The Rivendell files: Fuzz and Hobo undercover
Chapter 1: The fattening ears
It was about two thirty in the morning, give or take a few minutes, when Fuzz woke up Hobo, and blisteringly cold. "You know. We probably should have brought a jacket to the Misty Mountains. You know with the blizzards and all.." Fuzz said to Hobo his companion. Hobo turned over and stared at his fellow undercover journalist. "Did you remember the synthetic pointy ears?" he groaned. "Of course I did! What sort of fool do you take me for?!?!?! Oh well. But you better start treating me nicer. Once we're elves we are gonna have to be nice to each other!" Retorted Fuzz.. Hobo desperately tried to get up, without much success. Oh man oh man did he hate his job. They sent him, along with Fuzz, to the remotest places in the world. And now they wanted them to do a whole series of articles entitled "Elves: Behind the ears." First of all, they had to get into Rivendell, which was tough considering the very high security. Plus, they had to go undercover: as elves. They needed fool proof plans. Hopefully the little plastic ears would work.. they were the cheapest ones the store had! Two for $.25. Fuzz groaned and slowly got herself up and waddled over and picked up Hobo. She began pushing threw the storm. They were almost at then end of the mountains. Just another mile at the most. Why the hell we stayed the night in the Misty Mountains in January is beyond me, Hobo thought. He didn't even have flannel pajamas. Come to think of it, they didn't even have sleeping bags! Finally the frost bitten companions made to the path and collapsed upon the dirt. "Eureka! It never felt this good to be lying in a puddle of mud!" Fuzz exclaimed. "I think it's time to get out the ears." Hobo said, rolling his eyes. He began to dig into the monstrous duffel bag Fuzz had been carrying. He removed four plastic triangle. He slipped two apon his ears and tossed the others to Fuzz. Fuzz put them on and looked at himself in the mud puddle. "Do these make me look fat?" she asked Hobo who just groaned and began to walk on. "What! I need an answer! No one likes a fat elf!" Hobo turned around. "No," he yelled, "they don't make you look fat. However, it does look like we are wearing halves of wheat thins on our ears." "But wheat thins are sooooo fatty! Are they the reduced fat ones? I'm ok with those!" Fuzz squawked. "Let me check out our situation." Hobo said. He reached for his ear and pulled the faux one off. Bringing it to his mouth, he took a bite out of it. "Looks like they actually are halves of wheat thins." Hobo concluded. "Come to think of it, we don't have anything else to eat." "We could always say we are elves with birth defects!" Fuzz said pulling her ears off and sniffing them to see if they really were edible. "Yeah, and also elves who were short, overweight and with weak immune systems." Hobo said sarcastically. "I knew the ears made me look fat! DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!" Fuzz screamed and ran off. "Suit yourself." Hobo shrugged. He walked over and began to eat the wheat thins Fuzz had left on the ground. He also ate his own. He then picked up the duffle bag and began to follow Fuzz. Conveniently they were heading in the direct path of Rivendell. " What are the odds" Hobo murmured. And with that set after his crying friend.
Chapter 1: The fattening ears
It was about two thirty in the morning, give or take a few minutes, when Fuzz woke up Hobo, and blisteringly cold. "You know. We probably should have brought a jacket to the Misty Mountains. You know with the blizzards and all.." Fuzz said to Hobo his companion. Hobo turned over and stared at his fellow undercover journalist. "Did you remember the synthetic pointy ears?" he groaned. "Of course I did! What sort of fool do you take me for?!?!?! Oh well. But you better start treating me nicer. Once we're elves we are gonna have to be nice to each other!" Retorted Fuzz.. Hobo desperately tried to get up, without much success. Oh man oh man did he hate his job. They sent him, along with Fuzz, to the remotest places in the world. And now they wanted them to do a whole series of articles entitled "Elves: Behind the ears." First of all, they had to get into Rivendell, which was tough considering the very high security. Plus, they had to go undercover: as elves. They needed fool proof plans. Hopefully the little plastic ears would work.. they were the cheapest ones the store had! Two for $.25. Fuzz groaned and slowly got herself up and waddled over and picked up Hobo. She began pushing threw the storm. They were almost at then end of the mountains. Just another mile at the most. Why the hell we stayed the night in the Misty Mountains in January is beyond me, Hobo thought. He didn't even have flannel pajamas. Come to think of it, they didn't even have sleeping bags! Finally the frost bitten companions made to the path and collapsed upon the dirt. "Eureka! It never felt this good to be lying in a puddle of mud!" Fuzz exclaimed. "I think it's time to get out the ears." Hobo said, rolling his eyes. He began to dig into the monstrous duffel bag Fuzz had been carrying. He removed four plastic triangle. He slipped two apon his ears and tossed the others to Fuzz. Fuzz put them on and looked at himself in the mud puddle. "Do these make me look fat?" she asked Hobo who just groaned and began to walk on. "What! I need an answer! No one likes a fat elf!" Hobo turned around. "No," he yelled, "they don't make you look fat. However, it does look like we are wearing halves of wheat thins on our ears." "But wheat thins are sooooo fatty! Are they the reduced fat ones? I'm ok with those!" Fuzz squawked. "Let me check out our situation." Hobo said. He reached for his ear and pulled the faux one off. Bringing it to his mouth, he took a bite out of it. "Looks like they actually are halves of wheat thins." Hobo concluded. "Come to think of it, we don't have anything else to eat." "We could always say we are elves with birth defects!" Fuzz said pulling her ears off and sniffing them to see if they really were edible. "Yeah, and also elves who were short, overweight and with weak immune systems." Hobo said sarcastically. "I knew the ears made me look fat! DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!" Fuzz screamed and ran off. "Suit yourself." Hobo shrugged. He walked over and began to eat the wheat thins Fuzz had left on the ground. He also ate his own. He then picked up the duffle bag and began to follow Fuzz. Conveniently they were heading in the direct path of Rivendell. " What are the odds" Hobo murmured. And with that set after his crying friend.