Fun at the Mansion (A Resident Evil Parody)
Hey guys this is the prologue of my first Resident Evil parody.
Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil or anything associated with Resident Evil.
I really want to know what you think so feel free to tell me anything about what you think about my story, tell me if it should be crazier, or less crazy, etc. Ok, so here you go.
PROLOGUE
July 24 1998 S.T.A.R.S. Headquarters, Raccoon Police Department
Albert Wesker walked down the busy hallways of the RPD, quietly singing to himself,
"I am handsome and I am cool, I've got cool blonde hair that makes Barry Burton drool." Over and over again. He arrived at the door of the S.T.A.R.S. briefing room and opened it. Jill Valentine, Chris Redfield, Barry Burton, Joseph Frost and Brad Vickers were waiting inside.
"So then I was like, 'No Jill, how 'bout YOU go faster?'" exclaimed Joseph, talking to Chris.
Chris laughed quietly as he was used to Joseph lying about his sex life. Jill overheard from across the room and rolled her eyes. She was used to it to.
As they saw Wesker walk to the front of the room they fell silent and focused on him.
Wesker stood still in the front of the room and took his dark glasses off dramatically like David Caruso in CSI Miami.
"Tragic, yet amusing news, team. A short time ago, Bravo Team mysteriously lost contact with us during their investigation into those strange reports of cannibalism in the Arklay mountains. So, we need someone to clean to clean up their mess. Now, naturally, I, being a wonderful team leader have volunteered you all for this extremely deadly assignment, you will all be surely killed, and If you don't, I will be extremely disappointed with all of you. Find out what happened to Bravo team, find out what is causing the horrific deaths of people in that area, and if you have time, pick up my dry cleaning."
Alpha Team exchanged confused and terrified looks, except Chris.
"This'll be FUN!" He shouted. Alpha team turned and stared at him, worried about his mental state.
30 minutes later, Alpha team were flying over Raccoon Forest in their helicopter flown by Brad.
Wesker began quietly singing his song again as Chris kept constantly trying to feel up Jill. Barry looked out the window and saw the fiery wreckage of Bravo Teams helicopter in the middle of a small clearing.
"Look! Bravo Teams helicopter!" Exclaimed Barry. "Brad, land over there!" Shouted Joseph.
Brad landed the helicopter and Alpha team got out. "Brad, why did you have to land so far away from Bravo Teams 'copter?" Said Jill.
After a short walk, Alpha Team started investigating the wreckage of Bravo Teams crashed helicopter. Joseph searched around in the long grass and saw a small figure. He called out and slowly, and dramatically picked up the severed hand of the Bravo Team helicopter pilot. He screamed and dropped it when all of a sudden a growl was heard from behind him. Wesker suddenly put a smile on his face as a ferocious, blood-soaked dog leapt out from behind Joseph and tackled him to the ground, violently shredding his face off.
Several more growls were heard from behind Jill as Wesker started running towards a nearby mansion. Barry soon followed, along with Jill. Meanwhile, Brad Vickers, the ever-so courageous Alpha Team member immediately turned on the helicopter and flew away as soon as he heard the first growl. Chris stayed behind to watch Joseph get mauled to pieces. Jill ran back and grabbed Chris's arm and ran towards the mansion.
When she managed to get to the mansion, which was a difficult endeavour due to Chris constantly screaming "I want to go back, I want to go back!", she saw Barry and Wesker waiting in the huge main hall talking about cupcakes and acting as if they hadn't just been attacked by rabid dogs.