The war was over, at least the ceasefire was announced, but the hospital was still in full operation.
There were no more nightly convoys. The care for the injured man was different now, quieter and with less voltage. The yearn for the end of the war was over, and although everyone was happy that the end was there, the atmosphere in the hospital was cheerful but just not exuberant. There was a quiet melancholy that was well suited to the short, dark December days before Christmas.
However, during these days, the rumor spread that over a few weeks the hospital would be removed and demolished. Probably everyone could in the new year go back to England. Back to the old life, away from the horrors of war and the lack of comfort. That message caused much commotion among the staff.
Meanwhile, Kitty was deeply troubled. What would she do when the hospital was closed? Where could she go? Back to London? And then what? There was nothing left for her in London, no one was waiting for her. The only thing for her there was probably grief and humiliation. She had never heard anything from her family and knew nothing of the development and the life of her daughter Sylvie.
How should Kitty make a living when she would be in England again? She had almost no money and her family would not support her, Kitty would not accept any help from them anyway. Where could she find decent work and who could help her with her livelihood?
But the most important, most burning question was this: where was Thomas?
Thomas had last year got promoted and worked since then in a Casuelty Clearing Station. He wrote letters to her, which she received from Miles. His letters were irregular and sometimes with long intervals, but Kitty received mostly at least one letter a month. And now Kitty had received no more letters since September and nothing has been heard of Thomas. Also Miles had heard nothing from or about Thomas.
Miles had tried to make his usual indestructible optimism to put up her confidence. But weeks and months skewed and Kitty became increasingly concerned. Thoughts that she really could not stand about Thomas, perhaps he would never come back to her, crossed her mind more and more often. And in the eyes of Miles saw Kitty the same increasing concern when Thomas was mentioned.
His name was not (yet) on the lists Red Cross spread, the lists of the men who were killed, but Kitty knew enough of this war to realize that not every dead man was identified or even found.
And as time progressed, her worries and fears took ever greater proportions. Perhaps there was a bomb cases on the place where he worked? What if Thomas was struck and felled by a bullet? What if he'd never come back? What if she'd never know where he was or what had happened to him? These thoughts kept her from her sleep and her sleepless nights were long and lonely and when the sleep eventually came, she was haunted by her old nightmares in a new and horrific form.
One night she woke up screaming from a lively terrifying nightmare in which Thomas lay dead in the mud and Elliot stood there laughing like a devil beside. While the face of Thomas faded, Elliot looked with his cold eyes to Kitty and hissed to her that this was exactly what she deserved. And while she woke up screaming, Kitty still heard the diabolical laughter of Elliot in her ears.
She decided to brave the cold night. Nothing could be worse than that terrible fear that now snuggled into her chest.
Once outside Kitty became calmer. She walked to the middle of the camp, where under a shed were some chairs. Luckily there was no one else there and so Kitty sat down and lit a cigarette. After a while the pounding of her heart took off and she became calmer. It was quiet and dark now thundering artillery firing had stopped.
In the peaceful silence Kitty lets her mind go blank. Until she was startled by approaching footsteps. Because of the dark, it was hard to see who was approaching and Kitty actually had absolutely no need for companionship. So she ducked, but in vain, the footsteps came closer and someone sat in the chair beside her.