Dear diary,
I admit to being very sorry for not keeping an up-to-date record of my doings here at Thornfield. Do not misunderstand me; I most certainly would have if it were not for the events which have taken place recently. The master, a Mr. Edward Rochester, is, I must say, a very harsh and cold man. He is not handsome, nor gentle. He rarely visits or even speaks to his own ward, which may not uncommon, but I still find it rather cruel. It is difficult to carry on a conversation with him, for it seems he would rather complain than actually attempt to converse.
But I love him.
I love him more than I can put into words. I cannot describe how he makes me feel, though I doubt I shall ever try to. I find it hard to contain the excitement that finds its way inside of me whenever he enters the room, or speaks my name. I have never felt like this ever before, but it is true that there is only one other occasion in my life where I have truly loved.
But oh, how desperately did I want him to be ever present! How I wished that he would never leave Thornfield! But now, I need not worry about his leaving. I am assured that he shall remain, always, near me, and forever close to my side. For he returns my affections; he cares for me, trusts that he is able to confide in me. He loves me as I love him, and of this I am certain. He has asked me to be forever close to his side, to go through life together; to share both trials and happiness. He has asked me to marry him, Diary. He has asked me to be his wife.
I find that I must repeat it to myself multiple times each day, for it seems too glorious to be true. I have never had anyone, and I once doubted that I ever would. I have, on more than one occasion, asked him to tell me again that I am to be his. Whenever I do, he smiles warmly at me, which he once did not do. He assures me that his proposal was not a dream and that he truly loves me, and never wishes me to be out of his sight.
Is this what contentment is? Is this what one experiences when love enters one's thoughts and emotions? Is this the wondrous feeling of elation that I have heard of, but never felt? Is this real?
I can only pray it is.