Blame the Buffoon

Doctor Cyrus Bortel was hunched over his workbench with one eye looking deep into a microscope. Hundreds of pieces of scrap paper were strewn about, all covered in mathematical and scientific notes. On the left side of him lay two identically sized rat cages, each with it's own rat tenant. On his right were many vials of a strange blue mist like substance, which waved up and down like the ocean's waters even though there was nothing around that could cause it to move. Cyrus adjusted the zoom function of his microscope several times before letting out a victorious scream.

"It works! My nanobots work!" he said to himself as he pulled away from the microscope. "The genetic re-sequencing was a complete success!"

The not so evil doctor jumped from his lab stool and danced around the room. He patted the tops of both rat cages and gave them both a thumb up. With a swift motion he grabbed a vial of the blue mist in his hand and held it up to the sky. A wide grin was on his face.

"With these nanobots the human race can finally decide the true gender of their unborn child! You want a bouncing baby boy? Sure! Just use Cyrus Bortel's ingenious invention and change your fetus' DNA to become male. Ooooooh! I wonder which government medical division will pay the most for my Genetic Re-Sequencer Bots?" The doctor rushed over to his computer and opened up his favorite web page,

"All I have to do now is wait for the best bid and I'll be sipping on a coconut in a tropical paradise! All the other scientist will be so jealous of my new summer home." He let out a series of chuckles. "And while I wait. It's time for a 'Pals' DVD marathon!"

He quickly exited the lab, locking the door behind him.

Not two minutes after Cyrus had left his lab; there was a green flash from the roof. Green plasma spurted out of a small hole and made it's way in a full circle, about four feet in diameter. A slab of concrete fell to the floor with a hollow thud. It seems Cyrus had invented a new type of lightweight concrete, which would soon be a big mistake on his part.

Two shadowy figures fell through the newly created hole and checked the room for any possible threats. The two intruders seemed to know the surroundings quite well, as if they had been there before.

"Dr. D why are we stealing from this Bortel guy again? Can't you just for once make something yourself?" Shego asked.

Dr Drakken rubbed the bridge of his nose as he explained to his sidekick once again, "I've said it a hundred times over Shego. It's called outsourcing. And besides, this Bortel fellow has a knack for creating things that have exceedingly evil potential."

The blue man scoured the room, flipping over books and papers. He examined the shelves, carefully making sure there were no Moodulators hiding somewhere on them. He didn't want that horrible experience to happen again. Shego on the other hand, sat back onto of the concrete slab she had removed from the roof. She filed her nails and she did regularly.

"It has to be here somewhere." Drakken pondered. He spotted the two cages and decided to check them out. "Hello there little fella. You wouldn't happen to know where I could find a vial of Genetic Re-Sequencer Nanobots could you?" He wiggled his finger in front of one of the rat's faces; it sniffed his finger and proceeded to bite down hard. He pulled his finger back with a screech, immediately putting it in his mouth.

"Shego. Did you see what that little fur ball did?" he said in a hurt tone.

Shego shook her head and let out a loud sigh. "That's what you get for wagging you tiny little finger in its face. Probably thought it was a carrot stick or something." She went back to filing her nails.

Drakken pouted as he gave the rat the evil eye. And that's when he spotted it. He swiped one of the vials into his hand, slipping it away into to his coat pocket.

"Aha! The GRS! Come Shego lets get out of here before you know who decides to show up." Drakken made his way back to Shego.

With the flick of a switch from within his coat a rope ladder lowered itself down the hole. He and Shego made their exit.

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It had only been four hours since their latest heist and Drakken had already managed to set up his newest doomsday machine. A giant glass sphere was filled to the halfway point with a deep red mist. Apparently Drakken had modified the GRS. The sphere was surrounded by four pillars that bent at an angle at the top, which connected the four in a house like structure. At the top of the point of the four pillars was a small rocket, not even five feet tall, which held a smaller and empty version of the glass sphere. A control panel was positioned just in front of the device.

Drakken grinned as he looked over his newly created machine. "Shego! It's finished!" he yelled into the air.

The doctors green assistant waltzed into the main chamber several minutes after being called. Her hair was a mess and she had bags under her green eyes. She stretched as she let out an audible yawn. Drakken tapped his foot impatiently.

"I was waiting…" he scolded her.

"Well sorry Dr. D… normal people usually sleep at this hour." Shego yawned once again.

The blue man walked to his sleepy sidekick and chuckled to himself. "Yes normal people do Shego. And that's why now is the perfect opportunity to unleash my newest creation!"

"Newest modified version of someone else's creation." Shego corrected him with a sly grin.

"Yes yes… outsourcing and all that." Drakken turned away from Shego, flicking his hand at an invisible bug. "Back on topic Shego. At this time of night Miss Possible will surely be asleep. Our little goody goody wouldn't want to go out past her curfew. And while she is sleeping we will launch my modified GRS into the atmosphere and have it spread across the globe! Infecting everyone!"

Maniacal laughter ensued. Shego just stood there in her groggy state with one eyebrow raised. She felt she was being left out loop. Dr D had some explaining to do.

She tapped the man on his shoulder and interrupted his laughter. "What exactly will this thing do Doc?"

Drakken turned towards Shego and let out a sigh, "You really should have stayed awake Shego. I explained it all while I built the device."

Shego looked around confused, no one else was there. "You explained it to yourself?"

"So I like to talk to myself while I work, who cares." Drakken pouted.

He rubbed his forehead and proceeded to put both arms behind his back. "I've reprogrammed the Nanobots Dr Bortel designed. Originally they would be used to select certain DNA strands inside a human fetus, in order to fully ensure that the child would be the specific gender the family selected. But now they will do the exact opposite! They will".

"Make sure the baby is the opposite gender that the family selected?" Shego interrupted.

Drakken's head fell below his shoulders. "No Shego. The child will not even be born! For the Nanobots will be dispersed not only into females but males as well. The Nanobots have been designed to modify their DNA to make the production of babies impossible! The human race will die out if the world doesn't succumb to my demands!"

Shego stood in place with her mouth wide open. This had to be the most ridiculous plan ever! "You're going to kill off the human race! How dumb are you!" Her hands became engulfed in green plasma.

The now shaking doctor stepped away and shielded his face. "It will never come to that Shego. The world will have to give in, lest they want the human race to die out. I just need the machine to actually work. You wouldn't want them to call my bluff if it were just a sham?"

"So you won't be launching that thing then?"

"Not unless it comes to it. But even then I could easily reverse the Nanobots damage."

"That's good to hear. Because if you do launch that I would appreciate you hadning over the antidote." Came an all too familiar voice from the shadows.

"Kim Possible!" Drakken screamed.

"And her trusted sidekick!" Ron called out as he stepped into view.

Drakken's eyes narrowed. "Yes yes, and the buffoon. Let's just skip this and get right to the fighting."

With that Shego leapt from her place and charged headlong towards Kim. Her hands blazed with plasmatic fury as she swung for Kim's head. Kim easily dodged the blow with a cheerleader style back flip, nearly planting her foot into Shego's chin in the process. The red head made her way towards the nearest wall with Shego right on her tail. A vertical run up the concrete surface followed by another flip and Kim was now behind her green foe. They exchanged blow after blow, with none of them finding their mark.

Meanwhile Drakken and Ron stood watching in awe as the two women did battle. With a quick glance between each other they began their own epic fight. Hands flew back and forth as the sounds of slaps ringed throughout the lair. Ron struggled to hold his ground as Drakken's open handed blows hit him on his forearms. The blond boy's hand flew past Drakken's defenses and made its way to the blue mans nose. A flick of the finger and the taller man pulled his hands to his face, covering his now sore nose. Ron had his chance. He pushed forward and launched the doctor into his new creation. With a grin on his freckled face he went to restrain his defeated foe. As he walked past one of the pillars surrounding the device, a loud ripping sound was heard by all. His pants were now a casualty of this battle.

"Well… when life gives you lemons." Ron quoted the old time saying as he picked up his torn pants. With lighting fast speed and an impressive display of dexterity he managed to tie up the doctor with the remains of his pants.

Drakken struggled as much as he could but he could not free himself from his clothing prison. "I hope you washed these before coming here buffoon!" He yelled as he sniffed the air. He coughed slightly.

"Had gym class today, and those were the only change of clothes I had! Enjoy them for now." Ron laughed as he headed for the machines control panel.

His trusted naked mole rat popped out from the remnants of his pants pocket. Clearly confused as to his current whereabouts he sniffed the air, trying to locate his missing master. Ron gave a high pitched whistle and Rufus immediately homed in on the sound, perching himself on the blondes shoulder. The boy and his pet studied the control panel meticulously. Ron scratched his head and looked to his faithful pet.

"I have no idea how to disarm this thing buddy… want to go with the regular approach?" he asked.

"Butt'n mash!" squeaked Rufus.

Ron cracked his fingers and went to work. He pressed every random sequence of buttons he could, until a loud beep rang from the keypad and he looked to the glass container. The red mist of nanobots swirled around violently and began to shift in color. The red quickly faded to purple, then back to its original blue. Ron dusted off his hands.

"Looks like we've disarmed it little buddy."

Rufus looked at him with his head tilted to one side. "But 'ow?"

Ron closed his eyes and raised one finger to the roof, "Simple art skills Rufus. Blue is the opposite of Red. And if this stuff was bad when it was Red… then it must be the opposite now that it is Blue. So it's good now." The mole rat rolled his eyes.

The pant-less boy sighed as he reached up to the rocket at the top of the pillars. "Fine… If it will make you feel better we'll just make sure this mini rocket can't launch. No more threat and we can head home for some Nacos."

With little effort Ron managed to bend the fins at the bottom of the rocket. Drakken must have been cheap in making the thing. His job now complete, Ron made his way back to his best friend.

While Ron had been off disarming Drakken's machine, Kim and Shego had managed to wreck their whole side of the lab. Kim had dodged every shot of plasma Shego threw at her and now the walls were covered with black burn marks. They had tumbled around in a wrestler like grapple and knocked tools off lab benches and broken several stools. Shego was now raining down on Kim with a flurry of plasma shots as she fell from the air, preparing to drop kick the teen hero. Kim twisted and turned, avoiding each shot. She raised her arms up and grabbed Shego's foot mid air. Using Shego's own momentum to spin herself around, she launched Shego in the direction of the machine.

Drakken finally broke free of Ron's pant knot and got to his feet. He laughed as he ran to the control panel and pressed a large red button.

"AHA! You're too late Kim Possible! I've just activated my machine and soon the human population will cease to reproduce! Say good bye the human race!" He cackled.

His head leaned back in triumph. "Heads up!" Kim called out.

Drakken looked back in the direction of Kim and he saw it. A green and black blur flying right for him. He had no time to dodge; he could only stand there and watch as he was hit. The evil genius and his green sidekick both slipped out of consciousness. His machine behind them began to whir with activity. The blue nanobot concoction condensed into the rockets smaller container and it launched into the sky, but only a few feet or so. It made a hundred and eighty degree turn and plummeted down to the ground, near the two villains. With an explosion of blue smoke the two were engulfed completely.

"Crisis averted. Let's ace this place" Kim put an arm around Ron's shoulder as the teen hero's made their way out of the lair.