Title: Secret Rooms and Exploding Griffindors
All Characters belonging to J.K
Thank you muchly to Miss Prongs for being my beta for the 1st few chapters also thank you to smarmypenguin for seting it up when my incompentant self couldnt
Chapter One: A One Night Stand
Draco Malfoy was currently dreaming. He was slipping through bright colors; the only one he could focus on was green. His dreams seemed happy, soft. But at some point he vaguely came into consciousness. He snuggled into the black duvet and stretched his lean legs out. His leg brushed something and the cheap smell of tacky perfume invaded his nostrils, but he ignored it. He couldn't ignore the odd sensation of his hair being tugged for much longer, though.
He tried to focus. Was that a hand? Touching his hair? No, not touching. Playing with it and messing it up, more like.
A hand messing up his glorious blond locks? How dare you touch my hair with your grubby hands, cretin! formed in Draco's mind, but all that came out was a groggy,
"Fuck off."
Lilting laughter was the only reply. He sat up. Then promptly fell back with a groan and put a hand on his pounding head. He opened his eyes only to encounter a half-naked girl with cheap blond peroxide hair who, he was pretty sure, he hadn't met before.
Well, in a coherent state anyway.
"Good morning, sweetie," she simpered.
Oh fuck.
She twirled her hair between two manicured nails. "What shall we do today, hmm?"
He decided to get out while he was still alive.
"Get out of my bed, for one." He glared, pulling the sheets off himself and reaching for what resembled a pair of jeans. She giggled in a ditzy manner.
"Oh, but I'd much rather stay."
"I think you'll find that you can't afford that," he said, while pulling on a Ramones t-shirt.
Shock settled on her face. "B-but..."
He stood up and walked towards the door. He paused. Hell, why not crush her in true Malfoy style?
"When I said I'd respect you in the morning, I lied."
And he slammed the door.
He walked into the common room trying to gather his wits. But, unfortunately, he had taken leave of them.
Oh, weren't you notified? I'm terribly sorry; the memo must not have reached you. We're having problems with reception, you see. New girl started Monday. Well, they'll be back Monday, or so they say. You're welcome to leave a message; I'm sure they will get back to you, his inner voice came up with.
Damn.
As he strode in a lazy voice from the couch came out; "He's alive! Call off the search party!" Blaise Zabini said. He was lying on the couch. His long wavy brown hair covering his tired eyes.
Draco glared. "It amazes me, Blaise, how even you can produce coherent speech in the morning." And he sat down.
Blaise ignored this and sat up. "I feel like a bagel."
"What, round and full of fat?" Draco asked.
"No. I was thinking more along the lines of cute and happy."
Draco arched an eyebrow. "Bagels are happy?"
"Of course they are! All giggly and cuddly." He then abruptly stood up and walked out the door.
Draco laughed to himself. Suddenly, he heard a loud thump from the girls' dormitory followed by an audible "Fuck!" He looked over to the girls' door. Sure enough, Pansy Parkinson came out, swearing colourfully and wearing a minimal amount of clothes. She stomped over and sat down, lighting a cigarette.
"Good night?" Draco mocked.
She glared.
"What's wrong?" he sighed.
"The fucker left during the night," she grumbled.
"Who, dear?"
A curious frown came upon her face. "I'm not sure."
"Pansy, darling, you were so trashed that Blaise and I dragged you upstairs."
Comprehension settled on her face. "Oh. But I could have sworn Terry and I...?"
"Hogs Head garden," he gently reminded her.
"Oh, I remember now! Sort of. Where is that most curious boy, anyway?" she asked.
"Raping a bagel, last I heard," he said, idly inspecting his nails. At that moment the dungeon door swung open. Blaise pranced through covered in crumbs.
"Pansy!" he said delightedly and threw himself on her
"Please! Not so loud. Some of us have hangovers, you know," she said, trying to detach herself from the excitable Italian.
"Speaking of which," Draco drawled, "how about I get some coffee injected into my system before we go on any wild adventures?"
"What about trying to tame Granger's hair? Or sacrificing the Virgin Weasel to the pagan Gods?" Pansy said, standing up.
"Later."
"Ok, well, I'm going to get changed before the Gryffindors catch me and try to rape me senseless," she said, walking towards the door.
"It's not rape if you rape them back!" Blaise yelled as the door closed behind her. "Well, I'm leaving before she realises I stole her black bra."
"I'm not even going to ask."
After Pansy had chased Blaise through the common room and kicked in his door, they were all sufficiently dressed and on their way out when yet another hung-over Slytherin appeared through the common room door. He appeared to be covered in leaves and twigs.
"Morning! You look like you had fun, Gregory!" Blaise proclaimed loudly. Goyle grumbled and stormed off.
"Poor Greg."
"Fuck him, I'm starving. Let's go," Draco snarled.
When they walked into the great hall, Draco could have cried in relief when he saw the pot of coffee. He then promptly sat down and began gulping down a great deal of it.
"Um, Malfoy?'
"Fuck off, Blaise, I'm busy," he said, between gulps. Oh, sweet coffee, how I adore thee.
Hang on, Blaise never called him Malfoy. And Slytherin cups weren't red and gold. Shit, this must be...
"FUCK!" he yelled and leaped out from under the Gryffindor table. An amused Harry Potter looked up at him.
"Aw, is icky Malfoykins not a morning person?" he mocked.
"I, unlike your virgin self, like to get laid once in a while, so yes, I'm a tad tired," he snapped and stormed off to the Slytherin table. "You fuckwits," he hissed at Blaise and Pansy who were already seated, and who had watched the entire scene with immense amusement.
"Sit down, Dracokins," Pansy giggled. Draco threw him self down and glared at Harry. Harry smirked back.
Smirking at a Malfoy! Shit, I must be hung-over. Well, at least I own hair gel. And contacts, and a sense of style. Loud screeching from Pansy interrupted his mind-battle.
"No! You deluded, medicated boy! I will not trade you my Dolce and Gabbana jacket for a pair of your shoes!"
"But Pansy, it looks so good on me..."
"You've touched it!" she roared.
"Umm…no?" he tentatively tried.
He lost.
The conversation ended up with Blaise sulking.
Hope you liked it! Was first chapter ever! Yay! Please review and I shall smile all because of you.