Helllloooo. Welcome to B and E's first one-shot! We came up with this idea for a one-shot and just had to write about it. While sitting in B's room working on our story "The Man in the Racetrack," E spotted an unusual stuffed toy and commented, "What would Brennan say about that?" We both then continued to point out everything that was illogical about it. It was fun. [x Thus the creation of this story. Enjoy! (:
Disclaimer: We do not own Bones. ):
Parker's Birthday
The waitress stopped at the table, both of her arms occupied by trays filled with food. She smiled at the woman sitting alone at the two-person booth, recognizing her as a regular. The waitress set down one of the full trays on the table and removed a basket of fries from it. Scooping up the tray back onto her arm, the waitress hurried off to deliver the rest of her orders. Normally the diner wasn't this busy, but considering it was a Friday night, it wasn't unusual for the diner to be reaching full capacity.
The woman tapped her foot against the leg supporting the table near the window as she looked out to the people walking down the streets, wondering when her partner would arrive. Checking her watch, Brennan sighed impatiently as she nibbled at one of the fries. A few moments later the door to the diner swung open and Booth hurried in with an excited smile across his face.
Sliding into his seat, Booth gave his partner an apologetic smile, "Sorry for making ya wait Bones, but," he held up his hands, "I got a good reason!" Brennan's eyebrows raised in a curious look as she said, "And what exactly would that be?" Booth leaned forward, his eyes widening in an attempt to make the moment more exciting, "Ok, so you know its Parker's birthday tomorrow right?"
She blinked then looked down at the french fry in her hand. "Bones!" Booth whined when he realized she had forgotten, "I'm sorry!" she cried, "We've both been so busy it must've slipped my mind…"
Rolling his eyes Booth said, "Well anyway, it's Parker's big day tomorrow so…I got him…The. Perfect. Gift!" he said happily.
"Drum roll please?" Booth said but sighed when Brennan looked at him like he was crazy. "There are no drums here Booth…" He crinkled his eyebrows and grumbled, "Come on, Bones! Use your imagination!" His enthusiasm building, "Grab two forks! Hell, grab two french fries! Pretend they're drumsticks and act like you're Frank Beard!"
Brennan's expression lit up with sudden understanding, "Oh, from ZZ-Top?" Momentarily distracted from his earlier train of thought Booth said, "Wow Bones, didn't know you actually knew that one." Brennan shrugged, "Well Angela's dad is Billy Gibbons so why wouldn't I know it…and come to think of it…I always found it ironic how Frank Beard is the only one who didn't have a beard." Booth laughed at her speculation before waving his hands and saying, "Ok, ok back on topic….forget the drum roll I'll just show you already." Bending down he grabbed the red bag that said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" across it in festive letters before setting it in the center of the table beside their basket of fries.
Humming the 20th century Fox theme song, Booth slowly pulled out his present. When it was completely out of the bag Brennan watched as the yellow and red box was set down in front of her, the happy birthday bag being slid to the side at the same time. "OPERATION" in big bold letters was spread across the length of the box horizontally as she examined the picture and began to decipher the purpose of the game. Her expression went from amused at Booth's enthusiasm to confused at the game.
Booth blinked as he watched his partner's brow furrow, "What's wrong Bones you've never played Operation before?" Shaking her head the scientist said, "Well, no. Actually I haven't. What's the point of this game anyway? None of these are accurate. This is a horrible game. I understand wanting to get a game like this for a child who wants to be a doctor, but this game would not help at all." Booth sat in silence staring at his partner, trying to think of a reply.
After a couple beats, Booth said with a shocked tone in his voice, "What? I loved this game when I was a kid! Taking the little pliers and trying to carefully take out the little pieces, then jumping when the buzzer goes off, laughing when you see small sparks between the edges and the pliers…" He babbled on about the game as Brennan interrupted his memories, "But Booth, this game is completely inaccurate!" Turning the box over she referred to the picture that showed a diagram of the playing board.
Placing a finger on the thy of the brown haired man with the big red nose she began, "Look, there's a horse where the femur should be, a bucket where the patella should be." Her finger slid to the chest, "Also, I've heard the term 'broken' heart," she said putting air quotes around the word 'broken' as she continued, "But that is most certainly not what it looks like. The same with the term butterflies in the stomach, which if I am not mistaken, refers to a nervous feeling of anxiety. "There are definitely not actual butterflies in the stomach…" Brennan's finger glided up to the apple in the man's throat but before she could comment on its absurdity Booth interjected, "Alright, alright!"
Brennan sighed, "Fine, but may I add one more comment?" Booth rolled his eyes at his partner and replied, "Why not…you've already pretty much cut it down completely…Go ahead, shoot." Examining the box in her hands, she then looked up to Booth and said, "This doesn't come with batteries. Here it says, 'Batteries Not Included.' Did you buy batteries for this aberrant game?" Booth gave a defeated look to Brennan and looked down to the fry that he had been holding in his hand for the passed few minutes. "No…" he mumbled like a child who had just been reprimanded.
After seeing Booth's childish reaction, guilt crossed her features as she tried to console her partner. "It's ok Booth I'm sure you didn't mean to buy Parker a ridiculous and idiotic game such as this, or mean to make the obvious mistake of not buying batteries…" She sat patting her partner's arm and smiling. A crooked smile that didn't reach his eyes tugged at Booth's lips, "Thanks Bones. Thanks a million," he muttered, grabbing the board game and shoving it into the happy birthday bag. Sighing, Brennan looked confused as to why Booth's thanks didn't seem genuine; had her consoling really not worked?
Shrugging off the idea Brennan added, "Alright let's go," as she stood and tossed the money for their fries on the table. Looking up, a surprised Booth said, "What? Where?" He stood as well, grabbing the bag. Rolling her eyes as if it were obvious she said, "To the store of course! You need batteries and I need to buy Parker a present, since I'd forgotten." The idea that she wanted to get Parker a gift cheered him up a bit as he nodded, "Alright, to the store then."
"It's ok, Booth. I'm sure you didn't mean to buy Parker a ridiculous and idiotic game such as this, or mean to make the obvious mistake of not buying batteries," Booth muttered to himself, making his voice pitch a little higher than normal as he imitated Brennan. "God, Bones…I swear." As soon as they entered the store, Booth pointed her in the direction of the toy section before heading off on his own to find batteries.
Scanning the shelves for energizer AA batteries he mumbled to himself in the same high pitch voice, "This is a horrible gift and completely inaccurate." Shaking his head he continued in his normal voice, "Geez, Bones. It's just simple kid fun…." Suddenly, as he grabbed a pack of AA batteries from the hook he laughed to himself, "I can't even imagine what she would think is an appropriate gift for a kid!"
Glancing to the side, he saw a man staring at him; the man probably thought he was crazy standing there mumbling to himself before suddenly laughing out loud. His face turned a little red before he said, "What? Got a problem?" The man shook his head and walked away, leaving Booth to embarrassingly puff out his chest and nod as if to say 'that's right.'
So much absurdity, so little time. As Brennan walked down the aisle marked "Toys" from a big sign hanging from the ceiling, she looked left and right at the shelves filled with colorful boxes marked "Best toy of the year!" or "You won't believe what this can do!" She rolled her eyes and tried to avoid anything that looked ridiculous which, consequently, was...everything.
Feeling frustrated Brennan turned the corner and began looking through more toys. Most of the things she saw consisted of action figures or robot toys with buttons that said "Try me!" on them. Suddenly, a sign caught her eye. Turning, she read it carefully. "Fun interactive learning." A smile spread across her face. A few minutes later Brennan found herself waiting for Booth by check out stand number three which they had both decided on meeting at when they first arrived.
It wasn't long before Booth walked up to her with a quizzical expression. "Well…?" he said eagerly trying to get a good look at the box Brennan hid behind her back. "Did you get the batteries?" Brennan asked, teasing Booth by ignoring his question while Booth made a few attempts to see what she had chosen. Booth rolled his eyes before holding his hand behind his back as well. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours," he said winking at her, making her blush from the suggestive tone and look in his eyes. Rolling her eyes, Brennan pulled the box out from behind her just as Booth did the same, holding out the Energizer AA batteries.
When his eyes landed on the box in his partner's hand his eyes widened, "What the…you've got to be kidding me, Bones….a CHEMISTRY SET?" She nodded eagerly. Booth laughed in disbelief, he should have known. "Bones, he's turning EIGHT," he said, placing emphasis on the number as he said it. A confused expression crossed her features, placing a finger in the bottom right corner she said, "Yes, it says for children 8 years and older. There are no heavily dangerous chemicals in here…just your simple house hold items that'll react together to either become a pleasing-to-the-eye color or bubbly." Brennan explained as if it were the most simple thing in the world.
"Bones, he's a kid! He doesn't want something involving school; he wants a toy he can play with and destroy!" Booth laughed. Brennan's expression became even more confused, "Why would you buy him something if he's going to destroy it? And I thought you said you wanted me to help him expand his intelligence. I think he will like this gift very much!" Turning, she mumbled, "Much better than the ridiculous gift you got him."
Booth's eyes widened when he heard what she said about his ridiculous gift, hurrying in front of her he grinned, "You wanna bet on that bone lady?" She stopped so she wouldn't run into her partner and blinked, "What?" Pointing to the chemistry set in her hands he said, "I'll bet 20 bucks Parker likes my gift better than he likes yours." Brennan laughed, "You want to BET on your own child's birthday gift outcome?" Booth straightened, his smile not faltering in the least at the comment, "Hey, hey its cool if you don't want to…I mean I'd be scared too if I was about to lose 20 bucks." Booth turned and began to walk toward the cashier who was giving the two an odd look.
As he handed the batteries to the young teenage cashier and began to pull out his wallet, he mentally began to count down: 3, 2, 1.
"I am not scared!" Brennan said with a little sassy tone in her voice, hurrying after Booth and setting her chemistry set down in front of the cashier who was handing Booth his change. A triumphant grin spread across Booth's face who put his wallet away and grabbed his small bag, "I'm not so sure…" Brennan quickly interjected his remark as she handed the cashier her money, "$20 when Parker likes my gift better than yours." Booth rolled his eyes as Brennan nodded her thanks to the cashier and took her bag. "If he likes your gift better, IF," Booth reminded.
A sly smile spread across her face as she bumped Booth coyly as she passed him, "No, I was right the first time." A small smile tugged at Booth's lips as he watched her leave ahead of him before catching up to her.
As they left the store, Brennan commented, "So do I get to be the bank lady again?" Her partner laughed, "No, Bones. It doesn't work that way…you were the bank lady that time because you weren't in on the bet." Nodding she said, "So then who's the bank lady this time?"
Booth laughed out loud and swung his arm over her shoulders, "Sweets!" the rest of the way to their cars the two laughed at the 'Sweets, the Bank Lady' joke.
"Come on, Sweets. Don't ruin this for us," Booth whined as he held out the 20 dollar bill to Sweets who leaned back in his chair with a determined look. "I'm not sure I should be condoning this…behavior" Sweets insisted stubbornly, ignoring both the 20's that were being held out to him. "What….you and Booth make bets all the time! As I recall the last one was on a CASE, you don't find that worse then a birthday present?" Brennan asked in disbelief, not understanding how someone can do one thing and then suddenly do another, consistency is a part of life!
"Alright, I admit to that. But since then I have given such actions second thoughts and I have decided that," Sweets looked to Booth, "activities such as this could be considered gambling?" The psychologist put emphasis on the word 'gambling' as he raised his eyebrows at Booth.
The FBI agent could feel anger bubbling in his chest as he narrowed his eyes, "You tryin to say something, Sweets?" he growled, making Sweets falter and sit back once more. Clearing his throat, Sweets began again, "Look, I just don't think I should be allowing this to go on, is all…"
Brennan and Booth exchanged a looked, causing Sweet's expression to become nervous; he knew that look. After a moment of a quick yet effective silent conversation passing between them, the two partners turned to the young psychologist with a smirk across Booth's face and a calm and satisfied look on Brennan's.
"So what do ya think Bones?" Booth asked, his eyes never leaving Sweets. "I don't know Booth it seems our fun has been canceled," she mused in reply while also not looking away from Sweets. The psychologist's eyes darted between the two, his expression suspicious. "Well that is definitely disappointing, what exactly do you think we should do about this?" Booth said as an even bigger smirk appeared on his face, "Perhaps we should…go to plan B?" Brennan asked as if the idea had just occurred to her. Sweets gulped and felt nervous under their eyes watching him, "Plan B? What's plan B?"
The FBI agent grinned; they had Sweets now! "You know, Sweets, you've been extremely lucky so far," Booth began. "You've branded us as distrusting and guarded emotionally," Brennan continued, the two finishing each other's sentences as they often did when they were up to something. "Maybe in the beginning you had a hard time getting us to open up," Booth went on. "But eventually we began to open up to you…" Brennan's eyes flashed as she said this. Sweets grumbled knowing they were about to finish off their evil plan to get him to condone the bet, "Y-yea so…" he mumbled.
Brennan and Booth exchanged another glance before looking back to Sweets, "You do know that it's very easy for us to hold back again, right?" Booth inquired in a cocky voice. "And then all your progress will have been lost," Brennan said in a tone as if she were sad, which she wasn't.
Sweets' eyes widened, "You…you wouldn't!" he cried in horror as he watched their expressions grow even more satisfied. Sighing, Sweets rubbed his forehead tiredly, "Alright, alright fine…" he mumbled before holding out his hand as they handed him the money. "Thank you, Sweets," Brennan said happily. "Yea, thanks Sweets. You're the bank lady!" Booth laughed as he stood to leave with Brennan in tow.
Smiling tiredly, Sweets nodded, "Yea, yea…wait, what? Bank LADY?" Sweets said offended as the two laughing partners closed his door behind them.
Several young children ran around excitedly while laughing and jumping about excitedly. The park was the perfect place to hold such a party. One of the picnic tables became crowded with kids, all centering around one in particular. Parker sat at the head of the table with a huge grin across his face as he looked down at the delicious-looking birthday cake and its lit candles. He listened to his friends and family around him sing Happy Birthday to him before he took a huge breath. He held it as he closed his eyes for a minute, then blew all eight candles out in one blow. While his friends cheered, Parker gave a triumphant smile to his father who stood smiling in the background next to his partner.
Booth smiled and gave Parker a thumbs up as Brennan said, "I never understood the point behind making a wish before you blew out the candles. It seems silly to think that a wish will be granted simply by blowing them all out at once." He rolled his eyes, "It's all just for FUN, Bones. Do you know what fun is? Remember we're at an eight year olds birthday party? More importantly we're at MY KID'S eighth birthday party, so try to lighten up a little, will ya?"
Brennan smiled crookedly and nodded, "It's almost time to open presents, isn't it?" A grin spread across Booth's face, "Yes, yes it is. I can't wait to collect my money from the bank lady." He laughed, leaving Brennan to roll her eyes at his overconfidence.
The two sat in silence while they watched Parker open all his presents from his friends. Booth had set their two gifts aside so that he would open them last.
Finally, when Parker picked up the big red bag that said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" across it, he smiled happily up at his dad. "Here we go…" Booth murmured to Brennan before giving his son another thumbs up.
Tossing the tissue paper that hid the gift from being seen inside the bag aside, Parker pulled the board game out quickly and marveled at it. "Awesome! I've played this game at school before!" the boy exclaimed before showing it off to his surrounding friends who noisily agreed and asked if they could play a game after he was done. Leaning towards his partner, Booth smirked, "Looks like Parker likes my gift a whole lot." Brennan scoffed, "He hasn't opened my present yet, Booth. Calm down." Though her tone was harsh, a smile at his childish attitude tugged at her lips. Booth was so cute sometimes.
Taking the rectangular box wrapped in purple wrapping paper and neatly labeled, "To Parker, From Bones," Parker smiled up at Brennan who waved back in response. Tearing at the paper, Parker stared down at the box and read what it said taking a few moments to figure out what it was. Brennan gulped. As the moments went by as Parker examined the box, she realized that he really might not like it. She didn't even need to look to see Booth's smirk. Suddenly without warning, Parker's smile grew huge as he exclaimed, "AWESOME! THIS IS THE BEST GIFT YET!"
Booth's jaw nearly dropped to the floor as Brennan gasped and gave him a triumphant smile. As his friends crowded and he chattered away about the chemistry set, his father was busy gaping in disbelief. Turning, she gave Booth a satisfied smile, "Well, Booth, it looks like I was right. Parker didn't just want something to play with and destroy, he wanted something to expand his mind, something intellectual that he could learn from," she said satisfied.
Right after Brennan had finished boasting, Parker held up the box proudly and exclaimed, "HEY WHO WANTS TO GO BLOW SOME STUFF UP!?" The children cheered and raced after Parker who was now running off towards a water fountain.
Brennan blinked and watched the children run off while feeling Booth's smirk, "Something intellectual that they can learn from, right Bones?" She rolled her eyes, "I still won and you still owe me the $20," she said simply. Booth chuckled and leaned back against the tree, "Get it from Bank Lady Sweets, Bones."
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