As we walked away, the log book appeared in my hand. I opened it, and it said:
As if I would tell you.
Jean
My alternate had a name, and it was not being helpful AT ALL. Fuck him.
Lissa walked up to me and started a conversation with me.
"What exactly did you do in this last fight?" She asked.
I told her the truth... sort of. When I told her everything, there were six myrmidons, and two mages. I didn't really mean to do this, but whenever girls are involved, I stretch the truth just a little bit. I certainly am not as bad as Inigo or Virion, but I can be a flirt when it suits me. After I finished, Lissa looked at me starry eyed.
"Wow." She said with awe. "Can I walk with you?" She really is an anime character. Actually, come to think of it, they all are. Her especially though. Her eyes were wide, and her face looks...cutesy. A lot of shepherds were gorgeous, I have to admit, but Lissa was not beautiful, she was cute. I MAINTAIN THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. She really was enjoying marching with me. As she was walking, her pigtails would bounce with her gait. I saw Robin look at me, and shake his head. I got the message. Our pairing would not be tactically sound. Good. I would not be able to survive that. She is a prank machine, and I was not good with taking practical jokes.
While we were walking, Frederick rode his horse in front of me and said:
"I have no idea what you want with M'lord and M'lady Thief, but if you try to hurt them in any way, I will kill you." He then rode away."Come on Lissa. Do not associate with this rabble." She shrugged at me, then hurried after him.
Dick.
AN: Wow. That was cool to write. Anyway, if thewhitepatch or Gone2Ground referred you here, I want to thank you for reading this crazy, UNORIGINAL fan fiction. I probably will be updating about once a week, if you are interested and still here anyway. I am not sure if people read these. Maybe I will put a short parody here…
Cuz I've just created a monster
Cuz nobody wants to hear Noah no more
Just the fanfic, I'm chopped liver.
If they want the fanfiction this is what I'll give em.
A little bit of me mixed in with some Fire Emblem…
Nevermind. That was a bad idea. I wont be doing that again.
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See you next week! Be sure to R and R!