When the world was mine
Nothing belongs to me except a few
characters mentioned here and there, Addi, Sirius's sister, Mari, his wife, and
Erin, his girlfriend at Hogwarts. Oh and the song belongs to Roan Keating, I
think.
Several of the things Sirius talks about are mentioned in my story, My Name is Sirius Black, which is
long, but worth the read. Hey I got over three hundred reviews so it must be
good. Hehehe.
And be on the lookout here soon for a
new story, My Name is James Potter.
Please review. I'm going on vacation
tomorrow and tons of reviews would be a wonderful thing to come home to. Thanks!
It's night, James. I can tell, from the
stars that twinkle just outside my cave entrance. I can see myself. Well, sort
of. I can see my namesake.
Whenever we were outside, you would
always pick it out and say something. Like, "Hey, there's Sirius!" I remember this one time, you and Remus had
this long argument about whether I was standing next to them or up in the sky.
It was our second year, I think. No third. It's too long ago to remember. And Azkaban dulled most of my memories.
Yes, it was third. Right after my dad
died. You and Moony did it to cheer me
up. You were always doing things like
that.
It
never rained; the sun was always shining,
And
none of my mistakes were ever seen.
I can see Hogwarts from here. I wonder how Harry's doing tonight. I hope he's safe, keeps himself out of
trouble. But then he is the son of James Potter.
James, my
best friend. How I miss you. You know,
my life was prefect at that place. I had everything. Girls, good marks,
admirers, but most of all, I had you. I had you; James, and I had Remus, and
Peter, and Lily and Erin and Addi. And if I had you, then I had the world.
There
was a time when every door was open.
And
the Universe was mine, or so it seemed.
I remember everything sometimes. And it seems as if all this, all this time,
it never happened. I'm still fifteen years old, racing up the stairs from
Quiddich practice, you on my heels, on
our way to pick up the other two Marauders, and play some random prank on the
Slytherins.
In
every match we had the best seven.
That
it would ever end never crossed my mind
You know, I didn't know it could
end. Oh, I knew people died. I lost my
parents as a child. But I didn't you;
you of all people were mortal.
I
was flying higher than the heavens
Back
when the world was mine
I remember the first time we flew
together, do you? It was our first
flying lesson. We were all nervous. I'd never been on a broom before, but you,
you just grinned at me and said, "It'll be fun, Sirius." And I kicked off.
Soon we were
soaring. Madam Hooch was amazed. Do you
remember? She said she'd never seen two people flew that good. And Snape fell off. That was funny, and we
laughed for hours after.
Sometimes a man can't see,
When he has it all,
I remember when you first saw Lily.
We were at the sorting and you couldn't take your eyes off her. We teased you, but I got it just as bad when
I saw Erin. And later, when Remus met
Addi, we laughed then too. We laughed all the time.
Did you know, I almost never laughed before I met you, James. Almost never. But you brought it out. Truly you did. I would never have become the
prankster I was had you not run into me
while trying to get through the barriers between platforms nine and ten all
those years ago.
You know, I had everything, James. I really did. But I was blind. I didn't know I could lose
it in one second. And when you don't
see something coming, it's all the more shocking.
Take a look at me,
Oh, how the mighty fall,
If you could see me now, James.
Your best friend, the great Sirius Black, hiding in a cave, sharing one room with a higgogriff, living off rats, just so he can make sure your
son is safe. You know, Remus offered to
let me stay with him. but it's too far away from Harry.
You wouldn't recognize me, James. You wouldn't. I doubt even I do,
sometimes. When I look at myself now,
it's like it's someone else. It's like
I'm two people, the Sirius you knew, and Azkaban Sirius. It's like my mind is still
back there, still with you, but my body is not. I'm too different, too pale, though months of living in the woods is
changing that, too thin, you can't get fat off of rats and various other wooly
animals you actually have to catch, my eyes too haunted. That look appeared when you died, James. When you and Lily died. Or maybe it was before. Maybe I'd begun to have it before, maybe
when dad died, or when Erin passed. I don't know and Remus won't answer.
Once
I ruled the Earth,
Once upon a time,
Once upon a time, I never knew that
phrase could be true. We were once upon
a time. We were. But the story didn't
end with happily ever after, did it?
When I was your friend,
That's when the world was mine.
I am sorry, James. I know you'll never hear me. But I am. You did so
much for me. So much. You know, you
took me in. You were my friend when I was alone. Sure, we'd just met. But
even then I knew there was something about you, something different.
Oh,
the changes I'd make if I had the power.
How
could I have had so much and been so blind?
If only I could go back, if I could
take back those words. If I had been your secret keeper, or Remus or
Dumbledore. But I was a fool. I chose Peter. And it was all our undoing.
But even I
can see, if you hadn't died, if Harry hadn't defeated the Dark Lord,
he'd still be here. And so, in a way, you didn't die in vain.
How could
there have been so much I had, how could I have had so much? I had a life, a
career, and family. I had you. And I
didn't see how much it would hurt if I lost you. Well, it hurts, James. It
hurts a lot.
It
was only for a bright and shining moment,
That
I had you, and the world was mine.
You know, looking back, our years here
seemed to fly by. It seems like just yesterday we were scared little first
years, making our trip across the lake that
night, and falling out of the boat when Peter stood up. Do you remember
that? He was so scared. Remus too. You
and I just laughed. Like always.
And those seven years, they were the
best of my life. Sure there were dark
times, like when my dad died, or you all found out about my grandfather, or
that Christmas in our seventh year when I lost Erin, the most precious thing I
had.
But then, thanks to you, there would
always be something bright, something to cheer me up. And when I found Mari, things were just prefect, you know?
Sometimes
a man can't see,
When he has it all,
You know, Remus asked me why I laughed. Why I laughed like a maniac killer, standing there surrounded by
those peoples bodies, and Peter's bloody robes, realizing I was doomed. To tell
the truth, I don't know, James. I don't know.
Everything just broke down, all
my walls, all my defenses, everything came crashing down.
It was then
I realized I'd gambled with my friend's lives, and I'd lost.
Take a look at me,
Oh, how the mighty fall,
They are still looking for me, though
not as much as before. I haven't let myself be seen as anything but Padfoot, so
they think I've left. Harry is
constantly worrying about me. Imagine,
all he ha to deal with and he's worried about his foolish old godfather, who
sitting out here in the woods, perfectly fine, eating rats. I just imagine
they're Peter, and they don't taste that bad.
Once
I ruled the Earth,
Once upon a time,
Once upon a time, there was a boy, and
he had a friend. A great friend. That's you James. I miss you. We all do.
Say hi to Lily for me. And if you see them, tell my parents I didn't do
it and I love them.
When I was your friend,
That's when the world was mine.
You were, are my brother James. We're
connected by something stronger than simple friendship. I can feel it with
Harry and I felt it with you. I'll be
there for Harry, James. I swear. I'll
love him like he is you. I'll protect him, keep him safe, scold him when he's bad, laugh as he calls me a hypocrite, and I'll
tell him about his brave and noble
parents who died so that he could live.
And maybe
someday, I can have my world back.
That's when the world was mine.
