The Sandbox Tree
Written by Both
TheEvilMuffinToaster & x-Malicious-Me-x
Category: Ouran High School Host Club
Chapter One: Unconnected
TEMT: Hello, I am the mighty Evil Muffin Toaster. Due to lack of enthusiasm with my other stories -dodges shoe- I have dragged my lovable twin into writing another story with me :D
XMMX: As long as there are plenty of exploding trees, I am good to go. Slave-driver.
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"Just two sorrowful people. Even dreams are forgotten. The echoing, singing voice of birds gone mad." – "Dance Site of Darkness" by ASK & Faneru (Seriously, there is not enough songs by these two)
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Chapter One: Unconnected
Gray eyes roamed over the hideous object before them. Said object was a dress; a dress the color of butterscotch yellow. The dress was innocently laid across the bedspread with its thin sleeves spread out and the cuffs puffed out like a blowfish and the bell-shaped bottom, perfectly ironed with no sign of a crease in sight. An untied pink bow was lying next to the sleeves of the dress. A pair of brown Mary-Janes was located at the bottom of the dark xanthe-colored abomination.
"Hell to the no." The owner of the gray eyes confirmed. They belonged to a strange looking creature of the human race, obviously belonging to feminine sex. She had dirty-blond hair that stopped at her chin and curled in and resembled an 80's bob. Her scrutinizing dark pupils were dilated beyond the normal size, and her pale skin was covered in small blemishes and scars. She obviously wore no make-up and was dressed carefully in a pair of tight black skinny jeans and a black t-shirt with the words 'Death Note' blazoned across the front of it in bleeding red ink. Bangles covered her wrist, making clinking sounds every time she moved. One pale hand with long, gangly fingers was resting on her hip, while the other one covered the right side of her face. A grin that looked horribly akin to insane started to crawl onto her lips.
"Idiot," An Australian-accented voice commented in monotone. The gray-eyed girl dropped both her hands, leaving them to dangle at her side as she twisted her form to stare at the owner of the voice. This girl was slightly shorter and bore a serious smile on her face. Her gray, half-lidded eyes weren't as wide as the others, but they were exactly the same shade; just as deep and just as threatening. This girl had brown hair pulled back into a ponytail that almost shined purple in the dim-lit room. A pair of square glasses rested precariously on the edge of her straight nose and her gray eyes seemed to be staring off into space. The girl was dressed up black baggy jeans and an orange shirt with the words "Naruto" in bold font planted on the front of it.
"Honestly, Smam," The girl continued, "Can you get any more stupid?"
The black-clad girl, apparently named Smam, just leaned forward the shorter gray-eyed girl with one gangly hand on her waist and the other on her bent knee. An all-knowing grin crawled onto her face. "Oh my dear Twix, can you honestly expect myself, the great Smam, to wear that hideous excuse for an article of clothing?"
"Unless you desire to go naked, you have no other choice."
Turning her head to the side and closing her eyes, Smam put one long finger up in the air; a hand on her waist and arrogantly said, "Do not give me such a choice sister-twin; we both know very well that I would rather dance around in my birthday suit than wear that pitiful excuse for a dress."
"Please don't. The mental images of you prancing around naked are forever emblazoned in my memory." Twix held back a shudder.
"Glad to know I could be of some assistance, sister-twin." Smam said proudly and her hands fell to her sides with a clink of the bangles. She sauntered over to the dress and stared at it with such burning hatred that that Twix expected the thing to burst into flames.
Smam and Twix; two of the strangest friends one would ever have the misfortune to meet. Smam was the younger of the two, being only sixteen, but was also taller. She really enjoyed rubbing that fact into the other's face. Twix was the elder of the two, being seventeen, was pathetically shorter and deeply resents that fact. Smam and Twix had been born early in the year, Smam in 1989 in New York, and Twix 1988 in Sydney, Australia. Smam and Twix were aliases they liked to use after they were 'named' by the two who saved their lives long ago. Their real names were Sarah Rouge and Xara Xander. Sarah being Smam and Xara being Twix. The two had met each other in Winchester, England after the deaths of their parents.
"Are you expecting the dress to burst into flame Smam?" Twix mumbled, genuinely curious. It wouldn't be the first time something as spontaneous as that would have happened to the pair.
"No – but that would be pretty epic," Smam replied evenly. She stared at the dress with an unfathomable expression on her face for a few more minutes before deciding to panic. She threw her arms into the air and cried out.
"Something wrong, It?" It was often a habit of Twix to call Smam 'It,' as when they had first met, Twix could not decipher Smam's real gender. She never did figure it out until Smam actually told her.
"I can't take it!" Smam yelped. "It's like the dress is watching my every move~~!! It's extremely annoying when I think about it and it makes me want to set it and everything it ever loved on fire. Beautiful, exploding fire!"
Twix rolled her eyes as her pyromaniac of a sister began a long rant on the sheer prettiness of fire and how it slowly will destroy the earth in due time. Her gray eyes rolled in their sockets once more and Twix answered with a bored, "I believe the world will end in Ice. It is only logical. When the sun explodes, the Earth shall be spun off its axis and into space, and the absence of a heat source will freeze us."
"Moron! It shall end in fire! An exploding sun can't possibly throw us off our axis – we'll be caught in the blast and be incinerated!"
"It will be ice, my dear twin."
"Fire!"
"Ice."
"Beautiful, flaming fire."
"Whatever you believe, dear," Twix replied.
Smam frowned. "Hmm, you are not fighting back. Are you ill?"
Twix shot Smam a blank look. "No, you moronic blonde, I am in uncharted territories with you and being sent a school for insanely snobby rich children and that has a dress code. I mean, the school itself, sure, but a dress code? In which you must actually wear a dress?"
"Let's not wear the uniforms then!"
"That is an impossible notion, sister-twin," Twix replied. "We will get kicked out because we are not on a scholarship; we have to wear the unifo–" Cutting herself off abruptly, Twix's eyes glazed over. "Wait, Smam. I have idea."
Dropping onto her hands and knees, Twix disappeared underneath the bed. Smam slapped her face and sighed; her bangles jingling with each flick of her wrist. Soon a brown box was pushed from underneath the bed, the elder twin climbing herself climbing out and brushing nonexistent dust particles off her clothes. She picked up the square box with one arm, pushed the disgusting dress off of the bed with the other, and set the box on top of Smam's black bedspread.
"Fun box!" Smam said gleefully and moved towards the box, only to have her hands slapped away by Twix. "Owie…" Smam whimpered; rubbing her red hands. "That wasn't nice…"
"I wasn't born nice," Twix replied blankly. She rolled her eyes as big, fat crocodile tears started to form at the edges of Smam's sunflower-shaped gray eyes. "Stop crying; you look stupid."
"Well geez, aren't you nice?"
"We just went over this. I wasn't born nice."
Smam huffed angrily. "Just open your stupid box."
Complying with her sister's wishes, Twix moved to open the square box. She carefully lifted up the cardboard lid and whipped it across the room, smiling when it hit the wall with a dull 'thunk' and hoping it left a dent. Twix leaned over the box and flashed a wide grin at the contents of the box. Letting her curiosity get the better of her once more, Smam sidled over to her twin-sister's side and peered down at the box. The confusion was evident on the girl's face.
"Twix." Smam said.
"Yes, It?"
"What is this?"
"It's a uniform."
"But a Male's uniform."
"So?"
"Unless you are truly gender-confused (or were dropped on your head), this is for men. Ya'know, people of the Y chromosome."
"Oh I know, It."
"You do?"
"Yes."
"Well, why do you have the Male's uniforms?"
Twix just smiled.
The uniform, in Smam's opinion, was much better than the butterscotch dress that now lay unceremoniously in a clumped pile on the floor near Smam and Twix's bare feet. It was a indigo blazer with an emblazoned Ouran crest on its left side near the labels; a pristine O.R. Dark black pants were neatly unfolded and innocently laid next to the indigo blazer with the polished dark dress shoes located at the bottom of the bed.
"As sexy as it looks…" Smam said, lifting up the sleeve and groping the soft material. "…We're not dudes."
"Oh, but we don't need to be males to wear such a uniform."
"Sister-twin, I know that you are practically blind in your right eye, but can't you tell that we are not male?" She poked Twix's flat chest. "And as flat as we both are sister-twin, we–" Her eyes widened. "You want us to…to…"
"To?" Twix pressed.
"Go incognito as dudes!!!"
"Correct." Twix answered simply.
"Why?"
"Shall we make a bet, Smam dearest?"
Smam's gray eyes narrowed. "What kind of bet?"
"A good bet."
"There is never just a 'good' bet."
"Touché." Twix answered. "But this bet you can surely not turn down."
"It depends."
Twix smiled.
"Dude, stop smiling. It's freaking me out."
The smile just grew. "It-twin, what is your favorite food-object in the world; something you can obviously not live without? Something you would surely die without."
"Pocky," Smam deadpanned.
"Of course," Twix's small smile twisted higher; revealing a demented grin. "Here is my bet. The one who can keep up the charade of being male th elongest shall win the bet; the loser has to buy the winner of the aforementioned bet any Pocky of the winner's choice for a year and a half – the length of our stay in Japan. Of course, if we stay longer, the bet still ends at a year and a half."
Smam's scowl twisted skyward and she grinned; the grin reached her gray eyes and she automatically covered the side of her face with her gangly hand. Soft chuckles escaped her lips and she extended her free hand towards her twin. Smiling deviously, Twix clasped hands with Smam.
"Have we a bet?" Twix asked.
"We have a bet." Smam agreed.
"Ha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-r-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-i!" Two seemingly and overly obnoxious voices said in overly obnoxious harmony.
The fifteen year old Haruhi Fujioka sighed sadly; closing her book, knowing full well that she would never be able to finish it now. She was sitting at her desk in the back of the 1A classroom, minding her own business like she always did and faithfully ignoring the longing looks of the other female (and sometimes male) students. Class had yet to start and Haruhi was interested to learn that two students would be arriving to join the classroom. Two English children; she and the others didn't know anything more.
"Haruhi~~!!" The overly obnoxious voices said again and she looked up from the cover of 'The Thirteenth Tale' and into the identical faces of her classmates: Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin.
"Hello Haruhi!" They said, wrapping their arms around her shoulders; completely ignoring the popping of the infamous 'personal bubble'. Haruhi sighed again and attempted to put her book away, but the younger Hitachiin snatched it away from her. His eyes narrowed at the book and a thin eyebrow rose.
"What kind of book is this Haruhi~~?"
"It is a gothic suspense novel," Haruhi answered. "It made its debut in England in the year 2006. It tells the tale of Vida Winters, the imaginary persona that holds the spot of the greatest author the world has ever seen. Vida tells the amateur Maragret Lea to write her biography about her past which has eluded everyone." Haruhi answered point-blankly. "It is a tale of death, angst, sorrow, incest and an edge that keeps the reader on their toes."
Hikaru flipped through the book. "It's entirely in English though. Can you really read all of this?"
"I'm halfway through it already, so I should hope so." Haruhi answered. She quickly grabbed the book out of Hikaru's hand and started to put it in her own desk, but Hikaru grabbed the book before she could and Haruhi attempted to pull it back. Instead of the book going down, the book flew over Hikaru's shoulder and sailed across the room like a bird in flight. The door had opened then and an unfamiliar male entered. dressed in the male Ouran uniform and a pair of ratty black and white converses. He wore square glasses and his brown hair pulled back into a ponytail that seemingly shined purple in the well lit room. The boy had no time to react when The Thirteenth Tale slammed into the side of his head with a nasty 'thump'. The boy's glasses fell off his nose and onto the floor; the crack in the left glass becoming bigger. Haruhi immediately stood up and sprinted towards the now kneeling-male, who had a hand covering his left gray eye. Haruhi kneeled down to apologize to the fallen male, but light chuckles drew her attention elsewhere.
Leaning against the doorway stood a nearly identical male with a strangely different hairstyle and had lighter dirty-blond hair, but the same deep gray eyes. He too was dressed in the Ouran Uniform and was keeled over slightly. One gangly hand covered half of the male's face while a Glasgow grin was in place upon the boy's face. There was a strangely feminine sheen to both boys, but Haruhi couldn't put her finger on it, so she returned her attention to the kneeling gray-eyed young man only to find those peering, scrutinizing gray eyes were fixated upon her. Haruhi noticed that the right eye was slightly darker than the other and had a scar slashed right through it at a 45 degree angle.
Then the boy spoke. "Is this yours?" He asked in monotone, holding the book out to Haruhi.
"Yes it's mine. I'm sorry it hit you."
"Ja ne twin~~!!" The boy at the door laughed. "I told you Twix that the extra pair would be necessary."
"Yes, Smam, I know of your super-amazing Mary-Sue psychic powers – stop bragging and give me my glasses."
With a hand still on his face, the other long gangly hand reached into a pocket on the indigo blazer and pulled out an identical pair of square glasses. With a flick of his wrist, the glasses went flying towards the one named 'Twix' who caught them one handed. He stood up and strode over to the one named 'Smam' and slapped him upside the head.
"And that," Twix said blandly, "is what you deserve for being stupid."
"Sorry I'm late my chil – Oh hello there!" Smam and Twix turned around to see a middle-aged woman with a black-haired pixie cut and kind, almond shaped brown eyes. A friendly smile was on her face. She was about the same height as Twix, who was five-foot-six.
"Ah~~! You must be my two newest children!" The woman said, obviously this classroom's teacher. "I am Emika Matsuda. You can call me Emi-sensei." She looked from Smam, who still had the hand on her face, to Twix, who had replaced her broken glasses with the new pair. "You must be Saran Rouge," She pointed at Smam. "And you must be Xavier Xanders." She pointed at Twix. "Welcome to Classroom 1A~~!!!"
"Emika-sensei," Twix said in monotone, "I would rather you not call us our real names. Please call me Twix and my associate Smam."
"Smam and Twix, ne?" Emika repeated. "Those are funny names."
"As funny as they may be, they mean a lot to us, considering they were created by the people who saved our lives long ago in Winchester." Twix replied, and there was a small amount of silence from the teacher. Breaking out into a grin, she wrapped an arm around Twix and Smam, both bringing them down to her level. Well, she brought Smam down. Twix simply stood there semi-awkwardly.
"Is that right?" Emika asked. "Well Smam, Twix, I think me and you two will get along just fine. You two are twins right?"
"We have no true family connections, if that is what you mean," Twix replied.
"We are indeed from different families; I being from New York and Twix being from Australia, but we have known each other for twelve years and treat each as twins."
"You're from Aussie?" Emika asked. "Did you live in the outback? Did you wrestle crocodiles? Did you go adventures with a cowboy hat and a John Denver look-alike?" The teacher seemed genuinely excited.
"No."
Smam raised a hand though. "I've wrestled an alligator before, does that count?"
"When did you wrestle an alligator?" Twix asked.
"…During that trip to Disney Land."
"So you weren't sick."
"Ah. No."
"You were afraid of Mickey Mouse again, were you?"
"I am not going to dignify that with an answer."
Emika coughed. "Well now, my two new lovely children! How about you introduce yourselves – since you seem to lead such interesting lives!"
Twix and Smam were lead to front of the room by the small teacher. With a fleeting glare, Smam spoke first; the hand on his face falling limply to the side. "I'm Smam and I like explosions, Pocky, Manga, Anime and plotting world domination. I hail from New York, but lived in England for twelve years."
"I am Twix. I enjoy reading, blowing things up, plotting world domination, and climbing exploding trees. I hail from Australia, but lived in Winchester with Smam for the last decade or so."
"Ah, now that the tediously tedious introductions have been finished~~!!" Emika's voice took on a singsong type of tone. "Now my lovely surrogate children, time to hand in your homework~~!!"
There was a harmony of agitated groans and Emika gestured for the two siblings to sit in front two red-headed twins with a seat in-between Smam and Twix that was currently empty. But Twix learned from the boy who owned the book that hit her in the face that a new student was assigned to sit there; who, Haruhi or anyone else didn't know.
Smam and Twix were both at school; undercover and in disguise as males, but keeping their aliases as promised. They would also keep their aliases; those two who had given their lives for them would always have the satisfaction of knowing, Xara and Sarah would only respond to Twix and Smam. No matter what happened, Smam and Twix would forever be their names. It was as if Sarah Rouge and Xara Xander were two small whispers in the wind. Saran Rouge and Xavier Xander were just two…pseudonyms they were using at the time being; nothing less, nothing more.
After making the bet, the next day came and before school started, Smam had to started to puke at the fact that she had to act 'like a gentlemen' and couldn't 'blow shit up'. Twix of course didn't tell Smam that she could blow things up since males are normally overlooked in those type of things, but instead mauled Smam and forced the younger twin into her uniform.
They were now both outside for no apparent reason; watching with boredom lurking in their gray irises as two male second year students from Class C were beginning to fight. Smam was eager at the prospect of a fight and knowing that both battlers were rather pugnacious, Smam had a good feeling the fight would be worth to watch. Twix, on the other hand, was watching the boy named Haruhi talk to some idiotic blond with pulchritudinous looks. She speculated the man was gay since he kept trying to hug Haruhi every few seconds or so, but was stopped by a black haired boy with rimless glasses.
"Twix," Smam asked.
"Yes?"
"I want Pocky~~!!"
"Go to the lunch room, moron."
"But I have no idea where it is."
"Then why are you asking me?"
"I thought you had the map…?"
"No, actually. You burned it with the dress."
"Oh!" Then Smam pumped her fists into the air, shouting a glee-filled 'YES!' as the two second years began to duke it out. Rolling her eyes at Smam's puerility, Twix turned her attention back to Haruhi. Some might call this 'stalking,' but Twix preferred to call it 'people-watching.' The black-haired boy was now watching the fight with his eyes hidden by the glasses. Then his gaze settled on her.
"Twix!" Twix felt Smam's gangly hands on her back and she went flying forward as something crashed into the table they were sitting at. There was the sound of breaking wood and Twix bitterly spat out the grass and mud that had gathered in her mouth when she collided with the ground. She turned around to glare at Smam to only raise an eyebrow.
She was in the middle of the fight between the two second years and obviously pissed by it too. They weren't even fighting each other now; just Smam. Suddenly, Smam grabbed the arm of the taller second year and slammed him into the other one. The second year who had the man slammed into jumped up and attempted to roundhouse kick Smam. She crouched down and grabbed his leg as it skimmed over her head. She grabbed the leg and jumped on top of him, flipping him over. She grabbed his leg and he started screaming.
"Get this crazy bitch off of me!" He shrieked. "This dude is fucking wacko!"
Twix sighed and picked Smam up by her collar and slammed the younger twin into a nearby tree. Smam scowled and crossed her arms as she slid down the tree. Ignoring Smam's puerile attitude, Twix grabbed both second years by the arms and scowled at them.
"Are you alright?" Haruhi asked Smam.
Smam rubbed a cut on her head with her long gangly fingers. "I'll be fine Haru-chan. The only thing that's been hurt is my pride! FORGIVE ME YANMA-NAY!" She shouted to the sky.
"Stop being an idiot," Twix chided.
"I can't be what I never was," Smam snorted with a puckish smile.
"Have you no pudency?"
"…no." Smam replied.
"How is that not a surprise," Twix replied sardonically. Her gray eyes then noticed it was no longer just the two of them. There was now six other men with pulchritudinous looks like the blond. The blond had wavy golden hair and periwinkle purple eyes, the black haired boy with the glasses had calculating gray eyes, the twins from earlier had reddish-orange hair and golden-colored eyes, another tall black-haired male with brown eyes and a short blond with brown eyes and clutching a bunny to his chest. Standing off to the side of the group was Haruhi who was helping clean Smam's cut with a first aid kit she kept in her bag.
"There." Haruhi said, pulling away from Smam. A tan band aid now covered the cut on her cheek and the blood had been cleaned up. Smam flashed a grin and hugged Haruhi, shocking the girl.
"Aww, thank you Haru-chan!"
Twix sighed.
"I'm sorry, my sibling is an idiot." Twix patted Haruhi's back and began to drag the twin away.
"Wait!" The blond said, reaching out and stopping Twix by holding her shoulder. "We must know your name, fair prince!"
"Did he just call me a prince?" Twix asked Smam, who nodded. "Oh indeed, prince."
"Ha-ha."
Twix opened her mouth to speak again, but instead the black-haired boy spoke instead.
"Xavier Xander, Nickname: Twix, aged seventeen, birthday January 6th, height: five-foot-six, birth country: Australia." His eyes then turned onto Smam. "Saran Rouge, nickname: Smam, aged sixteen, birthday February 3rd, height: five-foot-eight, birth country: United States."
"'Sta-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-alker." Smam said in a singsong voice.
"Hmm."
"Mr. Xander, Mr. Rouge, we would like you to stop by our club~~!!" The blond said pompously. "Stop by the third music room today after school!"
Before Twix could voice her opinion, the host Club was gone from sight, leaving Twix holding Smam by the collar.
Things were starting to get interesting.
TEMT: How interesting~~!!
XMMX: It sounds like Twix and Smam, to make a bet for food.
TEMT: Never doubt Pocky~~!!