Another one! Oh my! Now that I feel that my other story stinks, I have decided to try something else. The completely random funny doesn't seem to be something that I can pull off, but I put lots a dialogue in here for yalls. I will still update my other story if I get some more reviews, but I felt the need to do something different (and with more H. A. characters in) So, so, so, I hope to get some reviews for this one, and I don't really have a long term plot for this one. I am contemplating (make like the philosopher) hmm……well, if you have any screamingly good plot ideas, and are too lazy to write them yourself, please show them to me (someone marginally less lazy) and I will do my best. Envy is for Hanna (as previously mentioned.)
Chapter one
Temper, Temper
To Make You Screw Up The World Is designed-Alexandra Kronz
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick tock…..tiiick-toooock. "Augh! Somebody turn off the frikin' clock!!!" Envy growled. The thing must have a pact with an angel to drive him insane!
"Ooh, Envy, dear, do stop complaining. the clock I can deal with, but a four-hundred-year-old whining? Today is pathetic enough already." Lust purred mockingly, examining her fingers.
"I wasn't whining, you stuck up, little-"
"Now, now, hun'," Lust interrupted with a malicious smirk, "you don't want to go getting all riled up, not just before we visit the boss." Envy winced perceptibly, squirming in his seat. The truth was that it was his fault that they were 'visiting the boss.'
He had started a fight with that stupid little shrimp when they had been expressly forbidden by Dante to show their faces to anyone for the duration of the holidays. Dante didn't want to have to deal with the extra security that the military had up during the break (deck the halls with rows of soldiers, fa lalalala, lala la la) incase of holiday terrorists targeting the packed shopping centers and such. Envy twitched again at the memory; he had been trying to shop for food (damn kid Wrath was always hungry, and there was never anything left for anyone else!) Anyway, he had been quietly minding his own business, when up walked the midget along with his tin-can-tag-along (Ed's a girl scout!?!….that'd be one gross cookie….XD well, I meant Al, you know.) stops at the donut stand,. One of who's tables Envy was sitting at, and ordered a few donuts, (with Alphonse behind him, quietly grumbling about how unhealthy junk food was, and how 'nii-san' should stay away from it….) Now, it was hard for even Envy to find this insulting, but what the alchemist did next he just could not let pass. He took his donuts, and sat down not to many tables away from Envy, and began to laugh and joke with Alphonse (who was still grumbling about 'junk food') this also, I'm sure, seems inoffensive, but what he was joking about was Envy himself!
Lust, as if reading his thoughts, remarked contemptuously, "You've got quite the temper around that Full metal boy, haven't you? No self control whatsoever…." The truth was that lust too was nervous; you didn't cross Dante. It was as simple as that. And yet, so very complicated. She sighed.
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"So, so, so. Who the hell stole my doughnuts?" Edward Elric stared down at the empty paper bag in his hand, quietly fuming. "Dammit! Al, you know what?"
"No, I don't know him." Al said in a monotone voice, expecting what was coming, and feeling a bit down about it.
"I HATE THE HOLIDAYS!!!!!" Edward shrieked, completely ignoring Al's answer. All of the other shoppers crowding the slush-covered street froze for a moment, then dismissed it as a child having a fit, and resumed what they were doing (mostly trying to get somewhere less wet and miserable, with more parking spaces.)
Al sighed, and resumed walking toward their tiny apartment in central, hoping Ed would follow him.
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Alphonse towed Edward up the three flights of stairs with and accompaniment of growls and sniffles, followed by requests for 'a goddamn tissue!' Al stopped in front of the apartment door, and turned his head toward Edward meaningfully. Ed glared back at him. "You never gave me those tissues." He said, and sniffed again in the cold wind playing about the landing.
"I don't have any tissues. We left them here when you complained about how humiliating it was to have everyone know that you get a runny nose when it gets cold. Frankly, I think that it would have been less humiliating to be honking the entire meeting rather than having snot running down my face, but it's all in personal opinion." Edward glared, shivered, dripped, and stuck his chin out stubbornly. (It reminds me of those songs where you do movements, and add one every round you sing. You know; "Father Abraham had seven suns, seven sons had father Abraham. And they never laughed, and they never cried, all they did was go like this…with a left. Father Abraham had seven suns, seven sons had father Abraham. And they never laughed, and they never cried, all they did was go like this with a left, and a right….father Abraham….like that, and it keeps going. XD)
"Look," said Alphonse, "I could spend all day sitting in a glacier, and it wouldn't bother me. You're only freezing your own butt." Edward glared for a minute more, then shivered violently, and, finally, dug in his pocket to find the keys.
Edward trudged inside, shuffling in order to rid his boots of snow, and Alphonse clanked in behind him, chinking and grinding for the same reason. Edward plopped down on their second hand couch in the living room, and attempted to remove his suction-cup boots (you know how ski boots get; dats what I mean) which, when they finally did let go, left his feet feeling sore, egging on his bad mood.
Al had clanked off to the kitchen, in order to attempt to hunt down some baking ingredients. He felt that he and his brother were both deeply in need of some sort of stress reliever. Though he doubted he could bake cookies like mom, even with fresh ingredients instead of the pre-done mix in the cupboard. While Al measured and mixed he tried to remember the last time that ed and he had really enjoyed Christmas…..not since Ed joined the military….no, wait, not since the Accident.
Edward leaned back against the almost-moldy couch, and sighed. It seemed so simple, and yet, it was so very, very complicated.
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Envy glared at the clock once more, and realized that it was time to go in. He glanced across the table at lust, and reluctantly rose out of his chair. Lust did the same, and with a quick tidying flip to her hair, walked up to the study door. She knocked twice, efficiently, as if she was not concerned at all, as if she was simply delivering someone else for a 'visit.' She was obviously doing everything in her power to disassociate herself from Envy.
Envy decided that she wouldn't get away clean, no matter what. He was feeling particularly malicious, partly because of the urge to relieve his nerves, and partly because of that god damn clock.
The door swung open, and Greed, sitting languidly in a uncomfortable looking chair mocked "Come in, Dear" in a gratingly sugary voice. "Today we will learn about self control," he quipped. When Dante swung around in her chair and shot him a meaningful look he hastily added; " and now I'll hand it over to the real teacher…..have fun, class." Greed swept out of the room with a gleeful look (partly at getting out of Dante's study, and far away from her.) and pulled the door quietly shut behind him, no doubt waiting in the hallway to listen to Envy's possibly painful telling off.
Envy seethed to himself, and tried to stop thinking about wringing Greed's stupid blue neck. It was not that hard, with Dante sitting still, and icily quiet in her ornately carved and cushioned desk chair. She was wearing her most polite, mild look, which meant the very worst. Envy gulped, wishing that he could just melt into the floor, like sloth.
Lust backed into the shadows in the corner of the room nearest the door, and Dante focused the full force of her freezing violet stare on Envy. "Do, please, explain the reason for this ruckus."
K, so how do you like it? I love my inanimate objects!!! They make me happy. The weird thing is that I used to hate baby dolls with a vengeance, and Barbie types even more. Prolly because the idiot designers at the toy companies are defiling the beauty of the inanimate objects by making them in human form (and also it would be hard to have a body that looked that nice. Damn, I feel un-sexy. I mean a body like the Barbies', not the babies'. I fell like Dr. Seuss now……is Dr. Seuss sexy? ) any way, the only dolls I would play with were horse ones, so I didn't totally hate them, but I much prefer doors, and clocks ('cept when the alarm goes off in the morning. Then the clocks can go to hell.) I also like my computer, and I was sad when the power went out recently. I had to live on reading books with candles, which was kinda stinky, plus having to decorate the tree with a flashlight. I didn't try to write anything on paper, because it's hard to read my writing, even though my spelling is fine. I try to write cleanly on spelling tests. Please R&R my story. anyway,
Merry Christmas, and much lurv,
AllE K.
P.S.
Ooh, ooh, guess what! Tree ornaments are fun inanimate objects, too. They may get dusty, but they're always willing to talk to you, cause they're board being shut up all year. They don't get all stuck up like SOME do (stupid early alarm clocks!!!!!!) I cry every time I unpack a broken tree ornament.