L'Anneau Misérable
by HobbitAinsley
The Author's Note(s) : First and foremost, special thanks to my husband Javert, poor Cosette (we'll get Marius to stop beating you soon...), Whore #4 *grin*, my Tree-O sister, my 13 children, and all the wonderful people who made this summer so much fun - you all get first pick of characters when I convince Cameron Mackintosh to bring this to Broadway. (I, of course, play The Author, but anything else is still completely available – except Frodo who will, of course, be played by Elijah Wood. RrrrrRrrrrRrrrrRrrr... )
Secondly this is the *complete* libretto of Les Miserables, so many parts are not necessarily on the CD's you have – unless you own the Complete Symphonic Recording.
Thirdly, umm... hmm... I feel I should make a longer Author's Note, but I can't really think of anything to say, apart from the warning that the following is complete dimentia (but what else could you expect from me ?). Enjoy!
The Year : 1500 of the Second Age of Middle-Earth. Sauron helps forge Rings for all the Free People of Middle-Earth. Little do they know... *bwu-ha-ha*
The Rings of Power:
Look down, look down
Don't look 'em in the eye
Look down, look down,
You'll cause 'em all to die
The Elf-Lords:
The sun is strong
Why'd we come to this land of woe?
Their Rings:
Look down, look down,
Twenty millennia to go
The Dwarf-Lords:
I'll do no wrong!
Sweet Aulë, hear my prayer!
Their Rings:
Look down, look down,
Sweet Aulë doesn't care
Kings of Men:
I know they'll follow,
I know that they'll be true!
Their Rings:
Look down, look down,
They've all forgotten you
The One Ring:
When I get free ya won't see me
Here for dust!
The Other Rings:
Look down, look down
Don't look 'em in the eye
Sauron takes control of Middle-Earth through the Rings, and begins his rampage.
Middle-Earth:
How long, oh Lord
Before you let him die?
The Rings:
Look down, look down,
You'll always be a slave
Look down, look down,
You're standing in your grave
The Last Alliance (Unless you count the We Really Mean It, No More Times, Last Chance, Not Helping You Again, We Pinky Swear, Cross Our Heart LAST Alliance at Helm's Deep - *rolls eyes*) of Elves and Men show up to challenge Sauron. After Elendil is killed, Isildur steps forward.
Isildur
Now bring me the maia by the name of Sauron
Your time is up -
Your downfall has begun
You know what that means.
Sauron:
Yes, it means I win!
Isildur:
No!
It means you get
To leave this land again!
You are a Dark Lord
Sauron:
I made a little Ring.
Isildur:
You destroyed Middle-Earth.
Sauron:
I'm not called evil for naught.
Morgoth was chained, I was left alone
I had to do something.
Isildur:
You will fall with him
Since you have now killed my daddy.
Sauron:
I know what you're thinking – you'll kill me here
But I… still hold the Ring!
Isildur:
You're going down for what you did -
We don't appreciate Morgoth's spawn
Yes, you are Morgoth's spawn.
Sauron:
Fool! My name is Sauron!
Isildur:
And I am Isildur
Do not forget my name!
Do not forget me,
Dark Lord of Mordor...
Isildur cuts the Ring from Sauron's finger, Sauron disappears, and Isildur takes the Ring for his own.
The Rings:
(The Rings watch as Isildur rides off with the Ring, is attacked, and falls into the River Anduin – dead)
Look down, look down
You'll always be a slave
Look down, look down
You're standing in your grave.
The Ring slips from Isildur's dead hand, and floats to the bottom of the river Anduin to plot…
The One Ring:
Freedom is mine. The earth is still.
I feel the wind. I breathe again.
And the sky clears
The world is waking.
Drink from the pool. How clean the taste.
Never forget the years, the waste.
Nor forgive them
For what they've done.
They are the guilty - everyone.
The day begins...
And now lets see
What this new world
Will do for me!
A couple of centuries later, the Ring is pulled from the river by a Stoor named Déagol – unfortunately, he is out fishing with his friend Sméagol…
Déagol:
You have to see
I found it in the river bed
Isn't it very lovely?
Good luck follows, I said
Sméagol:
Give it to me, Déagol -
Call it my birthday present!
You're supposed to give people
Stuff on that event!
Déagol:
I already did
Your present you've already seen.
Why should you get more presents
Than honest men like me?
After killing Déagol for the Ring, Sméagol / Gollum takes the Ring deep within the Misty Mountains and sits around with it for another couple of centuries. The Ring begins to decide that maybe this wasn't the best choice of new masters…
The Ring:
Now every door is closed to me
Another jail. Another key. Another chain
For when I try to get away
He grabs me back
And uses me to hunt his prey.
In their eyes I see their fear
`We do not want you here.'
MEANWHILE… Bilbo Baggins and his own fellowship of 13 dwarves and a meddlesome wizard encroach on a Goblin's cave.
The Goblin King:
My rooms are full
And I've no supper to spare
We, as a group, eat strangers
And you happen to be there!
Gandalf:
I will not be eaten
Nor will any of my men!
You think you're all so tough
But Istari do have some ken!
We'll leave this house
Or you'll feel the weight of my rod
We're ready to live long lives
Thanks be to God.
The dwarves and Bilbo run for their lives – the dwarves quickly losing Bilbo in the tunnels.
Bilbo:
And now I know how adventure feels
The goblins always at your heels
It is the quest!
Just for shaking a wizard's hand
And now I'm sent throughout the land
It is the quest!
Like a cur
I walk the street,
The dirt beneath their feet.
The Ring notices Bilbo wandering where it fell away from Gollum.
The Ring:
Grab me, Sir, for you are weary,
And the goblins roam out there.
Though I'm small and may seem humble
Mighty power I have to share.
I'll bring armies to revere you.
I can simply make you strong,
I can give you what you really want -
Revenge for pain, revenge for wrong.
Bilbo:
It promised me my fill
I'd have the lion's share
The Ring thrust in my hand
I shoved in a pocket.
Then I met the creature
That "Gollum" of despair
And yet he trusted me.
The old fool trusted me -
He'd done his bit of good
I played the frightened hobbit
And riddled him like I should
But when Gollum began to rage,
I got up in the night.
Took the Ring
Took my flight!
The Ring safely within his pocket, he runs from Gollum and from the Misty Mountains, finding his companions once more.
Dwalin:
Tell old Thorin what's your story
Balin:
Let us see if he's impressed
Dwalin:
You were hiding with us last night
Balin:
You were part of our mighty quest.
But then, stranger truth than fiction,
When we, from goblins, took our flight
Dwalin:
We couldn't find you
Anywhere afterwards…
Bilbo:
…That is right.
For my friends, you left so quickly
One small hobbit slipped your mind.
You forgot I was with you also
So you left your burglar behind.
But good dwarves, pray do not worry
I escaped the goblin's cave
I even got a present
From a creature most depraved.
Gandalf overhears this, and approaches Bilbo about his magic ring.
Gandalf:
But remember this, Mr. Baggins
See in this some higher plan
You must use this magical ring
To become an honest man
By the witness of the Valar
By old Thorin and that Smaug
The Ring has been raised from darkness
I have bought your soul for God!
Years later, after Bilbo's Farewell Speech at his 111st birthday party, Gandalf approaches him and tells him to let the ring go. Astonishing even himself, Bilbo snaps at him, claiming the ring for his own, then has a moment of thoughtfulness.
Bilbo:
What have I done?
Sweet Jesus, what have I done?
Become a thief in the night,
Become a dog on the run?
And have I fallen so far,
And is the hour so late
That nothing remains but the cry of my hate,
The cries in the dark that nobody hears,
Here where I stand at the turning of the years?
If there's another way to go
I missed it sixty long years ago
It started a war – a friend now a foe
I picked up a Ring and I murdered Bilbo
When it chained me and made myself sold
Just for stealing a handful of gold.
Yet why did I allow that man
To touch my soul and teach me love?
He treated me like any other
He gave me his trust
He called me brother
My life he claims for God above
Can such things be?
For I had come to hate the world
This world that always hated me
Take an eye for an eye!
Turn your heart into stone!
This is all I have lived for!
This is all I have known!
One word from him started the quest
That, long ago, I would've thought a pest
Instead it offered me my freedom -
I feel my shame inside me like a knife
He told me that I had to let it go,
How does he know?
What spirit comes to move my life?
Is there another way to go?
I am reaching, but I fall
And the night is closing in
And I stare into the void
To the whirlpool of my sin
I'll escape now from the world
From the world of the Ring of Doom
Bilbo Baggins is nothing now
Another story must begin!
He throws the One Ring to the floor, and runs out of Bag End.