A/N: Don't pretend you weren't thinking about this after Beginnings came out two years ago. All characters belong to Michael and Bryke. I own nothing.
~Q~
The sky had already gone dark hours ago, the barest hint of red and gold on the horizon the only sign that the peaceful painting of stars was going to be disrupted in only a matter of hours by a meteor that would literally signal the end of the world.
Though this detail was mostly invisible through the surprisingly thick swath of trees across the island, it could still be seen if one really focused.
And focusing was the last thing on Aang's mind at the moment.
Bare feet paced restlessly across patterned stone shaped like an octagon, the quiet patter of flesh on rock the only noise to be heard in the vicinity, all of the sounds of nature from the surrounding forest having faded out, as if the entire island and all of its inhabitants were now holding their breath in trepidation.
The bare feet, both bearing matching arrow tattoos, spun and continued their circuit across the strange non-earth, the young Airbender attached to them twiddling his fingers nervously, grey eyes fixed unseeingly on the ground.
"I don't know if I can do this Momo," he admitted slowly, gaze darting to the winged lemur silently perched on a boulder just outside of the spirit-world-octagon-thing, watching with large, uncomprehending eyes as his master threw his hands up above his head in frustration.
"I mean, he's evil, but he's a person. He is a living human being. Yes, he's the Fire Lord; yes, he's a psychopath that's leading an army of near-invincible Firebenders with a super-comet on a mission to destroy the world, but he's still a person! I can't just-!" he paused his rant, gesturing helplessly with his arms spread wide, unable to correctly articulate his inner turmoil.
It was just so wrong.
Just the thought of having to kill a person…
Avatar he might be, but such an insanely huge violation of his beliefs – let alone what remained of his childish innocence – made Aang sick to his stomach.
So sick, in fact, he actually hunched forward with a hand over his mouth, positive he was about to empty his stomach everywhere (not that there was anything in there to begin with. Katara had been thoughtful in making him dinner, but he just couldn't bring himself to eat). Fortunately (or unfortunately), the nausea was almost immediately swept away in favor of the near mind-numbing terror that had been fighting for control of him for days now.
Momo chittered quietly in concern as the last Airbender tilted his head upward to look at the stars above them, eyes bright with badly suppressed tears.
"I can't just take someone's life away," Aang whispered. His voice was wobbly and broke on the last word, which seemed to be all the prompting he needed as tears started falling down his cheeks, body starting to shake violently.
It wasn't fair.
Ozai was a terrible human being.
He had continued his grandfather's treacherous war in an insane bid for world domination.
He had killed thousands, possibly millions of people to achieve this goal.
He had burned his own son's face just for talking out of turn (and no matter what Aang had thought of him in the past, Zuko had more than proven himself a good and reliable friend and ally and he didn't deserve that; nobody deserved to have their father scar them for life).
Fire Lord Ozai did not deserve to live.
And if Aang foolishly (selfishly) allowed him to, the madman would not allow him the same mercy.
This was an irrefutable fact.
But…
"All life is sacred."
The memory of Gyatso telling him this for the first time (he'd been four at the time, happily moving random Pai Sho tiles across the board) had stuck with him even to this day, and no matter what atrocities he had born witness to, Aang had believed him without a doubt.
And now he was going to have to go against that philosophy.
Because he was the Avatar. The Avatar couldn't afford to let people live just because they didn't believe in killing. Even Yangchen, an Airbender like Aang, had agreed to the sentiment.
But this wasn't just about philosophy anymore.
This was about a kid just a week shy of thirteen killing a man in cold blood.
A wave of dizziness hit him so hard he collapsed directly to his knees, shaking only intensifying as something close to a dying animal's last cries rose out of his throat. His hands came up to cover his eyes as sobs escaped him, making his body jerk even more.
He couldn't do it.
But he had to.
He was the Avatar and it didn't matter what he wanted; he had to put the world in front of everything. He had to become a killer. He had to give up Katara. He couldn't be a kid even if he still was one in age and maturity.
There was no way to tell how long he remained like that, curled tightly into a ball with his forehead touching the ground as his hands rubbed futilely at his eyes and his shoulders shook with the force of his sobbing (and wasn't that just so typical; him crying before the most important battle of his life. If Toph or Zuko could see him they'd both think he was utterly pathetic. How could anyone think he was the Avatar?).
A feather-light touch on his right shoulder alerted him to a presence beside him.
"Not now Momo," Aang moaned, hiccupping slightly and curling into an even tighter ball, "I don't have any food. I just want to be left alone."
"But you called me here," a voice said quietly.
Aang jerked dramatically at the unfamiliar sound, survival instincts still able to kick in even when he was severely depressed. He frantically scrambled forward several feet before whipping around to stare, hands lifting into a defensive stance even though he already knew bending while on this bizarre stone was impossible.
"Easy there short stuff. We can't afford to have you hurt yourself today," the voice said, still quiet, but with a gentle teasing lilt to it this time. The voice (it was light and friendly, though there was an undercurrent of sadness in it too) belonged to a blue, transparent young man sitting just behind where Aang had been a few moments previous.
The guy couldn't have been any older than twenty, with long, windblown hair and a small chin beard that any other time Aang would have inspected with great curiosity. His clothing was of a design Aang didn't really recognize, though it was a bit tattered. He had a small, sad smile on his face, eyebrows drawn together over his eyes in sympathy as he looked at the young Airbender in front of him. Any other major details were lost due to the fact that he was a shimmery blue spirit, so Aang couldn't really see color on him.
"Rough day, huh?" the man asked sadly, eyes taking in Aang's disheveled appearance.
Aang stared blankly for a moment. 'This is one of your past lives,' a part of his brain supplied. It was obvious – he could only contact the past Avatars indirectly like this, after all – and frankly, Aang didn't really have it in him to be surprised anymore. He was too exhausted, both emotionally and physically, to freak out any more than he already had.
"You have no idea," he sighed, slumping forward slightly in his seated position to rest his elbows on his knees and scrubbed his hands across his face again, wiping away the tear tracks though he knew it wouldn't do any good in the long run.
"You're right, I don't," the guy said lightly, a slight grimace crossing his face.
Aang looked up at him, baffled. "You mean don't know what's happening?" he asked in confusion. That was weird; all of the other Avatars he'd met had all seemed at least half-aware of his predicament.
The older male rolled his shoulders back, looking at the forest around them thoughtfully as he said, "I haven't been keeping track of the more recent goings-on. I guess you could say I'm a bit… farther down the chain than Roku and the others, so I don't get called on very often. I haven't really interacted with the material world for a really long time. But…" he shrugged, this time his eyes drifting to the ground as he admitted, "I heard you crying, and well… if none of the others were going to step up and help you, I thought I may as well see what's wrong."
"You heard me?" Aang asked, entire face flushing in mortification. It was bad enough he was having a breakdown at all; having someone be aware of it was embarrassing.
The other Avatar nodded, though he lifted a placating hand to the Airbender with a slight grin. "Don't worry; I'm the only one that noticed. This stone-" he tapped it with his fist "- is full of incredibly potent spiritual energy, which is why you were able to chat with Roku and Kyoshi and the others so easily. However, I also happen to be connected to this place, so I could hear you calling for help loud and clear, no matter how far down the line I was.
"So," he concluded, redirecting his eyes to stare directly at him, "How can I help you?"
Aang really wanted to question this guy about what the heck he was talking about, but he decided to file it away under 'weird spiritual stuff' for later perusal.
"Um, okay. Well… I am looking for help, but… it's kind of a long story. Like, a reeeaaalllyyy long story," he muttered slowly, still a bit pink from earlier and looking awkwardly over the guy's shoulder.
The other Avatar just smiled at him encouragingly, leaning forward to mimic his position near flawlessly. "Talk to me. What's the problem? And I demand details," he ordered plainly, pointing a finger at him as if to warn him not to skip.
And thus, the floodgates were opened.
There wasn't really enough time to go into detail on most of his adventures, but he gave a pretty fantastic overview of what his life had become since he awoke from the iceberg nearly a year ago:
Meeting Katara and Sokka, escaping Zuko at the South Pole, discovering the genocide of the Air Nomads, Kyoshi Island, evading both Zuko and Zhao, meeting Roku on the Solstice, the North Pole and spirit-fusing with the Ocean Spirit (which the other Avatar seemed especially interested in, but stopped asking about to ensure Aang kept talking about the important stuff), Omashu, meeting Toph, Zuko's psycho-sister Azula and her posse of femme fatales, Ba Sing Se, the lightning bolt in his back (this made them both wince in pain), traveling through the Fire Nation, the Eclipse Invasion disaster, teaming up with Zuko, the Sun Warriors, the comet and Ozai's plan to destroy the Earth Kingdom in one fell swoop.
The elder Avatar was silent throughout most of his tale, eyes narrowed in contemplation even as Aang finished with a stuttered, "I just- I can't kill him. I know he shouldn't be allowed to live after everything, and I know I'm the Avatar and I need to restore peace and balance in the world, but I just can't. And Roku and Yangchen and all the others said I have to do it, stop Ozai once and for all, and I always planned on stopping him, I just never planned on-" he flapped his hands uselessly "Killing him. I mean, yes, of course I'll stop him, but everyone's insisting that it won't end at that, and I know, but I-"
"Aang!" he was interrupted sharply.
The young monk's voice died midsentence with his jaw still hanging open, eyes focusing on his older counterpart in surprise. After a second he realized his cheeks were wet again, and with a flash of humiliation realized somewhere in the middle of his rant he'd started crying. Again. Way to go, hero.
"Take a few deep breaths," the elder suggested gently, looking very much like he was torn between comforting Aang and going off to find Ozai himself.
The Airbender did as he said, inhaling deeply through his nose and exhaling through his mouth, unconsciously allowing himself to relax into his usual meditation pose without even realizing as he continued to breath, allowing his mind to calm.
The other Avatar allowed him the break, leaning back with crossed arms and staring at the sky above them pensively, which still held only the barest hints of gold and red on the horizon.
There were a few moments of relative silence with one Avatar working to calm his nerves while the other remained silent, lost in thought for quite a while.
"…Well?" Aang asked nervously after he'd regained his composure, self-consciously swiping at his cheeks again to rid them of as much evidence as possible. He felt a bit weird, having told him all this; he didn't know this Avatar like he knew Roku and the others; heck, he didn't even know this one's name!
'You can trust him,' a part of him assured softly, which only made him want to raise a skeptical eyebrow and say, "Yeah, I bet he's not suspicious at all!" in his best Sokka impression.
"That is quite the predicament you've gotten yourself into, Aang," the elder admitted calmly, reaching up with his left hand to absently tug at his bearded chin. After only one tug he glanced down at it, seemingly surprised to see it so short, before rolling his eyes and refocusing on the last Airbender, who was fidgeting not-so-subtly.
"What do you think I should do?" Aang asked, carefull trying not to let his desperation shine through even though he knew crying twice certainly wasn't going to make that easy.
"Back when I first got my Firebending," the spirit continued, seeming not to hear the question, "I led my friends on a raid of our lord's storehouse because he was hoarding food instead of sharing it with the people of the city as he should have. During the raid, one of the lord's sons managed to get me from behind. I lashed out. For a moment there, I had him at my mercy; I could have killed him, probably overpowered the rest of the army. If I had, I could have taken control of the whole city, ruled it as I saw fit, lived in the lap of luxury to a ripe old age and never have to worry about me or my friends starving ever again. And while I wasn't exactly thinking that far ahead, I'll admit I did consider doing it for a moment."
Aang leaned back slightly, eyes wide and a bit horrified. He'd never heard of another Avatar actually wanting to kill someone before. The thought that he – in another life or not – had actually thought willingly about committing murder made him even more queasy than before.
"But I didn't kill him," the elder stated firmly, surprising the monk, "He looked me in the eye. He recognized me – I used to steal from him and his older brothers on a weekly basis – and the look on his face-" he paused, wordless. Shook his head slowly "-I just couldn't do it. I'd hated him and his pompous, self-righteous family for years, but… We weren't a couple of life-long enemies coming together on a battlefield for one last glorious battle like in the old children's tales; at that moment, I wasn't any better than him and his father, who were withholding food from an entire city just because he was too arrogant and selfish to realize people were starving. I was just a bully, using my superior powers to beat down those weaker than me."
Aang had to consciously close his mouth, though he could feel his lips twitching at the corners, wanting to go into his favorite wide half-grin; he was glad he hadn't senselessly murdered some innocent in a past life. And this particular past life of his seemed like a pretty great guy, all things considered.
He waited (a tad bit eagerly) for the story to continue, but the other Avatar seemed lost in memories of the far past, staring off into the forest around them curiously as if just realizing it was there.
"Sooo…. What happened after that?" Aang asked, attempting to sound nonchalant. Attempting being the key word here.
The elder refocused on him abruptly. "Hmm? Oh, I got captured by the lord's men and was banished to the Spirit Wilds outside our city. Nobody had ever survived out there before, but anything's possible for the Avatar. It's a pretty long story," he interjected at Aang's confused look, "Longer than yours, in fact. But in the end I survived and met the greatest life-long companion anyone could ever ask for. Sparing that kid's life and getting banished turned out to be the best thing that I have ever done, because if I hadn't, I could have saved myself a lot of pain and heartache, but I never would have met my best friend."
He paused; eyes wistful as they slowly inched toward the sky above them again, a nostalgic (and familiar) crooked half-grin on his face.
After a moment, he seemed to regain control of himself, shaking his head and redirecting a much more serious gaze on Aang. "Our situations aren't even remotely similar, and I'm not going to pretend to know everything and tell you exactly what you need to do, but if there truly is no other way to defeat the Fire Lord, you might have to do the deed. Just know that there is always another option, and even if it means a lot of pain, it's still possible for the Avatar; you just need to figure out how to use that option without dying first."
Aang felt his brow furrow, a wave of relief and consternation battling for dominance inside him. "No advice on how I get option B?" he asked half-seriously. He was so glad that someone was saying he didn't have to kill Ozai, but without any new idea on him to defeat him and let him live…
The sympathetic smile was back on his face, but Aang didn't mind. "Not really, sorry. I'm not from this time period, so there might be something I'm not aware of, but to my knowledge there's not much. Just believe in yourself, Aang; you can do it."
"You really think so?" the monk asked, eyes wide and shining – this time not with tears, thankfully.
"I don't see why not. I faced an infinitely more impossible situation with the most unlikely odds, and I still managed to save the world. I don't doubt that one of my reincarnations can pull off the impossible too," the ethereal Avatar stated firmly, grinning cheekily and winking at the Airbender confidently.
Aang slumped over dramatically, sighing loudly.
"Sorry I can't offer any real advice on how to beat him," the other offered, sobering quickly.
Aang's head shot up with a crooked grin and a breathless laugh. "Oh no, that's fine! I can't expect you to solve all of my problems! I'll figure something out. I'm just so glad there's someone who actually believes I can finish this war without killing Ozai; even my friends thought I would!" he exclaimed, still a bit shaky but much steadier than he'd thought he'd be.
After days of being told he'd have to become a murderer, it was greatly refreshing to meet someone who believed he could do things his own way.
"Glad to be of service, Avatar Aang," the other offered, dipping his head in a respectful bow.
Aang sobered at that, jumping to his feet and placing palm against fist and bowing deeply at the waist. "You really have no idea how much that helped me. Thank you," he stated solemnly.
The elder waved a hand flippantly. "Now, now, no need to act so formal. Giving advice is just something us Avatars do for each other," he said laughingly.
"Still, thanks. It means a lot," Aang repeated, insistent. He actually did feel a lot better now; getting the entire story off his chest and having someone reassure him was greatly satisfying.
"You're welcome. Now, you might want to get some rest; that comet is getting close, and we can't risk you collapsing on the battlefield just as you're about to beat the Fire Lord into next week!" the elder ordered, pointing at the Airbender forcefully and making him lean back despite the ample distance between them.
"Uh, I would, but I should be finding my way off this island. I don't know how I got here, but I need to find Ozai and his fleet," Aang was reluctant even as he said it; sleep was a very tempting prospect right about now, but, as always, duty calls.
The older Avatar just shot him that familiar, quirky half-grin. "You'll get there just fine; trust me, stay here, and you'll be there just in time," he assured him knowingly.
Aang raised an eyebrow at him, but when the mock innocent look didn't dissipate he just sighed gustily. "Alright, I guess if I've believed your advice until now, I may as well trust you on this as well," he muttered, allowing himself to float to the ground once again.
The elder laughed lightly. "Glad to know you trust me!" he said, tone only a little sarcastic.
Aang mock glared back at him. "Don't blame me! You might be one of my past lives, but even I have trouble trusting people who don't even tell me their name!" he said reproachfully.
The older Avatar blinked, actually looking surprised for a moment. A small, bittersweet smile lifted the corners of his mouth slightly as he looked down, arms crossed over his chest again.
"Oh. I guess it's not really a surprise that you don't know who I am. My name passed out of the living world's memory a little over seven thousand years ago. My name," he said, raising his eyes to meet Aang's, "is Wan. And I was the first Avatar."
Aang's mind stuttered to a halt. 'Wait, what?!'
With this declaration, his unearthly body began to dissipate rapidly, like morning fog touched by sunlight.
Aang, who had been completely floored by his statement, jerked forward as if he could catch the wraith-like mist before it could evaporate.
"Whoa, wait! You can't just say something like that and disappear! I have questions now, you jerk!" he yelped, voice an octave higher than normal.
The first Avatar?!What the-?!
"You know my name now; you can summon me to chat at any time. After you beat Ozai," the elder Avatar, Wan, the first Avatar's voice said, amused and confident at the same time.
The mist disappeared a second later, leaving the young monk alone on the spirit-stone.
Aang stared blankly at the spot Wan had just vacated, mouth slack and arm still extended uselessly. 'What the flameo just happened?' he thought, shellshocked.
A warm presence landed on his shoulder once again and he spun, half expecting the pale-blue transparent hand that had been there nearly an hour earlier. Instead, Momo's familiar chattery voice filled his ear as the lemur rubbed his head against his master's face.
With a startled, joyful laugh, Aang quickly scooped the winged creature off his shoulder to hold him up at arm's length, mouth already lifting into the crooked half-grin (a trademark sign of every young Avatar).
"Don't worry, Momo!" he said happily. "I'm not sad anymore. I might not have a plan," he pulled the lemur into a crushing hug, giggling as the poor animal futilely struggled to escape, "But that doesn't matter! There are always two choices; it's my decision whether to kill Ozai or not, and I'll be able to find a way to go with option B! Because anything's possible for the Avatar if they really set their mind to it!"
Aang flopped backwards onto the stone, still giddy even as Momo quickly fluttered away in retreat.
There was still some time left before the comet got here.
He didn't have any idea on how to defeat Ozai and let him live all at once, but it didn't matter.
The Avatar could pull off the impossible.
And, more importantly, someone actually believed he could do it.
"Thanks for the advice, Wan," he muttered, still grinning. "Even if it didn't involve an actual plan."
He could hear the older Avatar rolling his eyes. "You're welcome, kid. Now shut up and get some sleep."
~Q~
A/N: Ending is a bit abrupt, but I kind of didn't know how to end it, so… there you go. I don't know where this came from; I was just sitting in government class, got bored, started thinking of Avatar stuff… and this is the result. Please leave a review if you enjoyed!
~Persephone