Me: My 2nd story! YAY!

Sam: And I'm back too!

Quilosileidi: And I'm here!

Me: YAY!

Percy Jackson: Where the Hades am I?

Me, Sam and Quilosileidi: YAY!

Sam: Percy do the disclaimer! YAY!

Percy: Annabeth come get me! I am at…..

Me, Sam and Quilosileidi: *glare of death*

Percy: …Um never mind

Disclaimer: She doesn't own anything, save me Poseidon!

Me, Sam and Quilosileidi: That won't work 'cause we're friends with Zeus! YAY!

Twilight Spoof

Preface:

I had always thought about how I would die, I wanted to drown in chocolate or have a terrible fridge accident. But dying for someone I'd only known for a few months seemed like a crappy way to go.

Chapter 1:

I had just got off the plane and had landed in Spoons, or was it Knives I can never remember. Maybe it was Sporks.

I was getting into the car with my dad who had a moustache, which was totally obviously fake. You could see the glue. We had just seen a big sign that said 'WELCOME TO FORKS!' Ah see I was close with Knives. Anyway we got home and I saw this disgusting red truck that suited my personality completely.

'Is this for me?' I screamed. Charlie mumbled something that kinda sounded like yes. I screamed and the neighbour's cat ran away. I had to buy a new one for them.

Chapter 2:

I had driven to school and I had gotten lost 4 times. I walked into the school building and screamed 'I HATE FORKS!'. As you can tell I was trying to not attract attention. A blond kid came up to me.

'Hi, you must be Isabella Swan, I love you! I'm Mike Newton, I love you.'

'Well I don't love you! I love the weird anti-social camper in my biology class even though I haven't met him yet!'I replied

'Okay, I love you!'

Chapter 3:

I went to biology class and sat on my own! Suddenly a pale white thing in a cape with blood on his teeth came into the class.

'Sorry I'm late I was…..'I watched him stare at the girl across the room with bite marks in her neck. 'Busy. Yeah busy'

I THINK I LOVE HIM! I have always had a thing for abnormally ugly people with bad hair. This just proved the theory. He sat next to me and sniffed. I loved it he could SMELL me. He leaned away and passed me something across the desk. Soap!

'Thanks nobody's given me this in years!'

'I know…. I've been watching you while you were in the shower.'

Oh, that's sooooooo romantic. I am really in love with him. I swear he mumbled 'I vant to suck your blud. You smell like… my cat Pricilla… she died in 1910. I miss her every day.'

I stared at him. We had begun to connect on a really emotional level now. WE would soon be married. 'By the way, I sparkle in the sun. I am gay but I pretend I'm not.' I was hooked by his really bad fake American accent.

'Are you Superman?'I asked him in awe.

'No.'

'A werewolf?'

'What the heck Bella? A werewolf, are you out of your mind? They SUCK!' He is so ugly, I love him.

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