Disclaimer: I don't own the Mentalist or any of its characters or themes….
A/N: this idea hit my while watching Man on Fire… dunno why, but it was just a plot waiting to happen. This is my personal view on the whole series in anyway… so…. ENJOY!
"Why are you still so desperate to get revenge?"
Teresa met Patrick's eyes as she took the seat opposite him. The coffee shop was almost empty, most patron have chosen to leave by ten, right now it was past eleven.
"This isn't revenge," Patrick said, stirring his tea lazily. The line was the exact same one he'd been using for the past three years. Rehearsed. Practiced to perfection.
She took a sip of her cappuccino before answering, "You always say that," she stated tiredly.
"You always ask that," he countered.
"You're always talking about the new…. Moving on… letting go…." She started again. "Can't follow your own advice?".
His eyes narrowed slightly, "It's not the same thing".
"We've met serial killer victim's families before… you always tell them to move on and let go," she reasoned soundly. She'd been ready for his replies.
"Yes, because it wasn't their fault," Patrick said simply.
"So, you still think it's your fault… even after everything?"
"No, I killed them. My actions. My own consequences," he clarified and stirred his tea once more. He tapped the spoon against the edge before setting it down on the saucer.
"You didn't know that he'd -" Lisbon started, but Patrick suddenly started snickering under his breath.
"Each individual is responsible for their own undoing… " he quoted and snickered on as he took a sip of his cooling tea.
The look in his eyes let Lisbon know that it was time to back-off. Any further will only hurt him and have him build more defences…. "Van Pelt is going to her cousin's wedding tomorrow… but she invited all of us to the ceremony, you thinking of going?" Teresa asked, giving Patrick a way out of the current conversation.
He looked up and stared at her for a moment. "Have you ever been in a relationship… and no matter how much they hurt you or took advantage of you … you stay…" Patrick asked and continued only once Teresa's mouth opened to answer. "-you see… It's like relationship had developed its own gravity…".
The flicking of her eyes to the side told him all he had to know. She was clearly thinking back to her time at home, with her father. All the memories. All the pain.
"No matter how bad the relationship is for you… you still find yourself always coming back for more... always returning and carrying on… " Patrick said and finished off his tea with one last gulp. "It's like you find yourself almost seeking it out... ".
She gulped dryly. This conversation had darkened the room. The lights had dimmed. The air had become thick.
"Sure… you try and convince yourself… oh, they just had a bad day, they'll be better tomorrow…. It was my fault, he would've never done that on his own… he only hit me once, he promised he wouldn't do it again… " he listed off and smiled sickly at the mere thought of it.
"You know it's bad for you… you know it's killing you… but no matter how much you want to, you can't let go. You're always drawn towards it," he continued and cleared his throat. "You always find yourself falling towards it… even when you're sure you let go of it".
Teresa shifted uncomfortably in her chair. The hairs on the back of her neck tingled.
"You can't escape gravity… no matter how hard you try," Patrick said and let his eyes wander as he spoke on. "You can run as far as you can… you can jump as high as you can… but you'll always end up right back where you started".
"What…. " she started… but she couldn't make herself complete the sentence. She felt too numb. Too heavy.
Patrick stood up, only to lean back down to Teresa and mutter, "I can't let go of Red John… it's become my gravity".
Thanks for reading! Please drop me a review or message if you liked :D