Summary: I stink at summaries, and since I don't have the entire thing planned out, it is subject to change. Basically, this will be a story of Remus Lupin. I am bummed out about the way my favorite werewolf's life played out, so I am going to fix it. The Marauder's and company are still out to fight Voldemort, and Harry will join in once we get that far, but this is mostly about Remus and his quest to make the world a better place for a race that is cursed to die a rather horrific death. I am completely open to suggestions, so if you think something should happen to make it more interesting, let me know, and I just might put it in :D

Disclaimer: Self-explanatory I think. I own nothing, except a few original characters that may or may not appear in this fic. Also, I am a broke-ass college student, so there would really be no point in trying to take me to court. Unless you are really interested in my second-hand, paperback book collection.

I love reviews. Especially reviews that inform me of how well I am writing. Aspiring authors love to know how they are doing. Just so you know, I have not had any of my stories looked at by a beta, so mistakes are mine. Let me know and I will try to fix them.

To Be a Monster

Prologue: Chances

Snarling, the wolf, stalked towards the cowering young man in the corner of the dilapidated old building. He sensed fear, and planned to take advantage of it. Taking another cautious step, the wolf heard the man let out a satisfying whimper of fear. A crash behind him made the wolf spin around in alarm, his fur standing on end. He had not sensed danger coming.

"Moony! No!" shouted a familiar voice. A dark-haired young man glanced briefly behind him, "Peter, get Severus out!" he shouted before transforming into the stag that often bossed the wolf around. Moony crouch, snarling as the stag leapt between him and the strange man in the corner. Prongs lowered his head, pushing the wolf back. Moony prepared to leap when a large, snarling black dog knocked him off balance. This was not how the pack was supposed to behave. He wanted his dinner! NOW!

"Severus, we have to leave now! They can't control him long!" Peter Pettigrew shouted, pulling the stranger frantically towards the door.

Moony made to follow them, and was promptly tossed aside by sharp antlers. Snarling, Moony turned his attention on the familiar animals in front of him. They would learn not to keep him from a meal. He didn't care if they were pack. He was hungry.

ooOoo

Remus Lupin woke to the usual blast of pain that followed the night of a full moon. Over the last two years, it had gotten a bit better; as James, Sirius, and Peter had learned how transform into Animagi and sooth the wolf in him. Today he was hurting like he hadn't in well over two years, and he wasn't sure why. His forehead wrinkled in pain, and he struggled to open his eyes.

Madam Pomfrey was standing next to him, a concerned look on her face. Remus realized with a jolt that his friends weren't there, as they always were after each moon. Remus tried to shift to a more comfortable position, and felt a stabbing pain in his belly. He let out a pained hiss, falling back. Madam Poppy Pomfrey turned to him immediately, her face revelaing an alarmed and sad expression.

"Oh, Remus," she said soflty, gently brushing his hair back. Remus was struggling to push pain back, not certain where, specifically, it was coming from. It felt like everywhere.

"What, happened?" Remus asked, hoarsely. He suddenly felt a gripping fear that he had hurt, or worse bit or killed one of his friends. He would never forgive himself if he had.

"Remus, there was a problem last night," Poppy started, her voice gentle as she tried to keep him clam. Remus suddenly felt tears in his eyes.

"I h-hurt s-someone?" Remus stuttered in alarm, his face getting very rapidly pale. Poppy shook her head quickly,

"No dear, everyone is okay. Last night Sirius and Severus got in a fight. I guess that Severus was demanding to know where you went every month and why no one seemed to know about it but you and your friends. He started in on Sirius' family, and it degenerated from there. Unfortunately, Sirius was angry and blurted out how to get past the Whomping Willow.

"Severus decided to go out there last night. When James found out about it, he ran down there to stop him, as did Sirius and Peter when they realized what could happen. Severus was backed into a corner as you were changing. James transformed into a stag, I believe to hold you off, and Sirius jumped in as a dog. From what they said, the wolf was not happy. He could sense the fear and hatred coming from Severus and tried to attack him for it. James and Sirius had a hard time keep you in control.

"That is why you are so injured. I believe Sirius had to bite you several times and you were hit with James' antlers quite often to keep you under control. Peter pulled Severus out of the Shack, and dragged him up to the Headmaster's office. All of the teachers stood outside the Shack last night, but none of us was really in a position to help your friends from a cornered werewolf. We simply had to hope they would be okay, and to prepare for the worst.

"By this morning, you were pretty beat up, dear. Sirius and James are pretty bruised, but otherwise okay. Other than James threatening to kill Sirius that is. They are both very upset at how much they had to hurt you last night. Severus has agreed to have his memory of the incident modified, but only after he talks to you."

Poppy looked at Remus sadly. The young werewolf had tears running down his bruised cheeks. He looked completely crushed. His shoulders were trembling, and it obviously hurt him to have even that much movement. Poppy knew that the young wolf placed trust in very few people, and this would completely destroy what little faith he had in humans.

"Is there anything I can do, dear?" she asked in concern. Remus shook his head slightly,

"Please keep them out. I need to talk to the Headmaster and Severus," he murmured shakily. Poppy nodded, gently squeezing his hand, and then left the room.

ooOoo

Remus was sitting propped up in bed, staring at his hands an hour later when the Headmaster entered the room with a rather grumpy looking Severus Snape. Dumbledore gave Remus a concerned look, seeing how badly hurt he was.

Remus looked up at Severus, pain in his eyes. "Severus, I am sorry for what they did to you, and for what I could have done to you. Would have done to you, had James not stopped me. You did nothing to deserve that, and I am glad that I didn't bite you, or kill you," he said softly, his voice shaking somewhat. Before Severus could respond in any way, Remus looked up at Dumbledore.

"Sir, I am sorry for the trouble I caused. I should never have allowed this to go on and I should have left when James and Sirius figured out what I am. There is no excuse for me to allow them or any of the other students to be put into such danger. We have risked the lives of too many people by allowing me to even be near a school full of children.

"I want you to know that there is no need for you to modify Severus' memory. I do not intend to stay in the school. As soon as I can move around, I am leaving. I won't, I can't risk this ever happening again," he said shakily. Then, he looked at Severus again,

"If you would like to press charges with the Ministry, I will be happy to accept the consequences of my actions," he said. "I don't care who you tell, or what you tell them. It is no more than an, animal, like me deserves."

Severus looked at Remus, then Dumbledore, then back to Remus again. "I see no reason to charge you with something your idiotic friends do, Lupin. You have my word to keep my mouth shut, whether you stay here, or not." Snape looked at him, then nodded to Dumbledore and left the hospital wing. Remus was more than a little startled by the reaction from the Slytherin. Snape had a right to be angry.

Albus sat down next to his young student, "Remus, you do not have to leave the school. I would very much like you to finish your education. You've worked so hard and you are nealry finished."

"Thank you, Professor, but I broke your trust. I risked other people's lives, with no thoughts for the consequences. I was so excited to have real friends, I just… I don't know. I don't have an excuse. Please just let me go, sir. I will study on my own and then take the N.E.W.T.S. at the end of the year. I can't stay here."

"Where will you go, Remus? I know that your mother died at the end of last summer. It will be very difficult for you on your own, especially without being a fully qualified wizard," Albus said in concern. Remus gave him a tiny smile,

"I know, Professor. Nevertheless, I will make my way, as I always have. Maybe when if I pass my N.E.W.T.S. I will be able to get a job tutoring kids with similar, difficulties, as myself. I always wanted to be a teacher," he said wistfully.

"Remus, can I ask you something?" Dumbledore inquired.

"Sure, Professor."

"If you weren't a werewolf, what would you have wanted to do with your life?" Dumbledore asked gently.

"When I was little, I wanted to change the world, Professor. I wanted to do what I could to make it a better place, and a safer place for my kind. But, it doesn't matter anymore. This time the world changed me instead. Thank you for giving me the chance to live normally for a while, Professor."

"Everyone deserves a chance, Remus," Dumbledore said softly, watching as the injured werewolf drifted to sleep. The old man let out a sigh, "Often the deserve so much more."

Chapter One: Time to Go

The next day, Remus trudged up to the boys' dormitory in Gryffindor tower, still hurting quite a bit. At least he could move though. Everyone was still in their last class of the day, so the halls were quiet. When he finally reached their dormitory, Remus looked around and with a sigh, began packing his things in his trunk. He was grateful that he had already turned seventeen, and thus would be allowed to use magic when he left.

As he packed his meager items, he paused, pulling out the Marauder's Map. It had been his turn to keep a hold of it. With a sigh, he set it on James' bed. Finally, he put the last book in his trunk. Kneeling on the floor, he closed the battered lid. He leaned up against the trunk, folding his arms, and then resting his head on them, ignoring the pain stabbing his side. He let himself cry quietly for what he was leaving behind. Hogwarts meant so much to him, and it was all over.

Sirius, his friend, had always been at his side when he woke after the moon. He had been the one to first confront him about being a werewolf then reassure him that they weren't planning to abandon him, or lead a mob to chase him off the school grounds, as he'd half feared.

James had been the one who always reassured him that he wasn't a monster. That he could make it in the world, despite everything that it threw his way. He had been the one to get his parents to focus their charitable donations on finding a cure for Lycanthropy and work for werewolf rights.

Peter was the one that laughed at James and Sirius with Remus whenever the two got up to serious mischief or into yet another detention. The quiet boy who was often overlooked, but always friendly and good-natured. Remus knew there was more to him than what others saw.

Remus would miss them, even if he was furious and hurt at the betrayal of Padfoot. They had completely ignored the fact that he turned into a bloodthirsty monster once a month, and had even devoted a lot of time to help him be in less pain during the transformations. Remus knew that he couldn't stay though. This had only showed him how much danger he was putting the other students in. Especially when they were not aware of what he was.

It took him several minutes, but he finally got a hold of himself. He slowly climbed to his feet, and then shrunk his school trunk, putting it in his pocket. He wiped the tears off his face, and took a breath. With one last glance around the room, he turned and left the dormitory.

ooOoo

Severus looked at the remaining three Marauders, in their last class of the day. Potion's was finally almost over.

"Did you all say good bye to your friend? I know you must be simply heartbroken," he said with a sneer. James glanced up at him looking annoyed,

"What are you going on about Snape?" he asked, revealing no hint of the malice that had been in his voice for so long.

"He didn't tell you? Well I guess I can't blame him for not trusting you. Your werewolf is leaving, Potter, today if he can manage to get out of bed. He told Dumbledore that he won't put anyone else at risk," Severus told them, slightly smug that he knew something that the Marauders did not.

Sirius exchanged a horrified expression with James and Peter. All three students ignored the protests of Professor Slughorn as they jumped up and ran out the door. They got to their dormitory and saw that all of Remus' things were gone already. James swore, and then saw the Marauder's Map sitting on his bed. He picked it up and they looked frantically for the dot that would point out Remus.

They found him at the exit to the castle, standing with Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, and Poppy Pomfrey. The boys ran down, taking all the shortcuts that they could find.

They skidded to a halt silently. No one at first seemed to realize they were there, but Dumbledore looked at them, the twinkle gone from his eyes. He finished talking to Remus,

"Remus, as I said before, you are welcome to stay here. However, since you are so insistent on leaving, I want to wish you the best of luck, and if there is anything at all I can do, feel free to let me know," Albus said.

"Mr. Lupin, when you are ready to take that N.E.W.T.S. you let me know. I will be your sponsor for the Ministry." McGonagall said, gently laying a hand on the shoulder of one of her brightest and most gentle students.

"Remus, I will miss seeing you every month. Please take care of yourself, and try to get medical attention when you can. I don't want to see you hurt. You can call me anytime you need to, and I will come," Poppy said, giving the young werewolf a gentle hug.

Remus gave the three professors a very small smile. "Thank you for that and thank you for letting me be a part of this school for so long. I appreciate it, and I will send you an owl letting you know how I am doing."

"I know your mother would have been proud of you, Remus, as would your father. I know their loss was hard on you, but they would be proud of the way that you are working past the prejudice of the wizarding world," Albus said, looking very upset that the best student in the school and the kindest man he'd ever met was leaving. Remus gave him a small smile,

"Thank you, Professor," Remus said, wrapping his tattered cloak tighter around him.

James, Sirius, and Peter were all horribly shocked by the conversation. They'd had no idea that he was leaving by his own choice, nor that both of his parents had died. They looked at their friend, and could see how battered he was and how much he was hurting.

Each adult gave the young man a hug, and then left him with his friends. Remus had closed his eyes. They watched him take a breath, then turn amber eyes to his friends. He had known they were there. He heard them, and smelled them as well. James, Peter, and Sirius walked towards him slowly.

"Rem-" James started in distress. Remus shook his head,

"It's okay guys. It is time for me to leave; I've pushed this long enough. I probably should have left when the three of you figured it out," Remus said quietly. He gave James a weak hug,

"Thank you for stopping me," he said quietly. Then he gave Peter a hug,

"Thank you for getting him out, Peter," he said to the smaller boy. Last, Remus turned to Sirius, who didn't know what to expect. Startling them all, Remus also gave him a hug.

"Siri, I know you didn't mean for that to happen. I was angry for a while, but I forgive you for it. Thank you for stopping me," he said. The dog animagus looked completely astounded that he'd been forgive, though perhaps he shouldn't have been so surprised. Remus would forgive anyone for offenses against himself. He just didn't have it in him to hold a grudge.

Remus looked at the three of them, who were for once shocked into silence. Remus pulled something out of his pocket, and then closed it in James' hand. Remus backed away and gave them a small, tired smile. "Mischief managed for this Marauder," he said very quietly, then turned and left the castle.

James numbly opened his hand and saw the pin they had made years ago when they became friends, and had modified to include a wolf, stag, rat, and dog. Each pin had their nickname on it. James looked up at the other three, tears in his eyes. The three of them ran out the door, just as Remus made it past Hogwarts' wards. He turned towards them, gave a little wave, then Apparated away.

"He's gone," Sirius murmured in horror. Peter frowned, looking at James,

"Will we ever see him again?" he asked quietly. James shrugged, looking upset.

"I don't know, Peter. I don't know."

ooOoo

Remus Apparated away from the only place he had ever been happy, his heart heavy. When he landed outside the tiny run down house he had grown up in, he sighed. In the span of a few hours, his entire life was destroyed. He had known that it could happen. It had happened to him before. It would happen again, he was sure.

Such was the fate of being a monster.