Everybody's got their demons.

Even wide awake or dreaming.

I'm the one who ends up leaving.

Make it okay.

Emmet found himself in the pub again. His life had changed so much in the span of six months and he found himself constantly turning to the only thing he could think of to take the feelings away: alcohol. He announced his departure from Celtic Thunder a little over six months ago and George's funeral was nearly two months ago, but he could feel nothing. All he could see was darkness and all he could feel was nothing.

He really didn't want to let his fans down but at the same time he really couldn't find it in him to continue with the touring life. Sharon had given him special permission to tour. Maybe being around the guys is something he needs right now.

"Wow you look like hell, Cahill," came a familiar voice from somewhere behind him. He didn't need to turn around to know he'd come face to face with those bright blue eyes he'd grown so used to seeing every day. He did anyway. Those blue eyes seemed older than they did the last time he'd seen them. They seemed duller.

"I could say the same for you, Keegan." His response was met with a sad, humorless smile.

"I guess we've all been dealing with a lot lately," Colm replied as he sat down on a barstool next to Emmet.

'At least you can feel something,' the thought came before he could stop it and the words burned on his tongue and clogged up his throat, but he swallowed them back down. 'Not now. He doesn't need to deal with the extra stuff now,' Emmet thought to himself as he took another swig of the cold beer sitting in front of him.

"So how've you been getting on?" Colm asked after ordering his own drink. "You okay? We've all been worried about you."

Where could he even begin? Nothing is right? I can't seem to feel anything other than sadness? I don't know if I want to tour anymore, but I miss our fans? He settled for a sad smile and a simple, "I'm alright. Just really tired and really shocked by everything." Colm nodded sympathetically.

"We all feel it, Em. I know George meant a lot to you. I know you two were really close." Emmet could feel the tears welling up in his eyes so he quickly changed the subject.

"How're you getting on though? How's Laura been?"

"She's been alright. She's excited for the tours coming up. Are ya planning on coming out for one of our shows? It'd be the three of us just like old times."

'Only it won't be will it? I'll be the odd one out.' Once again, Emmet shook the thoughts from his mind. This time he went for a, "Yeah I'll definitely try to make it out there for a show or two. Gotta support my old buddy, don't I?" He even attempted a smile this time.

"I knew ya couldn't resist!" Colm said with a smile. Emmet returned it, but it didn't reach his eyes. Not this time.

Eventually, Emmet knocked back the last of his beer and checked the time and saw that he and Colm had been talking for about an hour. He actually knew how long they'd been talking because he'd been exhausted since Colm showed up, but it would have been rude to leave as soon as the man got there.

"Colm, buddy, it's been great catchin' up with ye, but I gotta head home and help my mom with some stuff around the house y'know?"

"Oh yeah! Definitely! See ya in a few weeks," Colm said, standing up and leaning in to hug Emmet. "And Emmet," he said, pulling back and looking his friend in the eyes, "if you need anything please don't hesitate to call us okay?" Emmet nodded.

"Thanks, Colm. I will. See ya in a few weeks." Emmet left and Colm sat back down for another pint or two.

Emmet didn't want to go home. He didn't want to go anywhere. He didn't want to do anything. Putting on a brave face was something he just couldn't do anymore, he needed to be alone. Emmet sat in his car for a few minutes trying to figure out where to go.

Life had been a nightmare for him recently, so he decided to go see her. The only thing that could keep the nightmares at bay for at least a little while. If he couldn't drown himself in alcohol, he'd drown himself in her. But only for tonight. Always just a night.

He decided to pay a visit to her despite the fact that he knew he'd be gone before the sun rose in the morning. The pain he felt leaving each morning was better than the perpetual numbness he felt day in and day out. At least with her he could feel something.