Hey y'all, my first Jerry/Elaine fic--hope it's not too cheesy....You gotta know that it's not gonna be exactly like a Seinfeld episode, 'cuz you gotta allow for a little seriousness, but I've done my best. Go to the next chapter for the two alternate endings. I appreciate constructive criticism but please no flames. Enjoy and please please please review!!
Jerry and Elaine lay in the wide bed, more comfortable than they would have thought, staring at the ceiling. It was the second time they were coming to visit Jerry's parents, and this time Elaine really wanted to go scuba-diving. Additional to that fact, she was adamant in that she would not under any circumstances sleep on that goddamned pull-out bed anymore. Jerry, too, had been stubborn, and so they decided that they would sleep in the same bed; they'd done it before, and finally following all of Jerry's obligatory vulgar jokes, they would do it again.
They two had realized, as they climbed into bed together, that the arrangement was really not as awkward as they'd expected. They switched off the light and started the night off with games like would you rather and marry/bop/kill. Jerry remarked that they were like two school-girls having a slumber party, and that he was feeling more gay than was comfortable. This led Elaine to reminisce about "not that there's anything wrong with that!" and the time George had dated the woman who looked exactly like Jerry...
Jerry joked completely comfortably that the last time they were in this position, Elaine had been very aware of his heterosexuality (this was the result of him having eaten a quite powerful mango; A/N: Is it just me who wonders what happened after the end of that episode??).Elaine laughed and fell silent.
Outside she heard a trian whistle sound, long and low and wistful. She remembered her childhood, remembered laying in bed and listening to that whistle in Baltimore, dreaming that someday she would take a train away from home, far away and never come back.
This made her wonder. She felt silly asking, but the combination of the moonlight and the thick Florida air and the fact that he couldn't see her face made it much easier.
"Jerry," she began in a tentative tone.
"Hm."
"Have you ever..." She shifted her position so her elbows were under her head. "...you know, had any...deep thoughts?"
Jerry chuckled, puzzled. "Deep thoughts? What do you mean?"
"You know, like...Do you ever hear a train whistle and wonder where it's going, where it's been...?" Her voice was soft and dreamy, unlike the way he usually heard her speak. She let the words hang in the air for a moment; she liked the way they sounded.
Until Jerry snorted. "Well...no."
Elaine blushed. "Never mind, you shallow idiot," she said laughingly.
Jerry stopped his laughter for a minute. "No, no, wait, I get you," he said. Then he, too, turned slightly red, remembering. "I--" he started, then stopped, then sighed. "Never mind," he hastily said.
"No, no, no, tell me!" Elaine squealed, clearly enjoying his embarrassment.
"No, it's stupid."
"Say it! Say it!"
"No really, I can't."
"C'mon, Jerry, I told you mine." She kept her body facing upward, but turned her head a little to look at him. Then she thought that he would probably feel more comfortable if she wasn't looking at him at all, so she gazed back at the ceiling.
He sighed. "All right," he said. He hesitated, then began. "It was while we were dating," he said slowly. He remembered it pretty clearly, but it'd been a while since he thought about this kind of stuff; he was Jerry Seinfeld, practically the coiner of the phrase 'That's a shame.' "We were in Costa Rica on vacation."
"Oh, yeah! I remember. That was a blast. Other than when you thought that girlfriend of yours had fake boobs and then she found out--"
"Let's not talk about that." Jerry cleared his throat, then continued. "We'd just gone to that big, fancy, dinner party that night and you'd primped and brushed and teased and sprayed your hair till we were both high on the fumes."
"Ha!"
"The party was a bore, but then we came home and ate cereal in bed and watched Die Hard."
"Ah, you always did love how I hated rom-coms."
"Yes, it was quite the good girlfriend-ly asset." Jerry smiled. "Anyway, we went to sleep--"
"--we were always the perfect compatibility for spooning, weren't we?" Elaine interrupted casually.
"Yeah, it's really quite a shame that platonic friends can't spoon," Jerry joked.
"Yes, quite. You think George is about my size? You two could really go at it."
They both laughed.
"So anyway," Jerry continued. "The next morning I woke up before you, and, well...I've never told this to you before."
"Oh, God, what did you do?" Elaine pressed, mortified.
"No! No, no, no!" Jerry said. "It's just...well...it's really stupid, but...the way the sun was coming through the blinds in bright, dusty streaks, it hit your hair in this weird way."
"Oh, that's just so nice of you, Jer."
"No, I mean, weird in a good way....A perfect way." By this time both parties were silent. "And your hair was floating around your head in a crazy, messy halo, which you would've died if you'd seen---"
"--Well, thank you."
"--but for some reason it was just sorta perfect. It was shiny and silky dark and it smelled like strawberries--"
"--Still haven't heard any deep thoughts, Jerry," Elaine commented.
"It's comin', Lainey." He laughed. "And I just--touched your hair. And fiddled it around my finger and stuff while you were still asleep. And..." He paused. "...and I just wondered if I was gonna get to play with this hair for the rest of my life."
There was silence for a moment while they both contemplated the words that had just been spoken. Jerry thought to himself that it was pretty damn good.
"Wow," said Elaine slowly. "...That was lame."
"What?! I thought it was deep!"
"Oh yeah, you're a modern-day Confucius, Jer." They both laughed good-naturedly. There wasn't a trace of awkwardness in Jerry's next words.
"You know, I would've missed that."
"What, playing with my hair? Hate to remind you, honey, but you still don't get to do that anymore, and no way are you gonna get to!" Elaine warned.
"No, no, that's very clear. I'm talking about laughing with you. Your laugh."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I'm glad we stayed friends so I could hear that. 'Cause really, Lainey, your laugh is exquisite," Jerry remarked in his best British accent (it wasn't very good).
"Why, thank you," Elaine responded in her best Katherine Hepburn impression (it wasn't that good, either).
Pause.
"You know, about the hair," Jerry started.
"Oh, so now we're back to the hair?"
"Shut up. I'm saying, there's a lot of things I definitely don't miss about our relationship." Jerry used hand gestures to narrate his next points. "The fighting, the yelling, your hideous, germy old slippers, your controlling habits, your bipolar-ness--"
"Oh, do go on."
"--but! I would've missed your laugh, if we hadn't've stayed friends." Jerry thought about this for a second. He wondered if, as a comedian, he noticed a good laugh, savored it and picked it out of a crowd. Or if it was just...Elaine. "And I miss eating cereal in bed together."
"Ah, yes, your cereal fetish." Elaine remembered finding a certain comfort in waking in the morning to the smell of his clean bed sheets (he was kind of a neat freak) and hearing him shuffle around in the kitchen. She would keep her eyes closed and only open them again when she knew he would be standing right above her, his hair mussed up and two bowls of cereal in his hand (Apple Jacks for her--he knew they were her favorite).
'And, well, you know the other thing I miss," Jerry said, his voice dripping suggestively. Elaine mashed her hand against his face scoldingly and rolled her eyes.
"And the hair. I miss the hair."
Pause for thinking.
"So those are my deep thoughts. Your turn."
"What?!"
"Tell me what you miss about me!"
"You're right here!"
"No, I mean about us."
At the word 'us' the first ounce of tension was present. For a moment, they let it float around their ears and echo in their brains before they silently succumbed.
"I miss the spooning. We were so compatible! I mean, even with all your crap, like your neat-freakiness, and the way you wanted to keep your sneakers on while we were having sex, and your petty indifference--"
"Oh, stop it, I'm flattered."
"--It was worth it, at least for that moment. Because it's just kinda sad, you know, that even if I fall in love with my dream guy I'll never find a better spooning partner."
"So true. Only one of those comes along in a lifetime."
They laughed together, just Jerry and Elaine and nothing more, nothing less. And for the first time that night, in mid-laughter they turned to glance at one another. The smiles froze on their faces.
It happened quickly. Jerry leaned in in one swift motion until the skin between their noses and lips were touching.
"J-Jerry," Elaine whispered, her emotions on a roller coaster eventually bound to crash..."What are you doing?"
He hesitated, unsure of what to do or say. He had meant to kiss her, or maybe he hadn't, but somehow he had ended up in this position and now he was clueless. "I call it," he whispered, "very...close...talking." (A/N: Stole that from Psych! LOL!)
"Oh. That makes sense."
...
...
"Jerry...Are you going to kiss me?"
"I think that's the message my brain is trying to send. It didn't quite get through. You know me."
...
...
"If we kiss, it's only for one night. And we won't have sex, because, you know, that complicates things."
"Yeah. You remember last time..."
Elaine shuddered. "Anyway, we will kiss. And when morning comes, WHISH! It's all gone."
"No cereal."
"No cereal."
He kissed her then, and both brains just about exploded.
During the bittersweet, lengthy kiss, Elaine thought about this moment in the dark, the dark which masked her, masked him and their kiss. How with the sweeping morning rays of light came a sadness, an end to something that could only last so long, like a seed stomped on before it got the chance to grow. And in a moment where they broke apart, heaving breaths, she looked at his confused but sadly joyous face and suddenly the wistfulness of the moment all came crashing towards her. Two friends who had been together, wanted each other for so long, one night together which would only fade like dust in the wind when morning came. It wasn't real. There was nothing she could do to make it real. In the morning it would all be a dream. She knew this was true.
But she could say one thing, even though she was afraid it would disintegrate as soon as it reached the air, like ink in a journal washed away in the rain.
"I love you," she heaved breathily. It just slipped out.
"I love you, too," Jerry said, and kissed her, though it would all be a dream in the morning.
And yet Jerry knew that he would not forget this kiss, could not forget. It was something he would remember; it would be etched deep into his mind like a stone across centuries. The force that kept them apart was intangible; he couldn't see it but he could feel it, thick like butter around them. He didn't know why it was there, only that it was. He only knew that it was her he would want most for the rest of his life, and that was what kept him from her, for time and all eternity.
See the next chapter for the two alternate endings! One for those who like a wistful one and one for others who like Disney happy endings (like me!) Review pleeease!