A.N: Well what a horrible fan I am it has been two days since his birthday and i'm sending this now...well late than never right ? This is for you John Barrowman and for those sleepless night my mom and i tried to make my dad understand why we found you so hot even though youre 2 years older than him..

Dsclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, Torchwood or anything related to Who-verse.. It all belongs to Russell T. and frankly he doesn't know how valuable it is...

"The first step to eternal life, is you have to die.''

Chuck Palahniuk quotes

What was death to him ? It meant absolutely nothing at all. He had died thousands of times, seen the darkness again and again and came back. He was immortal and being immortal…I was worse than dying a million times.

Rose was back. They'd destroyed the Daleks. Martha and Mickey…oh, hey were so sure that everything was gonna be fantastic from now on…

But he knew better. He had known old Doctor far too damn much to believe that shit. He would leave Rose with his meta-crisis and let every single one of them to live in pain for the rest of their lifes. And Donna. Donna had no idea what was about to happen. There was no place for Donna in this reality. She wasn't supposed to exist this way, she couldn't exist this way.

''Jack !'' Ianto Jones was used to see Captain whenever he turned around. But this time, it was different, Jack was back. He knew Jack couldn't die but it didn't mean he couldn't feel pain. And it definetly wasn't going to stop Ianto worrying.

''Gwen went home.'' Said Ianto unsure what to say. ''She said she had to check on Rhys.''

''Martha took Mickey to her house.'' Said Jack at the same tone Jack used.

''Mickey ?''

''An old friend, too old in fact. He was in another dimension. Now he is back."

They looked at each other, gazing into each other's eyes…it was enough to wash the pain stabbing both of them deep inside. Then Jack hugged Ianto. His arms were strong and tight. He was holding Ianto like he was refusing to let go…forever.

''Yan, oh Yan. You have no idea how scared I was…the thought of losing you…''

''I'm here cariad.'' Whisperer Ianto his ear. Then he kissed him. The only place I ever felt at home after Tardis, Jack thought, Ianto's arms.

''Jack ?'' said Ianto after a while. They were lying on the bed, looking up to the walls of Jack's man hole. ''Why were you so afraid of Daleks. I've never seen you like that. You were trembeling.'' Jack said nothing, continued to avoid Ianto's gaze. Ianto took a deep breath.

''They came before, didn't they? They were here with the cybermen. At the Battle of Canary Wharf.''

''Yeah.''

He is still avoiding to make an eye contact, Ianto thought. It wasn't like Jack.

''But that's not the reason.'' It was more like a question than a statement.

''Yes.'' Jack whispered again.

When he turned and looked into his lovers eyes, Ianto shivered. His blue eyes were glistening with tears.

''What did they do to you Jack ?'' He hold Jack's hand, squeezing it slowly while looking into his lovers eyes.

His mind was racing. There were countless possibilities. Torture, murder…

''They made me who I am.''

Now, that was a shock.

''They made you immortal ?'' asked Ianto disbelievingly. What was so bad about that. Yeah it sucked to be an immortal but it wasn't like Jack to be so vunreable about that.

''No, they killed me.''

''Then how ?''

Jack took a deep breath.

''It was so long ago, at year 200 100..''

So he told him and he listened quietly never interrupting, never disbelieving…

''But she came back.'' He said with a harsh voice. ''She looked into time vortex and came back to save Doctor. When she came back she found me dead. She was powerful, so powerful. She could take or give life. But she didn't want to risk me again. She was so young. Only nineteen, she brought me back forever…''

''Remind me to kiss her for that.'' Ianto smiled through tears. And when he smiled Jack smiled too.

''You are getting that attidute from me Jones, Ianto Jones. But his smile faded. ''She is gone, trapped again. Has her own Doctor know, that Idiot, left her after everything she had gone through.''

''I'll never leave you Jack.'' Whispered Into, kissing him. Before he fall asleep in his lovers arms, Jack was sure he heard those four words.

''I love you, cariad.''

I love you too Ianto, more than I'm willing to admit and more than you'll ever know.

Well you deserve so much better, and you too guys but right know it's all i can do...R&R plz ?