Some things in life I just haven't figured out yet. Why are we here? Why is the sky blue, yet space is so black? Why are we attracted to some people, yet some we could care less for? If only there was a way to open a book and have all the answer right in front of your eyes. Running your fingers across the pages, the pressure and friction forcing the letters to appear. Or maybe it would be the sensation of heat that burns the letters into the page, only to disappear as they cool.
Except there isn't such a book. A mystical guide to the universe. The galaxy a never-ending void of stars filled with silence. To be up there, let go and just accept that everything that happens might just be for no reason at all. An enigma. The perfect way to describe everything that happens in my life.
"Namaste" I whisper as I place my forehead gently to the ground. I stay there for a moment before rising gracefully to my feet. I turn toward the door headed for the bathroom, reminding myself to clean my yoga mat after my shower. I only need to turn the hot handle, as the water barely reaches a lukewarm temperature. The pipes in my building still haven't been fixed, and sometimes I wonder if it's just my shower that hates me. I used to take such hot showers that I'd come out as red as a lobster, even considering my olive skin tone.
I pick up my bar of soap, gently cleaning my tattoos, then aggressively scrubbing my untouched skin. I only had 5; one on each thigh, on each side of my collar bone, and one on my shoulder blade. I shut the water off, feeling it go cold. I wipe the mirror off as I grab my towel from the door handle and stare at my face for a moment. What made my parents feel the need to reproduce, yet some people don't?
They created my brown eyes, curly hair, wide hips and small chest, yet what made that initial spark to turn me, into me? Turning away from the mirror I finished drying off, hung up my towel, then stepped out of the bathroom. I look around my bohemian style living room decorated with pinks, greens and baby blues.
"Hmm…I should have gone with white." I mumble to myself.
Everything has pillows and throw blankets decorating them, from the couch to the floor pillows, even to the sheep skin rug. Looking at it reminds me to get it dry cleaned. I turn away, headed for the bedroom. Stepping up onto the bed, I turn and lazily fall onto my back, causing pillows to fly everywhere. My short hair starts to soak the pillows, but I find I couldn't care less.
Closing my eyes, I breathe deeply. I bring my knees up, feet sliding against the blankets. I lay there for a moment longer before forcing myself to get up. Heading to the closet, I pull on a pair of black panties and leggings, and my favorite white lace-trimmed shirt. I don't bother wearing a bra.
As I walk back into the living room, I go and fold up my yoga mat. I run my fingers through my hair, forcing it to fall to the left side of my face, the ends grazing my cheekbones. I brush my teeth in the bathroom, throw on a pair of white wedges, my black biker jacket and grab the sheep skin rug in one arm, with my purse in the other.
Open the door, step out, close the door, lock the door. There's a sharp click as the lock slides into place. I stomp my way down 3 flights of stairs, and then around the building to my car. I throw the rug in the trunk, then get into the driver's seat. It takes a few tries to get my car started, and when it revs to life I pull out of the apartments and into traffic toward the drycleaners.
Where I live isn't a small town, yet it's not a big city either. To me it's perfect. You can get to know people, but everyone in town doesn't have to know what you had for lunch. My stomach growls telling me I need to eat. As I pull up to a light I look to my right. The man driving looks a little older than me, possibly 25 if I had to guess. He's attractive in my opinion. He has an angled jaw, green eyes as far as I can tell, and his hair is cut to give him a sharper profile. I start to wonder if he's single.
Is he going somewhere or headed home? Maybe he has a wife and kids, and a dog who loves to play fetch, and they go out every Saturday to spend family time in either rain or shine. Or maybe he's divorced and his wife is a bitch, and took the kids and the dog. He only gets his kids on holidays so he needs to choose which ones are more important. Maybe he's thinking about them right now? Or maybe he's thinking the same thing about me. Is that even possible?
There's a honk behind me and I realize the man beside me is gone. The light is green. I drive for a while longer, then pull up to my destination, grabbing the rug from the trunk before walking inside.
"Hi, how can I help you". The lady behind the counter says.
"I'm just dropping off my rug". I reply, trying to sound polite.
"ok. Here's your ticket number. Place the rug on the counter and you can come pick it up in a few hours". She replies curtly. "Do I need to leave you my number so you can call me?" I ask quickly, not wanting to be there anymore than she currently did. She looked me in the eyes, and I felt like I almost wanted to just turn and leave. Is she having a bad day, or just a bad life?
"sure. Why not." She all but growled at me. I wrote my number on a piece of paper, quickly handed it to her, then turned and left the store. I slowed my walk and stopped in front of my car door. Task 1: drycleaners. Check. Task 2: Nothing. I guess I had nothing else to do today. I unlocked my car door and got in. I took in my surroundings, brainstorming on what I could do to spend the rest of my day.
I took in the spring colors of the trees around me, my mind taking me to another place. What I needed was to be surrounded by trees, fresh nature air, and a good stream or two. Reconnect with mother nature. To feel my toes in the earth, the grit of dirt and underbrush. It would give me a reason to get my shoes off. As I started my car, my stomach rumbled again, so I stopped at a small sandwich shop, buying one to eat on the way, and another to enjoy later. I was planning to be gone for a long while.
I took in a deep breath as I stepped out of my car. The forest was always beautiful no matter the season. It had been too long since I'd had time to enjoy nature. My job was more demanding during the winter months, so I hadn't gotten the opportunity to get out and enjoy a good day Earthing. Walking around my car, I placed my purse and wedges in the trunk, tucked my ID card into my back pocket, you can never be too careful, and wrapped my lanyard around my neck.
The locks shot down as I pressed a button on my keys, acting like a gunshot before a 100-meter dash, and suddenly I was sprinting through the forest, my feet diffing into the ground.