Chapter 1

In the years following Luigi's sudden arrival in the land of all things mushroom, it had not ceased to amaze him how the transport pipes that connected the many worlds of the kingdom were a few dings away from catastrophic failure.

"Was there ever a point in your life when you were something other than the party killing, fun crushing worrywart that you are today?" asked an almost disgusted Princess Peach when Luigi confronted her with his troubles.

Almost on cue, the network of pipes between old worlds three through six collapsed, leaving a good fifty individuals squished into unrecognition. Luigi was immediately promoted to head of pipe maintenance, and had been happily performing his duties no matter how thankless they proved to be. The fact that absolutely no impact was made on life as the kingdom knew it was sign enough to Luigi that he was doing everything right.

It was a rather chilly morning when some minor calamity happened and Mario quite literally flew away towards yet another adventure. Fully awake from the fiasco, Luigi grabbed his large tool bag and left his house after nearly forgetting to put on his cap. He set a course towards the nearby Peach Castle, which had just celebrated its second year without an attack from any malicious entity, and was greeted by the toad guarding the drawbridge.

"Great morning, Luigi!" shouted the far too chipper guard. "I thought you had ran after your brother."

Luigi shook his head. "Why would I do that?"

"Isn't that what you always do? Run after Mario yelling 'HEY! WAIT FOR ME!' before falling on your face because you're a klutz?"

Luigi opened his mouth to speak, but decided against legitimizing that question with a response. He simply rolled his eyes and proceeded across the drawbridge.

"I meant that in the nicest possible way!" squeaked the toad trying to save face.

The supposed loveable klutz entered the castle and was treated to little fanfare from those in it. The castle staff who did talk to him had Mario-related questions that Luigi couldn't possibly answer. Not even the princess, who baked bland cakes for his brother on the regular, could be bothered to give the mixing bowl a glance when Luigi visited on his own. The tepid reaction to his presence continued on until Luigi reached a lone access pipe behind an unmarked door on the far east side of the castle. Before he could close the door behind him, he noticed a young toad gawking from a few steps away.

"Mister Luigi?" asked the toad, softly.

Luigi looked at the kid and smiled. "What do you need, pal?"

"I went down there a few days ago. It was SCARY."

Luigi chuckled. "How far in did you get?"

The youth lowered his head. "I…was only there for maybe a minute, but it was a TERRIFYING minute! Good luck, green bro!"

"Thanks," replied Luigi, who didn't want to admit to the kid that he couldn't remember his name.

The eastern access pipe didn't have the suction of the majority of the transports in the Mushroom Kingdom, which forced Luigi to use an enclosed ladder to descend into the vast cavern below the castle. The cavern was a bit on the dark side, but it was nothing that should have scared a child into bailing out on youthful exploration after a scant amount of time. To Luigi, the most frightening aspect of the location was the large, unwieldy scaffolding that allowed him to access the six pipes swooping down from the castle's various rooms. He hadn't seen a wreck of a structure like that since the days of his brother chasing gorillas up the side of buildings, but it was either take a risk or risk lives.

Luigi walked past the rickety construct to a moderately sized lantern that was sitting on the ground. With a match, he lit the lantern and revealed that it had been placed at the edge of a fall to certain death. As a number of pipes traversed over the obviously not-bottomless pit, the light served as an indicator of the amount of caution that needed to be exercised. Luigi then returned to the entry point of the scaffolding and offered a little prayer to whatever was up there looking down at him.

"Okay, my friend. Don't end my game prematurely," said Luigi to the structure itself just in case the prayer fell on deaf ears.

The scaffolding groaned and shuttered the second that Luigi set foot on it. He slowly navigated the barely supported boards to the pipes that were above solid ground. Luigi ran a series of diagnostics and concluded that all was fine on the safer end of the cavern. Naturally, the first thing that he saw upon first glance of the deadlier side was a crack in one of the pipes. Luigi sighed, made his way over to the stretch of scaffolding above the pit, and was surprised to feel air jetting out of the pipe.

"Princess isn't going to be too happy about this," said Luigi aloud to himself.

As Luigi followed the length of the crack, the scaffolding snapped, popped, and wheezed. His verdict, mostly made to get him out of that precarious position, was that the entire pipe needed to be replaced. Before he could carefully step towards safety Luigi felt a change in the air that had been escaping the crack. He then heard the familiar gurgling of the transport pipe being entered and carefully crouched while protecting the back of his head. Instead of an individual whizzing by on a cushion of air, there was the clanking of heavy things that were tossed into the pipe. After a few seconds, what sounded like an entire kitchen worth of appliances was sent down from above. Following a loud shriek, the pipe violently trembled and Luigi knew exactly what was happening: The transport pipe was starting to become clogged.

Luigi abandoned his protective crouch and tried desperately to leave the platform. He made three heavy steps before a portion of the wooden plank snapped under his weight and caused him to fall on his face. His tool bag, one of the last hold outs from his New York days, was the first victim of the gaping maw below. Luigi scrambled to his feet as the entire scaffolding swayed wildly. After numerous failed attempts to steady himself enough to move, he was launched off the platform by the force of rupturing metal tubing. As Luigi fell into the darkness, his only complaint was how he wasn't knocked out before it happened. All he could do at that point was close his eyes, hold his breath and accept his fate, which took the form of a surprisingly warm pool of water at the bottom of the chasm.

Luigi surfaced and tried to get his bearings. Though he was quite obviously alive, the darkness was so oppressive that he wasn't entirely sure of which way to go. Before panic set in, Luigi's eyes focused on a flickering light in the distance.

"There we are," said a relieved Luigi to no one in particular.

He swam towards the light and noticed that its source was a lantern that was sitting on the earth near the water's edge. The lantern barely illuminated a transport pipe that Luigi had no clue existed so deep under the castle. After surmising that his surroundings were part of a long defunct well, Luigi climbed into the pipe and let the air current take him to its unknown destination.

"How long was this supposed to take again?"

"A few hours. He is coming from central Mushroom Kingdom."

"You sure our man on the inside didn't up and kill him trying to spring him out of there?"

"The plan was meticulously crafted."

"Well, I'm just saying that-"

"Shh! You hear that?"

"It's the warp! Remind me of what I'm supposed to say."

"Greetings, Luigi. Welcome to the first day of your new life."