"Oh, okay, wait a minute. Are you gonna say 'I love you'?"
She has no idea how much I want to say that; how much I want to pull her into my arms and never let her go; how much I want to stay by her side forever.
But I can't. I can't make the same mistake the Director made.
I'm lucky she can't see my face right now. I feel my eyes misting over.
"...No, Tex, no," I begin, trying to keep my voice strong and clear. "I'm not gonna say 'I love you'."
My heart begins to ache. It takes all my self-restraint to not turn and look at her one last time.
"...I'm gonna say 'I forget you'."
I forget every kiss, every touch, every shared night, every stupid argument, every heartfelt conversation.
"I forget you. I'm letting you go."
I let go of all the memories, all my hopes for the future; the thought of finally growing a pair and proposing, the visions of her in a stunning white dress, of a big ceremony with all of our old comrades, of starting a crazy, dysfunctional, perfect family.
Those are all selfish notions, anyway.
Allison deserves better.
I glance to my side and, sure enough, she's gone.
I'm overwhelmed by emptiness and numbness. But at the same time, I'm flooded by a sense of peace; an agonizing, silent peace, but peace nonetheless.
I tilt my head skyward, ignoring the rumbling of the earth below me. A salty tear passes over my lips, which curl into a small smirk.
"Okay, world. Do your fucking worst. I sure as hell adjusted mine."