A/N So, the inspiration for this story is that Roger is in a mental asylum if you can't get that. Rated T because it's RENT. All of it will be in Roger's POV. R&R please!
This is his entire fault. His fault, not mine, his. But what can I do about it now? I'm here, in rehab. God Mark couldn't you see I was fine? Couldn't you see that no matter what you said or did nothing will ever change? Well, I did. I guess there's no way out until I'm clean though. At least it's better than prison. But you wouldn't throw me in prison, would you? No, I know you wouldn't. You care about me too much for that. I know we've had our ups and downs, but can't you see past that?
Apparently not.
But I will always care about you, even when you forget about me, even when you leave this crappy bohemian life behind for what you were really destined to do, I will care. I've always cared, and I always will care.
God you know they really think I'm nuts, thinking that someday you'll come back now that you're a successful filmmaker and all. And the moment I tell them off, they laugh. I know you'll probably never know any of this though; I'm probably just hallucinating again. Oh look another one, it's a needle. Or is it mustard, either way I'm hungry, sick, in withdrawal, and probably trapped here for the rest of my life. I hope you know now that once you move I'll have no where to go. I always depended on you; I always will depend on you.
Oh goody here they come again, only this time I see you checking into the front desk and asking where I am. The nurse only points towards me with a confused face. No one visits me. No one ever visits me. And since I know this is a moorage, no one will ever visit me.
All the feelings come back to me though, the joy, the anguish, the pain, but most of all the warm feeling that's coming up through my body. Now I realize what it was that I always felt for you. Love. True love. But no one loves me, no one has ever loved me, and no one will ever love me.
The click of the door frightens me, but then you run in and swoop me into a deep embrace. And now I know that it wasn't just my mind playing tricks, it wasn't just me missing you, and it wasn't my loneliness, you're really here.
As the first tear trickles down my red cheeks, I know it will soon be a waterfall of epic proportions, but I don't care. You're here now and that's all that matters. As we finally part, I do what I hadn't dared do for the 2 years we've lived together; I lean in closely kissing your lips softly. But of course the gentle spirit of it doesn't last for long before it becomes rough and passionate. You stand back and you're blue eyes are sparkling like the sea.
"I love you," is all I can mumble through my choked tears. "I have always loved you,"
"Hey guys, it's psycho." They finally taunt. I knew it was too good to be true. But at least now I know what it was that made me allow you to check me in here. Not cooperation, not my well being, but love. I love you, I have always loved you.
And I will always love you.