His second anniversary. A day that should commemorate one of the happiest days of his life, but it simply reminded him of the day he had started the downward spiral into a very unhappy time.
Shikamaru blew the candles out one at a time each one causing the room to grow dimmer and dimmer. When all of them were out and the room was as dark as the streets outside he picked up the two untouched plates and ambled to the kitchen where he dropped the contents in the garbage and threw the china in the empty sink.
Temari had slammed their bed room door shut, something that was bound to happen more than three times a week. Their fights had become a routine each one more and more escalated. Shikamaru was just waiting for the one when she would throw him out.
He stood in the hallway staring at the shut door as light emerged from the small crack between the ground and the oak plank illuminating the hallway. The house was dark and aside from the sobs coming from the other side of the door it was quiet.
He couldn't help but feel terrible that he had been the cause of the tears Temari shed. It was true he had fallen out of love with her and that most of the fights centered around how little he cared, which was also true, but was he entirely to blame? Shikamaru thought he loved Temari at some point, but they had both fallen into a dark hole that clouded them from see the good in each other and only let them see the faults. They had both given up and even though they were only hurting each other it was hard for them to change.
Shikamaru sulked threw the house pulling pillows from the closet and sheets from the cupboard. Throwing them onto the old green coach. The nights that he was shut out of his own room he would reside on the decrepit coach. You could see Shikamaru spent many nights on it for it had been molded to his form, leaving a large canyon in the cushions.
He would lay thinking of home. Temari thought his time alone would let him think of what he had done wrong, but he defied her and thought of Konoha, the one thing at the moment that made him happy. He thought of the times he spent watching clouds and training and being around his team mates. His joyous thoughts and happy memories helped him fall asleep. The warmth he felt when he remembered the good and forgot the bad pulled his eyes shut.
The sun beat warm down on Shikamaru's neck as her strolled through Suna's street. He had no destination, but needed to get out of the house before Tamari woke. The streets were not as crowded as Konoha's, but they were just as noisy.
Above all the noise he heard a familiar voice complain "Of course it's warm it's the freaking desert. Now let's go."
Shikamaru quickly turned to see a tall frustrated blonde walking with a shaggy haired man and a large dog. What were Ino and Kiba doing here?
Shikamaru whistled provocatively towards the woman "Hey, blondy."
Ino stopped dead in her tracks and swiftly spun around on the balls of her feet. The anger on her face quickly turned to joy as she ran towards Shikamaru jumping into his open arms hugging him."You ass."
"I' m the ass? You were gonna come here and not even stop in and say hi." He said still holding Ino tight.
He took a deep breath and his nostrils were filled with the sweet smell of dew. So familiar and nostalgic, the smell instantly brought back a warm feeling within him.
"Sorry, it slipped my mind that you could live in a town with so little clouds to stare at." Ino giggled in his ear making him chuckle.
Shikamaru let her slip to the ground and released Ino from his arms" Do you guys wanna get something to eat?"
Ino looked to Kiba who nodded and then rubbed his stomach. Ino just rolled her eyes. "Sure."
On the way to the restaurant Ino caught Shikamaru up on everything that had had happened in Konoha since he had been gone. He didn't ask, but she was more than willing to tell all. He just listened loving the way her eyes lit up when she talked about her home.
He never really considered Sanu his home. Konoha was always his home. It was true that home was where the heart is and he had left his heart in Konoha.
"Akamaru is getting really antsy can we just meet you at the gates in an hour?" Kida pushed the dog away as he returned for another game of tug-a-war.
"Okay no later though. I don't want to have to make up for the time by traveling in the dark." Ino watched as Kiba ran from the large dog and then she was surrounded by a storm of dust.
"That dog!" Ino couldn't help but laugh.
She disappeared in the cloud of dust left behind by the dog. As it cleared he saw him walking down the street.
"Where are you going?" Shikamaru called after her. She didn't know the town very well. How could she lead the way?
She looked at him and smiled "Somewhere only we'll know."
Shikamaru laughed staring at the ground "You know Ino, missing Konoha isn't the hardest part of being here."
She looked back at him pain in her eyes.
"Don't." She spoke quietly.
"It's miss you."
She shook her head focusing on the ground, as if she was trying to shake off her thoughts.
"And knowing I once had you."
The day was hot, but the forest was cool, in the damp and pine filled way that only Konoha could be.
"Shikamaru I think we're lost." Ino called to him as he jumped over a large tree rout.
"Oh don't worry. I know this place like the back of my hand." Shikamaru said peering at his hand ",Hey that's new." He joked.
"Shika if we get lost and the headline in next week's paper is 'Stupid Teens Lose Their Way and Die in Nara Forest' I'm going to kill you."
He chuckle and continued on walking absentmindedly over the mossy earth.
"So this Neji kid."
"Yea?" Ino smiled and watched as Shikamaru's face turned slightly red.
"Well is he….."
"No." Ino giggled at Shikamaru's attempt to be a better friend and talk about what he thought she wanted to discuss: feelings and boys.
"I've just seen you two together a lot lately." Shikamaru tried to redeem himself by legitimizing his question.
"We are seen together a lot. What do you think people say about us?" Ino couldn't stop the slight giggle in her voice.
"Well…" He started to say something, but cut himself off.
"So this Temari girl?"
"Well I'm not sure what we are? I think we're more than friends." Shikamaru said pushing back branches as they entered the thicker parts of the forest. Ino just laughed.
"Here we are" Shikamaru stopped and watched as Ino's eyes grew wide exploring the scenery around her.
A small stream reflected the autumn colors. It flowed slowly over the grey rocks twisting and turning creating different patterns in the water. The colors of the seasons where brightest here, every shade of orange, yellow and red reflected on the surface of the water. One tree stuck out though. It sat on the opposite side of the stream from where they stood. It was a large Douglas Fir that caught her attention. Its dark green color stood out against all the others and its size towered over the deciduous trees. She watched as a cardinal jumped from its branches.
"Where are we?" Ino asked.
"Somewhere only we'll know."
She looked confused at first, but a smile tugged at her full lips.
Shikamaru hopped from rock to rock and landed on the other side of the stream next to the large fir kneeling and digging through the earth by its trunk. He pulling out an old dirt-covered box, no bigger than his palm.
Ino followed across the stream, landing next to him and kneeing to see what he had taken from the hole. It was a cigarette carton squished and ripped, dirty and aged.
"It's his." Shikamaru said turning it in his hands "I know it's childish but, it was all I had left of him. I should have let it go it's been almost two years."
"Shikamaru whatever it takes to deal with someone's death is never childish. Some shinobi never accept the death of a comrade." Ino stared at the carton as Shikamaru continued to turn it in his hand. She then cupped both her hands around his." You are much stronger than me. Much wiser."
He smiled at her then pushed back the hair from her face allowing him to see both crystal blue eyes. She looked up at him as they became watery and tears threatened to spill. In that moment Shikamaru lost his self-control and kissed Ino full on the lips.
He felt her body stiffen in surprise, but only for a moment before she melt against his as he pulled her closer. She tasted of sweet fruit and her lips were warm and welcoming. Shikamaru licked at her mouth asking for entry and she abided letting his tongue explore her mouth. His tongue pushed hers around, not a common thing normally Ino did the pushing.
Shikamaru slowly lowered Ino into a laying position. He slid his kisses down her neck pulling sounds from her he had never heard Ino let out before. He breathed in the scent of her neck, kissing at the sensitive skin between her neck and shoulder as his hands moved to the bottom of her shirt. He felt Ino inhale deeply, pushing her body into his touch. Shikamaru worried he was going too fast and pulled his hand away, setting it down on her thigh.
Ino's hands rose to Shikamaru's shoulders, pushing at them and turned him so her knees rested on the earth on either side of his hips and then she pulled away. He watched as she took a breath, calming herself then she started to pull at the buttons on her shirt.
Shikamaru stopped her "Ino are you sure?"
Ino nodded pulling her shirt off revealing her bare chest. She watched Shikamaru's eyes as they went no lower than her neck line, as a sign of respect. Shikamaru looked into her eyes and goosebumps raised on her skin. She pulled his hands up to her waist, guiding them over her ribs before letting go. Her breath caught in her throat as he moved them up further, the tips of his thumb grazing the bottom of her breasts. At the sound he elicited he pulled her down to him by the nape of her neck kissing her and turning them both so he was on top again.
He quickly interrupted the kiss and pulled his shirt over his head throwing it carelessly to the ground. Then pushed against Ino in an effort to deepen their kiss. It was aggressive an almost blinding feeling. Her hips moved against something hard as his kisses strolled down to her bosom, sending foreign sensations threw Ino's body that overpowered her. She arched her back up to him. Shikamaru smiled in satisfaction.
He lowered his kisses even further and pulled at her shorts. Ino bit at her bottom lip, closing her eyes as her nerves started to get the best of her. She opened them again as she noticed Shikamaru had stopped, his face was looking down at her concerned, one hand came to her chin, tilting it up to look at him.
"I love you Ino. You know that."
Ino nodded a familiar smile crawled up her mouth and Shikamaru couldn't resist. He smiled, kissing her, then pushing them both back to the ground.
Shikamaru slid his fingers along the waistband of her shorts leaning back and pulling them off as she lifted her legs up in the air. She rested them against his chest as he left light kissed along the length of them. He moved back down to her, kissing her sweetly as he moved one hand between her legs.
She breathed deep trying to again to calm herself, but her hips bucked up into his touch with excitement. Her eyes closed and Shikamaru watched her face carefully as he slid two fingers inside of her. Her head lulled back, a small moan escaping her lips.
He began moving his thumb in circles as he kissed at her neck and she clung to his shoulders. Her grip tighten and he knew he was doing something right. Her breathing became frantic and short as he continued and she almost reached a breaking point, but Shikamaru cut her off.
"Shikamaru we can…" Ino didn't quite know what she was asking for but she knew she was asking for more.
He did not answer just looked up at the stream. He was unsure of whether they should continue or not. The meaning of it all was not clear cut in his mind like all his other decisions. Of course her giving herself to him like this meant she was his and would be his forever. He would be her first, and even in the shinobi world that meant something.
"Shika."
He looked back down at her. Her eyes looked up at him calculating, trying to figure out what he was thinking. She brought a hand to his cheek, stroking it gentle with her thumb.
She craned her head up to kiss his forehead, then the bridge of his nose, then waited centimeters from his lips, his head tilted down away from her kiss. She was clouding his judgement. She was telling him she wanted this, but what would it do to their friendship. He worried this would only hurt her in the long run.
"I love you too." She whispered against his lips.
His thoughts dissipated. He kissed her passionately. Moving his forearm under her head and leaning to one side as he used his other hand to pull his boxers down, she spread her legs and shivered as his tip brushed against her.
Shikamaru grunted as he thrust into her. Every muscle in her body moved to make room for the foreign feeling pushing at her walls. Ino couldn't help it, she let out a breathy whimper, clinging to Shikamaru. She turned her face from him as he stared down at her.
He held still, letting her become accustom with the feeling and he didn't move until she had turned her face back to him moving her hand gently up his back and pulling him down into a kiss. Shikamaru pulled out fully and then sunk back down. He moved in a smooth rhythm as her breathing increased and her moans of almost pain turned to pleasure.
Ino's head tilted back as he increased his speed sinking deeper into her. She had found a spot on his shoulder that she tucked her face into trying to dull the sounds she was making.
"More!" Ino demanded. Her eyes dilated, a lust in them that made him obey.
Shikamaru felt her chest heave against his and her muscles contract tighter with each thrust. He groaned in ecstasy.
Ino could almost tasted the end. Her muscles twitching and convulsing sporadically.
He could sense that she was close so he slid the hand that was at the back of her head down over her chest. She didn't consciously notice the movements, but her back arching and her breast pushing up against him, before his thumb came to rest between her legs making slow circles again.
She bit down hard on her lip holding back a loud moan as every muscle in her body stopped moving, becoming tense. Then her thighs shook as she held her breath. She inhaled as he muscles continued to twitch invariable.
Shikamaru continued on, before finishing quickly. His hands dug into her hips trying to stabilize himself as he groaned into the crook of her neck.
They stayed like that until they had both managed to catch their breath. Shikamaru eventually rolled over onto his back one hand still draped over her hips.
They lay staring up at the blue sky that peaked through the fall leaves. Their bodies glistened with sweat. Ino shivered when the wind picked up and the tactile feeling came back to her. She turned to see Shikamaru staring her. He smiled and then brought a hand to her face, sliding his fingers back and forth across her cheeks. He kissed her gently.
They never told anyone where the old carton was buried or what had happened that day. It was somewhere no one could find it. Somewhere with no lines of longitude and latitude. Somewhere not marked on any map. It was somewhere only they knew.