el.tango.de.roxanne.
Ok so this is a songfic in which Hammy and Heather tango about RJ. (Just like the tango maureen from RENT) So enjoy!!! THe reason I wrote it was because everyone writes about RJ and Heather so It fits perfect.
disclaimer: I dont't own over the hedge or Rent. I can Dream tho...
HammyMark
HeatherJoanne
RJMaureen
Hammy walked past Heather and they stopped. Music began to play from nowhere. Heather began:
the samples won't delay but the cable-
Hammy Interrupted:
there's another way,
say something- anything,
Heather:
test one,two, three...
Hammy:
Anything, but that.
Heather:
This is wierd.
Hammy:
It's wierd.
Heather:
Very wierd.
Hammy:
Fuckin' Wierd.
Heather:
I'm so mad that I dont' know what to do.
Fighting with microphones, Freezing down to my bones,
And to top it all off I'm with you!
Hammy:
Feel like going insane?
Got a fire in your brain?
And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?
Heather:
As a matter of fact-
Hammy:
Honey, I know this act,
It's called the Tango RJ.
The Tango RJ,
It's a dark dizzy merry-go-round,
As he keeps you dangling,
Heather:
You're Wrong!
Hammy:
Your heart he is mangling!
Heather:
It's different with me!
Hammy:
And you toss and you turn,
Cause his cold eyes can burn,
Yet yearn and you churn,
And rebound!
Heather:
I think I know what you mean...
Both:
The Tango RJ
Hammy:
Has he every pouted his lips and called you,
Pookie?
Heather:
Never!
Hammy:
Have you every doubted a kiss or two?
Heather:
This is Spooky!
Did you swoon when he walked through the door?
Hammy:
Everytime, so be cautious.
Heather:
Did he moon over other boys?
Hammy:
More than Moon...
Heather:
I'm getting nauseous.
They move closer and begin to Tango around a tree.
Hammy:
Where'd ya learn to tango?
Heather:
With the French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Mrs. Porter's?
And you?
Hammy:
With Nenette Heimilfarb, the rabbi's daughter, at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center.
(they really learned it at the hedge. shh!)
Heather switches places with Hammy at the lead and he follows.
It's hard to do this backwards.
Heather:
You should try it in heels.
Hammy falls to the ground and is knocked out. He wakes up in a large ballroom where couples are tangoing. At the middle of the room, RJ is tangoing with Stella, dreesed in a black tuxedo with a red flower at the pocket. Hammy and Heather jump into the sychronized dance. RJ glances at them and kisses Stella's cheeck.
He cheated!
Hammy:
He cheated!
Heather:
RJ cheated!
Hammy:
Fuckin cheated!
Heather:
I'm defeated I should give up right now!
RJ dances with Hammy for a while, then with Heather. Stella pulls him back to her.
Hammy:
Gotta look on the brightside,
With all of you're might!
Heather:
I'd fall for him still anyhow!
Both:
When You're dancing his dance,
You don't stand a chance,
His grip of romance makes you fall!
Hammy:
So you think "Might as well,
Heather:
Dance a Tango to Hell!"
Both:
At Least I'll have Tangoed at all,
The Tango RJ!
Gotta dance til your diva is through,
You pretend to believe him!
Cause in the end you can't leave him!
But then end it will come,
Still you'll have to play dumb,
Till you're glum and you're blum
And turned blue!
Hammy:
Why do we love when he's mean?
Heather:
And he can be so obsene!
My RJ (RJ,RJ,RJ)
RJ kisses Stella then Verne.
RJ: Who's really cheating here? Me or them?
Geastures at Stella and Verne. (I added that. Don't get mad!)
Both:
The Tango RJ.
So what did ya think??? tell me please! Review!