Hi all :D This is CherryDecaf 3 :)

And I am, (as is BananaMilk), an insane Merlin fan. Unfortunately, BananaMilk will NOT be contributing to this story, because...well...I had to write it, and she's not around me right now :(

So

Look forward to our next story together.
This is just me xD

Enjoy!

WARNING: THIS CONTAINS BOY LOVE, SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, PLEASE DON'T COMPLAIN AND JUST LEAVE. Thanks :)

'Merlin' is not my creation and all rights go to BBC for creating his magnificent beautiful show :D this is simply a fan story to support the (hopefully) everlasting love of Arthur and Merlin ^^

Enjoy :D and Please READ and REVIEW

Especially if you like the story~ Thanks!

Prologue:

Merlin's POV

I know that I will never be able to claim him. It is my destiny to stand by the side, to watch and protect him regardless of what either of us wants. I can never step in front of him, nor walk beside him, but always be one step behind, to watch his back. This is my duty.

But why does my heart hurt so much? Why does it grow heavy and twisted when I see him with her?

I don't think I can fight it anymore, but I don't want to let it go.

What should I do?

Arthur's POV

I never noticed how important he was to me until the day he insisted coming with me to the battle with the dragon. God knows what happened, and I could barely remember what happened before I blanked out. But what do I remember, was that aching feeling, that fear that seemed to eat away all my thoughts when I saw Merlin fall off the horse. It wasn't the fear for me or for any of my knights, but for his safety. It wasn't fear for the loss of a manservant, nor was it for the possible loss of a friend. It was as if, if any harm fell on Merlin, everything would fall apart.

I was furious with myself for having let him come.

When we returned, and when sweet Guinevere came to welcome me back, the previous affection I had felt for Merlin and my passion for Guinevere clashed like two forceful waves.

I didn't know then that everything was already changing.

Chapter 1:

It was almost customary for Merlin to be late for his duties as a manservant. Every morning, about twenty minutes after the time he should have arrived at Arthur's bed chambers, he would wake up and bolt out of bed, throwing his clothes on as he runs to the door. He'd grab the bowl of breakfast that Gaius had made for him and gulp it down, while the other hand opens the door with magic. He would receive a quick scolding from Gaius, which he cuts short, and dart out of the infirmary. He would run down the corridor, giving several brief greetings to his friends, and dash towards Arthur's chambers. By the time he got inside, Arthur would already be awake, waiting impatiently for him to help him dress for the day.

But since Merlin came back from the battle with the Last Dragon, he had been unable to sleep comfortably. Three days have passed since he first started being punctual for his duties. It was strange, since, every time they came back safe and sound from a danger, he could easily sleep for the next two days, if he didn't get waken up by Gaius. All he could do that night was toss and turn, trying to get the image of Arthur and Guinevere's hug out of his mind. He didn't even understand why it bothered him so much. So his best friend and his liege are in love. It should make him feel happy. And yet, all that filled his mind, was this burning feeling, a feeling of sorrow, but much stronger. It seemed like a mixture of sadness, anger and loneliness. Merlin glanced out the window, watching the clouds float drowsily past the bright shining moon. Through the crack of his wooden door, he could hear the snores of Gaius, breaking the ringing silence of the room. He sighed and turned, rolling his face into the pillow. His tired mind suddenly drifted up a spell that would help him fall asleep, and he whispered it gratefully. But even as the dark corners of his mind grew and enveloped his consciousness, he couldn't erase that one, burning image.

Arthur's POV.

I don't know whether to accept it as a new habit or to continue being undeniably curious as to why Merlin was arriving on time. Of course, in some ways, it is pleasant to wake up and see his smiling face, greeting him good morning, but it was worrying, especially since I began seeing little differences in his manservant. The strange, mischievous gold in his eye was gone, and there were miniscule dark shadows under his eyes. His smile seems strained, and he always tried to avoid eye contact. This, beyond anything, irritated me to no ends. Every time Merlin looks away from my searching eyes, a stab of pain resounds through my chest and I feel myself tense up and look away.

Nothing had changed when I woke up this morning. My tired, bleary eyes searched for the blessed familiar face that looked out the window with a troubled, far-away look. I coughed quietly to catch his attention. His head immediately whirled into my direction and a smile lighted up his face slightly.

"Morning, you royal prat. You said yesterday that you could get up at whatever time you wanted. It's three minutes past our bet time." His smile turned into a smirk.

"Shut up, Merlin. I woke up exactly at eight, I just didn't open my eyes until three minutes later."

Merlin's eyebrows raised, questioning my sad excuse. "Right. Well, get up. You have a training session with your knights today. You can at least be punctual for that, right?" He turned and walked across the room to grab my armor and clothes. My eyes trailed after him. My logical mind was comparing his body to that of Guinevere's, criticizing every difference, but my heart clearly longed for him, not caring about his gender.

I finally understood a few days ago what it was I felt for this young boy. It was love. Yes, love. It may sound stupid, and many would probably reply with an incredulous look, saying 'but…he's a guy…', but it is undeniable that I feel deep affection for Merlin. The only problem was, however, that I also felt similar affections towards Guinevere, who I had believed myself to be fully in love with before. She, too, had a similar warm smile and an endearing heart. The more logical reason would be to pick Guinevere: she would be a good queen, and, unlike Merlin, could give me an heir. But deep inside, I could tell that I can't let him go either.

I didn't realize that I was sitting up in my bed, looking like an idiot until Merlin courteously pointed it out. I smirked, refusing to get up while Merlin looked increasingly annoyed. It was fun to tease this young boy. His frown turned into a pout when he realized what I was doing. God, it was such a cute pout. His thin eyebrows seemed to clash together, and his cheeks would blow up slightly, but not so much that it would make him look rather strange. His eyes would seem to grow bigger, pleading me to stop. I couldn't deny that look.

Sighing, I got up and walked over to the separator. Merlin followed my footsteps, grabbing the clothes he had discarded on the table and bringing it over to my changing space. I stripped quickly, not wanting to miss any time for my practice. But I was soon distracted as I saw Merlin's red face through the tiny holes of the separator. He was looking away. Again. Irritation spread through me like a wildfire, my hands clenching tightly around my clothes as I pulled it over my head.

Why? Why does he keep looking away? A sudden idea forcefully appeared in my head. I stripped off my shirt again and dropped it onto the ground, disregarding it completely. I quickly changed off my pants and walked out from behind the separator. If I wasn't the great King Arthur, I would be feeling very nervous. I coughed slightly and glanced at Merlin from the corner of my eyes.

"Er…Merlin, I can't seem to find my shirt. Help me get another one will you?" If Merlin's face was red before, then it would now be beetroot. His face had turned into such a dark shade of blush that I feared he would faint any minute.

"Huh? B-But I thought I a-already handed you your shirt…" His eyes still remained on the door on the other side.

"Well, do you see it on me now?" I congratulated myself on this bright idea. Now he had to look.

Merlin gulped and turned his eyes on me. "No." This time, he didn't look away. A somewhat pleasurable feeling went straight up to my head.

"Then get another one for me." Nodding dumbly, he slowly backed out of the room, nearly falling over my bed covers on the ground.

"Right. Okay. I'll be right back." He dashed out of the room.

I smiled slightly. I had gone out with enough women to know that kind of behavior. What seems rather ironic is that Merlin clearly does not know what he is feeling. I sighed and grabbed my shirt from behind the separator. Better get rid of the evidence, I thought as I threw the shirt out the window.

Merlin's POV

W-W-W-What?!, I thought as I dashed through the corridors, still holding onto Arthur's armor. My heart was beating so hard, I could hear it through the ribcage. What was going on? It was just another half-naked man. As if I haven't seen enough of those on the training field, when things got too hot for them. And even worse, it was just Arthur, an unobservant, spoilt little royal brat. A brat who is also dating Guinevere. That thought send shivers into my boiling heart, but it was soon forgotten. And yet I here I am, acting like some love-sick maiden who had just had a full glimpse at her crush's well-sculptured body. And boy, was it well-sculptured. The muscles were finely defined, but not so much that they would bulge out. His arms were strong and toned, probably from the excessive training he did all day. He does get very serious about training. That was one of his good points, I suppose. That and the fact that he's very loyal. And that he's compassionate. And also, when it boils down to things, he actually listens to everyone's advice. Although it depends on his mood whether or not he accepts them. And he always helps me out, like that time when he tried to help Gaius…

I stopped short in the middle of an empty corridor. What the hell am I doing? Daydreaming about Arthur does not help my situation right now. Whether its night or day, all I can do is think about him. Thoughts about him seemed to be the only thing on my mind. I walked unsteadily to the nearest wall, clutching onto a protruding brick. Am I coming down with something?

"Merlin, are you all right?" I jumped at the familiar voice of Guinevere.

"Oh, um, yeah. Sorry, I just felt a little panicky."

"Yes, you did seem like that. You looked like you were going mad. Not that I'm saying I am, no of course not. You look normal. Well, not right now, but usually. Just like a normal person…"

I couldn't help but smile. "Gwen, I'm fine."

"Oh. Right, I just didn't want you to think people think you're mad. Well, me, at any rate. I'm not saying that everyone else thinks you are though-"

I laughed. "Gwen."

"Oh. Right. How come you're not with Arthur?"

"I…uh…" I grasped desperately for a plausible excuse. "He wanted some privacy to change."

Gwen's smile turned to a confuse frown. "That's odd. I wonder if I should just go then."

My nervous mind stopped and I turned my eyes on her. "Go?"

She smiled abashedly. "Yes. Morgana said that she didn't want 'a love-sick maiden who wants to be with her crush and too worried to tell her liege' in her room. She dismissed me and ordered me to go pay Arthur a visit."

I gulped. The same irritating wildfire I kept feeling in my heart from the previous nights reappeared in my heart, as my mind conjured up disturbing images of them together. Gwen laughing at his jokes. Or him courteously offering his arm to her to take her for a walk . Or him putting his hand on her waist.

"Merlin?" Gwen's worried voice tore apart of the images. Feeling slightly relieved, I smiled.
"Sorry, just a little tired."

She laughed again. "Yes, you have been sleeping bout twenty minutes less than usual to be on time, haven't you?"

"Yeah," I chuckled uncomfortably.

"Well…I should be going. I'll knock on his door before going in, to make sure he's finished changing." She side-stepped me and started walking towards Arthur's chambers, looking nervous and fidgety.

"Right…" I said quietly, restraining the great urge to stop her and tell her that Arthur wasn't in his room. Just a small lie right?

I sighed and shook my head again, as if hoping to throw the thoughts aside. I turned and picked up the discarded armor bits on the floor. What to do…

Eheh :D How was it?

Please review so I can improve. For both our benefits xD

Look forward to the next chapter!

-CherryDecaf:)