She walked down the busy halls, not paying attention to the obvious looks of pity. She didn't need it, she didn't need anything. Her face emotionless as the crowd parted like the red sea, like it always used to but now it was for a different reason.
She hadn't been at school for almost three weeks and she had taken back her look of indifference to the world. Her friends didn't talk to her because they also were angry with the world. Not as much as she was though.
Stopping at her locker, she glanced at the locker three down from her. It was decorated with roses and had cards plastered all over it. There was a picture in the middle, a short brunette with the most amazing smile and warmest brown eyes she had ever seen gazing up at herself. Her arm draped over the smaller girl, eyes closed, her short blonde hair framing her face messily, smiling goofily with her forehead pressed to the smaller girl's temple. They looked so happy.
She remembered that photo being taken, it was the day after they had won nationals and they were celebrating at Lima Bean. Everyone had been there and everyone had insisted that the couple be photographed because they were apparently too adorable to not be photographed.
"Quinn! Seriously! Just smile and stop making funny faces. I want to show this photo to everyone we know." Rachel whined looking up at her. All she did was smile and put her forehead to the divas temple whilst closing her eyes. A flash had made them giggle as they knew their photo had just been taken.
"How does it look?" Rachel asked, not looking away from the glowing blonde.
"This is amazing." Kurt smiled, looking at the love struck couple. This picture would last a lifetime.
She felt her chest tighten, her mouth went dry and her throat clenched. She quickly looked away from the decorated locker and tried to control the sobs that were trying to overtake her.
Focusing on putting in her combination into the lock to her locker, she retrieved the books she would need for her next class. Turning to close her locker door, she paused and looked over the inside of it. She started to shake. It had been decorated by Rachel. It was covered in stickers of NYU and New York pictures but the one that stood out was a picture of one of their first dates. There stood her and Rachel, herself doing a silly face and Rachel looking as beautiful as ever.
"Okay. Quinn. Move closer to Rachel. Smile. Oh that's a good one!" Rachel's dad, Hiram Berry, laughed holding out the camera to show the couple.
"Quinn!" Rachel giggled as she looked the photo over. Quinn had her eyes crossed and her tongue poking out at Rachel and Rachel was smiling happily at the camera.
"Do you want to take another one?" She asked the brunette, smiling as she shook her head.
"Nope, I love it." Rachel whispered, getting onto her tiptoes and placing a gentle kiss on the blonde's lips.
She blinked away the tears that had formed while she was going over the memory. They had gone to putt-putt much to Rachel's dismay but the Diva had quickly changed her mind when she realised Quinn would be teaching her in that cliché way how to play.
She reached around the brunette's waist and took hold of the golf club, placing her hands gently over the other girl's hands. She had felt Rachel relax into her touch and lean back, not really focusing on the game.
Steadying herself on the locker, she closed the door blinking away the memory. She didn't need to be thinking about this right now. She needed to be focusing on getting through the day without any Miss giving's.
"Hey Quinn." A quiet voice behind her spoke, she sniffed and stood up straight putting on the bravest face she could.
"Hey Brittany." She was surprised at how husky it sounded. She hadn't spoken a lot over the past few weeks and her voice sounded like someone else's completely. Looking over the tall dancer, she noticed Santana was also there.
"How are you?" Santana spoke next, looking over at the decorated locker then back at her. The Latina wasn't even trying to hide her sadness and concern, Quinn could basically feel it radiating off of her.
"I've had better days." Her voice wavered and the tear escaped before she could stop it. Shakily, she wiped it away and tried to swallow through the lump in her throat. Before she knew what was happening, Santana and Brittany caught her as she broke down into sobs. Everything was wrong, it was all wrong. It wasn't meant to be this way. Her sobs over took her and it felt like her chest was about to explode. She didn't hear the other girls' sobs as they sat in the busy hall and openly sobbed for the Diva.
Brittany was the first to stop crying and take hold of the other two, swaying gently and humming a familiar tune. Brittany hadn't realised she had done it but once she had started, she couldn't stop. Quinn started to sob harder and it seemed to break the Latina out of her trance. As Brittany hummed I feel Pretty/Unpretty, Santana rubbed her back and sang along gently.
The bell had gone long ago for first period and she was finally managing to calm down. Santana was still with her but Brittany, as much as she didn't want to, went to first period with Santana's constant insisting.
Her head was resting on the Latinas chest as it rose and fell in a rhythmic fashion. They sat there for a few moments longer until she began to shuffle out of the comfort, nodding at the Latina who smiled weakly.
Standing up shakily, she checked herself with her compact and felt relieved that she had chosen to not wear makeup. Even though she had promised herself she wouldn't do this, she knew she would and came prepared.
Santana walked with her silently to her next lesson, making sure Quinn was okay before stepping into class. She was grateful for Santana, although they had had their problems. They seemed to understand each other and have emotional conversations without really having them.
She stepped into class and took in how everyone seemed to be saying the same thing with their eyes. She sighed and looked over to the teacher and frowned when Mr Schue smiled and told her to take a seat.
She did as she was told and sat where she normally sat during Spanish. Looking around the room, she took in Santana who was whispering to Brittany. Continuing her glance around the room, her gaze finally fell upon the seat next to her. She frowned and bit her lower lip, it was empty.
Looking away quickly, she looked at the desk in front of her and smiled for the first time in a while. There on the desk was a drawing and a written conversation. It had been covered in contact so it would not be washed off.
She wiped away her tears as she read the conversation, letting a small laugh escape her. She had forgotten about this.
"Rachel sit still." She whispered, frustrated with the brunette for fidgeting and moving constantly causing the desk to shake.
"What you are doing is very wrong Quinn. What if you get caught? It's vandalism!" She hissed quietly, checking if Mr Schue was listening.
"Rachel. I'll clean it off once I'm done." She leaned in, placing a quick kiss on the divas jaw. She couldn't fight the smirk that played on her lips when she saw the Divas reaction.
"What are you drawing anyway?" Rachel whispered her brow furrowed in concentration. Quinn's smirk grew because she knew that Rachel's reaction had been much too inappropriate for class.
"You." She said smiling mischievously as Rachel started to squirm under her gaze. Quickly glancing at Mr Schue, she continued to draw the brunette. She smiled when she realised Rachel stayed in the same position for almost five minutes. She complied and drew the diva in her pose, arms crossed over the desk and a beautiful yet simple smile on her face.
It had been a quick sketch; no more than fifteen minutes but Rachel was more than pleased. She quirked an eye brow when Rachel started writing on the desk.
Quinn that is amazing!
So much for vandalism, aye?
Shh, your drawing needs to result in a little rule breaking. It's amazing! Do you think Mr Schue would let us keep it here for the rest of the semester?
I don't see why not other than it being against school rules.
Fantastic! I'll ask him after class!
She re-read the small conversation over and over and didn't even try to concentrate on the lesson. Going over the memory, Mr Schue had said yes after much persistence from Rachel and an almost diva storm out and after much deliberation, he carefully covered it in plastic contact.
The bell snapped her out of her thoughts as she stood up from her seat. Looking back at the desk one more time, she slipped out of the class room and onto her next one.
Math had gone by quickly and no one disturbed her which she was happy about. She had sat down next to Mercedes and was grateful for the girl to simply smile shyly and go back to focusing on her work.
Walking out her class to recess, she followed Mercedes into the cafeteria. She didn't feel like eating and went and sat down next to Puck and Kurt.
Kurt looked like he had been crying and Blaine was busy stroking his hair as he leant against his shoulder. Puck was looking at his food, his jaw looked tight and he looked slightly pale. She looked down at his bicep and noticed a black mark sticking out from under his t-shirt. She lifted his sleeve to reveal the name Rachel Berry and gold star next to it.
She looked up into his eyes and she saw the pain that he felt. Puck and Rachel had become extremely close after Quinn had invited Rachel to come see Beth with her. Puck had tagged along and immediately began to hang out with them more. She was his Jew and he was hers. When Quinn wasn't there for her, she would run to Puck and when Puck needed someone to talk to, he would run to Rachel.
He nodded and looked back down at his food, playing with whatever it was on his plate. She continued to look around the group at the table. Tina and Mike were in a quiet discussion, Artie was staring blankly at the wall, Mercedes wasn't touching her tots, Brittany was on Santana's lap, her head resting in the crook of the Latina's neck, Finn was playing with his phone and Sam was staring at his hands.
She glanced around the table, smiling smugly as Rachel tried to come up with a retort.
"What do you mean you brought me one as well?" Rachel asked eyes wide as she stared at the blonde in disbelief.
"You always make me try vegan food so I want you to eat some bacon." Quinn smiled, laughing at the brunette as she continued to stare at the blonde.
"No, its pork even if I wanted to, I couldn't." Rachel said and jumped in shock when Puck started to choke next to her. She patted his back as he continued to cough.
"Noah! Are you okay? What happened?" Rachel questioned concern all over her features.
"I forgot we weren't allowed to eat bacon!" He coughed again and chuckled when Rachel gave him a pained look.
"Quinn?" She snapped out of her trance and looked at Kurt who was still leaning on Blaine.
"Mhmm?" She hummed, letting him know she was listening.
"Are you coming to glee today?" She nodded and stared down at her hands. She felt a warm hand on her forearm and her head snapped to the contact. Frowning when a dark manly hand squeezed gently. She couldn't hide her disappointment.
The rest of the day went smoothly, no one talked to her and the teachers left her alone in class to do what she pleased. Most of the time she thought about glee and what she was going to do. She knew she would break down and was considering just skipping it. She couldn't do that though. She had told them that she was going to show up so she would.
The last bell went and she slowly packed up her books and headed to her locker. She had avoided it all day but she couldn't do it any longer. She needed to put her books away.
She saw her locker but stopped and turned to the decorated locker. It was all pink and bedazzled all the notes and cards written in purple or blue ink on pink paper, a red rose stuck to the top and their photo in the middle with large writing underneath.
Rachel Barbra Berry, let her never be forgotten and may she always be in our hearts. R.I.P.
She stared a moment longer until she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She knew from her experience at recess to know that it wasn't her. She had been silly to get her hopes up like that, even if it was a reflex and only for a split second.
She felt the hand take her bag and guide her to the choir room where she sat down and stared at the piano emotionlessly. Everyone sat in silence as they all thought the same thing. It wasn't the same when she wasn't here. It was quiet; it felt like all the joy in the world left when she did.
She and Rachel walked out the door hand in hand, smiling at shyly as they walked towards to exit. Santana and Brittany just ahead of them, connected by their pinkies.
"I love you Quinn." Rachel smiled up and leant into her. She wrapped her arm around the brunettes shoulder and kissed her forehead.
"I love you too." She smiled, playing with the brunette's hair.
They continued through the doors and into the parking lot and Quinn almost face palmed. "Oh crap."
"Quinn!" Rachel scolded.
"Sorry, I just forgot my math book. Wait here?"
"Of course." Rachel smiled turning to watch as she went to the door. The moment they lost contact she felt her stomach knot and couldn't shake a bad feeling, something she couldn't explain. She merely shrugged and continued to the door when she heard a scream and a loud bang.
Everything slowed down; it was like it was all in slow motion. She had turned to see Rachel lying motionless on the ground with blood flowing from the back of her head. Her eyes blank and expressionless, her lips turning blue at the blood loss.
She ran to the brunette and tried to stop the flow of blood but it wasn't enough. She tried desperately to get the girl to wake up, shaking her, kissing her, anything to make her see some sort of life come back to the dead girl.
"No! NO! RACHEL! Please! Please wake up." She screamed, begging the girl to move. Begging for life. She felt strong hands lift her up and out of her girlfriends reach. "No stop! Please! She needs me." She begged, fighting to get back to the motionless girl. "RACHEL!" She screamed again as she watched the men in the blue suites try and save her. She watched for twenty minutes and knew it was too late. She was gone. Her girlfriend was dead. She was never going to see that smile, those warm brown eyes looking up at her, she would never be able to touch her cheek, feel the shock and tingles when they touched and she would never be able to kiss those soft gentle lips, the lips that seemed to move so perfectly with hers.
"Quinn." Brittany said, tears in her eyes.
"Yes B?" Quinn swallowing down the lump in her throat.
"I miss Rachel." Brittany started to cry and basically leapt into her lap.
"I know B, I know. I do too..."