I do not own Lost, if I did it wouldn't be so mysterious.
Jacob sighed once again; his displeasure at the current situation had been well noted.
Strip poker was just plain awkward with only men and it didn't help that a only underwear clad Ben was giving him, what he hoped wasn't a seductive look, just in case he scooted closer towards Richard who was trying to hide his amused smirk behind the had of cards he occupied.
"How is it that I am half naked and you Richard are only missing your shoes?" Jacob asked smartly.
"I am older tha-"Richard began but was cut off by a haughtily Jacob. "I am older than you, I created you." He responded somewhat bitterly.
"Maybe you just have a horrible poker face." Richard responded with a smirk.
"I think you have a lovely poker face Jacob." Ben responded dreamily, fluttering his eyelashes.
"Thank you Ben, you just made this even more awkward that it already was, I'm out." Jacob announced throwing his cards onto the table in front of them. Richard glanced at them with glee before glancing over to Ben two pair of six's.
"I win." He announced throwing down a full house.
"What a surprise." Jacob muttered crossing his arms and began to pout.
Richard watched this with rolled eyes and Ben just sighed dreamily and attempted to move closer to his idol.
"Let's go get Juliet, she was fun." Jacob announced after a few minutes of sulking.
"Juliet joined the other, others who whine and complain about everything." Ben announced. "So I tied them up, it was only for a little while.
"Don't forget the cages and rock breaking." Richard added thoughtfully. "Oh and kidnapping Claire that didn't end up to well." Richard added in an afterthought.
"Oh how about the t-"Richard began but was stopped by Ben "Alright, whatever Richard, go fix your eyeliner." Ben answered back with a humph.
"I DONT WHERE EYELINER." Richard yelled grumpily before crossing his own arms and settling into a sulk.
"You keep telling yourself that sweetheart." Ben responded with smirk.
Jacob who had been watching the display with an amused expression suddenly turned serious.
"Let's go on a beach trip and get Juliet." He ordered standing up and walking to the door, he turned and discovered Ben standing right behind him.
"Ben" he sighed "Remember our talk about personal space." Jacob asked as if talking to a child. He relaxed as much as one could when Ben Linus was standing behind them, as he shuffled back a few spaces.
"Richard, it was not a request, let's go guyliner."
"I DONT WEAR E-"Richard started to yell.
"We know you don't wear eyeliner" Jacob mimicked "Lets just go, unless you want to invite another to the drinking circle... you know how well that turned out the last time."
Ben and Richard cringed thinking of the last two they had invited into the circle, one had a laugh that was worse than nails on a chalk board, or someone eating with their mouth open. The other they did not discuss, Jacob still woke with nightmares.
"Why don't you just zap her here?" Richard asked lazily.
"Just because I have powers does not mean I have to use them for everything, do you walk up to Smokey and insult him just because you're immortal."
"You're the boss." Richard sighed.
"Damn straight." Jacob smirked.
**
They found themselves standing at the entrance to the beach watching the going's on.
"BEN, PERSONAL SPACE." Jacob whispered loudly.
"My bad." Ben whispered gleefully. Richard sighed, his eyes wandered the camp, he found the blonde he was looking for, she was currently looking board as hell as she talked to the know it all doctor. They watched as the doctor stood and moved away to talk to another.
"PSST JULIET." Ben whispered not gathering a response.
"Juliet." Richard tried a little louder, this time she looked up and checked the surrounding area, not spotting them.
"JULIET." Jacob hollered startling the two as well as Juliet who jumped in surprise before looking around and discovered none of the other, others had taken note of the shout.
"Way to be subtle oh great one." Richard answered sarcastically.
"I worked didn't It." he answered as they watched Juliet carefully walked to greet them.
"What are you dorks doing here." She asked somewhat annoyed at the intrusion.
"We were playing strip poker and it got weird with three guys, you wanna play with us." Jacob asked holding up a bottle of whisky and shaking it seductively, all the while wiggling his eyebrows.
Juliet pursed her lips thoughtfully and tilted her head, eyes following the bottle as it swayed in the leader's hand.
"Come on Juliet, your irreplaceable, the last girl we tried to bring in, well she..." Richards's voice trailed off as she whispered into her ear. Juliet was torn between laughing and giving Jacob a hug.
She sort of did both.
"I don't know." Juliet began glaring at Ben mouthing I. Hate. You to him bitterly, he rolled his eyes and mouth back Like. I. Care.
"Come on Jules, you know you can get Ben back in a game of poker, when he gets trashed we can dare him to do creepy stuff again." Jacob began. Juliet's eyes tuned evil and she smirked.
"Let's do it."
Jack wandered back to the spot where he had left Juliet sitting, instead of finding the blonde he found Kate, who had only just gotten over the shock of seeing a naked Ben doing cartwheels on the beach.
"Kate, you seen Juliet." He asked.
"Nope." She responded. Jack shrugged "Must have gone to bed." he responded
**
"And just where do you think your going goldilocks." A southern drawl asked, he was leaning against a tree, rifle slung around his shoulder causally.
"Deserting, again?" he asked pushing off he tree and walking over to the group.
"Actually, were going to get drunk of name brand alcohol and play strip poker... interested." She asked tilting her head to the side.
Sawyer raised his eyebrow. "You think I'm some southern hick sweetheart, where did you get name..." Sawyer stopped talking and followed the bottle of whisky Jacob had in his hands, it sure as hell looked real.
"This ain't an other trick is it?" Sawyer asked curiously.
"No, we just wanna get drunk and play poker, maybe dare Ben to run around naked again."
"Wait... that was a dare." Sawyer laughed. "Man, Kate was screwed for weeks, she had nightmares and everything." He laughed and Ben huffed.
"What do you say James, you interested?" Juliet asked.
"Hell yeah, I haven't had a good drink since I got on that damn plane." He announced.
"Lead the way pasty." He said looking over to Ben who humphed and glared.
"It's a tropical island man, get some sun." Richard responded "Even Jacob has a tan and he hardly ever leaves the temple." Richard said and Jacob nodded.
"Maybe it would help with your sociopath issues if you got a couple of hours of sun a day." Jacob answered helpfully. Juliet nodded, Sawyer laughed.
Ben grumbled something that nobody could hear.
"Let's go losers, were losing night light." Richard responded and the foursome walked off in search of booze and cards.
***
"Who ever thought inviting the con man to a game of strip poker was a good Idea, raise your hand." Jacob glared and roughly yanked off another shirt, his third. He was just a cheater.
Richard had lost his usual blue button up shirt and was currently sitting in the circle wearing only his shoes, socks and boxers, Juliet fairing a lot better had an singlet shirt and underwear. Ben had removed his clothes willingly after the third had and was now sitting next to Jacob dreamily. Jacob himself seemed to have a never ending amount of clothing, she was sure he should have been out around two hands ago, never the less he sat wearing an shirt, in lieu of his usual tunic, underwear and his shoes.
Sawyer however was sitting fully clothed smirking to himself. The aim of this game was to take a shot the remove a layer of clothing, if you could not take the shot, it was two layers.
Juliet sighed throwing down her hand the men in the circle watched with agape mouths as the waited to see what she would remove next.
A course of boos and teases followed when she removed her final shoe.
"Tease." Sawyer muttered.
Juliet offered a wink as he shuffled the cards once again.
She silently picked up her cards and placed them in the order she deemed acceptable, throwing two down to change, she placed the cards in order and looked around the group to judge their responses.
It had taken a while, not to mention three items of major clothing to figure Sawyers tell, when he had a good hand, he would tilt his head ever so slightly to the left, a bad hand and he would remain straight as a rod. Richard was harder but when he had a bad hand his eyes would flash for a split second, you had to look at him at exactly the right time to get it.
She smirked to herself and waited, it was going to be a good night.
Half an hour later, Sawyer was sitting in nothing but his boxers, Richard and lost his clothes two hands ago and Jacob had been disqualified for cheating, to which he returned to the corner to sulk while Ben tried to comfort him.
"How the hell did this come about?" Sawyer asked as Juliet said in the same clothing as before, this time a proud smirk was placed firmly on her face.
"Trade Secrets James keeps up, now show them." She demanded she laughed in glee as Sawyer laid down his cards.
"Oh James, strip them." She laughed her eyes drifting down to his boxers happily.
Sawyer grumbled to himself as he slid out of his boxers and threw them into Juliet's waiting hands, she had quite a collection now.
"Okay, this game has taken a turn, let's mess with Ben." Jacob said evilly rubbing his hands together and looking and the sleeping Ben.
The four grin evilly and turn to the drunken man Juliet frowned.
"Why is it that every time we drink Its Ben who is always naked." She asked watching the naked man curiously.
"I don know." Jacob shrugged, "Daddy issues?" he offered helpfully the remaining three nodded in understanding.
"Hey I have an Idea." Richard grinned happily.
"You know how..."
***
"I'm not really sure I'm comfortable with this." Sawyer muttered to himself as he watched Jacob and Richard hold back a drunk and giggling Ben.
"Don't be such a baby James Ford, if you wimp out of us, I will smite you... I can do that you know." Jacob said with a grunt trying to hold back the drunk naked man.
Sawyer looked at him confused. "Who are you." He asked finally.
"I'm Jacob." He said simply before turning back to Ben.
"Okay Ben, do you have your mission." Jacob asked Ben nodded dumbly "you have pretty eyes." He answered in response, Jacob sighed. "Great, he's being weird again."
"Okay Ben, go." Jacob answered as they let him go, they watched as Ben ran through the Others, others camp once again, screams of horror and disgust were heard.
Ben had a mission, cart wheeling along the way he found himself in Kate's tent, he smiled happily.
"Hello Kate." He laughed manically before dancing a little jig, similar to a hoedown, insuring maximum movement in the correct regions, he made sure, as per Jacob request threw in a few hip thrusts for effect.
The woman in question seemed to have some sort of breakdown at the sight. She curled into a bowl and began rocking back and forth, "Mommy." She said over and over.
Ben rolled his eyes at her dramatics. "Oh Kate." He said with a sigh. "Your such a baby." He said throwing one more hip thrust in her direction, he whooped and ran out of the tent with an manic, deciding to spice it up a little Ben threw in a few spits of the beach followed by a few cartwheels then a handstand. Before running back to his 'friends'.
***
Charlie looked over to Claire who was covering Aaron's eyes, but watching the retreating man.
"Wasn't that the guy who kidnapped Jack, Kate and Sawyer a while ago." He asked.
"Probably." Claire responded. Charlie hummed. He waited a beat before asked "Why was he running around our camp naked."
"I don't know, by you gotta admire his style, those cartwheels were perfect."
Charlie nodded dumbly "are you as turned on as I am." He asked.
"God yes, SUN WATCH AARON." She yelled grabbing Charlie's shirt and pulling a goofy looking Charlie into the tent.
***
The group wandered back to the poker table and proceeded to do shots until the return of their naked leader. "How did it go." Juliet asked sliding a shot over to Ben.
"I think I may have scared young Kate for life." He responded downing the shot in one go, then smiled goofily, the drink falling out of mouth before he collapsed on the table and began to snore... loudly.
"Lightweight." Juliet snorted.
"You can talk." Richard responded. "Were not all as old as you old man." Juliet responded and slid a shot in his direction.
A clear challenge.
He took it, pour another slid it over to Juliet who downed hers.
She slid him another.
This went on for quite some time until Juliet was nothing more than a giggling mess who had crumbled on the floor and was laughing as she attempted to arrange Jacob who had fallen asleep and Ben into inappropriate positions. She snorted to herself and admired her work.
She wished she could be here in the morning.
"Come on James, It is best we make an appearance before we are missed." Juliet sighed before taking a camera a slightly tipsy Richard handed her she snapped the shot and smiled gleefully. "I want a copy of that."
"You guys are weird." Sawyer responded on the walk/Swayed back to camp.
Juliet giggled "Were dysfunctional." She said before turning to Sawyer.
"You have a pretty accent." She giggled as Sawyer rolled his eyes. He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder picking up some pace.
"And a nice ass." Juliet murmured before slapping it and giggling.
"Great, a happy drunk." Sawyer responded but couldn't help but check out the rear end of Juliet out of the corner of his eye.
"For an other... not bad". He murmured.
***
Jacob woke with a splitting headache, he groaned and attempted to stand up but found his weighed down by an arm... a pale, male arm.
Taking in his surroundings he found an empty poker table and clothes scattered everywhere.
He also became aware of the hand on his ass.
He opened his eyes and slowly looked up to the face of the person he was sleeping with.
He screamed.
His scream woke Ben, who did not seem to mind the situation they were in.
"Good morning Jacob." He grinned, the evil eye poppy grin that really made Jacob want to hick a ride off the island and forget he ever met a man named Ben Linus.
He disappeared quickly in front of Ben's eyes, he just grinned.
"So mysterious."
I hope you liked that sequel, I'm not sure about it but I'm thinking of another one. The Losties revenge.